All Articles Tagged "weddings"
About A Woman Who Wouldn’t Let Her Husband Be His Friend’s Groomsman Because Other Women Would Look At Him
About a month ago, one of my good guy friends from college got married. I’ve always loved weddings but I was particularly excited about this one because it was basically like an alumni reunion or attending one of those HBCU homecoming events that those of us who attended a PWI rarely get to experience. Yeah, I’m a little salty about it if you couldn’t tell.
Anyway, the entire day was beautiful. The ceremony took place outside in a valley. So you can see mountains towering over is in all of the pictures. My friend, the groom, quickly wiped tears from his eyes when he saw his bride walking down the aisle. They poured three different colors of sand into a jar during the ceremony to represent the fact that their marriage consisted of the bride, groom and God. And that the three parts were inseparable. I usually don’t remember wedding ceremonies but I’m sure I won’t forget this one. That’s how remarkable it was.
And then came the reception.
I was sitting at a table with my best friends from school and one woman who I knew from back in the day but didn’t really hang out with. You could call us loose associates. Even though I didn’t and still don’t know her all that well, she always struck me as a kind person. Her husband, who she met in college, is also really close to the groom. As the MC for the night is introducing the wedding party, I notice things have gotten noticeably tense between this associate and her husband. Now, I’m not one to be all up in married people’s business. I believe it’s important for couples to handle their disagreements privately. Still, that notion went out the window with each terse whisper, folded arm, roll of the eyes and then finally her husband’s decision to quietly leave the table and head over to the bar.
Once he made his exit, the rest of us tried our hardest to avert our eyes and save this woman just an ounce of dignity in a situation that was becoming increasingly awkward by the minute. Finally, as a bit of a rationale to explain what we just witnessed, she leans over another friend and starts speaking to us about what just went down.
“Y’all are going to have to excuse him. He’s in his feelings right now because he couldn’t be in the wedding party.”
My friend held her face completely still while she muttered an “umm hmm.” Something wasn’t being said here. Again, normally I wouldn’t pry; but since she was actively inviting us into it, I decided to satisfy my curiosity.
“Why couldn’t he be in the wedding?”
“Oh girl, cuz I don’t play that! I know what weddings do to people. I don’t want him walking down no aisle with nobody but me and I certainly don’t want these thirsty, buzzard women to be scoping my man all night while he sits at the bridal table.”
Now, it was my turn to attempt to hold my face straight and expressionless in the face of this foolishness. It was no small feat since my friend decided to kick me under the table right at that very moment. Any person with good sense would have concluded that they were talking to an insecure fool and decided to tap out. But the food hadn’t been served yet and I had time.
“So, you don’t want him walking down the aisle or sitting at the bridal table because of how other women might respond to him?”
Let me set the scene for y’all. Most of the women there were women from school, women he’d known for nearly a decade at this point. If he ever wanted to get with any of them, he would have tried by now. And hell, I don’t know their history. Maybe he had. But like I said, that was ten years ago. And he’d chosen to marry her. I would think that would be enough of a self confidence boost. Apparently not. Furthermore, I remember being around him at the time when he and his wife were dating. He was notorious for being faithful and committed. In the moments when his now-wife wasn’t around him, he was always getting clowned by his boys for being “p*ssy whipped,” which was really just a term for faithful and monogamous. I don’t know what had happened since then, but I doubt he’d suddenly changed his stripes and starting stepping out on her. Still baffled, I asked her another question.
“So…how did he respond when he said he couldn’t be in the wedding?”
“It was a big to-do. We went over it back and forth. The groom (She said his name but we’ll keep it cute.) tried to call me and convince me to let him do it. He offered to let him walk down the aisle with so-and-so (She said her name too.), who I know is not a threat. But I still wasn’t here for any of it. I put my foot down and that was the end of the story.”
That’s when I’d had enough. I raised my eyebrows and nodded slowly, making mental notes of what my friend and I would discuss later. I swear I don’t understand women like this. Seeing as how there are more women than men on this planet, your husband will always be around them. And quiet as it’s kept, some of them will be looking at him with lust in both their eyes and hearts, whether he’s wearing a tux or a grimy sweatsuit. But unlike a wedding, you won’t always be there in the same room with him. He has to go to work. He runs errands. They have children so I’m sure there are times when he’s around other mothers, some of them single and some of them not entirely satisfied with what they have at home. If we’re honest, there are always opportunities for a man to cheat. And you can’t be there 100 percent of the time to make sure he doesn’t. At that point, you have to trust that you married someone with integrity. I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life attempting to monitor a grown man.
