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The day I realized that I was sabotaging myself… I cried.

No, wait – let me rewind.

I had actually already begun successfully losing weight at this point. I had hit my stride! I was happy! I was excited! I was eating clean, working hard, learning so much about myself, and having fun. It felt easy, effortless, and I was enthusiastic about the progress and my new body.

But all of a sudden, it came to a grinding halt. It was no longer about losing weight, nor was it about living healthier. It, honestly, wasn’t about anything. And none of that mattered, because I’d go months without losing a single pound.

Make no mistake about it, there are logical, realistic reasons why you would reach a plateau in your weight loss journey. However, if you’re honest with yourself, you might uncover an additional reason: self-sabotage.

Sabotaging yourself is what it looks like when, instead of eating what you know you should and sticking to your schedule, you go off-script for no apparent reason. Was that donut in the plan? Was that extra sleeve of thin mints in the plan?

Self-sabotage is what is happening when you’re trying to convince yourself that what you want right now is more important, more valuable and more meaningful than your long-term goal of healthier living. And while, no, an occasional treat isn’t terrible, we have to accept the fact that developing the ability to say “no” is, in fact, a habit that we must learn. We undermine our ability to develop a “no” every time we say “yes” to something detrimental to our goals, something that perpetuates an emotional eating habit, or something that gives us instant gratification. Instead of developing the will to say “no,” we develop a reason to continue saying “yes.”

Sabotage is also what it looks like when, even once we realize we shouldn’t be doing something and we continue doing it anyway. I had to realize that I’m still contributing to my ability to develop my “no” even when I stop eating something after I’ve taken my first bite.

I’m not saying that life doesn’t happen. Of course it does. However, again – if you’re honest with yourself, more often than not, it’s an act of sabotage.

I had to keep it real. I began sabotaging myself because I’d become afraid. What would life be like when I became even smaller? It was intimidating, shrinking down to a size I’d not been since my adolescent years. What would my body look like? Would I have to spend the rest of my life unhappy, nibbling on rabbit food to maintain it? Not gonna lie… once I started thinking about this stuff, the self-sabotage started rolling in. (This might very well be where the phrase “Don’t think – just do it!” comes from.)

A successful weight loss journey requires a major amount of self-reflection. You have to truly look at yourself and how you’re living in order to realize just how your habits contribute to your current state. The moment I realized that I’d been self-sabotaging, I needed to accept that I needed to do some thinking. I needed to admit my fears, address them, and get past them so that I could successfully continue on in my journey – that’s what brought me to tears. It’s not easy, but nothing worth having ever comes that way. Do the hard emotional work, embrace your fears, and the sabotaging will come to a slow halt.

Like I always say, your body will thank you for it!

Erika Nicole Kendall is the writer behind the award winning blog, A Black Girl’s Guide to Weight Loss, where she blogs her journey of losing over 150lbs. A trainer certified in women’s fitness, fitness nutrition and weight loss coaching, she can be found on Facebook and Twitter.

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From StyleBlazer

We’re here to banish one stereotype right now: brown girls do work out! From the gym to the basketball court and atop mountain trails, we’re keeping fit, healthy and strong!

And with dance inspired workout classes like Zumba, and organizations like Black Girls RUN! that foster a sisterhood, it’s never been easier to find a workout that’s just for you!

Now that the bikini season is literally around the corner and the weather’s getting warmer, we have some fitspiration to get you up and at them this weekend. Whether it’s a lap around the track, a swim or a hike, or break your best booty pop out at Zumba, let these strong ladies inspire you to be your best, most fit self!

From Christina Milian to Misty Copeland, check out some of fave ladies of color getting their work out on!

Read more at StyleBlazer.com

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I’m not going to lie, I’m decidedly anti-scale.

Not because I’m lying to myself about my weight, not because I want to remain delusional about it, and not because it’s just easier to “not know.” I’m “anti-scale” because it puts unimportant numbers in front of me. It perpetuates the myth that the most meaningful thing that I could do for my weight loss goal is lose a ton of mass, and it doesn’t matter where that mass comes from.

If I know that my body will carry up to eight pounds of water weight, and I go and sit in a steam room for far longer than is naturally healthy and sweat that water weight out then come out and get on the scale, I’m going to see a “weight loss.” Never mind the fact that, whenever I eat or drink something new, I’ll pack that water weight right back on. Never mind the fact that it’s quite unhealthy to dehydrate myself in that fashion, and that I’ll be negatively affecting my daily bodily function to even try it. I will have lost weight. I guess that’s what’s important in the end.

