All Articles Tagged "Valentine’s Day"
As mothers, we often take on the load of loving so many people and forget to point the love back at ourselves. Balancing kids, work, a love life, family, and more is not easy. If it’s anyone that gets it – it’s us here at MommyNoire, that’s why we are dedicating 21 days to loving ourselves better. It is often said that is takes 21 days for a habit to stick and this is one habit that certainly needs to be bound like glue. It may feel a bit selfish (defeat the mom guilt!) at first – but it is oh so necessary!
In our 21 Day Self Love Challenge we will be focusing on the mind, soul and body each week. We will be bringing you expert advice on how to love you better, rid yourself of negative thinking, build the life you wish for and love you better!
We are kicking off the challenge starting with the mind because, the truth is, before any real actions are made or changed the decision starts in the mind first. To help us kickoff our week dedicated to taking better care of our mental, allow us to introduce you to Life Coach, Therapist and Ebony Lifestyle Editor Tia Brown. Tia’s goal is to help her clients makes small decisions that can profoundly improve their lives.
What we love most about Brown is her genuine desire to uncover purpose, give women the tools to build a better version of themselves and her real talk approach.
Brown may remind you of the Auntie you’d tell all your secrets (the ones Mom missed) and she’d gear you back in line with no judgement – that’s Tia, except she has the degrees and training to go along!
MommyNoire: What is the first step in envisioning what self love looks like internally?
Brown: The first step is the visioning process – thinking about what you want is the first step. People do better, I think, when they start writing down or vision boarding what their goals are because number one, it creates accountability because now you speak this into existence and two it’s a reminder, you can always go back to your list and say ‘oh wait this is where I’m supposed to be or this is what I’m working towards’ it helps keep you focused.
The first steps are getting it down on paper and into imagery so that way you can really connect with that goal or goals.
MommyNoire: How do you go about defeating the negative thoughts of doubt, worry or fear?
Brown: I’m very much a component of cognitive behavioral theory which says you behave in the way that you think, so the more you think negatively the more you’ll behave negatively. You really have to cast out those negative thoughts and I say you counteract it with two things: a positive thought and a positive action.
So, If you are saying ‘I need to exercise’ but then you’re sitting down on the couch eating ice cream and going ‘oh I’m always going to be fat.’
- Take two more bites then put it down.
- Go take a walk around the block.
If you are saying I want to go back to school, or I want to get a new job and you’re sitting their watching television.
When that show ends turn the TV off or you can step away that moment.
Get on the computer and look up two programs you’d be interested in applying to, two jobs, write down the date, send the resume.
Brown continued to dish out real and practical advice that may sting a little, but truly gets us to fully being and loving the person we say we are striving to be. We’ll be sharing more of the conversation this upcoming week. But the work starts now!
Each day we’re taking one action that allows us to truly love ourselves more fully.
What are you doing right now? Whether your Valentine’s Day is surrounded by loved ones today or just you, it’s time to realize you can and should be your favorite Valentine!
Tia Brown completed her training with the Coaches Training Institute, one of the world’s premier coach training facilities, and utilizes the Co-Active Coaching method. Brown also received her Masters degree in Clinical Social Work from New York University. When she isn’t helping her clients, you can find Tia writing or commentating on the latest in pop culture.
“I Love You Baby”: After Publicly Dissing Each Other, Juelz Santana & Kimbella Reunite In Time For Valentine’s Day
If you can learn anything from Juelz Santana and Kimbella Vanderhee (as well as Chris Brown and Karrueche Tran if we’re keeping it 100), it’s that you shouldn’t share your relationship woes with the public when you know good and well that you’re going to reunite. It’s just silly…and eye-roll worthy.
