All Articles Tagged "wedding planning"

Signs You’re Suffering From More Than Just Cold Feet

August 13th, 2013 - By Ashley Page
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It’s not uncommon for the bride and groom-to-be to be overwhelmed by feelings of doubt before the big day. This is often known as cold feet, and while not everyone suffers from it, there are plenty of people who do. However, in some cases, the hesitation to tie the knot can mean much more than just cold feet. It might signify that you really aren’t ready. Here are a few signs something more serious is going on.

Must Dos Before You Say I Do

June 27th, 2013 - By Ashley Page
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Wedding planning is a pretty lengthy process with all sorts of important details that must be considered and even more must do’s. While you’ll need to find a caterer for your wedding, as well as a venue, and nominate bridesmaids, there’s a lot more that must be considered and figured out before the big day. Because even though you’re planning for a ceremony, you’ll also need to be planning for a lifetime. Here are 14 things you should do before the wedding in order to make your future with your new husband amazing.

The Wedding That Keeps On Giving: How To Recycle Your Decorations

June 26th, 2013 - By Julia Austin
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Your wedding should come with zero guilt. But, since we know this is impossible because your bridesmaids wanted a different colored dress, your mom still hasn’t warmed to the location, and some people just couldn’t be invited, at least do what you can to feel great after your big day and make use of all the knick knacks/decorations/essentials leftover—or make sure somebody else does.

Newly Engaged? Resources To Keep Your Wedding On Track And On Budget

June 6th, 2013 - By Tanvier Peart
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Congratulations on your engagement! Taking the next step in your relationship is a big commitment that typically comes with a celebration full of family and friends. If he just put a ring on it and people are already asking you when’s the big day, tell them to chill out, and take all the time you need to sort things out.

Planning a wedding regardless of size can be quite frustrating and overwhelming. There are thousands upon thousands of books, planners and companies to consider when trying to figure out your special day. Can you say too much dot com?

Should you be on the journey to your “I do,” here are some resources to help keep you on track with planning and your budget.

Planning Your Wedding: What to Do When Time Is Running Out

June 3rd, 2013 - By Candace Smith
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The peak of wedding season is in full effect and if you are married, are thinking about getting married, or have participated in a wedding, you know just how stressful and insane preparing for a wedding can get. But while the clock ticks away, there is hope! Husband and wife Sojourner and Milo Auguste are the wedding planning duo behind Erganic Design. If you are seeking something different from the same old wedding planner schemes, read on to gather tips on how to manage the wedding of your dreams in a short amount of time, on a budget.

Bridezillas And Hating Bridesmaids: 10 Things You Shouldn’t Say Or Do When You’re Planning Or Participating In A Wedding

April 2nd, 2013 - By Clarke Gail Baines
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I know I’m not the only person who felt enormously stressed by simply being asked to be a bridesmaid in a wedding. The whole opportunity to support my loved one was nice, but I saw a side of folks, including other bridesmaids and the bride, that I wasn’t too crazy about. If you are the one planning a wedding or just trying to take part in one to make somebody else happy, please don’t be the person to do the following:

"money dress pf"

Don’t Assume People Are Balling Out Of Control

You might be rolling in dough while preparing for your big day, or as the maid of honor, you might want the bridesmaids to put in big dollars for getaways, spa sessions, and unique ways to celebrate bridal showers and bachelorette parties, but always remember that times are hard. With people having to buy dresses, gifts, pay for travel expenses and more, folks need to be reasonable in what they expect from wedding parties and family, unless you just want to keep things very small. But trust, if people can’t afford certain expenses, I’m sure they’ll let you know reeeeeeeeal quick.

14 Things You’ll Regret Not Having At Your Wedding

March 20th, 2013 - By Julia Austin
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From big things like a color scheme to little things like alcohol labels, there are so many unexpected things that can make or break a wedding—or at the very least, leave you regretting how you handled that aspect instead of enjoying your big day, like you should be! Be sure to have these things (both tangible and theoretical) at your wedding.

Social Media At Your Wedding: What’s Cute And What’s Cheap?

March 8th, 2013 - By Julia Austin
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When two people get engaged, they want to scream it from the rooftop! And that’s okay, because from the rooftop may be only your next-door neighbors will hear you. But when it comes to weddings, when does sharing become over sharing? With social media having an increased presence in our most intimate and monumental of events, when does it enhance “the big day”, and when does it just cheapen it?

