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We’re already working so hard to find men/impress men/get men to commit/keep men. We don’t need any more work on our plate as it is. So please, stop wasting your energy on these things that men don’t even notice, or worse yet, don’t want!

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Agreeing with him all the time

Men (the ones that aren’t narcissistic) can’t stand a woman that agrees with everything they say. When he asks you where you want to have dinner, it’s because he genuinely wants to know (so don’t say, “wherever you want to go”)! When he picks at you about something, he wants you to fight back! A man can tell immediately when a woman is just agreeing to appease him, or make him like her. And it’s a turn off.

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Insecure because you don’t have big boobs, commercial-worthy hair or an impeccable sense of style? Don’t worry: when it comes to looks, men can actually be more perceptive than you think. There are plenty of small, seemingly unattractive details that men love.

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Sure, a hot body, gorgeous face and easy-going personality win a man over. But don’t fear if you gain a few lbs. once in a relationship, or if he sees through your “cool” demeanor. There are a dozen plus surprising things that make men fall even more in love with us, without us even trying.

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Whoever said that women only get dressed for women was only halfway correct. We do consider, when shopping or getting dressed, how our appearance will measure up against other women’s: is this dress unique, or have I seen it before? Will I look as slim as my super slim friends while wearing this? Do I pull off this hairstyle better than that other woman? But the only reason we do this measuring, is to determine how noticeable we will be to men. One woman standing alone in a room of men obviously is the bell of the ball. But add a bar full of ladies that spent two hours on their appearance, and you have to know what your competition is. So: what do men actually notice? And what are we just wasting our time on and, as that anonymous person put it, just doing for the ladies?

2011 will unfortunately be known to many as the year when “Heauxs Were Winning.”  The public watched Basketball “wives” snag baller after baller and witnessed countless rappers wife up video vixens and booty models.  Comment sections across the world-wide web were stampeded by readers holding their college degrees and dignity high above their heads like swords. In shock and horror, they questioned how these men were overlooking sophisticated, educated women to flaunt big bootied brainless beauty queens on their arms. (Of course we assumed that if a woman’s biggest claim to fame is a KING magazine cover, she automatically has to be an idiot).

What many women failed to question was  A) Were these women as clueless or uncouth as we assumed they were?  B)  Whether or not these men placed as much value on class, sophistication and education as some of their female counterparts and C) Why are so many of us attracted to men whose priorities in a potential mate include fat booty, frying chicken, and freak in the sheets?

This got me thinking that although many women think they know what men want, it’s more likely that we’ve created an idea of what we think men SHOULD want.  Some of the things that we value in relationships and sex simply don’t matter much to some men, and men desire completely different things from a woman based on whether a relationship is solely sexual or soul mate material.  The quicker more women understand this, the sooner they too will be “winning.”

What you are about to read is a written account based on what I as a woman have witnessed from the values expressed by a variety of men. If you are truly interested in what a man values in a woman, try asking one.

1.  A College Degree

In no way am I telling you to trade in your Bachelor’s for some booty shorts, but I am willing to bet that when Drake laid eyes on Maliah, the last thing he was asking himself was if she could recite all the elements on the periodic table from memory.  Most men don’t want a brainless beauty for a wife (and you probably aren’t trying to lock down one who does) but they are visual creatures and what we woman have to understand is that if it’s 1:45 am in the club, that man whose been eye-humping you all night probably isn’t looking for his Mrs. Right as much as he is looking for Mrs. Right Now.  For some reason, many woman like to use their education as a reason why they are more wifey material than the girl dropping it low in so and so’s video.  And hopefully you’re struggling through that Calculus class because you know it will give you a better chance at a successful future and not just the next eligible bachelor.  An education is a valuable asset, but it doesn’t guarantee you a good man over the girl dancing for dollars.