But that’s just me. Maybe I’m the crazy one who just doesn’t understand how these things work.
Ladies and gentlemen, what do you think about this situation? Is it wrong to keep your spouse from participating in a wedding party? What would you do if your husband or wife tried to keep you from doing so?
Veronica Wells is the culture editor at MadameNoire.com. She is also the author of “Bettah Days.”
While many of us are pinning photos of elaborate, expensive weddings to Pinterest boards or daydreaming of dancing with 500-plus guests at our wedding receptions, one couple decided to take a more intimate and financially practical approach to their big day with an unconventional destination wedding.
Instead of traveling to the Caribbean or Europe, newlyweds Alva and Bo flew to San Francisco to have their wedding at the city’s gorgeous, jaw-dropping City Hall.
Photographed by Heather Rice Photography, the couple had a navy blue and hot pink color scheme on their big day and looked completely stress free as they shared kisses and sweet looks on their big day. And by the looks of their photos, it appears both Alva and Bo may make minimalist weddings a huge trend this upcoming season.
By making their love look effortless in their photos, we won’t be surprised if couture city hall weddings become the next “it” trend this upcoming season. See more of their beautiful photos, below.
(As relayed by Lauren R.D. Fox based on a culmination of experiences)
A college friend of mine became engaged at the top of last year and sent our her Save-The-Dates about six months later. Much to my dismay, I saw that she and her fiancé decided to tie the knot in Kansas City. Why? I don’t know. Neither party has any ties to the city and I, personally, have never had any desire to visit the location, including now.
Though, initially, I was planning to attend — I even asked my homeboy to be my stand-in date –as money has gotten tighter during the past year, my resolve has lessened. I don’t necessarily have a lot of excess cash to blow and when I do splurge, I want it to be on an experience I’ll actually enjoy. Yes, I know I should support my girl on her big day but the wedding is 30-minutes out of the day. If I travel anywhere I want to make a trip out of it, but Kansas City just isn’t the place to do that. To be honest, I’d rather send her some cash and save the rest of mine for a real vacation. Is that wrong?
Have you ever noticed that when publications come up with a list of some of the best bridal gowns and moments from TV shows, they rarely make mention of Black brides?
I’m getting married in about two months, and while perusing the Internet earlier, I tried to look through a slideshow online from a popular bridal magazine listing the best TV wedding dresses. I was intrigued. Sadly, per the usual, everyone mentioned was White. I guess I can understand it. Many of the Black TV show characters we have loved over the years, specifically the women, weren’t necessarily known or given much credit in the mainstream for their style (aside from maybe Denise Huxtable and Hilary Banks). Still, I couldn’t help but to think that it would be nice to see some Black brides and the fabulous dresses they’ve worn over the years during our favorite wedding episodes.
When you can’t find it, make it. So here you go:
Angie Baxter on All My Children
When daytime television’s first Black super couple remarried in 2008, they were able to have quite the luxurious ceremony — one their characters weren’t able to pull off the first time around after saying “I do” in front of the justice of the peace. Angie made her entrance as Ne-Yo sang wearing this gorgeous, corset-adorned, off-the-shoulder number.
It’s wedding season (but then again, when isn’t it?), and as we gather to celebrate prosperous love and blessed unions, it’s also a time to evaluate friendships. In other words, it’s time for brides to figure out who’s going to be in the wedding party. Sifting through contacts, the goal is to find women who have been there through all stages of life with the bride-to-be. Childhood, college, and life as an adult. They are the crucial people who make up the wedding party, and picking the wrong people could turn the wedding planning process into a nightmare. But on the flip side, what if a friend doesn’t want the responsibility?
Someone from my childhood recently got engaged and is planning a wedding that will take place at the end of the year. She asked me to be a bridesmaid, but we haven’t been “friends” for a really long time. Although I was flattered that she asked, I don’t really care for her fiancé due to past issues that created a rift between her and me in the first place. So, I thought, why would I even be asked to be in the wedding? This is only the second time I’ve been asked to be a bridesmaid, but it was the first time I opted to decline. I didn’t really know how to do it without causing drama, but where there is a will, there is way.
