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With all the messages we receive from the media about love and what it’s supposed to look and feel like, it can be hard to know what your own feelings are telling you or how they’re misleading you. If you’ve ever wondered whether or not you were in love with someone, see what some of our Facebook followers have to say about themselves and how they know when they’re in love.
Shena: When your pride doesn’t matter..

Christinas: As soon as I see him, all of the stress of my day instantly melts away like it never happened.

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HonesTEE: My ex gave me a single rose out of a bouquet that he gave to a girl i went to school with #TrueLife. When I asked her why she only had 11 roses and where she got them from… we put two and two together that day.

Lisa: Getting nothing, not even a “Happy Valentines Day Hunny”…Nothing and then he wants to say, “Oh, you know I love you”, “Hey! Why are you mad?!”

It’s no secret that love is a powerful force. It causes us to do and say things we’d never expect of ourselves. And though we live in a society that is hyper concerned with the way people look, love has the power to make you overlook physical imperfections and see a person for who they are inside. With that in mind, we asked our Facebook followers if they’ve ever fallen in love with a man they initially found unattractive and whether or not they thought they were capable of doing so. See what they had to say. 

Nyah: not that he wasn’t attractive but that his looks didn’t pull me before his personality….

and he isn’t bad looking it’s just he isn’t some pretty boy

Dana: it depends on how unattractive i think he is to start with. but the more time you spend with someone the better they start to look to you.

Annette: Yes, and have. He was exceptionally smart, funny and that’s a turn-on for me.

Denise: Yes, he was sooo unattractive, dressed nice though. And he really though he was the ish. I think it turned me on too bcuz he was a basketball referee and a smart man overall. But ooooh he was ugly!!

Monique: I have. He was very slim. I used to tease him and draw stick figures and say it was him. After talking with him, loved his humor and overall personality. We dated for 5 years. My “type” of men was broadened by dating him.

Laurie: absolutely! he was and still is a wonderful, hard working, generous, caring man.

There’s this myth going around that women cannot get along with one another. Well it’s not entirely true. Yet, there are still a handful of women who’d prefer to hang out with men than women. We posed a question to our Facebook followers and some of those people made themselves known. See what they had to say. 

Khadiji: Just watched all the females burn each other and I said all guy friends from there lol. I have one female friend who is acting right. But I do prefer guy friends

Honey: I can be friends with anyone. I am extra cautious of women who don’t have ANY female friends because they are too messy. Humph, like recognizes like!

Eriline: Male .. There is always some kind of drama with Females.. Often jealousy..

Ebonie: I would definitely rather have guy friends. Females are catty by nature friend or not.

Arielle: Yeah we’ll ill love to have female friends if their mature and have similar goals. Usually guys always want sex with me.

Cherilyn: Female friends can be jealous and backstabbing but now even men can be worse than women…You have to try to keep a positive circle…male or female!!

Tess: Oh my! Male friends all day! Females are competitive, messy, and don’t often have your back…as they claim.

I have maybe 3 good female friends, and that’s about it. I don’t like the ‘look at me’ drama.

Marilyn: I prefer guy friends because I’m a tomboy and not into girly stuff

Tami: I don’t mind female friends, but I definitely prefer male bosses. Women can’t stand competition. You would think we would all stick together, but that is exactly why there are rarely women as a majority in management. We sabotage ourselves.

LaRhonda: Men are less judgmental

Deidra: In my early 20′s I was all excited about my friendships with men because I was fascinated and really just wanted to learn all I could from their point of view. Until then, I’d never been able to speak or behave freely w/ the opposite sex. Someone should have warned me that men in their 20′s don’t really want to be my friend, and can offer no valuable insight on how to carry a mature relationship. LOL.

Brandi: I prefer males friends because they are less emotional and don’t judge. Females have a lot of insecurities (me included), but I always have a better time hanging with men, plus I get to learn how and why they think and act the way they do. And females are nosey as hell! They think they are entitled to know ALL your business. But men don’t understand things the way women do so you need your girlfriends some times. Good friends are hard to find.

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In the history of relationships, men and women have told their fair share of bold-faced lies. But since this is a women’s site and women are much more willing to share, we asked our Facebook followers to tell us the worst, whether morally, emotionally or just plain ridiculous, lie they’ve ever heard from a man. See what they had to say and once you’re done reading, feel free to share the worst lie you’ve ever heard in the comments section.

