All Articles Tagged "weddings"

Would You Attend Someone’s Wedding After They Pulled A No-Show At Yours?

February 12th, 2016 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
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Confirming that you will attend someone’s wedding only to turn around and not show up is the ultimate no-no—unless you have a good reason. Just last fall, we reported on a bride who actually sent an invoice to a couple of guests who failed to attend her wedding after they RSVPd. One coworker shared that she cut ties with a friend who didn’t attend her wedding after RSVPing and never reached out to explain why. People really get in their feelings about this subject and honestly, we can understand why. When you’re paying for someone to attend an event, their failure to show up is equivalent to them opening your purse and tossing your dollars out of the window. For this reason, one wife is quite torn. In a Wedding Bee post, the newlywed explained that a friend of her husband and his fiancé failed to attend her wedding last fall after confirming that they would. Now, this particular friend is getting married and he extended an invitation to the woman and her husband. She is still upset about them pulling no-show at her wedding and doesn’t want to attend theirs, but wonders if she’s wrong for feeling this way. The woman explains:

My husband and I were married September 2015.  One of my husband’s good friends from high school, Scott, and his fiance (who we’ve never met) were no-shows. Our wedding was on Sunday, and we didn’t hear anything from him until Monday afternoon, when we were actually in the airport on our way to our honeymoon.  My husband got one text from him, it said something like, “Josh! I’m so sorry we weren’t there yesterday! I got stuck at work and it ruined everything. But the pictures look amazing, congrats man!” Something like that.

Now, I might just be bitter, but I HIGHLY suspect that Scott honestly just forgot about our wedding, and when he saw some pictures on Facebook that night, he remembered. Because why not call or even text my husband the day of to let him know he can’t make it?  You’re really stuck at work so badly that you’re unable to even send a quick text you let someone know you won’t make their wedding?? Again, I may just be bitter, but it seems fishy to me and I don’t buy it. Also, we never got a gift or card from him afterwards.

So, a couple of weeks after our wedding, we get his save the date in the mail.  Their wedding is in July.  And I don’t know if I want to go.  I’m still really annoyed with him.  

I know that it happens, but I’d also be a little salty if someone pulled a no-show at my wedding without a good reason.  And there’s a pretty good chance that I would decline the invitation if they turned around and invited me to their wedding shortly after, but that’s just me. What would you do in a situation like this?

 

How Did You Spend The Night Before Your Wedding?

February 11th, 2016 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
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Wedding planning is comprised of so many moving pieces that require your attention that it takes a minute before you actually slow down long enough to think about small details like when to leave for your honeymoon and where you’ll spend the night before your wedding.

For the longest time, romantic comedies led me to believe that your last night as an unmarried woman should be spent swinging from the chandeliers or wilding out at somebody’s strip club; however, the closer I get to “I do,” the more that sounds like a terrible idea. For one, I imagine that a night with too much excitement would leave most brides exhausted on their wedding days. Secondly, no one wants to be hung over on what’s considered to be one of the most important days of their lives.

Of course, this also raises the question of who you should spend the night before your wedding with. Do you spend it with your bridesmaids? Your mom? Is it odd to spend it with your future husband? I know that some will advise spending the night apart from your significant other to build anticipation and give the both of you alone time to reflect.

When I think of the night before my wedding day, I can see myself doing one of four things: running around like a madwoman finalizing last-minute details, having a sleepover with my girlfriends, hanging out with my parents and brother, or enjoying a calm and quiet evening watching Netflix with my fiancé. However, there’s a part of me that can’t help but feel like I should be doing something more extravagant that will make the night more memorable.

Ladies, we’d love to hear from you. How did you, or how do you plan to, spend the night before your wedding? Is there anything that you wish you would have done differently? Why?

Ladies, Here Are The Best And Worst Cities To Get Married

February 8th, 2016 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
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I think most brides can agree that planning a wedding is a full-time job, but according to this WalletHub study, some ladies face greater hurdles than others—and it’s all related to the city in which they choose to say “I do.” After doing extensive research, WalletHub’s team of financial analysts compiled a list of the best and worst cities to get married based on factors such as average wedding cost, wedding facilities, services, activities, and attractions.

