All Articles Tagged "weddings"
(As relayed by Lauren R.D. Fox based on a culmination of experiences)
A college friend of mine became engaged at the top of last year and sent our her Save-The-Dates about six months later. Much to my dismay, I saw that she and her fiancé decided to tie the knot in Kansas City. Why? I don’t know. Neither party has any ties to the city and I, personally, have never had any desire to visit the location, including now.
Though, initially, I was planning to attend — I even asked my homeboy to be my stand-in date –as money has gotten tighter during the past year, my resolve has lessened. I don’t necessarily have a lot of excess cash to blow and when I do splurge, I want it to be on an experience I’ll actually enjoy. Yes, I know I should support my girl on her big day but the wedding is 30-minutes out of the day. If I travel anywhere I want to make a trip out of it, but Kansas City just isn’t the place to do that. To be honest, I’d rather send her some cash and save the rest of mine for a real vacation. Is that wrong?
Have you ever noticed that when publications come up with a list of some of the best bridal gowns and moments from TV shows, they rarely make mention of Black brides?
I’m getting married in about two months, and while perusing the Internet earlier, I tried to look through a slideshow online from a popular bridal magazine listing the best TV wedding dresses. I was intrigued. Sadly, per the usual, everyone mentioned was White. I guess I can understand it. Many of the Black TV show characters we have loved over the years, specifically the women, weren’t necessarily known or given much credit in the mainstream for their style (aside from maybe Denise Huxtable and Hilary Banks). Still, I couldn’t help but to think that it would be nice to see some Black brides and the fabulous dresses they’ve worn over the years during our favorite wedding episodes.
When you can’t find it, make it. So here you go:
Angie Baxter on All My Children
When daytime television’s first Black super couple remarried in 2008, they were able to have quite the luxurious ceremony — one their characters weren’t able to pull off the first time around after saying “I do” in front of the justice of the peace. Angie made her entrance as Ne-Yo sang wearing this gorgeous, corset-adorned, off-the-shoulder number.
It’s wedding season (but then again, when isn’t it?), and as we gather to celebrate prosperous love and blessed unions, it’s also a time to evaluate friendships. In other words, it’s time for brides to figure out who’s going to be in the wedding party. Sifting through contacts, the goal is to find women who have been there through all stages of life with the bride-to-be. Childhood, college, and life as an adult. They are the crucial people who make up the wedding party, and picking the wrong people could turn the wedding planning process into a nightmare. But on the flip side, what if a friend doesn’t want the responsibility?
Someone from my childhood recently got engaged and is planning a wedding that will take place at the end of the year. She asked me to be a bridesmaid, but we haven’t been “friends” for a really long time. Although I was flattered that she asked, I don’t really care for her fiancé due to past issues that created a rift between her and me in the first place. So, I thought, why would I even be asked to be in the wedding? This is only the second time I’ve been asked to be a bridesmaid, but it was the first time I opted to decline. I didn’t really know how to do it without causing drama, but where there is a will, there is way.
Do It ASAP
I didn’t respond until a month later, waiting until the invitation had been sitting on my dresser collecting dust. I didn’t know what to say or how to say it, but I now realize that the sooner, the better. During the wedding planning process, a lot can happen in a month and it would help the bride if she knew immediately whether you accept the position or not. So often, people will either take no response as a “yes,” which wasn’t where I was headed. Instead, I was going around asking other people for advice rather than just talking to her about how I was feeling.
Honesty Is the Best Policy
The thing about friendships is that sometimes they’re mutual and sometimes they’re not, unbeknownst to the other person. I considered that she may still view me as a good friend even with the gap in our communication, but my feelings weren’t mutual. If you ever find yourself in this situation and feel that you aren’t close enough to the bride, or if you have qualms about her soon-to-be husband and don’t feel like you should be part of the wedding, then honesty is the best policy. You don’t have to rehash the drama of the past, bring up old feelings or go into detail about why you don’t like someone. Still, let her know that you wouldn’t make a good bridesmaid right now, whatever the reason. Whether it’s because you won’t be wholeheartedly in it or the amount of money you’d have to dish out is currently too much for you, honesty really is the best policy. If she’s mature enough, she will appreciate and respect your openness.