And, what’s to be said of the difference between muscle and fat? Muscle is necessary not only for general function, but also fitness and self-preservation. Don’t I want to be healthier for years to come? Muscle helps with that, and equally important, weight maintenance. If I’m not careful about how I lose weight, I’ll lose lots of valuable muscle, which negatively affects my metabolism far more than losing fat. Should I risk all that hard work just to see a number drop on the scale?

Besides, what about simply watching to see my progress in the mirror? Don’t many people lose a a few pounds simply to change what they see? What do I do when I’m losing weight, but can’t respect – or, don’t know how to respect – the changes I might be unable to see?

I figured out a solution. A way to track my progress, respect what I was seeing in the mirror, and help me focus on what was most important – building the body I wanted – and not a non-descriptive number.

I shuffled through my closet, and pulled out a dress. I’d never been able to wear it before – it was always too small, too tight, and my shoulders were far too large for me to even get it over my head. At this point in my journey, I’d experienced just enough success to get the dress over my head, although I looked like quite the lumpy mess in it. Not to fear, though. I’d put in work, and my new goal was to become a bombshell in that dress.

In fact, the dress became a much more positive reinforcement than the scale ever could. As an inch-by-inch-by-inch cube of muscle weighs more than a cube of fat with the same metrics yet is still smaller, my appearance would change – which was something I wanted – even though the scale might show a gain. I didn’t want to look like a formerly-fat-now-flabby-and-deflated person – I wanted to look toned. I needed muscle to do that. Slipping into that dress every week helped me gauge how well I was coming along in achieving that.

Week after week, I’d slide into that dress – pulling and tugging at first, letting it fall right onto me eventually – and I’d notice something new about how it fit on me. One day, the shoulders would be less round, a bit squarer and even a bit broad. Next, less rolls in the front and back, and more of a waist appearing. Sometimes, I’d whimper about my shrinking breasts, but I was still happy. It meant progress, even if the double Ds had to go.

I even remember the last day I put that dress on – it literally fell on so fast that I couldn’t even get my arms into the sleeves! I was able to fit into it, shoulders and all, without the arm holes. It became time to retire the dress.

I learned a lot from my dress. I learned how to notice changes in my body – both for the better and the worse – and how to act based upon how I want to either encourage or discourage those changes, which was something I’d never learned before. If anyone asks me, I tell them to ditch the scale and go get yourself a sassy dress! It’s not only more fun, but more pleasant. Watch your body – and your self-esteem – thank you for it!

Erika Nicole Kendall is the writer behind the award winning blog, A Black Girl’s Guide to Weight Loss, where she blogs her journey of losing over 150lbs. A trainer certified in women’s fitness, fitness nutrition and weight loss coaching, she can be found on Facebook and Twitter.

Source: WENN

We often hear tales told by celebs that reveal just how damaging the entertainment industry can be on a person’s self-esteem, especially women. There’s the pressure of being thin enough and constantly having your physical appearance scrutinized by Hollywood execs. Soulful songstress Kelly Price recently opened up to the lovely ladies over at CocoaFab about her ongoing battle with weight loss and having to walk on egg shells as a “big girl” in the industry. Peep some of what she had to say below.

On her struggles with weight loss:

“I’m a big girl that comes from a big family, with a very slow metabolism and if I don’t exercise I cannot [lose weight]. Even if I’m not doing bad eating wise, I can stay the same, but I can’t lose weight. I have to stay mobile and that’s good for me because I need to keep myself moving. It’s really hard keep on track while being on the road, but I can’t go very long without feeling it. My body will remind me, ‘You have to get up and do something.’ I am grateful for that. In that sense, I’ve retrained my body to miss it if I don’t exercise.”

On why maintaining a healthy weight is important:

“To be able to use a God-given gift and to live from it and to really live well from it, I would be a fool to allow being undisciplined to cut my life short and so that’s really what it’s about. I fall off the wagon, but you know that wagon is still parked in the garage so I get back on it.”