According to the study, some of the best cities to get married are:

  1. Orlando, Florida
  2. Las Vegas, Nevada
  3. Atlanta, Georgia
  4. Tampa, Florida
  5. Springfield, Missouri
  6. Cincinnati, Ohio
  7. Salt Lake City Utah
  8. Miami, Florida
  9. Boise, Idaho
  10. Tucson, Arizona

The top ten worst cities to get married include:

  1. Boston, Massachusets
  2. Fremont, California
  3. Oxnard, California
  4. Jersey City, New Jersey
  5. Fontana, California
  6. Anchorage, Arkansas
  7. Worchester, Massachusets
  8. Newark, New Jersey
  9. Yonkers, New York
  10. Morena Valley, California

Springfield, Missouri was found to have the lowest average wedding cost, followed by El Paso, Texas and Chattanooga, Tennessee. San Jose, California had the highest average wedding cost, followed by Oxnard, California and Honolulu, Hawaii.

WalletHub

WalletHub

As far as bridal shops go, Salt Lake City, Utah and Cincinnati, Ohio had the most per capita, while Glendale, Arizona and Newark, New Jersey were said to have the least.

WalletHub

WalletHub

Have you tied the knot in any of the aforementioned cities? We’d love to hear about your experiences.

Follow Jazmine on Twitter @JazmineDenise

 

Brides, This Is How You Get Around Writing Hundreds Of Thank-You Notes By Hand

February 5th, 2016 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
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Corbis Images

Corbis Images

Planning a wedding is like running a marathon. A very long, seemingly never-ending marathon. After all of the coordinating, the budgeting, and the difficult decisions you’ve had to make, the wedding finally arrives, and you think “Great, I finally have a moment to breathe!” Except, you’re kind of wrong. Sure, you’ll have the honeymoon to lay back and kick it with Bae, but as soon as you return, you’re faced with the massive task of sending thank-you notes to your guests. Traditionally speaking, thank-you notes—especially for weddings–should be handwritten, and etiquette says that they should be mailed out within three months of the wedding. According to a 2015 report from The Knot, the average wedding has 136 guests. So yeah, you get the point.

Thankfully, it doesn’t have to be this way. There’s now a way to send all of your guests personalized thank-you notes without breaking the bank or your hand. Newly launched interactive program ThankView makes it simple for brides and grooms to send personalized video cards to their loved ones in minutes.

So how does it work?

1. Choose your ThankView card design – Select your video’s “card” design. Choose from dozens of animated themes and customize it with photos, dates, and colors.

2. Upload your recipients – Enter in your recipient’s name & email address, and send their ThankView on its way. Have multiple ThankViews to send out? Upload an Excel sheet of all your contacts and ThankView will save them into your contacts folder for future use.

3. Start recording – Activate your camera, whether on your computer or your cell phone and start recording your first ThankView.

4. Send your ThankView – After previewing your video, send your ThankView on its way.

5. Track your ThankView – ThankView allows you to track your video card in real time, from when it was delivered, to when it was viewed.

ThankView was founded by JD Beebe, who married the love of his life last year. Once the wedding was done, he and his new wife were faced with the daunting task of hand writing thank-you notes, and well, the wheels in his mind began to turn.

“After starting my wedding planning process, I looked for ways to do things sensibly and sincerely. With my fiance and I having always loved to send videos but unable to find a service that did so for thank you’s, we set out to build ThankView,” Beebe said.

ThankView can be used for all occassions—not just weddings. And right now, customers can send their first five ThankViews for free. Afterward, they have the option to choose from the following packages.

  • Basic Package: 25 ThankViews for $20

  • Standard Package: 50 ThankViews for $35

  • Signature Package: 100 ThankViews for $55

  • Deluxe Package: 200 ThankViews for $95

  • Best Value: 400 ThankViews for $175

Considering all that goes into planning the wedding, thank-you video cards is a great option to have.

How To Fire A Bridesmaid With Minimal Drama

February 1st, 2016 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
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Corbis Images

Corbis Images

You thought that she was the one. As soon as you got engaged, you knew that she would be a part of your loyal girl squad of bridesmaids. You put together a cute little bridesmaid proposal, and she happily accepted. But now, you’re having second thoughts.Though you tried to be understanding, her Debbie Downer attitude is funking up the groove and you fear that she might be out to ruin one of the most important days of your life. Your other bridesmaids have already had enough of her and you’ve decided that you’re not about to allow one bad apple to spoil the bunch. So you’ve made up your mind to give her the boot, but you’re hoping to do so with as little drama as possible. Here’s how:

Act soon

Although you’re probably dreading the conversation, it’s best to have it sooner than later. Don’t wait until dresses have been purchased and flights have been booked to tell her that she’s out—unless you’re prepared to reimburse her for the money she has already invested.