Reinforce the Friendship
This doesn’t apply to my situation because there was no real friendship to reinforce in the first place. However, if you are close to the bride and you’re dealing with financial issues, scheduling conflicts, or any other issues that are preventing you from being a bridesmaid, let the bride know that it isn’t personal. Remind her that you would still like to be there for her on her special day and help out any way that you can, but your current situation just won’t allow you to assume the full responsibilities of a bridesmaid. And believe me, there are plenty of responsibilities.
There are a lot of perks to being a bridesmaid, but when you just don’t have it like that or you simply don’t want to, don’t feel obligated to say yes. Have you turned down the opportunity to be a bridesmaid before? How did you do it?
In recent times, honeymoons have become more important than the wedding itself. With couples placing their focus and finances on having a memorable trip after they tie the knot, some couples solely have honeymoon registries or are seen sharing their picture-perfect memories from their trip with major social media brands for exposure.
But have you ever wondered where the idea of a honeymoon originated from?
According to Cosmopolitan, the honeymoon tradition was created during the 19th century in Great Britain. Unlike today, the honeymoon was a time when newlyweds traveled to visit family and friends who weren’t able to visit their family members. Although honeymoons sounded uneventful, by the mid-1800s, couples began to travel for their personal enjoyment. The term “honeymoon” dates back to the 5th century when newlywed couples were offered a drink called mead. Mead was a honey-based alcohol beverage that was believed to be an aphrodisiac that would help a couple conceive. The couple traditionally drank this after their first “moon” together as a married couple.
Although most couples have distanced themselves from the those traditions, Brides.com reports some aspects of the original honeymoon are coming back around. Increasingly, couples are traveling with friends after their nuptials to spend quality time with both their spouse as well as friends they rarely see. David and Raena Oswald told Brides how they planned their “buddymoon” and still had the luxury of an intimate honeymoon at the same time.
“Two of our friends were married just one week after us, so we decided that we might as well go to the same place and share a couple of days together,” Raena said. Mutually deciding on Punta Cana, Dominican Republic, the couples spent alone time at their respective resorts, but also arranged a full-day group excursion by catamaran to nearby Saona Island. “Looking back, we would absolutely plan our honeymoon the same way,” David said. “It was reassuring to be in a foreign country knowing that we had close friends nearby, and we met so many other newlyweds on our trip who we still keep in touch with.”
Although some couples may think inviting a group of their friends on their honeymoon would be a distraction, one groom told Brides, it only enhanced the love he felt for his husband more. “Having new energy in the mix really enhanced the honeymoon experience, and made me appreciate my friends— and especially my new husband— that much more,” Robert Martinez shared.
Can you say you would feel the same? Tell us your thoughts, below.
Earlier this week, footage of a groom overcome with emotion as his beautiful bride made her way to the altar began circulating on the internet. It’s no surprise that the video went viral. Honestly, the groom’s reaction to his bride was enough to bring a tear to the most callous person’s eye.
“Awww….that man has the love of God to cry over his beautiful bride,” said one commenter.
“Wowww that’s love…that’s how a man [is supposed] to react when he sees his bride,” said another.
According to BuzzFeed, the newlyweds, Gabriel and Annabella Deku, got hitched on May 14, 2016 in London. They met four years ago when they were both students at Portsmouth University. Annabella was a politics and sociology major; Gabriel studied economics and finance.
Interestingly, Gabriel wasn’t the only emotional groom who took the web by storm this week. R&B singer Ne-Yo’s wedding video was released by BET on Thursday, and he also broke down a couple of times at the celebration. During the reception, he attempted to serenade his new wife, Crystal Renay, but was overcome with emotion and had to stop for a moment to get himself together.