We told you last month that Juelz and Kimbella started the new year on the wrong foot. He claimed that she was trying to change him, and then she said that he wasn’t handling his business. They broke up, but the pettiness continued as Kimbella claimed that after they split, he hadn’t made an effort to see his kids. It was all bad. But a month after all that drama unfolded, it looks like these two have kissed and made up, and they did so just in time to celebrate Valentine’s Day together…
When people had something to say about the pair getting back together and appearing so cozy after publicly trashing each other, Kimbella responded, and apologized for their past behavior:
Well, glad to know they were able to work things out. Hopefully, now they can keep their differences off of the Internet and take care of business together. *Fingers crossed*
Happy Valentine’s day, Happy Hostesses! So, last week we did a little warm up and provided you all with a list of edible aphrodisiacs to sort of jumpstart you and your lover’s palette for an awesome night of romance and, of course, delicious bites of love! Ha, okay – the lovey-dovey business is somewhat overkill on days like today but let’s get into it! Because … Saturday. As it takes years to enjoy sweethearts day on the weekend, right? Might as well make a day of it and we’re here to help you do just that! Ladies, we’ve put together a list of recipes to choose from to make your valentine’s day dinner, dessert and the morning after one to remember! From savory pasta dishes, surf and turf and a slew of red velvet themed sweets from the Food Network.com, your man is sure to feel especially loved on this happy Saturday! And since you’ve got the time, why not get him involved and see what kind of magic you two can make together … in the kitchen, that is! The options are limitless, lovelies! Take a look …
Entertaining Guide: Valentine’s Day Dinner, Dessert and The Morning After
My husband doesn’t believe in Valentine’s Day. Birthdays…yes. Anniversaries…absolutely. But Valentine’s Day…he wants no parts of it. However, the romantic in me has always appreciated Cupid’s Day. In the past, I’ve never slit my wrists when February 14th rolled around and I had no man. But when I did have a boo and I received flowers, candy or a teddy bear, my heart would smile. I’m just like that I guess.
Now, just because my husband doesn’t believe in Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean he’s never given me a gift on February 14th. In fact, he’s bought me tulips (my favorite) and some nice lingerie. He even got me a Valentine’s Day card once. But he did it because he knew I’d like it, not because he’s a hopeless V-Day romantic like I am. It was his way of saying, “See how much I love you that I would give in to this commercial holiday designed to break a dude’s pockets?!” And yes, I appreciated it…because I knew it went against everything he believed in just to put a smile on my face. I never gave him grief about his beliefs, and I agree with his reasons for not celebrating Valentine’s Day – especially when you trace its origins. If this Saturday comes and he says, “I love you,” that’s all the warm and fuzzies I need for that day.
But what if you are a full-fledged sucker for Valentine’s Day and your man isn’t? What to do then? While I can’t answer that for you, what I can say is that now that we’re married with a baby, I appreciate the little affirmations of love that I receive daily, not just on special “holidays.” Love should be freely given, and it shouldn’t cost and arm and a leg to express it. Cards, flowers, candy, fancy dinners – they’re all wonderful. But If you only feel loved on your birthday or Valentine’s Day…something is wrong.
Now, if you know that your man or your husband loves you, but just isn’t a fan of a holiday that feels like forced romance, then by all means…let him hate the holiday. If he shows you in a million other ways that he loves you all year around, then you might want to just let it slide. Some women get downright angry at their man if Valentine’s Day comes and they don’t even get so much as a Hershey’s Kiss. To them I say ask yourself what about him not liking the “holiday” bothers you so much. Do you feel like it’s a slap in the face if he doesn’t acknowledge you on V-Day? Are you materialistic and feel he should spend a small fortune on you in order to show you he cares? Are you more concerned with what your friends will think if you don’t get a gift on Valentine’s Day? Do you need public displays of affection to feel socially accepted? If Valentine’s Day is important to you, you have to figure out why first before you get mad at him for not giving in to your whims.
If after all of your soul-searching you find that you are in a fulfilling relationship with someone who just doesn’t believe in V-Day, then by all means let it go. Go out to dinner with your girlfriends, or pamper yourself at a spa while he watches the All Star Game. Or shower your man with gifts even if he doesn’t get you anything. If you TRULY believe in Valentine’s Day, then you can still express your love for him without expecting anything in return. And if he would not be receptive to gifts, simply snuggle with him on the sofa instead.
There is nothing wrong with your relationship if you don’t receive a box of chocolates on Valentine’s Day, but there IS something wrong if that is the only day you have to look forward to in order to feel loved by your mate. And I’m not talking about romance. I’m talking about LOVE. Sure, V-Day is a chance for him to show his romantic side if he’s genuinely not the romantic type in general…so maybe he DOES need a day to help bring this side out of himself. But as far as authentic love is concerned, that’s something that can’t be contained in one Hallmark card one day out of the year. True love is what you feel the day after Valentine’s Day…and the day after that…and the day after that. And if you don’t feel it the other 364 days of the year, then Valentine’s Day really doesn’t matter.
If you went out last night with a man who says he has to work tonight, you celebrated National Side Chick Day–not Valentine’s Day. Sorry to break the news. Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us. Once a guy took me to dinner on February 13th. He even brought a dozen of red roses and picked me up in a luxury rental. We ate strawberry salmon and sipped chardonnay–this was long before moscato was the thing people drank.