Trying To Have Your (Wedding) Cake And Eat It Too: There Is No Such Thing As Getting Married Now And Throwing A Wedding Later

December 18th, 2012 - By Alissa Henry
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"Black couple cutting wedding cake"

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“So, after you’ve been married for a year, you’re going to have a wedding?”

When my friend suggested that she and her fiancé were going to exchange vows in her pastor’s office then have a “big wedding” the following year, I had to make sure I heard that correctly.

Apparently, she didn’t see anything ridiculous about the prospect of getting legally married now, then planning the ceremony where they would get fake married later.

Yes, “fake married”.

A wedding is a ceremony in which two people are united in marriage. If those two people unite in a courthouse, an office, a church, a backyard, Times Square, mid-air, Taco Bell, or the TJ Maxx where they met, then they just had their wedding. Whether they exchanged vows in front of a judge, and an Elvis impersonator or three thousand of their closest friends, that was their wedding. Anything after that is a vow renewal ceremony, a blessing, or an elaborate costume party.

I liken the idea that you can get married now and have a wedding later to the idea that you can turn 21 now but have a 21st birthday again next year. At that point, it’s not your 21st birthday it’s your 22nd. Why would anyone wish you a happy 21st birthday when you’re 22?

Apparently, this “get married now, wedding later” happens more than I think. I recently read about Amber Rose and Wiz Khalifa’s decision to get married now before their baby comes, but have a “traditional wedding ceremony” later. What’s traditional about not actually getting married at your wedding? And considering they’re already living together and have a child on the way, is tradition really that important to them anyway?

Of course, there are all sorts of reasons why couples say they want to get married now and have a wedding later: finances, military deployment, undesirable seasons for a wedding, a family member on his or her deathbed, etc. Still, if a couple gets married now then they won’t be getting married at their “big wedding later” because, unless you get divorced, you can only get married once. A wedding is a joining together of two people. How can you join what is already joined? How can the father of the “bride” give her away if she is already someone’s wife? How can you commit your life to someone you’ve already committed your life to? It’s not possible.

This isn’t to say I’m against the idea of having a wedding now and a reception later. In those instances, the couple isn’t trying to hide the fact that they’re already married. And they’re certainly not pretending to get married again. A reception is an optional post-wedding party and many couples elope or have a small, private ceremony then throw a big bash to celebrate their union. For these receptions, couples can still register for gifts, send out fancy invitations and even wear a wedding dress and tux. That still sounds like a thinly-veiled gift grab, but it definitely makes more sense than having two ceremonies, one legal and one for show.

And speaking of “show”, maybe that’s the problem. The prevalence of wedding planning shows and televised reality-show-special weddings have a legion of women thinking that they’re not a bride unless they’ve got a ball gown, fifteen bridesmaids, three-tiered cake, ice sculpture, six-thousand dollar Christian Louboutin Daffodile Strass shoes and enough flowers to fill the White House lawn. That, to them, is a “real wedding” and only the whole nine yards will make them feel that they’re a “real bride”. However, it truly doesn’t take all that. If you’re getting married, you’re a bride. If you’re already married, no matter how lavish the ceremony, you’re a wife in a wedding dress. I’m all about the dream wedding, but I don’t think getting fake married is the way to live out that childhood fantasy.

Not surprisingly, plenty of couples that say get married now and say they’ll have a wedding later end up never going through with it. That’s likely because, once they get into the throes of planning, they realize it’s a lot of money and hassle to do something they’ve essentially already done. Wedding planning is taxing – especially when trying to plan your dream wedding – and I imagine that if a couple is already married then that takes away a lot of their motivation to plan an expensive spectacle.

Also, it’s understandably difficult to get others onboard for Wedding 2.0. Few would shell out beaucoup money for a bridesmaid’s dress, plan a bridal shower, throw a bachelor party or fly across country for a friend’s wedding who is already married. Of course, oftentimes the couple doesn’t tell their friends and family that they’re ceremony isn’t real. In those cases, I wonder why the couple would even want their friends and family there if they were okay with lying to them about being married already.

Maybe I’m old school and “getting married now and having a wedding later” is the new thing to do. To each his own. As for the friend I told you about earlier, I got a Facebook message from her several months after she tied the knot in her pastor’s office: “We decided not to have a wedding next year. Maybe the year after.” I didn’t even respond.