Do it in person

While it’s probably much easier to send an email or text message, if she lives close to you, the classy thing to do would be to let her know in person. And if she doesn’t live nearby, pick up the phone. Things tend to come across more harshly when sent electronically—and you know people love to get buck when they’re able to hide behind their cell phones and computers.

Do it alone

You don’t want her to feel as if you and your crew are ganging up on her, so it’s best to keep this conversation between the two of you. Although having your maid of honor present for moral support sounds like a good idea, it’s not. And definitely don’t have one of your other bridesmaids deliver the news for you.

Be kind

Situations like this should be handled with care. It’s bad enough that she’s being booted from your bridal party, at least be nice about it. And as Rebecca Stokes explained in her 2014 article for The Stir, “Nine times out of 10, these things can be solved with good manners.”

Be direct

The best way to kick off this conversation is to just get straight to the point. “Unfortunately, I’m going to have to ask you to step down as a bridesmaid. I’m very sorry.” You’re free to provide an explanation if you feel compelled to do so, or if she asks for one, but don’t beat around the bush.

Extend the olive branch

If she hasn’t been behaving like a complete lunatic and you still consider her to be a good friend, let her know that you would still love for her to be a guest on your big day. Tell her that you’re sorry the whole bridal party thing didn’t work out, but that it has nothing to do with how you feel about her.

Have you ever had to fire a bridesmaid? Have you ever been let go from someone’s bridal party? Tell us about it below.

Follow Jazmine on Twitter @JazmineDenise

The Road To The Altar: What’s With Random People Asking For Wedding Invitations?

January 29th, 2016 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
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The part of wedding planning that kept me up at night the most so far has been the guest list. Hosting a wedding that I can afford, and one that does not leave me and my fiancé to begin our union in debt is extremely important to me. And of course, the more people you invite, the more expensive your wedding gets. I have a huge family as does my fiancé, so nailing down a guest list that fits our budget and includes all of our relatives was a surprisingly challenging task. And honestly, it left little room for friends—and even less for random associates. There were times when I felt pretty bad about who I wasn’t able to invite; however, after getting a swift kick in the pants from my no-nonsense mama, I put the dramatics aside and did what I needed to do to finalize my count.

Considering how much thought and energy I put into completing this list, I’m particularly irritated by random people who tactlessly come out of their faces and demand invitations. It’s almost as if they believe that they will be able to shame me into inviting them by putting me on the spot. Ironically, the culprit is almost always a person with whom I barely have a relationship. Take one of the brothers who attends my church for instance. Every time I see him, he grips my shoulder with one of his massive hands and tells me that I should make sure he gets his invitation. And every time, I’m tempted to respond with words that would surely have him–and any other members who may be standing nearby at the time—looking at me funny. At 40 years old, I would think that this grown man would know better than to invite himself to people’s events. And sure, I could say that guys don’t really trouble themselves with the ins and outs of etiquette, but I’ve encountered a few women who have been just as tactless.

Another young lady who attends my church went as far as to comment on multiple social media posts saying that she hopes she’s invited to the wedding. Each time, I’m left flustered because I’m never sure of how to respond. She really is a sweet girl, and I never want to embarrass her by leaving her hanging by ignoring her comment. But at the same time, how on earth as I supposed to respond to a comment like that? And unfortunately, this is only the tip of the iceberg.

So far, I’ve been able to wiggle my way out of these extremely awkward situations, but I would love to know the logic behind why people feel like it’s okay to do things like this. Out of all of the women I know who have gotten married, never have I placed a single one of them an awkward position by asking whether or not I made the guest list. If the invitation came in the mail, great. But if it didn’t, I was okay with that too.

Have you ever found yourself dealing with people like this? How did you handle them?

How To Turn Down A Bridesmaid Proposal Without Losing A Friend

January 22nd, 2016 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
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Shutterstock

It’s one of the most exciting times in her life: she’s getting married. And not only does she want you to be present, but she wants you to play a role in the big day as one of her bridesmaids. While you’re flattered that she chose you, to be frank, you’re really not trying to be in her wedding. Perhaps your money is funny, or you’re just overwhelmed by everything that is going on in your life right now. Maybe you’ve had negative experiences and aren’t trying to go back down that road, or it could just be that you’re not here for what being a bridesmaid entails. Maybe y’all aren’t even that close. Whatever the reason, you’ve decided that you’re going to turn down her offer, only you’re not exactly sure how. You value the relationship that you have with her and don’t want to hurt her feelings. Here’s how you can decline the offer without ruining your friendship.

