Source: emuleday.com

If you are wearing pearls and have been known to clutch them often because you think that discussions of sex should only happen in the bedroom, the following post is not for you. But if you are down for an open and frank discussion about sexuality, by all means, continue reading below.

From Jezebel:

“In 2001, Glamour magazine assigned entertainment journalist Margeaux Rawson to interview the four Queens of Comedy — Adele Givens, Miss Laura Hayes, Mo’Nique and Sommore — about sex. The specific assignment was to uncover the “10 Commandments of Sex,” as decried by the Queens. Armed with all the buffalo wings and bottles of Veuve Clicquot her expense account could manage, the writer met the quartet of comediennes in a Los Angeles hotel suite. Alas, it appears as if the champagne and chicken should have been left in New York: Glamour deemed every inch of the transcript too “blue” for its perfume-scented pages. Lowbrow, on the other hand, considered the interview just lewd enough…”

Lewd is not quite the term I would use. This exchange about the dos and dont’s of all things sex with the self-proclaimed “Queens of Comedy” is balls-to-the-wall out there. I mean, from jump Mo’Nique sets it off with stuff that we can’t probably print in this post without making some of you blush. But lets just say the conversation involves lots of discussion about fellatio (both giving and receiving), junk size (and I quote: “If your package is too small, my favorite position is with another muthaf****), the avoidance of butt-play and S&M.

This conversation sounds familiar to me. I can remember vividly those days when a bunch of girlfriends and I would sit around – whether it be the bar or on somebody’s couch – and dish about what we liked, didn’t like so much, wanted to try, were NEVER gonna do (unless we were married) and all the other graphic details about our sexual conquests. You heard many of the words printed in the Jezzie article plus many more not even thought of.

Likewise, we were all different sexually – there was the one girlfriend that did and tried everything under the sun and always had a juicy story to share. There was the other girlfriend, who would blush and shake her head in embarrassment over our stories–that was until later in the conversation when she would drop some freaky bombshell that had the rest of our mouths wide open. And finally, there was the eavesdropping dude (perhaps the older brother or boyfriend of one of the girlfriends), who sat close enough to hear all of our sordid details without actually being involved in the conversation but would, from time to time, chime in to say something like: “I always knew girls were nastier than boys.”  These frank and colorful dialogues were the essence of our sister girl circles.  We felt free and safe to not only exhale but to inhale and exhale some more.

For the most part, women have always shared dirty jokes between themselves in private but gone are the days when cursing wasn’t seen as ladylike.  With more women pushing the PC boundaries on TV, particularly reality shows, young women and girls are growing raunchier by the day, some say.

Regina Barreca, a feminist scholar and English professor at the University of Connecticut said there may be fewer filters nowadays.

“I think there is less a sense of fear of public shaming. We’ve got all kinds of other things that are permissible. In a way, those are hard-won rights that women have been able to sort of gain … where we’ve been able to speak up and be ambitious and be sexual and control parts of our lives.”

Regina says some women may view the right to be blunt and vulgar as a way of further pushing those boundaries, but when it comes to young girls, people aren’t so thrilled with this trend. A recent study by the Girl Scout Research Institute found that girls who watch reality TV expect and accept more conflict in their lives and typically focus more on outward appearance than inner beauty. Specifically:

• 72% of girls who watch reality TV say they spend a lot of time on their appearance, compared to 42% of non-viewers.
• 68% of girls who watch reality TV say that it’s in girls’ nature to be catty with one another, compared to 50% who don’t watch reality TV.
• 28% of girls who watch reality TV say that sometimes you have to be mean to get ahead, compared to 18% of the girls who don’t watch reality TV.

The problem with reality TV, says Jennifer Pozner, author of “Reality Bites Back: The Troubling Truth About Guilty Pleasure TV,” is that the shows are marketed to women as if they are true reflections of day-to-day life.

Reality TV is “not indicative of women in the culture. Narratives are crafted before they even find the people to cast. And then they cast with a very, very specific set of tropes and stereotypes in mind. You’ve got the Itchbay. The Slore. The good girl who cries all the time — the weepy waif. You’ve got the angry black woman,” Jennifer said.

“I see a big problem with ideas changing in ways that will encourage girls and women to think that they should expect and accept being constantly seen as competitive with other women and expect and accept if they’re not super skinny or they haven’t spent $10,000 on a pair of earrings (that) nobody will value them or that the way to get what they want is to be violent.”

That’s been the issue most black women have with Reality TV shows and that’s the influence Jennifer also says women need to pay more attention to as opposed to a simple increase in common cursing—after all we’re just using the same language that men use on a daily basis and no one bats an eye.

Do you curse regularly or do you still view it as unladylike? Have you noticed women have gotten raunchier in real life with the rise in reality TV shows?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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