All Articles Tagged "weddings"
The Road To The Altar: Is It Impolite To Pick And Choose Which Children Are Invited To Your Wedding?
As two ladies from the MN team prepare to say “I do,” they share what they’re learning about their relationships, the wedding-planning process, and themselves.
Since day one, I knew that a “child-free” wedding wasn’t an option for me. For one, I like the idea of my future stepdaughter having some people her age to socialize with during the reception. And secondly, two of my younger cousins—who are nine and ten going on sixty-nine and seventy—would never forgive me if I told their grandma to leave them home (I promise, they’re like miniature church mothers). And this is kind of where the problems begin.
Both my fiancé and I have a ton of children in our families, so we compiled a list of the children who we absolutely want to be present on our big day. His list is comprised of his nieces and nephews. Almost all of the children on my list belong to my first cousins. Unfortunately, there are so many children belonging to other relatives who did not make the list. I realize that inviting parents while failing to invite their children is a sensitive subject. I imagine that things get even trickier when you have to tell some parents, “No, it’s not an ‘adults only’ wedding, but your children are not invited.” And I mean really, how do you play the “you’re in, you’re out” game with a bunch of kids without feeling like a petty Regina George?
I thought that I could get some advice from my dad, who is almost always on my side, but he was surprisingly firm in his beliefs about inviting parents while banning their children from social functions.
“If someone invited me somewhere, and my babies couldn’t go I stayed my butt home,” he boldly stated.
And I’m sure there are some parents who feel the same way that he does. I’ve heard horror stories about people throwing fits about their children not being welcome at wedding receptions—not to mention the recent situation where a wedding guest was invoiced by a bride who held a kid-free wedding after pulling a no-call, no-show on the day of the ceremony because her babysitter cancelled. However, I also realize that allowing every single guest to bring their children along just to appease everybody and their mamas could get chaotic (and expensive) fast.
So I’m left wondering if there are any hard and fast rules for inviting children to weddings? Should weddings be an all or none sort of situation when it comes to children, or is there a polite way to invite some and not others? According to The Knot, it’s perfectly fine to include some children while excluding others, but they couldn’t promise that folks won’t be unhappy about it. Joanna Saltz writes:
Don’t feel as though having kids at your wedding opens it up to everyone under 13. Although it may seem tough to exclude, it’s perfectly fine only to invite children who are part of your or your fiance’s family — or those of close family friends. Just because you want your niece at your wedding doesn’t mean you must have everyone else’s niece. If you let yourself get caught up in the drama of “Why wasn’t my child invited?!” you’re going to find yourself in a big (and expensive) mess, with every child of every random guest coming out of the woodwork looking for an invitation. Stand strong, and tell people you’re sorry you can’t include everyone — that you’re trying to limit the guest list.
Clearly, I have some decisions to make.
Did you have a tough time determining which children, if any, would be invited to your wedding? What did you eventually decide and why?
Want to piss a bride off in under 10 seconds? Try telling her at the very last minute that you won’t be attending her wedding. Or even better, just don’t show up. You know, after she has already given the caterer a final head count, finalized seating charts and made final payments to the venue based on guests that have sent in their RSVPs.
Jessica Barker of Minnesota apparently learned this lesson the hard way after she pulled a no-show on the day of a relative’s wedding over the summer. In Barker’s defense, her cousin was hosting a kid-free wedding ceremony and Barker’s mother, who was supposed to babysit, had to cancel at the last minute. So she and her husband decided to stay home but failed to notify the bride and groom.
“We were excited to have a night out, and we got a call from my mom saying that my brother’s daughter was sick with hand-foot-and-mouth disease, and my mom had been exposed and didn’t want to expose my kids,” Baker told ABC. “She needed to be with her, and she wouldn’t be able to make it.”
Several weeks later, the Barkers received a bill for the meals they would have eaten had they attended the ceremony. The total: $75.90.
“This cost reflects the amount paid by the bride and groom for meals that were RSVP’d for, reimbursement and explanation for no show, card, call or text would be appreciated,” the invoice reads.
Barker tells local news station KARE that she was shocked to receive the bill.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she said. “It listed, we would have had two herb crusted walleye and there was also a service and tax charge.”