Although it’s often expected that the bride will be the emotional one, I’ve noticed that emotional grooms really aren’t all that uncommon. At my cousin’s wedding a few years ago, we could barely move along with the ceremony because her now husband and her father could not stop crying. At one point, we thought that the groom would start hyperventilating, and her dad could barely escort her down the aisle because he sobbing uncontrollably.
If you’re a future bride or bridesmaid who would like to indulge in some adult beverages before the wedding, allow us to introduce you to the Boozy Bouquet.
This bridal bouquet with a built-in flask holds approximately 4 oz. of liquor. It was designed by Angela Huerta. Huerta says that she was inspired by a friend who was inspired by a friend who was getting married and expressed a desire to sneak a flask into the ceremony using her bouquet.
“She joked that she wished she could smuggle a flask in her bouquet and I honestly started to think about solutions while Gwen snipped away,” Huerta told the Huffington Post. “I wanted to be able to surprise her with a crafty makeshift bouquet flask in time for her wedding. I went online to look for DIY inspiration and realized that nothing like this existed, so I began thinking seriously about developing the concept.”
Huerta’s invention allows brides and bridesmaids to detach the flower arrangement from the flask and take a sip of their beverage of choice.
The landscape designer is currently running a Kickstarter campaign through which she hopes to raise $55,000 in order to finance the final revisions of the project before she begins manufacturing the bouquets.
Now that she’s in full-fledged wedding planning mode, Ciara says that she will, in fact, design her own wedding dress.
“When you think about that special day, it’s a very big moment in our eyes,” the singer told E! News. “I look forward to the moment of creating my dress and doing all that good stuff, and celebrating and having one of the best nights of my life—because I know it’s going to be.”
The singer announced her engagement to Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson last March. The public took initial interest in their relationship last summer when Wilson announced that the two have vowed to remain celibate until their wedding day.
“She was on tour; she was traveling. I was looking at her in the mirror. She was in the dressing room getting ready to go before she went on stage, and she was sitting there, and God spoke to me and said, ‘I need you to lead her,’” he shared during an appearance at The Rock Church in San Diego last year. “And I was like, ‘Really?’ And he was like, ‘No, I want you to lead her.’ So I told her, ‘What would you do if we took all of that extra stuff off the table and just did it Jesus’ way?’ And she was relieved.”
It is unclear when the two intend to tie the knot, but we are looking forward to seeing all of the beautiful photos from what we’re sure is going to be a lovely ceremony.
(As relayed by Lauren R.D. Fox based on a culmination of experiences)
My best friend and her fiancé decided to have a destination wedding in Fiji and I was elated to travel to the Pacific Island to witness their union.
Serving as the Matron of Honor, I planned my friend’s bridal shower, bachelorette party and even assisted her while she shopped for a wedding dress and shoes. And although I believe I have been beyond supportive, my friend is no longer speaking to me.
After helping her plan the most important day of her life, I told her I won’t be able to attend her wedding. My husband and I are trying to become pregnant and there is currently an outbreak of the Zika virus in Fiji. Initially, I was going to take the risk and attend her wedding despite the CDC’s travel warning for women who are trying to conceive or are expecting their first child but I realize now my future child’s health is more important.
The Zika virus causes fetuses to develop eye defects, hearing loss and impaired growth. They can even develop microcephaly and other brain defects. Although I’m sure my friend knows this information, she is giving me the cold shoulder. I know her wedding day is important to her, but outside of her fairy tale picture I have an image of a perfect life too and that includes giving birth to a healthy baby.
Am I a bad friend for not attending my friend’s wedding or is she acting like a Bridezilla?
Check out our newest series Curls Run The World featuring YouTuber Yolanda Renee:
Wedding season is in full effect, which means that bands of loyal bridesmaids everywhere — in one way or another — are pushing their personal needs and desires aside for the sake of getting a friend or loved one to the altar in one piece. Of course, some brides are absolute dolls and their laid back attitudes make being part of their wedding parties a breeze. Unfortunately, there are also those brides who take this whole bridezilla thing to higher heights and deeper depths. For example, I recently read about a bride on Wedded Wonderland, who ordered a bridesmaid to either lose weight or buy two dresses and sew them together because the dress that the bride selected didn’t come in the bridesmaid’s size.
