All Articles Tagged "Valentine’s Day"

To The ‘My Kid Is My Valentine’ Parents

February 11th, 2016 - By Chad Milner
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While the return of Queen Beyonce delayed it for 72 hours, it is now Valentine’s Day season.  Every channel is making their push with movies revolving around love and the commercials in between are unconsciously telling us all “Don’t be that person who messes the day up…so buy this.”

While the sentiments of the day are mostly focused on couples, Valentine’s Day is a social holiday. While some are channeling their inner poet with the flyest “Roses are red/Violets are blue” sonnets, others are getting ready to receive surprise gifts at work; Valentine’s Day is for stunting, and that’s a big part of the fun.  While there may be some incentive for later on that night, men not only want their women-or men-to feel like they’re number one. And if you’re single and checking social media that day, you might feel like a mess. There will be girls’ night out/in galore and men trying to–at the bare minimum–hook up for the night.

However, what irks me the most is “My child is my Valentine.”

This isn’t in reference to the ones who opt to make the day that St. Valentine was executed a day they focus on loving up their family. I’m talking about the ones who declare: “My son is my king/daughter is my queen/my kids are my everything” crowd.

In my personal opinion, it sounds like the child is a consolation prize. If there was a significant other in the picture, all favors would be bartered and the babysitter for that night would have been booked. While there are outliers, for the most part, people put more time, energy, effort, thought and dollars into whomever they are in a relationship with, and rightfully so. Children only care but so much. It’s another day of candy and fun-focused activities. At first, how kids view Valentine’s Day is mostly based on emulation of what they see on TV and at home.

As parents, we project our experiences, insecurities and other feelings about love onto our kids. Our parents did to us, and in general, it can have both favorable and adverse effects. While the goal is to limit the amount of the latter, I personally shake it off by saying part of the fun in parenting is messing our kids up.  However, there is a fine line in building self-esteem in our kids and subconsciously filling a void of loneliness.  

For example: all of the times that sons–myself included–have taken the status of being “man of the house” seriously. With a third grade education, I was 75 pounds soaking wet and bundled up, and I had two weeks of karate lessons that I learned in summer camp, but I was ready for the hold it down while dad was out of town. Nope, I did not pay one bill, but with a child’s optimism, the self-esteem boost was real for me. I was showing love and holding the house down. 

There is nothing wrong with one’s child being their Valentine.  It’s a sweet sentiment and should be done with discretion because the mindset can lead to codependence. We love our children with all our hearts, but at the end of the day, they’ll never be our partner.

Chad Milner is a New York-based writer who founded the blog Single Dadventures, where he pens his (mis)adventures with his daughter, Cydney.  He regularly contributes to Madamenoire, as well as various websites, giving insight on parenting, dating, relationships and music from the perspective of a young, single black father.  Follow him on Twitter and Instagram

Valentine’s Day Fails That Will Remind You Why It’s Great To Be Single

February 11th, 2016 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: Tumblr

Image Source: Tumblr

Once upon a time, we thought that being single was the worst thing to be on Valentine’s Day. While everyone was flaunting their relationship status, we were home watching rom-coms and eating candy by our lonesome. But then we heard about these Valentine’s Day fails and realized that just because a person does have a date on the most romantic day of the year doesn’t mean it will actually be a romantic evening.

Everyone involved in these Valentine’s Day fails probably wishes that they had been single on February 14th. Get ready to laugh, shake your head, and thank your lucky stars after scrolling through.

What’s the worst Valentine’s Day you’ve ever had? Whether you received the worst Valentine’s Day gift of them all, or no Valentine’s Day gift, we want to hear about it. Share your story in the comment section so we can all laugh and feel a little better about the upcoming holiday.

What Valentine’s Day Cards Would Say If They Were Honest

February 11th, 2016 - By Julia Austin
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In a world of texts and Snapchat, writing a card feels very intimate— sometimes too intimate. The moment someone takes the time to write you a card, you get a little scared like they’re going to put something in there you weren’t ready to read. Maybe that’s because today letters are reserved for lawyers letting you know what the defendant wants in the settlement. Letters are from the IRS telling you that you still owe them money. Letters are from your grandma telling you that you don’t write her enough letters. Basically, letters are rarely good, so we feel uncomfortable around them. Now stick the uncomfortable letter on the most pressure-filled day—Valentine’s Day—and you have an explosive situation. Not everybody is in that perfect, happy place of being together long enough to feel comfortable saying sweet things, but not so long that you have nothing left to say. For some people, Valentine’s Day cards are hard. Here are what they would say if they were a little more honest.