Valentine’s Day just used to not be that important to me. This man and I dated, casually. At the time, I wasn’t interested in entering a relationship. Perhaps I was a bit commitment phobic. So, when we told me he had to work the next day, I believed him. Or maybe I just didn’t care where he had to go. I didn’t think he was going anywhere with another woman, though. I mean, he was in retail. Looking back, I think I unknowingly celebrated National Side Check Day. I just didn’t know it. He wasn’t married, but he definitely exhibited some Andre-like personality traits. My name’s not Mary Jane, so I didn’t stick around for much longer.
Valentine’s Day is a day celebrated, sometimes not totally by choice, by many women across the country. Many of these women are single moms like me. Many want to get married like me. Many are boycotting the holiday. That’s not like me.
You see, Valentine’s Day is about more than getting flowers sent to your job to impress co-workers you couldn’t care less about the other 364 days of the year. It’s more than getting pampered at the spa or sharing a meal on one plate (I saw that advertised at a bistro yesterday and thought it was kind of gross). The day is a celebration of love, and men, although quite wonderful at times, aren’t the only people we were created to love. I love God, my daughter, my family and my friends.
You know who else I love? Me. So much so I won’t settle for second best and be a side chick, a jump off, a mistress or whatever else people label the other woman these days. Even when I don’t go out on a date, I still celebrate the holiday. I express my love and appreciation for the many amazing people in my life. The ones who helped teach my how to love. I’m not bitter, lonely or afraid of what the future holds. I’m content.
So go ahead, send yourself flowers, eat a box of chocolates, buy a bundle of balloons or sip a glass of bubbly. Celebrate life, and all it has to offer. If you feel a little down, you have my permission to wear black. And feel a little lonely, snuggle up with your kids, kiss their foreheads and tell them that you love them to the moon and back. And that even if/when a man comes into your life, you will always have a huge place in your heart for your babies.
Valentine’s Day is only a few days away and many of us have already started our search for that perfect gift. One way to express your love to someone is by whipping up a fabulous meal that will satisfy their appetite. It doesn’t matter if you are married, in a relationship or single, this is something everyone can enjoy regardless of their plans. So call up your gals or your guy and host a Valentine’s Day brunch. Here are some recipes to try.
10 Delicious Valentine’s Day Brunch Ideas
How come it’s cute when rich people slum it up at chain restaurants, but tacky when the rest of us, who are trying to dine-out while staying within our means, do the same?
What I mean is that last week, the Internet was full of gooey gumdrops and chocolate Hershey’s kisses over reports that the Legends and the Kardashians…or the Wests…had a double date at the Waffle House. In an exclusive interview about the dinner-for-four, which went viral thanks to a pic taken of the group (seen above), Chrissy Teigen tells Cosmopolitan:
“Well, of course we’re all friends, and we had gone to the DirecTV party to watch Rihanna perform, and Kanye had come out as the surprise guest and just killed it. We were on such a high from watching him perform. Everyone [who saw the photo]was like, Why are they so dressed up for a Waffle House? We were already dressed up from the party, and so we were just kind of having a good time, and I don’t know how it started. I’m sure it was probably my idea. [Laughs] I always make a late-night run somewhere. The night before it was Taco Bell, the night before [that] it was Jack-in-the-Box. And I had never been to a Waffle House. So it was time. And they were so great too. Everyone that worked there was so cool. They just kept trying to get the meal perfect, so it took a while. But it was worth it, for sure.”
Aww, isn’t that sweet? They’re just like regular people – except we hate regular people.
What I mean is that earlier this week, folks in my social media timeline were turning their noses up at the idea of having Valentine’s dinner at the Waffle House. The same spot (well, not the same exact location but the same chain) where folks gushed over John Legend, Chrissy Teigen, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West dining and holding hands awkwardly is still considered too low-class for the rest of us.
According to a past story from CBS 46.com:
Flowers, chocolates and dinners end up costing a lot of money on Valentine’s Day. But some people save a few bucks by taking their sweethearts to Waffle House for their candle-lit dinner.
It might not be some people’s first choice, but customers at the Cheshire Bridge Road Waffle House actually made reservations to get in the door.
“We’re not fancy people,” said Pamela Prusin. “We like Waffle House and its good food.”
Waffle House rolled out the red carpet for the big day. Serving steak and sizzle is quickly growing into a tradition.
“It’s a great place to be,” said Iris Jackson with Waffle House. “It’s family-oriented, it’s fun, it’s festive, you don’t have to wait hours to get in line.”
The chain has offered the holiday service for nearly six years at 145 locations.
