All Articles Tagged "Very Smart Brothas"
Is Music By Female Performers Filled With Just As Much Man-Hating As Hip-Hop Is Filled With Misogyny?
“I’m also very suspicious of men like you who (rightly) point out instances of misogyny in rap, while at the same time, try to excuse, or turn a blind eye to the slew of misandric/ female supremacist material filling the catalogues of artists like Beyonce & Taylor Swift.”I have heard this reasoning before: Female singers and rappers have as many man-hating songs as rappers have their woman-hating hits. But is it true? A casual listen to the radio would say, hell no! But in the name of pseudo-science, I decided to find out if songs performed by women in music were equally “misandrist.” The answers will surprise you – but likely not.
- Nineteen out of the 23 unique male-performed songs referred to women as either b**ches or hos or a combination of both.
- At least 10 of the male-performed songs had direct themes revolving around using money as economic power over women, particularly using it to lure a woman home or entice them to shake body parts. “Gas Pedal” gives you that much in the title without even having to cite a single lyric. Equally as direct was T-Pain, who reminds us that “she don’t even like girls but a stack will make her kiss her.” However, Trey Songz was a little more smooth in how he financially finessed himself closer to the “NaNa.”
- At least half of the male-performed songs were keen on establishing boundaries for women, and usually of lesser importance, even when the song itself had little to do with male-female relationships. For example, Chris Brown tells us directly about how he “done did everything but trust these hos” in “Loyal.” However, Young Thug, who focuses most of his lyrics in “Stoner” on his drug use, takes a bar or two to make clear that you can “can suck my banana, but I won’t eat your pudding.”
- At least 12 of the male-centered songs contained lyrics, which treated women as possessions, in particular, collectible items. For example, in “Devil Is A Lie”, Rick Ross brags about “switching old b**ches for new b**ches” and more. Whereas ScHoolboy Q couldn’t see women outside of disembodied body parts (“Titty, a**, hands in the air, it’s a party over here”) in “Man of the Year.”
- While not necessarily misogynistic, at least 10 of the male-centered songs had lyrics, which focused on non-committal relationships with the opposite sex. In “They Don’t Know,” Rico Love tells us about the very special yet secret relationship he has with a side jawn, who he is willing to wine and dine, just as long as she keeps her mouth shut.
- Only five of the male performed songs featured lyrics that were non-authoritative, combative and expressed healthier sentiment with the opposite sex. The majority of those songs were R&B, including Miguel’s “Adorn” and John Legend’s “All of Me” – or duets performed with a female performer. Even when the topic was about heartbreak, male-centered R&B songs were more likely to engage in self-reflection compared to their rap counterparts. The unique exceptions to that included R&B singer Chris Brown, who blames the cheating girls he willingly has relationships with in “Loyal” for his trust issues and rapper Big Sean, who seems willing to own up (slightly) to his paranoia in “All Me” with the following lines: “Like I got trust issues, I’m sorry for the people I’ve pushed out. I’m the type to have a bullet-proof condom and still gotta pull out. But that’s just me, and I ain’t perfect, I ain’t a saint but I am worth it…”
- Out of the nine female-performed songs on the radio, I found two examples, which could possibly be interpretative of misandry: the first is in Jhene Aiko’s “The Worst,” when she says of her deceiving significant other, “Please don’t take this personal, but you ain’t sh**t…” The second is Nicki Minaj’s verse on “Clappers” when she says,“Where your money? Let a b***h evaluate. If you ’bout big money, elaborate.” However, Minaj’s lyrics on “Clappers” seemed to be aligned with misogyny more than man-hating in that particular song.
- The vast majority (eight in total) of female-performed songs involved themes of love: how to get it and how to keep it. In “Drunk in Love,” Beyoncé told us sordid tales of all-night sex and drinking babies (as she also did in “Yoncé/Partition”). Tamar Braxton is so in love in her song she thinks about her man on her drive all the way home. Ariana Grande’s track was about being in love, as was Sevyn Streeter’s.
- All of the female-performed songs were more likely to focus on keeping and maintaining relationships with the opposite sex as opposed to their male-performing counterparts, whose songs were on varied topics (note: I included Janelle Monae in that number because “Primetime” was a duet with Miguel).
Earlier this year, we told you about the Very Smart Brothas series that was coming to a screen, whether big or small, sometime soon. And it looks like that day has arrived ladies and gentlemen. Though the pilot has been screened at different venues in New York, Los Angeles and Washington D.C., the creators, Damon Young, Andrea Thornton, Derek Bellard and Panama Jackson wanted to bring the pilot to the people who made it all possible. Those of us who reside on the internet.
The pilot is 22 minutes long but VSB is posting it in three different parts. The series is supposed to be loosely based on Panama and Damon, so if you read the site, see if you find Champ and P traits in these characters.
Check out part 1 and let us know what you think of this first bit.
About a year ago, we hipped you to the fact that the Very Smart Brothas were expanding their very popular blog, Very Smart Brothas.com and turning it into a webseries. Well, love muffins things change and now the once web series hopefully finds a home on your living room television set. You may be wondering why the switch up. Damon Young, aka “The Champ,” aka the man who answers your relationship questions every Wednesday explains:
“When done with the first draft of the webseries, we decided it would be a better idea to shift focus and create a 22 minute long pilot instead. Why? Well, one of the bi products of the success of Issa Rae and Awkward Black Girl is that everyone and their step-momma has a webseries now. Since we ain’t like everyone else, we did something different.”