10 Valentine’s Day Gifts That’ll Actually Make Him Smile

February 8th, 2016 - By M A
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Valentine’s Day might be a nerve-racking holiday for the guys in our lives, but it can be equally as challenging for the ladies. Trying to think of a gift that will make your man happy — and not fake happy, but genuinely surprised and appreciative — can be really tricky. So MadameNoire is here to help with 10 gifts that we truly think will take your Valentine’s Day gift giving to a whole new level.

Credit: Shutterstock

Credit: Shutterstock

Custom Whiskey Cask

One of two liquor-related presents on our list, we love the idea of giving our beau a custom whiskey cask on Valentine’s Day. While it might not be the most sentimental gift in the world, we know that our guys will appreciate the sophistication of a well-crafted cask; they’ll be even more impressed if you’re able to swing a custom monogram on this.

This Sex Toy Will Make For A Pleasurable Valentine’s Day

February 6th, 2016 - By Ashley Monaé
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Image Source: Shutterstock.com

Image Source: Shutterstock.com

With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, it’s time we equip our readers with some tips for making this year’s celebration of love not just a great one but a pleasurable one.

Aside from schooling us on contouring and highlighting and Ben Nye setting powder, Kim Kardashian has decided to curate a Valentine’s Day gift guide, giving us some gift ideas for the big day and insight on what’s going down behind closed doors in her home. From silks blindfolds to melt chocolate body fondue to mesh handcuffs, there’s a lot of great picks ranging in price from $9.99 to $10,000.

Photo Credit: thepleasurechest.com

Photo Credit: thepleasurechest.com

Most notable, Kim listed the Lovelife Share Couple’s Ring Vibe ($59) as a gift that’ll leave both you and your man satisfied. Apparently, it’s a “snug silicone cock ring” that keeps a man’s anatomy harder and more sensitive with several different vibration patterns. Plus, during sex, the receiver can enjoy the vibrations as well by grinding against it, so it’s a win-win situation.

Have any of you all tried penis rings before? Check out Kim’s full Valentine’s Day gift guide here.

 

Care.com Survey Says: Parents Need Date Night

February 2nd, 2016 - By Kweli Wright
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Wouldn’t it be great to book a sitter, buy tickets for a movie and make dinner reservations all in just minutes?

Try Care.com’s Date Night app.

Family time is hugely important, but for parents so is a date night alone to reconnect and focus on each other only. In fact, 30 percent of parents say it’s been six months or longer since their last date, according to a national Care.com survey. Now that Valentine’s Day is nearly upon us, it’s time parents rectify that!

According to Katie Bugbee, Senior Managing Editor at Care.com, below are the top reasons couples need to get out for an official date night this Valentine’s Day:

Parents are regular people, too

And regular people like date nights. 80 percent of parents say their attitudes about dating changed after having children. Perhaps that’s due to the premium they now place on things like sleep, but 85 percent of parents want to go out on more dates. So on the biggest date night of the year, you must.

Date Nights Are Sexy

While more then 2/3 of parents have no complaints, 29 percent of parents wouldn’t mind a little more electricity in their relationship. An evening out dressed up in something other than sweats or stained tees can provide that spark. Whether it’s seeing your partner take unusual care in his/her appearance or simply having them focus on you solely for an evening, 88 percent admitted to feeling more attracted to their partner after a date.  

Taking initiative is a sexy trait 

Do you feel like you always make the plans? According to Care.com, 66 percent of parents in a relationship wish their partner would plan more dates. But lets be honest, coordination is not many people’s forte – and again, takes time away from that new favorite past time, sleep. With the Care.com Date Night app, you can book a sitter, buy tickets for a movie and make dinner reservations all in just minutes. So in just a few minutes, even dad could look like an agenda-planning superhero! Now you all may resume sleep time.

A little extra cash is allowed to be used on YOU

Dig into that savings jar: 55% of couples spend between $50 and $99 on date nights. While we can all find debts to pay down or other practical purposes for that cash, spending money on an experience together will make you both feel fulfilled and satisfied.

 

 

Love Your First: Join MommyNoire’s Self Love Challenge

February 19th, 2015 - By Rich
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As mothers, we often take on the load of loving so many people and forget to point the love back at ourselves. Balancing kids, work, a love life, family, and more is not easy. If it’s anyone that gets it – it’s us here at MommyNoire, that’s why we are dedicating 21 days to loving ourselves better. It is often said that is takes 21 days for a habit to stick and this is one habit that certainly needs to be bound like glue. It may feel a bit selfish (defeat the mom guilt!) at first – but it is oh so necessary!