Do It ASAP
I didn’t respond until a month later, waiting until the invitation had been sitting on my dresser collecting dust. I didn’t know what to say or how to say it, but I now realize that the sooner, the better. During the wedding planning process, a lot can happen in a month and it would help the bride if she knew immediately whether you accept the position or not. So often, people will either take no response as a “yes,” which wasn’t where I was headed. Instead, I was going around asking other people for advice rather than just talking to her about how I was feeling.
Honesty Is the Best Policy
The thing about friendships is that sometimes they’re mutual and sometimes they’re not, unbeknownst to the other person. I considered that she may still view me as a good friend even with the gap in our communication, but my feelings weren’t mutual. If you ever find yourself in this situation and feel that you aren’t close enough to the bride, or if you have qualms about her soon-to-be husband and don’t feel like you should be part of the wedding, then honesty is the best policy. You don’t have to rehash the drama of the past, bring up old feelings or go into detail about why you don’t like someone. Still, let her know that you wouldn’t make a good bridesmaid right now, whatever the reason. Whether it’s because you won’t be wholeheartedly in it or the amount of money you’d have to dish out is currently too much for you, honesty really is the best policy. If she’s mature enough, she will appreciate and respect your openness.
Reinforce the Friendship
This doesn’t apply to my situation because there was no real friendship to reinforce in the first place. However, if you are close to the bride and you’re dealing with financial issues, scheduling conflicts, or any other issues that are preventing you from being a bridesmaid, let the bride know that it isn’t personal. Remind her that you would still like to be there for her on her special day and help out any way that you can, but your current situation just won’t allow you to assume the full responsibilities of a bridesmaid. And believe me, there are plenty of responsibilities.
There are a lot of perks to being a bridesmaid, but when you just don’t have it like that or you simply don’t want to, don’t feel obligated to say yes. Have you turned down the opportunity to be a bridesmaid before? How did you do it?
In recent times, honeymoons have become more important than the wedding itself. With couples placing their focus and finances on having a memorable trip after they tie the knot, some couples solely have honeymoon registries or are seen sharing their picture-perfect memories from their trip with major social media brands for exposure.
But have you ever wondered where the idea of a honeymoon originated from?
According to Cosmopolitan, the honeymoon tradition was created during the 19th century in Great Britain. Unlike today, the honeymoon was a time when newlyweds traveled to visit family and friends who weren’t able to visit their family members. Although honeymoons sounded uneventful, by the mid-1800s, couples began to travel for their personal enjoyment. The term “honeymoon” dates back to the 5th century when newlywed couples were offered a drink called mead. Mead was a honey-based alcohol beverage that was believed to be an aphrodisiac that would help a couple conceive. The couple traditionally drank this after their first “moon” together as a married couple.
Although most couples have distanced themselves from the those traditions, Brides.com reports some aspects of the original honeymoon are coming back around. Increasingly, couples are traveling with friends after their nuptials to spend quality time with both their spouse as well as friends they rarely see. David and Raena Oswald told Brides how they planned their “buddymoon” and still had the luxury of an intimate honeymoon at the same time.
“Two of our friends were married just one week after us, so we decided that we might as well go to the same place and share a couple of days together,” Raena said. Mutually deciding on Punta Cana, Dominican Republic, the couples spent alone time at their respective resorts, but also arranged a full-day group excursion by catamaran to nearby Saona Island. “Looking back, we would absolutely plan our honeymoon the same way,” David said. “It was reassuring to be in a foreign country knowing that we had close friends nearby, and we met so many other newlyweds on our trip who we still keep in touch with.”
Although some couples may think inviting a group of their friends on their honeymoon would be a distraction, one groom told Brides, it only enhanced the love he felt for his husband more. “Having new energy in the mix really enhanced the honeymoon experience, and made me appreciate my friends— and especially my new husband— that much more,” Robert Martinez shared.
Can you say you would feel the same? Tell us your thoughts, below.
Earlier this week, footage of a groom overcome with emotion as his beautiful bride made her way to the altar began circulating on the internet. It’s no surprise that the video went viral. Honestly, the groom’s reaction to his bride was enough to bring a tear to the most callous person’s eye.
“Awww….that man has the love of God to cry over his beautiful bride,” said one commenter.