“I laughed a little bit and just kind of thought about it, that maybe there was something I could have done differently,” Baker said. “Obviously, they were hurt if they sent us an invoice, but I just didn’t feel there was a whole lot I could do to rectify the situation.”
Oh, and in case you’re wondering, she doesn’t plan on reimbursing the relative, but says that she may consider repaying the couple in a different way, like writing a check to charity and sending them the receipt/
“I guess I don’t know what the right answer would have been, what the right thing to do would have been.”
According to Barker, she and her husband are not very close to the couple.
“The bride and the groom are a couple that we’ve not heard from for the 12 years that we’ve been married, so I’m not very close to the bride and groom really at all,” she said. “The bride’s brother was the person we were closest to. There wasn’t a rift; it’s just extended family.”
Of course, it was extremely tacky for the bride to send out invoices for missed meals. Things happen that are sometimes out of people’s control. However, it was also rude and inconsiderate of the Barkers not to reach out and at least communicate to someone that they would not be in attendance after they had already RSVP’d. At that point, it was probably too late for the newlyweds to get their money back from the venue, but a simple email or text message would have made their absence feel like less of a slap in the face.
What are your thoughts on this situation?
Depending on the type ceremony you desire, wedding planning can be a time-consuming process that requires couples to be highly organized. With so many factors to take into consideration, even the most coordinated of couples may not realize until mid-planning that they’ve allowed one thing or another to fall through the cracks.
A recent survey conducted by The Knot in conjunction with PayPal revealed that 65 percent of couples are failing to factor the honeymoon into their wedding budgets. Of course, this is completely understandable. When tasks as large as securing a venue and nailing down a guest list are in front of you, it’s pretty easy to forget about the real celebrating that will likely go down when you and Bae finally have some alone time after months of stressful wedding planning.
The survey also revealed following about how couples are tackling wedding-related expenses:
• 36% of couples paid with credit cards
• 16% of couples borrowed money from a friend or family member
• 17% of couples will borrow money to help finance their wedding
• 57% of couples borrow money from a credit card or financial institution to finance their wedding
What are some of the things that you forget to factor into your wedding budget? Are there any money-saving tricks and tips that you picked up along the way?
Usher and his longtime lady, music manager Grace Miguel, got engaged in January and planned for an Atlanta wedding in summer 2015. But when the public didn’t see it happen, everyone assumed something went wrong.
Not so fast naysayers.
The superstar singer and his woman just decided to have a more hush-hush affair and secretly got married aka eloped followed by a honeymoon in Havana, Cuba, Us Magazine reports. Both have been previously married and have kids, so who could blame them for wanting to skip all the wedding hubbub?
“I have an incredible partner and manager,” he gushed to Billboard in October 2014. “She has helped me through some of the hardest times in my life and my career. She’s someone who’s been able to support and understand all of who I am. Not just as a dancer or as a performer or as a singer, but as a humanitarian and a businessman and as a person.”
Whether you’re feeling fatigued by planning, or just want to save money, there are many realistic reasons for eloping. But there is also the risk of making your family hate you forever. (Just kidding. Kinda). But before you decide to skip to the courthouse or exotic location or friend’s backyard, consider these tips for a smooth, family-friendly elopement:
1. Be considerate of other’s investments – Don’t elope if your parents/family have already sunk big bucks into this occassion, unless you can pay them back quickly. If it’s only your own money that is at stake, then it’s no biggie.
2. Hire a photographer – While some folks may be irked that there’s no big ceremony, you’ll soften the sting of them missing your wedding with a few gorgeous wedding day pics. Hire a photographer to follow you around for an hour or two to document your big day.
4. Bring the family – If you really want them to be there – let them know what’s up! Many hotels and cruise ships have elopement packages that can accommodate a small party. It would be great to have your kids there and you may want to invite a few friends too.
4. Don’t elope mid-argument – If you’re feuding with your family about anything wedding-related, don’t elope out of spite. That could result in years of strained relationships on both sides.
5. Let people know you’ve eloped – Be sure to send out wedding announcements after you elope, so your family and friends feel loved and included.
Have you eloped or are you considering eloping? Or do you think eloping is totally disrespectful to families?
In true millennial fashion, the envelope-pushing generation’s latest trend is bypassing traditional gifts at their wedding.