In our 21 Day Self Love Challenge we will be focusing on the mind, soul and body each week. We will be bringing you expert advice on how to love you better, rid yourself of negative thinking, build the life you wish for and love you better!

We are kicking off the challenge starting with the mind because, the truth is, before any real actions are made or changed the decision starts in the mind first. To help us kickoff our week dedicated to taking better care of our mental, allow us to introduce you to Life Coach, Therapist and Ebony Lifestyle Editor Tia Brown. Tia’s goal is to help her clients makes small decisions that can profoundly improve their lives.

What we love most about Brown is her genuine desire to uncover purpose, give women the tools to build a better version of themselves and her real talk approach.

Brown may remind you of the Auntie you’d tell all your secrets (the ones Mom missed) and she’d gear you back in line with no judgement – that’s Tia, except she has the degrees and training to go along!

MommyNoire: What is the first step in envisioning what self love looks like internally?

Brown: The first step is the visioning process – thinking about what you want is the first step. People do better, I think, when they start writing down or vision boarding what their goals are because number one, it creates accountability because now you speak this into existence and two it’s a reminder, you can always go back to your list and say ‘oh wait this is where I’m supposed to be or this is what I’m working towards’ it helps keep you focused.

The first steps are getting it down on paper and into imagery so that way you can really connect with that goal or goals.

MommyNoire: How do you go about defeating the negative thoughts of doubt, worry or fear?

Brown: I’m very much a component of cognitive behavioral theory which says you behave in the way that you think, so the more you think negatively the more you’ll behave negatively. You really have to cast out those negative thoughts and I say you counteract it with two things: a positive thought and a positive action.

So, If you are saying ‘I need to exercise’ but then you’re sitting down on the couch eating ice cream and going ‘oh I’m always going to be fat.’

  1. Take two more bites then put it down.
  2. Go take a walk around the block.

If you are saying I want to go back to school, or I want to get a new job and you’re sitting their watching television.

  1. When that show ends turn the TV off or you can step away that moment.

  2. Get on the computer and look up two programs you’d be interested in applying to, two jobs, write down the date, send the resume.

 

Brown continued to dish out real and practical advice that may sting a little, but truly gets us to fully being and loving the person we say we are striving to be. We’ll be sharing more of the conversation this upcoming week. But the work starts now!

Each day we’re taking one action that allows us to truly love ourselves more fully.

MOMSelfLoveChallenge

 

What are you doing right now? Whether your Valentine’s Day is surrounded by loved ones today or just you, it’s time to realize you can and should be your favorite Valentine!

 

 

 Tia Brown completed her training with the Coaches Training Institute, one of the world’s premier coach training facilities, and utilizes the Co-Active Coaching method. Brown also received her Masters degree in Clinical Social Work from New York University. When she isn’t helping her clients, you can find Tia writing or commentating on the latest in pop culture. tiabrown

“I Love You Baby”: After Publicly Dissing Each Other, Juelz Santana & Kimbella Reunite In Time For Valentine’s Day

February 16th, 2015 - By Victoria Uwumarogie
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Twitter

Twitter

If you can learn anything from Juelz Santana and Kimbella Vanderhee (as well as Chris Brown and Karrueche Tran if we’re keeping it 100), it’s that you shouldn’t share your relationship woes with the public when you know good and well that you’re going to reunite. It’s just silly…and eye-roll worthy.

We told you last month that Juelz and Kimbella started the new year on the wrong foot. He claimed that she was trying to change him, and then she said that he wasn’t handling his business. They broke up, but the pettiness continued as Kimbella claimed that after they split, he hadn’t made an effort to see his kids. It was all bad. But a month after all that drama unfolded, it looks like these two have kissed and made up, and they did so just in time to celebrate Valentine’s Day together…

 

 

When people had something to say about the pair getting back together and appearing so cozy after publicly trashing each other, Kimbella responded, and apologized for their past behavior:

 

 

Well, glad to know they were able to work things out. Hopefully, now they can keep their differences off of the Internet and take care of business together. *Fingers crossed*

