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There are some, Kanye West in particular, who would argue that if you can’t use someone, then they are useless to you. Yes, this is true. We all use people for something, even the people we truly love. But there are some people who we’ve intentionally or unintentionally misled. Whether we’ve misled them to believe we value them more than we actually do or we value what they can do for us more than the person they are, there are ways you can unfairly use a person, particularly in the dating arena. We checked in with our Facebook followers to see if they’d ever done this. See what they had to say. 

Karla: I always get to the point where I can…and then punk out!

Sonya: Everybody uses someone for something. All things we do are to fulfill a need or want. I also believe that everyone should be of use to somebody.

Lerona: No..i dont play with people hearts n mind that can get u hurt..

Christie: I admit I did, once in college. For about three or four days. The guilt was so much I just finally broke down and told him I didn’t like him that way. I haven’t done it since, I couldn’t live with myself.

Tasha: “Used” is such an Ugly word – I like to think of it as an mutually rewarding exchange of goods and/or services, where EVERYONE benefits … <3 … so that would be NO !

Jacqueline: I have come to the realization that I HAVE used men for sex. Sex has always been on MY terms sooooo. {unless we were in an Exclusive relationship}. I am not sure how you can “emotionally” use a person.

Ebonie: I had a girl friend who tried to convince me to try and use this guy financially and I couldn’t! I mean he would do anything I asked, but I wasn’t into him! I felt sooo bad because I’m really not that type of person. I said never again will I attempt to do that.

Porsha: Laaawwwddd have mercy at one point I had Mr. Fix It, Mr. He Sho Can Get It, Mr. Mechanic, Mr. Good Convo, Mr. Cuddle, and Mr. Take Me Out/Pay For Everything & Not Ask Any Questions. Lol it was GREAT!!!!

Doni: Yes i have and no I didn’t feel guilty about it. Sorry

Monica: Well, I didn’t think it was using at the time… but I let a guy take me to Germany for a week after only going on 2 dates with him… Well, halfway through that 12 hour flight on the way there I realized I did NOT like him like that… I spent the entire week getting him on wine at dinner so he’d pass out before he got a chance to try to put the moves on me. lol oopsie

April: I don’t have a boyfriend full time. When I need sometime to listen I go to 1 of 2 guys. Sex have a guy for that……date, have a guy for that..just makes Isht easier. A far as financial things, I never ask for anything but I do enjoy the gifts.

Takara: I had a sponsor who was older in my early 20′s. He took me shopping, on trips, and gave me whatever I needed. I left b/c he started acting crazy! I didn’t feel guilty b/c he was fun 2 be around especially when he drank. But I knew I had no intentions of being with him or giving him any.

Vanessa: You can use a man for sex and not break hearts. Lol believe me alot of men dont mind being used for that and I thank them for their cooperation and service

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Women are hardwired to become more attached and to be more sensitive. So, naturally, we’re predisposed to getting burnt. Because of this, many women can begin to form a hard shell. They can start to think every single guy will burn them and so they think that being a jerk is fair game, and the only way to win this game called “The Singles Scene.” But, that mentality is all wrong. Just because everyone else lost their morals somewhere between the frat house and Vegas, doesn’t mean you should too. Your only shot at attracting a nice guy is by being nice. So get ready to be burnt, but also possibly find love, and stop with these heart-protecting tactics.