Instead, millennials are more interested in monetary gifts than receiving china or cutlery. Besides money, millennials are also opting for home repair gift cards or all-inclusive honeymoon adventures. Nina Vitale told The New York Times, “It’s a generational thing. During the past two years, guests have been bringing mostly envelopes, no gifts.”
One couple told The Times they registered at Bloomingdale’s for older friends and relatives who were not tech-savvy or felt uncomfortable giving cash as a wedding gift. However, for their friends who didn’t mind, the couple created an account with Simple Registry, a site where guests can financially contribute towards a couple’s honeymoon activities.
Jason Dorsey, who serves as the chief strategy officer and millennials researcher at the Center for Generational Kinetics, revealed how millennials celebrate their wedding is due to student loans, marriages taking place later, purchasing property or conceiving children before marriage. Because of these other expenses, millennials crave experiences rather than shelling out funds for materialistic appliances.
Dorsey continued saying, “Less is more. This generation of couples live in smaller spaces and don’t need gifts. They would prefer a visit a yoga retreat or tickets to a concert. They want more personal reflections of what they value.”
An assistant professor of sociology, Dr. Arielle Kuperberg also gave insight on this new trend. “When people have lived on their own for years, it is hard to register when they marry,” she said. “This generation of couples also cohabitate in great numbers, entertain casually, marry later. We call this the ‘independent life stage’ in sociological terms. They don’t need anything more for the house.”
When reading the case studies of couples via The NY Times, many still create registries in order to appease those who aren’t ready to break with tradition. In order to bridge the various gaps, couples seek different types of gifts from family and friends who will support their wishes, whether it be helping them with their honeymoon fund or purchasing fancy china for future family dinners.
Calling all brides-to-be! Don’t miss out on the biggest bridal sale of the season! Whether you’re shopping for your special day, searching for great bridesmaid styles, or in need of the perfect wedding day shoe, this David’s Bridal sale has got it all covered!
You can shop this limited time sale from July 10th to July 28th at your local David’s Bridal store. The sale includes a slew of stunning options sure to fulfill all of your wedding day needs:
$50-$150 off our largest selection of wedding dresses
$20 off all bridesmaid dresses (*excluding Special Value); includes Sample Sale clearance bridesmaids dresses purchased off-the-rack (in-store only)
Buy One, Get One 50% off Shoes (*2nd pair of equal or lesser value) [7/16-7/28 only]
WEDDING GOWNS: STRUCTURE
Nothing speaks more to convention in the design of a wedding gown than structure. Certain fabrics have become synonymous with this type of gown, providing form yet still able to be manipulated with precision to the desired design. Duchess satin and satin-polyester blends are the most well-known of structured fabrics and are ideal for A-lines, full or gathered skirts, mermaid shapes or a structured bustier. Some of my brides seek more volume, so I recommend they choose taffeta (which looks lavish in off-white) or organza. One of my favorite fabrics for structured looks is tulle, which is no longer relegated to the underpinnings of a gown. Tulle is charming and beautiful, expressing a sense of youth and femininity; it is not ideal, however, for dancing or moving about.
WEDDING GOWNS: LACE
Once cherished as the ultimate wedding fabric because of its delicacy, scarcity and cost, lace is now the realm of the more traditional brides. Symbolizing fragility and timelessness, nothing communicates tradition more than lace. There are numerous varieties of lace, each with its own weave and look. I love the delicacy of Chantilly lace and the elaborateness of Alencon or Venise. I recommend lace for morning or day weddings as it adds texture and adornment without the glitz of beading or shine. Lace can also be coupled with fabrics such as silk taffeta or satin to provide an element of tradition but not in an overwhelming way.
WEDDING GOWNS: NECKLINES
For many women, sensuality is expressed through the choice of a neckline, but how much is too much? Anything too obvious is seldom appropriate. The neckline of a wedding dress frames the bride’s face and shoulders, and is critical to emphasizing (or deemphasizing) her bosom. For a small bosom, a deep V-neck is always flattering and a carved racer-front or narrow halter creates a sleek, sexy look. For a full bosom, choose a neckline that can hold extra stays or an additional layer of stretch lining for support. I recommend a crumb-catcher neckline as it flatters all sizes. In all cases, err on the side of discretion—even high necklines can be provocative if combined with an element of surprise, such as a low back.
