Courtesy of: singleblackmale.org

At every new stage of maturity, I loved him. When I was 18, naïve and green, I puppy loved him to death. At 21, when I realized relationships weren’t always going to be sweet nothings and passionate French kisses – I did my best to prove to him how willing I was to fight for us. He told me he didn’t want me anymore. I got familiar with the depths of depression, eating only three times and crying for the better part of two weeks. The only way to describe the hurt is that I felt like I was standing naked in the middle of a highway and I could see the truck coming for me, but I couldn’t move. That dose of rejection felt like I was hit by a truck. Head-on. Full-force.

And still, after months of not speaking, swearing I would never interact with him again, the moment he would text me, I would fall in love again. Dying to prove my adoration. Wanting him to want me just as much as I wanted him.

He didn’t and he never would.

Some say I was dumb. Some say I have daddy issues. Some say that it’s alright and that I can’t help who I loved. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and theories. And all of the above hold some element of truth. But was I going to live out the rest of my twenties, pining away for a BOY who could not make up his mind? Was I going to wait for him to catch up and get his act together? Was I going to shut out any and every possible “Mr. Do Right” for that one “Mr. Do Wrong” who did so much wrong I could never really get to the root of why I ever thought he could potentially do right?

I had some serious questions to ask myself. And I did. Even though I still loved him a great deal, I was weary of giving him my heart and ending up his victim. I was tired of putting myself on the line and looking around to realize that he wasn’t standing next to me. Was it time for me to walk away? Hell yes. Did I really want to? Hell no. How did I do it?

I just…STOPPED.

After the last offense (him making light of a serious near-death experience I had – to put it mildly) I shed a tear or two – nowhere near as many as I had in the past – and I deleted his number. I blocked him on Facebook. I told myself, “This is it. No more.”

It was all I could do every single day to keep from calling him to ask how his day had been or “accidentally” texting him to have ANY kind of conversation. But I realized for every day that I did not contact him, he did not contact me. Just like that. It hurt like nothing I would wish on my worst enemy. But I maintained. I kept telling myself, “In a week it won’t hurt this bad. In two months this will be a memory…” That’s how I got through. Moment to moment.

There comes a time when you really, truly, madly, deeply have to realize your worth. A time when you have to say, “Enough is enough.” You’re only treated the way you allow yourself to be treated. Your constant groveling for his love leaves you helpless, powerless. It proves that you have absolutely no concept of your own value. Groveling doesn’t have to be physically kneeling and begging. It’s in the little things like allowing him to come over at 4 a.m. when you know good and well he’s been out with other women. It’s in playing the role of the girlfriend/wife when he has made NO effort to give you the title. It’s in texting him constantly, deciphering every message he sends back, hoping there is some glimmer of affection reciprocated.

It took me some time, but I do speak to my ex now. I made that decision because I didn’t want to live my life hating him or being afraid to see him with someone else. I had to know that I moved on. For me this was the test to see if I was really over him. He has a girlfriend and contacts me on a semi-regular basis. I ask where his girlfriend is. He changes the subject. He’s unhappy. I’m single but in “talks” with an amazing guy who has been in my life for a few years now, waiting for the stars to align for us. *Cue cheesy grin* I’m content where I am. I gathered up all the love I had poured into him over the years and began showering it on myself, my family and friends.

When you make the decision to walk in your worth, wholly and completely – love and its full bounty open to you. We live in the era of over-the-top reality television where relationship problems are turned into complex quadratic equations for the sake of drama and Nielsen ratings when in reality it is NOT. THAT. HARD. WE choose to complicate things. Love, itself is as uncomplicated as a river’s flow.

So, when do you stay? When do you let it go? YOU know. You know in your heart when it’s time to walk away. You know when you’re making a mountain out of a mole hill and need to put more effort into the relationship.  What are you worth? What is your time worth? What is your love worth? You choose. You know what you deserve. You know your own mistakes. You know his. You know what you can forgive and forget. You know your dealbreakers. You know what is unreasonable and you know what isn’t. Make no more excuses. Quit pinning your hopes to an unstable man. Leave all half-a**ing to the reality stars. If it’s right, you know. Do the work. If it’s wrong, you know that too. Leave the jerk. You hold all the cards. Pack them up and wait on someone who plays fair. The win will be worth the wait for the both of you.

La Truly is a late-blooming Aries with lots to say. Her writing is powered by a lifetime of anecdotal proof that awkward can transform to awesome and fear can cast its crown before courage. Armed with the ability to purposefully poke fun at herself La seeks to encourage thought, discussion and positive change. Check out her thoughts/jokes/rants on Twitter: @AshleyLaTruly and her young women’s empowerment blog: www.hersoulinc.com.

A new report predicts that the sale of hybrid vehicles will increase 20 percent between now and 2015. Some of the reasons: they’re better for the environment, governments and other groups will be promoting them more heavily in the coming years and they don’t use as much oil.

However the cost of a hybrid vehicle has traditionally been cost-prohibitive. But that could all be changing. The latest model Toyota Prius splashes across its homepage that it starts at $24,000. A 2012 Chevrolet Volt is priced at $31,465.

