All Articles Tagged "understanding men"
In recent years, I’ve managed to accumulate more male friends than female friends and I noticed another change taking place alongside this change: my dating life and relationships were getting better. Why? Because the plethora of men in my life were teaching me—either through their actions, which I observed regularly, or through their direct advice to me—a lot of valuable lessons about the male species. I became not only better at luring in the men I wanted, but weeding out the ones that, in the past, would have wasted my time. Here are the top gems of knowledge my guy friends have given me.
Men can be just as sneaky as women. They speak in metaphors all the time. In fact, they prefer them to straight out telling you what changes they want made. And usually, they’ll use another couple as a reference point to send you a subtle signal. Here are common things your man might say about another couple, and what he’s trying to tell you.
Have you ever noticed that the day you swear off men, the day you decide to dedicate all your attention to your career/social life/whatever—men come swarming to you? It’s not bad luck. And it’s not just you. There’s a psychology behind men being attracted to women who aren’t into dating. Let us break it down for you.
Women always think about the subtext of any text they write, of the underlying message of anything they say, and of all the possible ways something could be construed before they open their mouth. Why? Because they know that the woman they are talking to thinks about those things too. It’s a strength in a way, but can also cause problems. Men, on the other hand, pretty much just mean what they say. They’re about getting the truth out and moving forward. They don’t mean any more, or any less, than what they say. But since women are so accustomed to reading into things, some things men say can come off very rude! Like these.
Next time you’re cursing men, ignoring calls from your mom who will just ask why you’re not out on a date, and brushing off your shoulders while trying to stay positive after another humiliating and/or horrifying experience in the world of dating, just take comfort in knowing you’re not alone. These crappy things happen to just about every single woman at some point. Think we’re lying? Just check this list of stuff all the single ladies go through.
As you struggle through the confusing, turbulent and dizzying world of dating, you’re going to have a lot of people and situations to analyze. But, analyzing is exhausting, and it can get you hung up on someone you should have walked away from a long time ago. So know this: the answer to any situation can usually be whittled down to one of these universal truths about humans.
Men may seem like they don’t want to communicate, and that they definitely don’t want to communicate about relationships, but there is one guy that would be happy to chime in on your love life—your dad! Dads aren’t solicited enough for love advice, when they can be a wealth of knowledge. Here’s why:
We might call men self-centered, insensitive and narcissistic at times, but it’s those exact traits that can make their lives so much less complicated than the empathetic, constantly analytical female. Here are a few ways it would benefit women to think more like men.
“Are you mad?”: a question men ask often but really don’t need to ask at all. They can tell by the narrowing of our eyes, our sarcastic tone, or our bursting tears that they’ve upset us long before we even tell them. But men can be less obvious about their emotions. They don’t wear their feelings on their sleeves but more like deep back in their closets. And they can harbor resentment over something you did or said for a long time without you ever realizing it. They do this because they don’t want to start “drama.” But wouldn’t you like to know when you’ve hurt your man?
Even though men are more straightforward communicators, often stating exactly what they want in tangible terms, versus women that think in broader terms (a man asks, “Can you make me pizza?” a woman thinks, “Can you make me dinner without me asking so that I know you love me?”) we still don’t have them all figured out. But a little science and statistics can decode that hunk of testosterone lying next to you.