WEDDING GOWNS: THE SKIRT
The shape of the skirt is what determines the look and movement of your wedding dress. There are a few key shapes to choose from: Make a grand impression with a full, gathered skirt or elongate your silhouette with a classic A-line. If you are tall and thin, a circular skirt can be incredibly graceful particularly in a chiffon fabric. If you are curvy, a mermaid shape is extremely flattering. Finally, I highly recommend a narrow column for a skirt shape that is a sophisticated alternative to a full gown. A floor-length sheath is a nod to eveningwear and is considered quite avant-garde for a wedding dress.
WEDDING GOWNS: THE BACK
The back of a wedding dress gets its fair share of attention and therefore should be conceived with this importance in mind. The charm of an artfully designed back lies in the intersection of cut, drape and detail (such as intricate seaming). I connect the back of the dress to the time of day of the wedding. For morning ceremonies, the back should never fall below the level of the bra fastening and should be adorned with traditional details such as tiny bows or ribbons. For late-day and especially evening weddings, a softer, lower drape and more bare skin is alluring and adornment can include sequins, beads and crystals to reflect light and add glamour. Remember, a bride’s exit is as noteworthy as her entrance. Choose the back detail of your wedding dress accordingly.
WEDDING GOWNS: TRAINS & BUSTLES
A train that is integrated into the design of your wedding dress must be bustled. A bustle is achieved by lifting up the fabric of the train and fastening it to the rest of the dress with delicate buttons, loops, hooks, eyes or snaps—the bride can then move freely and comfortably among her guests. So you don’t worry about the bustle coming undone, make sure the stitching of the fastenings is reinforced. I also recommend rehearsing the bustling process several times before your wedding day to avoid any last-minute challenges. Before you choose a wedding dress with an integrated train, take note that the bustle might add unwanted volume to your backside.
I always remind my brides to pay attention to what lies beneath. Your choice of undergarments is critical and should relate directly to the construction of your wedding dress as well as your body type. (A strapless bra does not work for a bride with a full chest, for example.) Choose bras and slips that are seamless to create smooth lines under your gown, and be sure all straps are covered. I recommend packing an extra bra on your wedding day in case one gets misplaced. For lavish ball gowns, some brides add more volume by wearing a second petticoat underneath. Remember this will shorten the skirt of the gown, so additional fabric will be required for the hem. As this is your wedding day, consider white foundations instead of skin-colored to celebrate the mood of the occasion.
I feel the bridal veil is one of the most symbolic and transformational accessories a woman will ever wear. The donning of the veil is a ritual that exists in every culture around the world, creating a moment that is both sacred and seductive. In choosing your veil you must consider many factors, from the location and nature of the celebration to your facial structure and height to how the veil will fit with your hairstyle or headpiece. Veils come in a variety of shapes, lengths and decorations so work with your wedding consultant to find the best one for you and your wedding dress.
Not sure how to handle the bridesmaids dresses? Practically speaking, the bride’s attendants will vary in shape and size so choose a common thread to capture the element of pageantry that their role brings to the celebration. I recommend a uniform color or fabric in different silhouettes to flatter each figure and maintain individuality. Another approach is to ask each attendant to select her own gown (perhaps in a certain color range) to be as inclusive as possible, and create a connection through a finishing touch such as jewelry, hair or makeup. If color is your connector, remember that pale colors work best for summer weddings and dark colors for winter celebrations.
Children bring a youth and element of joy to any wedding. If you decide to include flower girls, their attire should reflect that of the bride’s while remaining age appropriate. Modest necklines and ankle or mid-calf hemlines work best. Hair ornamentation is ideal for the flower girls—tailored bows, headbands or tiny rhinestone flowers on a barrette. Shoes should be elegant white, stain or ballet slippers that blend in tone. My favorite finishing touch for a flower girl is short, white cotton gloves. They look adorable and elegant. If the flower girls are holding bouquets, make sure they are small and easy to maneuver—anything complex will seem out of place on a small child.
Do you feel daring enough to add color to your wedding theme? Color speaks to each of us differently, and not all brides wish to move away from the tradition of white. For those who do, recognize that color can be added through small details or on the wedding dress itself. Think of tones more than the specific colors. For example: sophisticated pales such as rose, celadon or sky blue are flattering; elegant neutrals such as gray, taupe or stone are subtle; and intense brights such as fuchsia and periwinkle are dramatic and diverting. In all cases, color speaks to your imagination and your individuality.