On the industry’s cruelty towards larger people:

“I was always the fat girl. It was super extra hard because we didn’t have a whole lot [growing up], so I didn’t dress fly. I didn’t have any of that stuff happening. And then coming into this industry, I was known for being talented, but I was still the fat girl. And it wasn’t what people were looking for. There’s a lot that you hear, there’s a lot of cruelty out there. Some of it comes from the executive offices. It comes from other artists at times. It was a very difficult thing to overcome.”

On having to always portray herself as sweet and non-threatening because of her weight:

“When I first came into this business, I had to, for the sake of being able to sell myself as an artist, always be happy and jovial and smiling. I was the happy nice girl. And I am a happy nice girl, but I have my moments too. But you kind of know that you can’t afford to have a bad moment because you’re also the fat girl and you’re going to give them another reason to talk about you. “

On how she overcame it all:

“I kind of had to come into my own and again it was the realization that I came from nothing, except for my foundation in faith and I’ve been given this great opportunity. And as far as I’m concerned, that happened because God let it happen. There was no person, whether they thought I was too fat, too black, too country, too ghetto, too New York, too thug, too whatever. Nobody ultimately had the say over whether or not I was going to make it. So again, it falls back to my foundation of faith. Sometimes I gotta look in the mirror say, ‘Hey, they’re still saying you’re too fat, but you’re here. They gotta take it or leave it.’ And in most cases, if they leave it, it’s all good because they don’t need to be in my space anyway.”

Turn the page to watch Kelly’s interview and hear her sample a few lines from “Heartbreak Hotel.”

Source: WENN

One of the most interesting – and exciting, to be honest – side effects of weight loss is having the opportunity to adapt to a new body.

After losing so much weight, it feels like everything is different. Your face changes, your hands and wrists change, your hips change, your feet and shoes change… everything is different, and you’ve got to get used to it. Quickly.

Entering into my journey, I had major body image issues. I wasn’t a fan of looking at myself in the mirror because, now that I can finally admit it, I wasn’t excited by what I saw. I wasn’t excited by my figure, because I knew I wanted to lose weight and didn’t know how, so I spent as little time as possible dwelling on it. When I looked in the mirror, I knew what I’d be seeing. No reason to gawk at it every day.

It took a long time for me to get over that, and an even longer time to understand why that was the case, but I’ve learned better, now. Here are a few important tips for figuring out how to adapt to a changing body, and learn to love your new physique:

1)  As your face is changing, the way you will put on your makeup should change. That means, as your face thins out, the arch in your eyebrows will be too wide, and you’ll need to shrink them. You won’t need to use as much blush. You may even need to put your eye shadow on differently. I had to treat myself. I went to a professional makeup artist, and had him teach me how to give my new face the looks I liked best. It helped make it easier for me to transition into my new body while leaving the old baggage behind.

2)  I invested in a full length mirror, and I put it in a very present spot in my house: the bathroom. Step out of the shower and admire my hard work, and encourage myself to keep going! Not only because I may have more work to do, but because only hard work will maintain what I’ve earned through hard work.

3)  I bought new clothes (yes, clothes other than my “progress dress”) that could be easily tailored as I shrunk down, and I bought proper undergarments for them. Pants with clean lines, wrap dresses, blouses in bright-but-solid colors, skirts with simple shapes… all of which became staples in my wardrobe. Slips and underdresses helped me invest more in my appearance – smoothing everything out, making everything look neat and “proper.” I, of course, wanted to be healthy, but after I got past the point of health, I wanted my body to look the way I wanted it to look. Now that I knew I had the ability to change it myself, I felt more comfortable investing in it in that way.

4)  I even changed my hair – I figured, hell, if my body can look differently, so can my hair. I had the opportunity for a complete reinvention, and I took it. Short and cropped soon turned into big and fluffy, and I rocked it happily.

The fun thing about weight loss is that you don’t always know what’s going to turn up looking differently, next. One month, it was my tummy, the next month, my arms… next, my thighs and hips. I felt encouraged to embrace my body because I no longer felt like a runaway train – I could manage my weight, and be excited about it and what came from it.

Any person who dives into a weight loss journey headfirst should do so with an element of self-exploration in mind. You can learn a lot about yourself, if you do it the right way, and you can have plenty of exciting experiences of your own, too. Losing weight can be challenging, but if you treat yourself with love and care, your body will thank you for it!