What do you think about you (or one of your friends) getting married now and having a wedding later? For those who have successfully gone through with the get married now and have a wedding later, when is the anniversary? Do you celebrate the day you were legally married or the day you had the big ceremony? Would you be ticked if your friend lied to you about already being married while she was planning her wedding?

 Follow Alissa on Twitter @AlissaInPink or check out her blog This Cannot Be My Life

 Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

A Wedding Isn’t “Her” Day, It’s “Their” Day. Right?

November 7th, 2012 - By Alissa Henry
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"Unhappy Bride"

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When my friend Lauren was planning her wedding, her mom was doing the most.

She lived three hours away in Lauren’s hometown but you would have thought she was right next door considering how much input she had into Lauren’s wedding. From insisting they invite her entire 400-person church congregation to the wedding (and feed them) to shutting down the option of having a bridal shower in the city where Lauren and her fiancé live, I fully understood why Lauren didn’t move back to her hometown after college.

When she went wedding dress shopping with her mom and bridesmaids, her mom made the bridesmaids leave the room so as not to see Lauren in her wedding dress. Clearly, her mom took that silly groom-cant-see-the-bride-before-the-wedding superstition a little too far. But it was Lauren’s mom and she was excited, so I didn’t think much of it – until I heard her refer to the wedding as “Lauren’s Big Day” and told her future-son-in-law that all he had to do was show up at the ceremony. Did I mention he and Lauren were paying for their own wedding?

I couldn’t believe her mom took it there and I wondered, are we still doing that?

Are we still expecting the groom to not be involved in wedding planning at all? I sincerely hope not. It’s not just the “Bride’s Big Day”, it’s his day too. There are two people exchanging vows, so there should be two people determining how the day goes. When the groom is making suggestions the response from the bride (nor her mom) shouldn’t be: “We got this. Goodbye.”

On the flip side, the guy should want to be involved with the wedding planning. Just yesterday on this site, we posted a promo of “Marrying The Game” which is a new reality show special showcasing rapper Jayceon Taylor’s aka “The Game’s” wedding to his fiancé Tiffney Cambridge. In the promo, Tiffney is visibly upset because The Game isn’t really helping her plan their wedding and in fact he scheduled a trip to France while she is in the middle of preparing. Some women might prefer the groom to be nothing but a blank check writer while she’s planning, but it’s a red flag if the guy doesn’t want to be involved at all.

Why? Because it’s not even about the wedding planning really. Most of those details people freak out about during the planning, they don’t even remember 15 minutes into the honeymoon anyway. It’s more than about knowing you both gave equal input and came to an agreement on the color scheme. Planning nuptials together is a sort of last-ditch opportunity for couples to observe the level of respect, ease of communication, and willingness to compromise that will definitely be necessary for a solid marriage. If a couple can’t get along when planning their wedding, then that’s probably a wedding that should not happen.

Stephen Fabick, a psychologist who specializes in conflict resolution told CNN:

A wedding is a healthy way of making a public commitment to each other and acknowledging that you’re part of a web of family and friends that helps to nourish the relationship… sometimes, the extensive planning of a costly wedding can expose a couple’s differences in compatibility, values or beliefs. Surviving the task of planning a wedding together and ultimately living together for years and years means being able to support each other during basic decisions.

Of course, there are going to be some things that the groom just flat out isn’t interested in. Or things that the bride wants to keep a surprise from the groom. But overall, the planning should be a joint effort.

The best way to facilitate this from the outset is for the couple to sit down together and the bride can make a short list of 5 things that are important to her and five things that aren’t and the groom can do the same things with things that are important to him and things that aren’t. That way, the bride isn’t running around planning her “fairytale wedding” without a clue what her future husband wants or is interested in helping with.

The truth is, planning a wedding together that both individuals will enjoy will probably make at least the first year of married life much easier.  I’m not saying my friend Lauren or Tiffney and The Gamecan’t have a happy marriage. Plenty of successful marriages have begun with a groom whose sole responsibility was to fit into his tuxedo on the day of the wedding. I am suggesting however, that we do away with this whole “this is the Bride’s Big Day” silliness and embrace the fact that at its core, a wedding is the beginning of a marriage and therefore a Big Day for both of the people involved. Right?

Do you think weddings are too often viewed as the Bride’s Day?

Follow Alissa on Twitter @AlissaInPink or check out her blog This Cannot Be My Life

*Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

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