Is it ok to ban kids from your wedding?
Sure, letting kids come means more mouths to feed, which leads to a higher wedding bill. And if you’re planning an extravagant affair, it can be tricky — kids around crystal is never a good idea. Plus, sometimes grown-ups just want to be among themselves. But is it really acceptable for couples to say friends and family can’t bring their kids? One writer doesn’t think so.
Chaunie Brunie’s essay for YourTango, “I Have Kids And I Think It’s Selfish To Have An Adult-Only Wedding” has people talking about the topic, and she points out that for many couples, constant summer weddings mean just one thing: lots and lots of babysitters.
“For us, to attend the ceremony and a reception, I’ll easily shell out over 100 bucks on a babysitter, plus the wedding gift. It’s a horrendously expensive date night and I’m sorry (and no offense to you and the love of your life), but that’s really asking a lot of your guests with young children,” she wrote.
Brunie says she’s not trying to start a wedding war, but she wants couples to be considerate of their guests who are parents.
“I do think it’s important to recognize that it’s not always easy for parents of very young children to enjoy adult-only weddings when they have to find and pay for a sitter,” she said. “It’s a lot of work! I love attending weddings and just wish sometimes it was more affordable for everyone involved, parents too!”
But at the end of the day, it’s the couple’s call.
What do you think? Have you had a wedding and told parents to leave the kids at home?
Or have you been to a wedding and scrambled to get a sitter?
Summer is the busiest time of the year for weddings! Although weddings are supposed to be blissful times, most wedding problems are quite universal, and can often lead to anxiety. Cheryl Seidel provides fresh and unique solutions to alleviate the stress of wedding etiquette dilemmas. Please see below for some of her tips!
The Activity Shower
Think about the bride’s interests and hobbies and turn it into a memorable afternoon with friends. You may have to go to a local studio or kitchen, but most likely you can have an expert to come to your location.
The Destination Shower
Destination weddings and bachelorette parties have been popular for some time. And now, we’re seeing a new trend- the destination bridal shower. This shower is usually for a small group of the bride’s closest gal pals. Spend the day getting pampered at a spa, live it up shopping and dining in the city, or head to a nearby vineyard for winetasting.
The Jack and Jill Shower
Co-ed showers are becoming increasingly popular. As more men are getting involved in wedding planning, they are also taking an interest in the parties that go along with weddings. Attendees typically bring a gift that will be used by both the bride and groom.
Duties of a Bridesmaid
Purchase the bridesmaid’s dress,
Attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner,
Attend other pre-wedding events (when possible),
Arrive on time for wedding-related events and follow instructions (this means the rehearsal and ceremony),
Help with any children in the wedding party, if asked,
Smile for pictures,
Stand in the receiving line, if there is one, and
Mingle at the reception and act as ambassadors of the bride and groom.
It is nice if they:
Help you with wedding planning,
Help host a bridal shower, and/or
Throw you a bachelorette party.
As a wedding guest, you’re caught up in the moment — the bride’s dress is striking and the flowers are gorgeous. You immediately want to share the excitement you’re feeling with all of your friends on Facebook, but some guidelines and decorum should still be followed even when the couple supports the use of smartphones during the ceremony.
-Don’t photo bomb the vows. Remember there’s probably a professional photographer somewhere behind you trying to do the job the couple has hired him to do.
-Leave the iPad at home. There’s no way you can be inconspicuous with an iPad.
-Don’t block the people behind you. If you know you’ll be snapping away, take a seat in the back or the far aisle.
– Get permission to post. Make sure the couple has a chance to see and approve all images before you post them.
To kick off the new summer trends, one lucky bride-to-be has the chance to win her own customized mosaic dress sculpture, valued at $4,500-$6,500! The sweepstakes began on May 1st, 2015 and will end at 11:59PM on October 1st, 2015. All interested participants with an online wedding registry must sign up at RegistryFinder.com using the contest form. Additional entries will be awarded when the couple’s guests, friends, or family use RegistryFinder.com to search for their wedding registry to purchase a gift. Bonus entries are also given for sharing the contest or following @RegistryFinder on Twitter and Pinterest. Additional entries increase, but do not guarantee, the likelihood of winning. The one lucky winner will be chosen at random at the conclusion of the contest. Shelly will work directly with the winner to create the mosaic dress sculpture of her dreams, which will take between 4 and 6 months to complete.