But there are other hybrid vehicles coming to the market, and competition breeds lower prices. The C-MAX Energi from Ford, a plug-in hybrid, is coming to market at a lower price than others in the same category, once you take into account the tax credits you’re eligible for when you purchase one. And a new Lincoln MKZ luxury hybrid vehicle is going to be sold at the same price as the gas guzzling version of the same model.

The cost of the batteries that the cars use has also been a typical gripe. But analysts predict that the price of that is going to go down as well. And then, of course, there’s the money you’ll be saving on gas, though you will have to make arrangements for charging the vehicle.

So will you be considering a hybrid in the near future?

essence.com

It’s usually around high school when we begin to learn how rare a true friend is. Good friends are like a bomb pair of designer shoes, the ones that are actually comfortable and are marked down at a ridiculously low price. They’re hard to come by and when you do happen to come across a pair, you cherish them because you are well aware of their value. A good girlfriend can act as the sister you’ve never had, the therapist you can’t afford, and provide the encouragement that you need when the going gets tough. Sadly, many beautiful friendships end for trivial and foolish reasons. I know the saying goes, some people enter your life for a reason, some for a season, and some for a lifetime, but what if you’re allowing a lifetime friend to walk away over something petty? Check out some of the common reasons friendships end below and maybe you’ll decide that it’s time for you and your BFF to kiss and make up.

vibe.com

Social Network Squabbles

The infamous subliminal Facebook statuses and misunderstood tweets have been like a cancer to friendships everywhere since about 2005. I remember watching in amazement last summer as I witnessed the original Twitter “beef” breakout on my timeline between “Basketball Wives” stars and besties Jennifer Williams and Evelyn Lozada. I then began to reflect on my own life and my friends. I could count at least five of them who had fallen out over ridiculous social networking wars that originated over something being said that may or may not have even been about them. Are you really beefing over what you saw someone Tweet?? Come on ladies, think about how foolish you’d feel if you allowed yourself to lose a friend a few years back over Myspace. No one even visits that site anymore!

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Men 

*Sighs* Men are one of the leading causes of ruined friendships between women in America. Seriously though, this is such a common reason that great friendships fall apart. No, I would not suggest making up with a friend who vindictively slept with your man, that’s just trifling. And how could you trust them again? I would, however, suggest that you try to make amends with the friend who may have gotten a little caught up in her new relationship and may be unintentionally neglecting your friendship. I mean, we’ve all been there at one point or another. Express to her how you feel and try to work through it! Then, there’s the scenario where a rift can appear between friends when they realize that they’ve both been eying the same guy. This is not grounds to end a friendship. Two mature women will foresee the disaster which lies ahead and both agree to leave him alone. Sisters before misters, right? Chicks before … um, you get the point.

(BusinessWeek) –Social entrepreneurship isn’t a niche corner of the business world anymore. The idea of using business to create social and environmental value alongside profits has reached nearly every sector of the economy—and that breadth is evident in Bloomberg Businessweek’s second annual U.S. roundup of promising social entrepreneurs. The 25 finalists profiled in this slide show, culled from more than 200 reader suggestions, include entrepreneurs in insurance, banking, pharmaceuticals, and construction, as well as more conventional social enterprises like organic farms and fair-trade coffee companies. Other entrepreneurs have found opportunity in helping traditional businesses—including titans like Wal-Mart—increase their impact. The companies in our round-up range from fresh startups to established, multimillion-dollar enterprises. All share a commitment to using business to create a broader benefit.

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(Entrepreneur.com) — It’s commonly said that business valuation is more art than science. If this is true, then the practice of valuing a startup business is squarely in the domain of the artist. Nevertheless, entrepreneurs need to put a value on their startups in order to raise money, and investors need to put a value on their investments to generate liquidity. Since neither entrepreneurs nor investors are known for right-brain artistic thinking, this article aims to provide some tips for left-brain thinkers to make sense of startup valuation.

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(CNN) — Some of the most scorching returns these days are coming from funds that have made big wagers on the financial sector. There’s Legg Mason Capital Management Opportunity (LMOPX), run by Bill Miller, with a 54% return over the past 12 months. Bruce Berkowitz’s Fairholme (FAIRX) is up 36%.  Such numbers are awfully tempting — all the more so because they aren’t coming from go-go tech junkies but from “value” stock pickers who specialize in beaten-down, bargain-priced stocks, which is conventionally considered a safer approach. So should you get into one of these funds?

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(CNN) — Some of the most scorching returns these days are coming from funds that have made big wagers on the financial sector. There’s Legg Mason Capital Management Opportunity (LMOPX), run by Bill Miller, with a 54% return over the past 12 months. Bruce Berkowitz’s Fairholme (FAIRX) is up 36%.  Such numbers are awfully tempting — all the more so because they aren’t coming from go-go tech junkies but from “value” stock pickers who specialize in beaten-down, bargain-priced stocks, which is conventionally considered a safer approach. So should you get into one of these funds?

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(Smartmoney.com) — The company announced Monday that sales of the devices topped the benchmark on April 30 – 28 days after it became available to consumers. Apple is also benefitting from sales of related products. IPad users have downloaded over 12 million apps from the App Store and over 1.5 million e-books from the new iBookstore, according to the company. Apple, which sold 70,000 iPads per day in the first week, is now selling about 36,000 a day, according to BMO Capital Markets analyst Keith Bachman. The analyst says strong sales trends are likely to continue through the quarter with help from the 3G version, which went on sale April 30.

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