Avoid lying

If you have a no bridesmaid policy, be honest. Don’t blame it on something like being broke or too busy if that’s really not the case. Using a lie to wiggle out of this situation means that you’ll have to put in work later to keep up appearances. Imagine how shady you’ll look if you tell her you can’t be in her wedding because you’re too busy and then you turn around and spend two weeks in Paris or she sees you popping up at every social event from now until her wedding. Also, lying and using low funds as an excuse places you in an awkward position if she offers to pay your way. Trust, honesty is the best policy.

Offer to assist in another way

Maybe your schedule won’t allow you to be a bridesmaid but you’re able to help with some wedding-related tasks like keeping track of the guest list or addressing envelopes. If this is the case, let her know by telling her that your responsibilities simply won’t allow for you to give her the attention that she deserves as a bride, but you’re willing to pitch in where you can. However, you should be specific about what you can do and please make sure that you actually have the time and resources to complete the tasks that you’ve offered to take care of. Offering to lick and stamp 200 envelopes may sound like a good idea 7 or 8 months prior to the time you actually have to complete these tasks, but we all know how that goes, so be realistic.

Spit it out

Girl, please don’t wait until this woman adds you to the bridesmaid email thread or starts asking for your opinion on dress styles before you let her know that you won’t be participating. Give her as much time as possible to ask someone else to take your spot. The longer you wait, the shadier you’ll appear.

Let her know you’re still excited about the big day

Make it clear that you still want to be a guest at the wedding even though you won’t actually be in the wedding. Listen to her vent about how her crazy family is giving her a hard time or how she is struggling to nail down a venue. Also, offer advice where possible. Show her that you’re still in her corner.

Follow Jazmine on Twitter @JazmineDenise

3 Free Wedding Planning Resources That Are Giving Me So Much Life

January 21st, 2016 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
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Shutterstock

When I first got engaged, I was so intimidated by wedding planning. I hadn’t the slightest clue of where to begin. I questioned whether or not I’d be able to pull off such a large event and frequently entertained the idea of going for a more intimate, nontraditional ceremony. After feeling as if I was stumbling through the dark for a few months, I eventually found my groove thanks to some free and helpful resources that I discovered along the way.

weddingbee.com

weddingbee.com

WeddingBee forums

I’ve been engaged for months and I haven’t purchased a single bridal magazine. From day one, I knew that gawking at dresses, venues and jewelry  that were not within my budget would make things difficult. I wanted realistic planning advice from real brides—not celebrity wedding planners who have astronomical budgets to work with. WeddingBee has helped me tremendously on this journey. Not only does it act as some sort of magical treasure trove filled with magical fairy godmothers who constantly spew wedding planning advice, but it’s an extremely supportive community. In the beginning, there were many nights where I would lie awake staring at the ceiling while worrying about silly things that I could never share with people I knew in real life—not only because they’d think that I was crazy, but also because they were probably asleep. On these nights, I’d let out my feelings in a WeddingBee post and within minutes, I’d get responses from all of these lovely women who have been or were going through similar situations.

weddingwire.com

weddingwire.com

WeddingWire

I tested out a bunch of different wedding apps and websites but in the end, I found many of them to be useless. It all comes down to preference, but in my opinion, some are just more user-friendly than others. With WeddingWire, I was able to easily build and make changes to my guest list while on the go. I was also able to create an easy-to-use seating chart from their site. Lastly, I created a beautiful wedding website with functional RSVP capabilities free of charge. I purchased a $0.99 personalized domain from GoDaddy and my site was up and running in minutes. I was also thrilled to learn that all WeddingWire wedding websites have password protection capabilities.

Screen Shot 2016-01-21 at 2.29.02 PM

WeddingHappy or WedHappy

The WedHappy app has done an awesome job of keeping me on schedule with vendor payments and other time-sensitive matters. The preprogrammed but customizable checklist feature establishes a due date for each task based on your wedding date. On the day that a task is due, you’ll receive an alert reminding you to complete that task. Once completed, you’ll be able to check that particular task off of the list. I also love the budget feature, which helps to monitor spending and makes it clear how much wiggle room you have left in your budget.

What are some of your favorite wedding planning apps and websites?