“One bride sent an e-mail to her maids with a link to the gowns. The problem was they were only sold in a sizes 6, 8 and 10. One of the bridesmaids, a size 14, made an awkward phone call to the bride. ‘She told me that her fuller-figured maids should either lose the weight or buy two dresses and sew them together,’ she recalls. ‘I hung up the phone, shocked by her rudeness, and the next day, I politely declined her invitation to be a bridesmaid.'”
Another wild story came courtesy of a reader of The Knot, who told the publication that one of her fellow bridesmaids was asked to reschedule her law exam so that she could fly down to watch the bride try on wedding dresses —kid you not.
“She wanted one bridesmaid to reschedule her law exams and fly in so she could watch the bride try on dresses 14 months before the wedding. And when we didn’t respond to her phone calls or emails fast enough, she sent us FedEx letters overnight with her requests instead.”
Unfortunately, there’s no follow-up for that story, but I pray to God that poor woman did not actually reschedule her exams to appease that loony bride.
I’ve only been a bridesmaid once in my lifetime, and thankfully, the only thing that I can say about the bride is that she asked me to wear an ugly dress, which is the plight my many bridesmaids, so really, I don’t believe that my story would fall under the bridezilla category. Lucky me.
Of course, we’d like to hear from you. What’s the craziest thing you’ve been asked to do as a bridesmaid and did you do it?
Earlier in this series, I shared that I will not have a traditional bridal party at my wedding. Considering that I’m still learning to balance work, my home life, and my other professional aspirations, I knew pretty early on that wrangling bridesmaids and groomsmen would send me over the edge. So, my fiancé and I decided to do things our way. I did, however, want a flower girl and a ring bearer.
Since we don’t have many boys in our family, I immediately knew that I would ask my godson to be the ring bearer. Choosing a flower girl, however, wasn’t so simple. My fiancé has a few nieces and then I also have my own gang of girl cousins to choose from. So, I avoided to topic for as long as I possibly could. And then, on Christmas Day, I was cornered by my outspoken baby —well, not quite a baby, but she’ll always be a baby to me — cousin.
“Can I be the flower girl?!” she asked me in her high-pitched squeaky voice.
Really, I didn’t know what to say. So I stood there dumbfounded.
“I want to be the flower girl!” another cousin, Grace*, who was in another room at the time, screamed as she made her way into the kitchen.
It really is amazing how kids can overhear an entire conversation from another room but will completely ignore directives given to them when they’re standing right in front of you; however, that’s a conversation for another day.
“No, I want to be the flower girl,” added another little cousin after overhearing the commotion.
I’m still not quite sure how I wiggled out of that conversation and managed to avoid it for the remainder of the holiday — I’m
kind of a sucker when it comes to kids — but I vaguely remember one of my aunts overhearing everything and gently stepping in with some kind of brilliant distraction. I was able to dodge the flower girl discussion for months after that until Mother’s Day. I had been at my grandmother’s house all of 25 minutes before she blurted out, “Grace is going to be your flower girl, right?” I got quiet for a moment before I looked to down at 6-year-old Grace, who was peaking from behind our grandmother and starring dead in my mouth waiting for a response. And then I looked over to my right at Grace’s mom, who has literally been like a second mom to me, grinning from ear to ear.
Really, I didn’t have the heart say no. I wasn’t even sure that I wanted to say no. I just knew that I didn’t want to ever play a role in making any of the kids in my family feel left out or unimportant. So, I folded, and said yes.
While I did enjoy visiting with my grandmother that day, I left feeling a little flustered that I was put on the spot like that. But I suppose that was partially my fault for procrastinating. I later decided to just include all three of my little cousins who expressed interest in being flower girls and a couple of my future nieces as well. I mean, our wedding, our rules, right? Besides, is there really a such thing as too many flower girls?