Jerisa: That he was paying our rent and in actuality he was saving his money to move without telling me, while I was pregnant with his child

Toy Toy: That’s my ex wife but we live together!

Martha: I was giving her a ride to school, ROTFL!!

Tori: His parent Died.

Takiyah: I have roommates & the house is a mess… That’s why you can’t come in…

Valencia: He wasn’t married and only had 2 kids. Negro had 5 by 4 different women Lmao! Guess his a&$ couldn’t count lmao

Alexandra: I aint gay! I was choking and he was giving me the Heimlich”

Betty: my doctor says I can’t have sex because I have a heart problem

La’Donna: The child he seemed to be babysitting frequently was a friends, when it was actually his baby: by his niece…….

Bear: I slept with all these women to make sure, you were what I really wanted. And it took all that for me know I love you.

Mississippi: “The barber shop was crowded that’s what took so long”…I guess he forgot he went to the barbershop the day before..

Tiffy: That he used to be a dancer with Ginuwine in the clubs of Atlanta O_o.

La-Quita: Baby I know we’re supposed to get together today but my mama at the nail shop & she asked me to bring her a soda, she thirsty.

KO: omission..umm when I married you..you knew of 1 kid..but in reality I have one older & younger than him

Pamela: I am gonna rock ya world..don’t let this age fool ya…#epicfail

Vanessa: “I have stage two stomach cancer.” He isn’t going to chemo though, he claims he’s tired of going… Yeah OK!

Zuhra: I got a STD because my “THANG” touched the inside of the toilet bowel. FA REAL??!!!

Senita: I graduated from a private school in a rich white neighborhood” …actually, he was a high school drop out who lived in the hood all his life. When I was just casually talking to his mom – I brought it up -and she stopped. stared at me for a sec… fell out laughing. still not sure why he thought that was impressive-guess he took me for that type.

Joan: His daughter was sick and he had to drive from New Orleans to Shreveport to be with her. I ran into him into 2 hours after I talked to him.

Tynia: “My baby’s mama killed our son by throwing him over the project fence.” (The child was 8 years old…and very much alive.) The father proved to be mentally ill.

Carolyn: That he had a yeast infection and not a STD dumbest thing I ever heard.

Latosha: I only want to put the head in…

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By now, January 3, you ‘ve thought about the year that just passed. Hopefully, as you reflected you found that the year was full of more good than bad; but even if that wasn’t the case, there was definitely a lesson to be learned from it all. We checked in with our Facebook and Twitter followers to see what they had to say about the lessons that they’re going to take into 2013. 

Tracy: Not to worry or stress over things I have absolutely no control over…..learning to let go and truly trust God!

Bernadette: You can’t pray and worry. Pick one!

Rachel: Physical and mental health is imperative for a successful happy life.

Melody: That if I don’t love and care for myself, others won’t either.

Robin: Last year I stopped hiding myself from the world and enjoyed my fullness, my loudness, my sassiness and make no excuse for who God made me…. I love it!

Monique: The value of money means nothing after losing a loved one. Living in happiness and peace is now my goal in life.

Shakeda: Always trust your instinct!

Tuere: A very wise, deep brotha told me that everything serves to further. Our triumphs keep us inspired, our mistakes are supposed to teach us and help us grow. Even the “bad” things that happen are supposed to be calls to action for us. They are there to get our attention. No matter the outcome, it ALL serves a purpose. Even if he only came into my life to deliver that message, he was a blessing for me.

Gerilyn: Don’t hold back life is truly what u make it, embrace ur God given gifts nd believe they’ll carry u through

Evita: That one sentence can change your life forever. My six-year-old son was diagnosed with Medulloblastoma; a brain cancer. He was a normal kid and we had no signs. I used to complain about my life being mundane before and now I WISH I had that “mundane” life back. Appreciate what you have now; you never know how long you’ll have it.

Mahalia: I learned that yeah your heart will be broken a couple of times. But you shouldn’t stop loving because a couple of bad people abused the privilege. Keep an open heart and you will find true happiness nothing is wrong with you!

Sheena: No matter who or what comes into your life, putting your children first will always bear the richest rewards! God blessed you with the gift of a child, so cherish, love and nurture it and He will never turn his back on either of you!

Nosi: When going through adversity there is always a break through!! Key word THROUGH.. meaning it wont stay like that forever.. It will get better.

Deborah: Follow your gut whether it is a good gut feeling or an uneasy gut feeling. That gut feeling is The Holy Spirit covering you in all aspects. Follow your gut it will not steer you wrong. Trust me!!!