To sign up for your chance to win or to learn more about the contest, please, visit: http://www.RegistryFinder.com/blog/Dress-Sculpture-Sweepstakes.php
About Cheryl Seidel:
Seidel is a sought after etiquette expert and regular contributor for The Huffington Post and author of the popular Ask Cheryl blog. She helps advise readers with handy tips on how much to spend, when gift giving is appropriate and other would-have-loved-to-know-that-when moments in gift giving, She is also the founder and President of www.RegistryFinder.com, an intuitive search engine that helps gift givers quickly and easily find online registries for weddings, baby showers, graduations and more. Seidel has 22 years of business experience, with concentrations in new product development and consumer advertising and promotion.
For additional information or interview opportunities with Cheryl, please contact Dara@thegabgroup.com
As I get older and celebrate one birthday after another, I always get asked, “So, do you feel older?” I usually don’t–until my aunts and cousins bombard me with questions about marriage and motherhood. “When are you getting married?” “Don’t you think it’s about time for you to have kids?” I always justify my current single status by saying I’m not even dating and would at least need to be in a committed relationship before we start talking engagements and children. During these conversations, I don’t find myself second-guessing where I’m at in life. But as wedding season rolls around each spring and summer, I log on to Facebook or Instagram, and there’s always a new “She Said Yes!” post coming from acquaintances. That is when I find myself fighting off the jealousy that’s brewing within me.
As of late, I’ve noticed that I get asked at least twice a day why “a woman like me” is single. What does that even mean? But the truth is, I have internalized the idea that I don’t have the time or energy to put in a real effort when it comes to building with someone. Let’s be honest, it’s a load of bull, and I really feel it when I have no one to share my successes with. Or when friends ask me to double date, and I’m left to look at the invisible man standing next to me during outings.
I think about the never-ending claim that men make about women being too independent to date. Sometimes I wonder, could it be true? While I am independent, I don’t necessarily give off the vibe that I don’t need someone can’t take care of me and that a man is incapable of doing so. Even if I did, it wouldn’t be true. Will Smith said it best in Hitch:
“Basic principles – no woman wakes up saying ‘God, I hope I don’t get swept off my feet today!’ Now, she might say ‘This is a really bad time for me,’ or something like ‘I just need some space,’ or my personal favorite, ‘I’m really into my career right now.’ You believe that? Neither does she. You know why? Cause she’s lying to you, that’s why. You understand me? Lying! It’s not a bad time for her. She doesn’t need any space. And she may be into her career, but what she’s really saying is ‘Uh, get away from me now,’ or possibly ‘Try harder, stupid,’ but which one is it? Sixty percent of all human communication is nonverbal body language; Thirty percent is your tone, so that means ninety percent of what you’re saying ain’t coming out of your mouth. Of course she’s going to lie to you! She’s a nice person! She doesn’t want to hurt your feelings! What else is she going to say? She doesn’t even know you… yet. Luckily, the fact is that just like the rest of us, even a beautiful woman doesn’t know what she wants until she sees it, and that’s where I come in.”
Yes, I had to quote the entire monologue.
While it isn’t wise to date just because you’re lonely, I find myself yearning for a companion, someone to share my life with. With a handful of friends, relatives, male acquaintances and sorority sisters getting engaged and married, it’s becoming harder for me to ignore my ticking biological clock. I don’t feel older, but I do feel myself going through the beginning stages of a quarter-life crisis. It’s wedding season, and I feel left out. As the last friend in my circle to still be single, I find that the conversation is shifting between us all. While they’re gushing over wedding plans, bridal showers, where they wish to live with their partner after they’re married, and how many children they want, I chime in, but I know I’m further off course than they are. Some days I sit and daydream about this guy who’s supposedly going to find me so that I can one day talk mindlessly about some of the same things.