Some in my timeline think Valentine’s dinner at the Waffle House is hood, even if you are broke, considering the fact that even a broke couple has the option of a romantic dinner for two at home. However, I personally feel like this is a good idea. Everyone needs love and a romantic evening–even those who are not as financially secure. Not everyone can afford five-star restaurants and moonlight carriage rides through the neighborhood. Some of us can only afford a bus token, a couple of Texas melt platters, and maybe an extra side of hash browns. What’s wrong with that?
And if we can really keep it real, Valentine’s Day is a holiday marked by marketing, not decreed by God. The value we put on celebrating that one particular day – and how we celebrate that one particular day – might actually overshadow what our loved ones show us daily without the encouragement of the holiday.
However, I know folks feel differently, so I truly want to know what you think. If your significant other sprang a Valentine Day’s meal at the Waffle House on you, would you think it was quirky and romantic, or would you be on Match.com looking for your next beau?
Since you all loved our last segment with Guy Code so much we decided to team up with the fellas again for a series of videos "breaking the code" on what men feel about all sorts of things, love, sex, dating, women, and fatherhood related, and because we still needed voices of reason, we added our very own editors in the mix to weigh in on all the questions. In this first episode of "Breaking the Code" we're hitting on the top three questions we all want to know about Valentine's Day.
1. Do men really want gifts?
2. How to ask if you're spending Valentine's Day together (without getting your feelings hurt) when you've just started dating?
3. What it means if you don't spend Valentine's Day together?
Watch, laugh, and be enlightened.
I’m not as active one Twitter as I once was. These days I find myself reading and observing more than anything else. The other day I was briefly scrolling while passing some time and I saw an interesting rant from a friend of mine. In a nutshell, she was saying that women who don’t do anything for their man on Valentine’s Day are well, a POS. Interesting.
I thought about it for a minute and while I wouldn’t be that harsh I could understand the sentiment. Valentine’s Day is often and usually referred to as a girl’s holiday. The premise behind why we make a big deal out of it reminds me of a Chris Rock joke where he said that women need three things in life: food, water, and compliments. It is perceived as a day where the compliments flow, the gifts come showering down, and you have to show it all off to make your coworkers and now your friends on social media jealous (I’m gonna put a pin in this and come back to it).
Ladies, we know it’s mostly your day. Truth be told, most of us start drumming up ideas around when we see how happy you are/aren’t with your Christmas gift–day two in the pantheon of big days (the others being birthday and anniversary). It’s a process of outdoing the year before within reason and without setting the bar too high for yourself and if you’re in a new relationship do something better than the last guy.
But what about us? For those that do not know the secret, I will divulge: men need validation for their work. It’s what we live for. We work tirelessly at work not just for the paycheck, but for that hypothetical pat on the back from bosses, co-workers, performance reviews, or that promotion. We just need to know that what we do is appreciated. The same with our relationships or marriage. No, we don’t expect the moon or nearly as much thought that goes into your gifts and stuff, but some thought would be nice.
Back to that pin I mentioned earlier. A new day is upon us in the Valentine’s Day game. We already had to live up to high expectations masked as no expectations. Not only do you have to win the arms race at work on Valentine’s Day, you have to do something to make your lady look good so she can show it off in some kind of pictorial format on social media. The pressure is on. Can’t do anything too cheesy unless it comes along with a caption somewhere along the lines of “I love cliches” or something. We know this and must make sure we deliver.
As men we always feel the need to do better than what was done before. I’m kind of cocky, so I already think I’m an upgrade from a woman’s ex. However, I still feel the need to find a way to outperform them on Valentine’s Day even though I know I do on a daily basis. I was seeing someone and in doing my research I casually brought up Valentine’s Day to gauge what they’ve already experienced. She was used to seeing a few people who made a lot more money than I did. Financially speaking I couldn’t hang at all with some of the stuff she told me about. If I weren’t me, I would have been intimidated or even overwhelmed. I had to think of something really creative and thoughtful. I figured something out and she’ll find out somewhere between Thursday and Saturday. With all of that said, yes that much thought goes into what we do for you.
Personally I don’t have high expectations if any–my mantra for an easygoing life–so that way if something is done for me I am genuinely surprised. Someone in my life would probably say otherwise but I’m incredibly low maintenance. Most men are this way. About 80 percent of our validation on the day is seeing our ladies smile light up after all of the work and thought we’ve put into them. So for that go the extra mile for us. It’s the right thing to do.
And no, sex doesn’t count. It’s kind of a given and it’s just as much for you as it is us.
For some couples, the hearts, chocolate and violins of Valentine’s Day help them celebrate their wonderful relationships; for others, it just reminds them that their relationship is a big, fat lie. Here are 15 celebrity couples who broke up on Valentine’s Day.