Follow Jazmine on Twitter @JazmineDenise

My Fiancé Is Only Letting Me Invite 10 People To Our Wedding

January 20th, 2016 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
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One of the most stressful tasks you’ll find on a bride’s checklist is nailing down the guest list because she’ll often feel torn between the list she wants and the list that’s realistic. Sometimes she’s limited by her budget and sometimes it’s the available space at the venue. But what would you do if your fiancé was the one setting the limit? One 26-year-old bride is faced with this very situation. The young woman, who we’ll call “Taylor,” was shocked to learn that her fiancé, “Will,” only expects her to invite ten guests to their destination wedding, so she turned to Reddit for advice.

According to Taylor, they’re planning for a destination wedding because they both work abroad. Although they agreed that they would have a small ceremony, it seems that they have drastically different ideas of what small actually looks like.

“Since he has a small family and fewer friends, I’d always known and agreed that it would be a small wedding. But I didn’t know that our definitions of ‘small’ were so different,” Taylor explains. “I have a very big family (if it were up to my mom, she would probably invite 80-100 extended family members). But in terms of close family, there would be nine that I would absolutely have to invite, which would leave me with one spot for a friend. Even if he were willing to budge and up the number to 15, I would still have a ton of friends who would be very upset if they did not get invites.”

Will’s reason for cutting down the list is that he doesn’t want Taylor to have more guests than he does out of fear of things appearing imbalanced.

“I know that wedding planning is generally stressful on engaged couples, and really don’t want this to put unnecessary stress on us right from the get-go. On the other hand, I don’t want to disappoint my family and friends.”

Oh, and money is not the issue. According to Taylor, they have $35,000 saved for the wedding.

How would you handle this?

Should Regular Folks Keep Their Marriages On The Hush Like J Cole?

January 19th, 2016 - By Veronica Wells
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For months, rumors have been swirling about J Cole and his engagement to longtime girlfriend Melissa Heholt. And then they died down, leaving all of his fans and fanatics with a little bit of hope that he was still, technically, on the market.

But yesterday, we learned that that is not the case.

While Cole and director Ryan Cooler were celebrating Dr. King’s dream at the MLKNow event, many women had theirs crushed.

In case you missed the moment, you can watch it in the video above where Coogler asked the rapper how being married has changed him.

Wait, what?! The last we heard, he was questionably engaged. And now we learn that he’s married?

The news left our heads spinning trying to catch up.

Once I let it soak in, the whole thing made sense. The only thing we’ve known for certain about J Cole’s relationship is that he’s been in one from the time he was in college. And that’s it. Mind you, there are pages and pages of speculation about their relationship and his cheating on Lipstick Alley; but the facts are they met in college. Period.

For someone whose relationship will be viewed under a microscope, speculated and whispered about, the notion of keeping it secret seems cautious, protective, smart. Not only do people assume most celebrity men can’t be faithful, there are plenty of people who will root for public relationships to fail.

And that brings me to the regular folk. Are there benefits to keeping your wedding and your marriage low key? Certainly.

And here are just a few.

Maintains its sanctity 

There’s the wedding and then there’s the marriage. And more often than not, the preparation and planning for a wedding becomes such a monster that the marriage, the entire purpose of the wedding, seems to take a backseat. When you marry secretly, whether you elope or keep the guest list to a minimum, you don’t have to consider the opinions, wishes and critiques of others.

Saves money 

If people don’t know you’re getting married, if there are no social media announcements, there will be fewer people, random people, asking for invitations, attempting to bring cousins you’ve never met who will be there talking about the food you so painstakingly selected and paid for.

Build quietly

I don’t want to make a habit out of agreeing with Future. But even a broken clock is right twice a day. And though the rapper’s argument was a bit illogical, he said that he wanted to marry Ciara privately, so that when the tabloids learned about their nuptials, they would have made it past the newlywed stage. Now, considering the fact that Future and Ciara literally promoted their relationship, I’m going to call B.S. But for those who haven’t appeared on red carpets, tattooed the other’s initial or publicly referred to their partner as royalty, then the idea of doing the grunt work out of the public eye might not be such a bad idea. Depending on who you ask, the first year as a married couple can either be fun and exciting or a shock to the system. But everyone agrees that it is an adjustment. While you’re transitioning into the role you plan to hold for the rest of your life, it might be nice to do so without the prying eyes of others.

Keeps your business your own 

When we’re in love, we have a tendency to want to declare it. If you’ve seen Mean Girls, you know about word vomit. You might want to keep certain details or the entire relationship to yourself but as you’re speaking, things just keep flying out. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But it also invites wandering eyes into one of your most private, most intimate relationships. As joyous and celebratory as weddings can be, they can be just as special if they’re shared between the two people who will ultimately have to work to keep the union strong.