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I sometimes have to hold in my giggle when I hear my pastor going off over the pulpit about certain marital problems that are usually pretty apparent well before a couple says “I do.” It’s not that I find someone else’s marital plight humorous, but what I do find funny is how foolish we can be as women sometimes. Many of us are in a rush to race a man down the aisle or prove that we are “wife material” without ever stopping to ask ourselves if the guy that we are praying, hoping, and wishing will pop the question is husband material himself.

I always used to hear more experienced women say, “Child, you better choose carefully, because what you want at 20 ain’t what you want at 30 and what you want at 30 damn sure ain’t gonna be what you want at 40!” Always bewildered by this statement I’d think to myself, “Gosh, lasting marriages are a thing of the past, I guess.” As I began to mature though, I began to realize that what they were really implying was that when you are accepting male callers with the aspiration of one day jumping the broom, you should accept applications carefully. But, how? Where’s the blueprint for choosing a spouse? Call me old-fashioned, but when troubled by this question I often reference the Bible. Whether you believe in God or not, it sets some pretty standard precedents for what a good husband potentially looks like. In a perfect world, every male would be born with instincts that automatically instruct him on how to be a good husband (especially considering the ridiculous male to female ratio on this planet). But, since we don’t live in a world anywhere near perfect, you might want to check out some of these red flags to see whether or not your guy is marriage material before he pops the big question in the future.

Necolebitchie.com

I really don’t know who’s the bigger character in Chad and Evelyn’s relationship. Ochocinco has calmed down a bit since moving to the New England Patriots while Evelyn’s behavior on “Basketball Wives” provides enough entertainment for the both of them. But just when I thought Chad might be growing out of his attention-seeking ways, Evelyn reveals this: he wants to walk down the aisle at their wedding while she waits for him at the alter. And (surprise! or not) she’s sort of on board with it.

“I’ve honestly been giving it some thought,” she admitted to Sister 2 Sister. “I don’t want my wedding to be your typical wedding. At the same time, that’s really not something I’m willing to give up. I think he’s a big personality, and I feel like Chad wants—we all want —our moment. So, I’m having my wedding planner figure out something for him, so he can have his entrance and his moment.”

Of course that’s exactly what Chad wants to hear.

“I do everything odd,” he told the mag. “I think it’d be refreshing to do something different to have her wait at the altar for me ‘cause everyone else’s marriage failed doing it the traditional way.”

I agree with the fact that a wedding day shouldn’t be all about the bride, which is the typical matrimonial sentiment, but this seems like one more example of Evelyn bending to please Chad, like that whole open relationship discussion they had on her show a few weeks ago. Evelyn’s clearing up the confusion though, saying she’s not giving Chad a pass to creep.

“We don’t have an open relationship. What I was saying in that conversation is that until you live my lifestyle in my circle you don’t really understand what goes on,” she said. “I’m going to honor my marriage ‘til death, but who’s to say what’s going to happen 20 years from now. I don’t know that. There are so many things thrown at the both of us. How do I know? I’m human. How do I know one day I’m not going to f*** up? I’m not perfect, and we live this lifestyle and things get thrown at you all the time, and I’m not going into the marriage thinking we’re just going to be perfect. That was the whole point of that.”

I’m still trying to figure out the point of Chad walking down the aisle but I guess to each his own. Would you wait for your man at the alter?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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