Erika Nicole Kendall is the writer behind the award winning blog, A Black Girl’s Guide to Weight Loss, where she blogs her journey of losing over 150lbs. A trainer certified in women’s fitness, fitness nutrition and weight loss coaching, you can hit her up on Facebook and Twitter.

WENN.com

Wendy Williams took a moment from doing all of the interviews to actually be interviewed, and this time, by Dr. Oz. She opened up to the famed TV doc about her huge weight loss since last year, and how sneak eating many unhealthy foods when she was young allowed her weight to skyrocket over the years.

During the interview she discussed growing up in New Jersey as a young woman and having her parents restrict the type of foods she could eat. No high fatty foods and no seconds. But little did her parents know that what they kept her from eating, she would often sneak in the house, under her bed, and eat when no one was looking.

“I would always sneak in the refrigerator and eat seconds and underneath my bed – you know, I had my own bedroom – it was littered with Twinkie wrappers and Jolly Rancher wrappers. And I would sneak eat, because I was denied food.”

Fast forward to the adulthood and the last few years and Williams says that her weight was climbing again. With the age of 50 coming around the corner, she decided she needed to do better for herself. Williams decided last spring that she was going to try and eat healthier, and since then, she cut out the really bad foods and only allows herself sweet treats from time to time:

“It’s funny because I wasn’t a gorilla before. I lost maybe 20lbs. I weigh 175, I told you when I got on the scales it was 195 and then you know I was like ‘Okay, I’ve got to get ready for my fiftieth birthday and that was last May.”

“I said that but I don’t turn 50 for a year and a half, but my metabolism is slower. Fifty, I can see that as one of those milestones that makes you want to jump off a building.”

“It might not be right for everybody, but I am perfect the way I am right now. I weigh 175 pounds. I am very accepting of my height and weight and where I am probably for the first time steadily in my life. I feel good.”

She also offered a few tips on what you can substitute your favorite high fat, high salt, and high sugar foods out for:

“Cut out a few things from your diet, you’re going to notice the difference in how you look. It’s not going to happen overnight. Stop eating full-fat chocolate bars. Grab yourself two SnackWell’s cookies instead of eating the Entenmann’s. Kale chips instead of potato chips.”

On a sidenote, Wendy Williams is 6’0″ and as a fellow tall woman, I know how easy it is to pack on the pounds and not even realize it’s getting that bad. So kudos to her for being able to drop 20 pounds, and to be able to do so in her older age, because that’s usually when it’s toughest. Kudos to her!

Can you tell the big difference in her size?

Source: WENN

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie usually isn’t one to shy away from discussions about his struggles with weight loss. Earlier this year the 50-year-old Newark native made an appearance on The Lateshow with David Letterman and had no qualms with joking about his ever-expanding waisteline. He also spoke openly about his attempts to lose weight. His ability to laugh at himself earned him a gold star in Reverend Al Sharpton’s book. Not long after Christie’s appearance on Letterman, Sharpton openly praised him and offered to provide the Governor some weight loss advice.

Today we learned that Christie decided to take a different approach to weight loss. According to ABC News, the New Jersey Governor secretly underwent lap-band surgery three months ago. Christie revealed that he’s shed 30 lbs since the procedure. Christie’s attempt to kick his weight loss efforts up a notch seems to point to prior speculations that he intends to run for president.

TMZ recently caught up with Al Sharpton to ask him what he thinks of Christie’s weight loss and whether or not he thinks the surgery had anything to do with Christie planning to run for office in 2016. Check out some of what he had to say.

On what he thinks of Christie’s secret surgery: 

“I’m glad to see that he’s series about getting the weight off of him. I’d offered to help him. I did it naturally, but the way that he’s doing it is still good. You do not need to carry that weight around. He says he’s doing it for family and his kids, which is admirable. Others think it’s politics. Either way I can tell him that you must lose the weight.”

On his willingness to help Christie keep the weight off:

“If that doesn’t work, come see Reverend Al. I’ll show you how to do it natural and keep it off. The challenge is to start, now you have to maintain. I couldn’t be your starter, but I could help be your maintenance man.”

On if he thinks the weight loss is a sign Christie run for president: 

“Uh, it’s a sign he’s losing weight. I think that he may be doing it for political reasons. He may not be, but take it from me. I lost weight. I’m still not president, Chris.”

Turn the page to see Sharpton’s interview. 

