Dear Damon,

I just was reading the Ask a Very Smart Brotha section today and one of the questions was, I have been in a relationship for two years and my boyfriend still hasn’t proposed. I’m in the same situation.

Editor’s Note: Damon suggested another reader on Facebook answer the three following questions, before he could provide an answer to her query. This reader has also answered the same three questions.

To answer the questions Damon asked:

1. How old are you two? I just turned 28, he is 27.
2. Does he know you want to get married? Yes I’ve told him many times. He has said he’s just not ready for that step yet. When I brought it up back in November he said he would rather let me walk away then be forced into marriage. He doesn’t want to feel forced.
3. Why do you want to get married? I have known he’s the one for a while. I think he’ll be a wonderful husband and father, he’s my best friend and we have fun together. On top of that he’s smart, ambitious, romantic, he’s supportive, thoughtful and a wonderful person overall. I want to marry him because I love him and I’m ready to be married, I’m ready to have a family soon and I want it with him. He’s trying to get into grad school right now while working full-time, he’s also been engaged once before when he was younger and had his heart broken. He told me from the beginning he was very slow and initially he wanted to date for three years…I didn’t really take that to heart in the beginning. I knew him for an entire year before we were officially together, and our two year anniversary of “officially” being a couple is coming up this May.

I’m getting to the point that I’m willing to walk away if it’s not going to happen. I can’t be with someone that still feels the need to question if I’m going to be in his future or not..after two years. I think you should know if this person is worth it to go all in and give up all other options or not. He loves me unconditionally, he treats me like a queen but at this point I need a real commitment and just dating isn’t enough. Any thoughts?

Sincerely,
Tammy

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