“Wowww that’s love…that’s how a man [is supposed] to react when he sees his bride,” said another.
According to BuzzFeed, the newlyweds, Gabriel and Annabella Deku, got hitched on May 14, 2016 in London. They met four years ago when they were both students at Portsmouth University. Annabella was a politics and sociology major; Gabriel studied economics and finance.
Interestingly, Gabriel wasn’t the only emotional groom who took the web by storm this week. R&B singer Ne-Yo’s wedding video was released by BET on Thursday, and he also broke down a couple of times at the celebration. During the reception, he attempted to serenade his new wife, Crystal Renay, but was overcome with emotion and had to stop for a moment to get himself together.
Although it’s often expected that the bride will be the emotional one, I’ve noticed that emotional grooms really aren’t all that uncommon. At my cousin’s wedding a few years ago, we could barely move along with the ceremony because her now husband and her father could not stop crying. At one point, we thought that the groom would start hyperventilating, and her dad could barely escort her down the aisle because he sobbing uncontrollably.
If you’re a future bride or bridesmaid who would like to indulge in some adult beverages before the wedding, allow us to introduce you to the Boozy Bouquet.
This bridal bouquet with a built-in flask holds approximately 4 oz. of liquor. It was designed by Angela Huerta. Huerta says that she was inspired by a friend who was inspired by a friend who was getting married and expressed a desire to sneak a flask into the ceremony using her bouquet.
“She joked that she wished she could smuggle a flask in her bouquet and I honestly started to think about solutions while Gwen snipped away,” Huerta told the Huffington Post. “I wanted to be able to surprise her with a crafty makeshift bouquet flask in time for her wedding. I went online to look for DIY inspiration and realized that nothing like this existed, so I began thinking seriously about developing the concept.”
Huerta’s invention allows brides and bridesmaids to detach the flower arrangement from the flask and take a sip of their beverage of choice.
The landscape designer is currently running a Kickstarter campaign through which she hopes to raise $55,000 in order to finance the final revisions of the project before she begins manufacturing the bouquets.
Now that she’s in full-fledged wedding planning mode, Ciara says that she will, in fact, design her own wedding dress.
“When you think about that special day, it’s a very big moment in our eyes,” the singer told E! News. “I look forward to the moment of creating my dress and doing all that good stuff, and celebrating and having one of the best nights of my life—because I know it’s going to be.”
The singer announced her engagement to Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson last March. The public took initial interest in their relationship last summer when Wilson announced that the two have vowed to remain celibate until their wedding day.
“She was on tour; she was traveling. I was looking at her in the mirror. She was in the dressing room getting ready to go before she went on stage, and she was sitting there, and God spoke to me and said, ‘I need you to lead her,’” he shared during an appearance at The Rock Church in San Diego last year. “And I was like, ‘Really?’ And he was like, ‘No, I want you to lead her.’ So I told her, ‘What would you do if we took all of that extra stuff off the table and just did it Jesus’ way?’ And she was relieved.”
It is unclear when the two intend to tie the knot, but we are looking forward to seeing all of the beautiful photos from what we’re sure is going to be a lovely ceremony.
(As relayed by Lauren R.D. Fox based on a culmination of experiences)
My best friend and her fiancé decided to have a destination wedding in Fiji and I was elated to travel to the Pacific Island to witness their union.
Serving as the Matron of Honor, I planned my friend’s bridal shower, bachelorette party and even assisted her while she shopped for a wedding dress and shoes. And although I believe I have been beyond supportive, my friend is no longer speaking to me.
After helping her plan the most important day of her life, I told her I won’t be able to attend her wedding. My husband and I are trying to become pregnant and there is currently an outbreak of the Zika virus in Fiji. Initially, I was going to take the risk and attend her wedding despite the CDC’s travel warning for women who are trying to conceive or are expecting their first child but I realize now my future child’s health is more important.
The Zika virus causes fetuses to develop eye defects, hearing loss and impaired growth. They can even develop microcephaly and other brain defects. Although I’m sure my friend knows this information, she is giving me the cold shoulder. I know her wedding day is important to her, but outside of her fairy tale picture I have an image of a perfect life too and that includes giving birth to a healthy baby.
Am I a bad friend for not attending my friend’s wedding or is she acting like a Bridezilla?
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