No word on when the full pilot will be released but keep your eyes peeled for several screening dates, including one on Saturday, September 21st in Burbank, California, public screenings in D.C., Pittsburgh and one at the New York Television Festival on October 21-26. (The pilot was one of 47 selected to be shown to fans and industry executives.)
Take a look at the series which is loosely based on Damon and Panama (though someone did say they write as if they were more attractive…crazy) in the video below and tell us what you think.
If you want more information about the series, head over here.
Eva: Should u get back with an ex that has grown out of whatever issue that caused him to be your ex?
DY: Depends on the issue. My theory though, is that re-exing is like re-gifting. Sounds like a good idea, but you gave it away for a reason
Debra: Children’s father will only deal with his kids if he can be with the mother. Mother is unhappy but does not want kids to lose father’s presence. Stay or go? DY: GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Elexis: What does a man mean when he says he wants to be friends or he’s not ready for a relationship right now??? and what does the term “friends” mean DY: Usually, this means “I don’t want to be in a relationship with you, but I would like to have one with your vagina.” Tia: I am in love with someone who is extremely driven in his career and doesn’t want to marry unless he has completed a huge career goal. It is realistic for me to wait?
Erica: I just got into a discussion about what marriage is suppose to mean and I want a guy’s take on it. I say: Love is not unconditional and that everyone has dealbreakers in which they will leave a relationship or marriage. Including weight gain. Others say: If you’re married, then the only dealbreaker should be don’t cheat and don’t abuse me.
What say you?
DY: I say the best relationships/marriages are when you find someone whose dealbreakers match yours.
Denise: At what age do men grow up ?
DY: The age we realize “continuing not to grow up” means “dammit, the pool of women available to me will continue to shrink until I grow up.” Some of us make that transition, and some don’t because their pool never shrinks. There’s no incentive to make the change.
(Now, do no-strings attached type relationships actually work in the long run? Hmmm. That’s another question for another day)
Also, I don’t mean to be a package, but how did you be with someone long enough to marry them without knowing each others’ sexual likes and dislikes? I get these types of questions frequently, and I’m curious to know how that happens. Lydia: I been with him for a while just didn’t mess around I’m a women of God and believed on waiting! That I did… Damon: Ok. I definitely understand that. Well, I guess my next question would be what exactly do you mean by “Adult Videos star sex?” Lydia: Adult Videos sex is everyday all day long hit it from the back and all that… I love sex but not every day I am a mother and I go to 2 schools. I don’t be feeling like having sex every day. Damon: Moms can’t take it from the back? Learn something new everyday. Anyway, just tell him what you’re telling me. Not so much about the kids and school and all that, but that you really enjoy sex with him, but you may not be in the mood to do it every single day. Plus, when the, um, lovin’ is intense enough, you might need a day or two to heal, anyway. Remind him that consistent and persistent rabbit-banging has the potential of leaving you too raw/sore down there to enjoy it. Blessings: I have a bed buddy that’s been acting like a boyfriend lately. Inquiring of my whereabouts and wanting to spend more time together. But he still hasn’t come out and asked to be exclusive. I may be open to it, if we discussed. I don’t want to initiate the conversation for sake of losing the benefits. Any advice? Damon: This is a sticky situation (pun intended). There’s a chance that his change in behavior has nothing to do with him wanting someone more serious. Sometimes, we (men and women) just get a bit more possessive when sleeping with someone. Doesn’t always mean that person wants the relationship to go to another level, though. And, to be honest, I think if he wanted that bad enough, he’d just say it.
I still think you should have the conversation, though. Don’t come at it from a “So, do you want to be Facebook official now?” angle—since you’re not even sure that’s what you want. Instead, a “So, I noticed you’ve been kinda stalking me lately. What’s up with that?” angle gives you both the opportunity to clarify things without asking a leading question. Michaela: What’s the best way to handle conflicts w/ a guy who is ‘no-confrontational’, or hates to argue? Damon: Remind him that passive-aggressive behavior doesn’t actually get anything done. If anything, it makes things worse because minor issues continue to fester until they become major issues.
Also, you do have to ask yourself if some of the stuff you think is argue-worthy isn’t argue-worthy at all. Sistar: When should kids be introduced? What’s an appropriate amount of dating time? Damon: I don’t believe in arbitrary set times. In situations like this, the best thing to do is wait until you’re actually convinced that this person will be in your life for an extended period of time. Pittsburgh native Damon Young (aka “The Champ”) is the co-founder of the ridiculously popular VerySmartBrothas.com. Their first book “Your Degrees Won’t Keep You Warm At Night: The Very Smart Brothas Guide To Dating, Mating and Fighting Crime” is available at Amazon.com.
Kat: Is it smart to put a thriving career and making money over finding a man?
DY: I don’t know which one is “smarter,” but I do know that it’s dumb to think that you can;t have both. I mean, how are you going to have any luck finding a man if you can’t see because you need glasses and you don’t have glasses because you don’t have any money?
This might be a little TMI; but I’m very curious to know how other men feel about this, so I thought I’d ask. Recently, I was cuddling/making out with my boyfriend in bed when he tried to initiate sex. Normally, that would have been fine but I was on my period, which he knew, and I told him I didn’t exactly feel comfortable. He went into this persuasive speech about fluids being a natural part of sex, how we could make sure it was clean as possible etc. He was making a lot of sense and hormonally, I’d definitely be down; but a part of me still feels like it’s just…dirty. So needless to say, it didn’t happen that night; but I guess my question is, do most men want to have sex with women when they’re on their period? Should I work on being more open-minded and try to see things differently?