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If you’re trying to lose weight and absolutely refuse to feel hungry, protein is your best friend. It passes through your system slowly, taking longer to metabolize. That means you stay full longer. It also is (if you choose it wisely) low in fat, sugars and an array of other ingredients that “diet” foods sneak into you. These high protein foods will save you calories, money and time.

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The other day, someone said to me, “Erika, I eat a lot whenever I’m anxious, stressed out, or need to sleep… how do I combat this?”

I considered it an opportunity to talk about one of my favorite topics, emotional eating.

First, understand that using food – because, yes, you’re using food the same way you use drugs – to elicit certain responses from your body is unhealthy. You’re sacrificing your health for the sake of your emotions, all because you may struggle with coping in healthy ways. It’s not healthy, not sustainable, and ultimately risky.

Second, understand that “eating a lot whenever you’re stressed or anxious,” and being aware of the fact that you purposefully overeat when you’re feeling stress or anxiety, is basically textbook emotional eating.

From WebMD:

1. Emotional hunger comes on suddenly; physical hunger occurs gradually.

2. When you are eating to fill a void that isn’t related to an empty stomach, you crave a specific food, such as pizza or ice cream, and only that food will meet your need. When you eat because you are actually hungry, you’re open to options.

3. Emotional hunger feels like it needs to be satisfied instantly with the food you crave; physical hunger can wait.

4. Even when you are full, if you’re eating to satisfy an emotional need, you’re more likely to keep eating. When you’re eating because you’re hungry, you’re more likely to stop when you’re full.

5. Emotional eating can leave behind feelings of guilt; eating when you are physically hungry does not.

The reality of emotional eating – and I’m speaking from personal experience – is that a person copes through food when they have no other way to cope and don’t understand how harmful it is to cope with life matters using things instead of problem-solving techniques. If you have no other way to handle the fact that your boss is a total jerk, but you know that that pint of Ben & Jerry’s makes you feel better, even if only for a moment, you’re going to get that pint no matter what it says on the nutrition label. Plain and simple.

I spent a good portion of my life eating emotionally, binge eating and suffocating my emotions with sugar. I’d keep a stash of those sugary Starbucks drinks under the side of my bed, ready for me to down them all whenever I felt upset. I kept candy in my purse, in my closet, in my desk, always at the ready whenever I needed a pick-me-up. I made sure I was always stash-ready.

You see, it’s not enough to understand that “it’s wrong to overdo it on the oreos,” because the problem extends beyond simply the “weapon.” Though bingeing on the Oreos can make you gain weight, it’s the habit that’s the problem, and the habit is “hiding from problems in junk food.” Give up the bingeing on foods, and you might replace it with an equally problematic habit like shop-a-holic-ism, alcoholism or nymphomania.

It wasn’t until I truly learned what the phrase “coping mechanism” really meant, that I could be free of my destructive habit.

A “coping mechanism” is a tool that you use to help you combat stress and anxiety. For me, my coping mechanism for winding down after a stressful day is yoga. For many others, it may be a bubble bath. For many more, it may be writing. You might decide to try chamomile tea for rest and relaxation. It could even be a mid-day meditation, or just taking 10 minutes to give yourself the opportunity to regroup after a stressful event in order to sort out your feelings. All of these things make a difference.

To my dear reader, I would strongly advise you to do some soul searching. Check out the book, The End of Overeating by David Kessler, and understand why you’re so engendered to this particular habit. Do some thinking about what kinds of coping mechanisms would help you find better ways to calm down and sleep. Most importantly, if you feel as though you struggle with doing this on your own, don’t feel afraid to reach out to a professional to help counsel you towards finding the coping mechanisms that’d work best for you. It’s not only important in regards to your weight, but your overall physical and mental health. As I always say, your body will thank you for it!

Erika Nicole Kendall is a trainer certified in women’s fitness, fitness nutrition and weight loss coaching who also chronicles her own 160lb weight loss journey on the award-winning blog, A Black Girl’s Guide to Weight Loss. Hit her up on Twitter, or check her out on Facebook.

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Emotional eating can be one of the most disruptive habits to a person’s life. The guilt over losing control, not to mention the worry over the added pounds, drives a lot of emotional eaters to hole up in their homes, cancelling plans and even sometimes missing work. The results can be devastating. But while it only takes a few minutes to make the decision to consume those ten cookies, it also only takes a few minutes to overcome the urge. You just need actions you can take right now to do so.