But I could be in the way of that guy finding me. Coming from a committed relationship of six years and being single for two, I must admit that fear is holding me back. I lost myself during those six years and having worked these past two years to find her again, I’m fearful that committing would mean giving up all I’ve worked for. I’m partly to blame for my own loneliness. I’ve assumed that I need to focus on me and my career, and I need to be established before I can worry about being with someone else. But as I sit at my laptop RSVP’ing for weddings and receptions with no plus-one, I can’t help but wonder, when will time reveal who’s going to sweep me off my feet? And more importantly, will I let them?
Over the weekend, I had the pleasure of witnessing love in true form as my good friend Alicia married her best friend. Over the last two years, I’ve watched her fall in love with Matt over and over again and I’ve listened intently as she told me how he was “different,” how she felt so lucky to have a man who loves her the way he does and how he makes her want to be a better woman because he deserves her at her best.
Single Girl Struggle: How to Let Go And Let Love Flow
We hear about relationships like this or see them in the movies, but to actually witness it and know it’s real is a completely different story. I am so inspired by these two and I wanted to share one lesson that I’ve learned from their love story. So here it goes:
If you’re waiting on love, make sure you’re waiting with an open mind, an open heart and open arms.
The thing that separates Alicia from a lot of the single ladies I know is that she found the faith to date Matt with an open heart, an open mind and the excitement of a high school girl. Remember when relationships were fun and refreshing? When boys gave you butterflies and you were able to let your hair down and enjoy the ride? Think back to the days when things were less complicated, your biological clock wasn’t tick tocking and you weren’t trying to turn every handsome guy into your husband. THAT is how Alicia approached her relationship with Matt. Instead of being stressed out about every detail of his life, examining every piece to see if it fit perfectly into hers- she let go, let love take it’s course and dated him like she’d never been hurt before.
She didn’t rush into a commitment with him, she didn’t twist his arm to make her his girlfriend and she didn’t overthink every move he made. Instead, she trusted the process and enjoyed the ride. She allowed herself time to develop a friendship with him, and whether it was leading to a relationship or not, she had fun.
When you can rewind the time and go back to the days when things weren’t so complicated, when you didn’t feel so rushed and you weren’t pressed to make everyone THE ONE. When you allow fun to lead to friendship and friendship to lead to a relationship, you know you have a love that’s going to last.
Stop stressing over every detail of his life, stop worrying about what your family will think of him and just HAVE FUN. A relationship that’s first established as a fun friendship will last so much longer than one that’s forced.
The great news is, all you have to do it sit back, relax and let love flow into your life. Loosen your grip, have fun and live a little!
Your future hubby is right on the other side of all that stress and worry…let your guard down long enough to let him in and your life will be forever changed.
Here are 5 ways to let go and let love flow:
- Don’t be afraid to go somewhere new to meet someone new
In order to meet new people, you have to actually leave your house. Mr. Right is NOT going to show up at your doorstep. Dating in the same pool over and over again is going to lead to destruction. Broaden your scope, step outside your comfort zone and meet some new men in new places. The change in scenery will be refreshing for you whether you leave with a new boo or not.
- Don’t judge a book by it’s cover
Stop getting so caught up in what he looks like. YES you do need to be attracted to him, but there may be something that catches your eye on date #3 that you didn’t even notice the day you met him. Don’t let his appearance be an automatic no, even if he isn’t your typical “type.” Besides, that type hasn’t been working out to well for you anyway, right?
- Don’t expect everyone to be the one
Don’t be so pressed to find the one that you expect every man you meet to be “him.” Relax a little, enjoy the new company and focus on learning something from the new Mr. That way, even if he isn’t the one, you didn’t waste your time. Besides, just because he isn’t your husband doesn’t mean he can’t be a great friend, potential business partner or just a great guy to know!
- Don’t compare your next to your ex
How can you possibly move on to the next chapter if you keep going back a few pages to compare notes?! Leave your past where it belongs and focus on your bright and exciting future! Besides, your new guy shouldn’t have to suffer the consequences from your ex’s mistakes. Wipe the slate clean and give your new guy have a fair chance.
5. Enjoy the process
Last but certainly not least, HAVE FUN. Dating isn’t meant to be stressful or boring. Enjoy going new places, meeting new people and trying new things. Plus, when you’re having a great time and enjoying life you are SO much for attractive to men! Men love seeing a woman who’s smiling, laughing and enjoying life– let that be YOU!
Wishing you a life full of love and laughter!
Written by Koereyelle, Founder of TheSingleWivesClub™