Entertaining Guide: Valentine’s Day Dinner, Dessert and The Morning After

February 14th, 2015 - By Rich
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Happy Valentine’s day, Happy Hostesses! So, last week we did a little warm up and provided you all with a list of edible aphrodisiacs to sort of jumpstart you and your lover’s palette for an awesome night of romance and, of course, delicious bites of love! Ha, okay – the lovey-dovey business is somewhat overkill on days like today but let’s get into it! Because … Saturday. As it takes years to enjoy sweethearts day on the weekend, right? Might as well make a day of it and we’re here to help you do just that! Ladies, we’ve put together a list of recipes to choose from to make your valentine’s day dinner, dessert and the morning after one to remember! From savory pasta dishes, surf and turf and a slew of red velvet themed sweets from the Food Network.com, your man is sure to feel especially loved on this happy Saturday! And since you’ve got the time, why not get him involved and see what kind of magic you two can make together … in the kitchen, that is! The options are limitless, lovelies! Take a look …

Entertaining Guide: Valentine’s Day Dinner, Dessert and The Morning After

My Man Hates Valentine’s Day: What To Do When You Care About The “Holiday” But He Doesn’t

February 14th, 2015 - By Brooke Dean
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My husband doesn’t believe in Valentine’s Day. Birthdays…yes. Anniversaries…absolutely. But Valentine’s Day…he wants no parts of it. However, the romantic in me has always appreciated Cupid’s Day. In the past, I’ve never slit my wrists when February 14th rolled around and I had no man. But when I did have a boo and I received flowers, candy or a teddy bear, my heart would smile. I’m just like that I guess.

Now, just because my husband doesn’t believe in Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean he’s never given me a gift on February 14th. In fact, he’s bought me tulips (my favorite) and some nice lingerie. He even got me a Valentine’s Day card once. But he did it because he knew I’d like it, not because he’s a hopeless V-Day romantic like I am. It was his way of saying, “See how much I love you that I would give in to this commercial holiday designed to break a dude’s pockets?!” And yes, I appreciated it…because I knew it went against everything he believed in just to put a smile on my face. I never gave him grief about his beliefs, and I agree with his reasons for not celebrating Valentine’s Day – especially when you trace its origins. If this Saturday comes and he says, “I love you,” that’s all the warm and fuzzies I need for that day.

But what if you are a full-fledged sucker for Valentine’s Day and your man isn’t? What to do then? While I can’t answer that for you, what I can say is that now that we’re married with a baby, I appreciate the little affirmations of love that I receive daily, not just on special “holidays.” Love should be freely given, and it shouldn’t cost and arm and a leg to express it. Cards, flowers, candy, fancy dinners – they’re all wonderful. But If you only feel loved on your birthday or Valentine’s Day…something is wrong.

Now, if you know that your man or your husband loves you, but just isn’t a fan of a holiday that feels like forced romance, then by all means…let him hate the holiday. If he shows you in a million other ways that he loves you all year around, then you might want to just let it slide. Some women get downright angry at their man if Valentine’s Day comes and they don’t even get so much as a Hershey’s Kiss. To them I say ask yourself what about him not liking the “holiday” bothers you so much. Do you feel like it’s a slap in the face if he doesn’t acknowledge you on V-Day? Are you materialistic and feel he should spend a small fortune on you in order to show you he cares? Are you more concerned with what your friends will think if you don’t get a gift on Valentine’s Day? Do you need public displays of affection to feel socially accepted? If Valentine’s Day is important to you, you have to figure out why first before you get mad at him for not giving in to your whims.

If after all of your soul-searching you find that you are in a fulfilling relationship with someone who just doesn’t believe in V-Day, then by all means let it go. Go out to dinner with your girlfriends, or pamper yourself at a spa while he watches the All Star Game. Or shower your man with gifts even if he doesn’t get you anything. If you TRULY believe in Valentine’s Day, then you can still express your love for him without expecting anything in return. And if he would not be receptive to gifts, simply snuggle with him on the sofa instead.

There is nothing wrong with your relationship if you don’t receive a box of chocolates on Valentine’s Day, but there IS something wrong if that is the only day you have to look forward to in order to feel loved by your mate. And I’m not talking about romance. I’m talking about LOVE. Sure, V-Day is a chance for him to show his romantic side if he’s genuinely not the romantic type in general…so maybe he DOES need a day to help bring this side out of himself. But as far as authentic love is concerned, that’s something that can’t be contained in one Hallmark card one day out of the year. True love is what you feel the day after Valentine’s Day…and the day after that…and the day after that. And if you don’t feel it the other 364 days of the year, then Valentine’s Day really doesn’t matter.