Tynesha: To have boundaries and keep them, learn when to let people in a keep them out.

Bwann: ….Never log on ‘Worldstar.com’ as the level of ratchettness can slowly kill your brain cells and cause you to search online for more fuckery resulting in severe damage to your brain (frontal, parietal and occipital) lobes and cause memory loss!!

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Asya: Got pregnant & hid my pregnancy for 8 months…smh

Dava: Not rebelling a little bit. I think if I had allowed myself to live a little I wouldn’t have gone so buck wild when I got to college lol

Alisha: One night stands

Renee: Thought I was a gang member in my own gang with no back up lol Some funny years I tell you.

Persia: At 16, I ran and hid in a closet of this guy I was dating when his dad came home early from work. Then I jumped out of his window from the 2nd floor. His friends were watching me from next door and one of them became my next boyfriend. I was just ignant…yes ignant.

Raquel: Thought I was in love and gave the idiot my virginity.

Elle: caring what others thought

Anneke: When I was a college freshman, my friends and I would walk on campus (temple university in North Philly) at all times of the night. One time we followed these guys to a party off campus…we were dumbasses

Karema: Getting fired from my Job at the movie theatre for giving hook ups. Charged a dollar for damn near everything on the menu lol

Kimberly: Cut school, got drunk, came back to campus (like a dumbass) and passed out in security’s arms. Thank goodness for my sisters getting my back and hiding me and helping me sober up before my mom came home.

Ava: Thought I could have straight pubic hair by perming it and well it’s not straight anf barely there…smdh

Nata: Gave myself to someone so unworthy of me at 19, lost my virginity, got pregnant and got an abortion….sad but I am wiser and stronger now.

Hasani: Did not attend high school graduation.

Kwellin: Hid things in my house for my ex that could have gotten me sent to prison.

Mimi: I used crazy glue on my hairweave!!

Mississippi: The stupidest thing I did as a teen… Was be afraid to be myself. Worrying about fitting in. I look back all the people I tried to fit in with are a bunch of has been bum Beyotches. I think to myself when I see them randomly “wow I was real dumb”… As Auntie O says “your ah ha moment.”

When you truly care about someone, you have their best interests at heart. And that means that you tell them the truth about how it is, even  when it’s unpleasant.But sometimes, the people we love and care about just are not ready to receive that truth and instead of listening to our words of wisdom or taking our opinion with a grain of salt, they completely lash out and stop speaking to us entirely. It’s a common occurrence among women, so we asked our Facebook and Twitter followers, if this had ever happened to them. See what they had to say. 

Beth_anne: yes. That she was acting crazy trying to get knocked up “because mixed babies are cute.”

Eartha: Yes! Her man started hitting her in front of me I was like wtf! She was like Calm down this is what we do. Told me to leave!

Yvette: Yes. Telling her to stop restarting and just follow a path because she could no longer live the way she had. We’re barely friends now.

Ashley: I told my dearest friend that she had a serious drinking problem, was verbally abusive and racist while drinking, and needed to get help so she would stop driving with her daughter in the car while drunk. One night I was the designated driver and she kicked me out of the car and left me stranded on the side of the highway because I wasn’t ‘fit’ to drive her car and ‘black music’ wasn’t allowed to be played in her car. Needless to say we don’t speak any longer..

Meena: Yep. Major fallout on vacay in San Francisco. My ex-BFF was so narcissistic, rude and selfish. Once I told her it went all bad, haven’t spoken to her since.

Terria: Yes I did. A friend was about to marry someone she only known for 6 wks and met online. I told her it wasn’t a good idea and she needs to think about it

Erica: I told her to not get knocked up AGAIN by her alcoholic, DUI repeat offender boyfriend and apparently that made me a judgmental b*&^h.

Robin: I’ve been in this situation, and it was over a man. My best friend had her own place, car, money and was going to school to be a nurse. The noodle that she was messing with had no job, no money.. He was living off of her. Needless to say our friendship was ruined because she didn’t want to hear the truth and he didn’t like me.

Deanna: Told her to stop using her child as a pawn against the dad,because it wasnt right,and it would come bk on her… she let me have it,haven’t spoken to her in over 12yrs…. Smdh…..

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The assumption is that women are emotional creatures who can’t possibly separate feelings from the physical act of sex. We know that that’s not necessarily true, so we checked in with our Facebook friends to see what they say to say about the topic, whether or not they can successfully engage in casual sex and when they realized they could or couldn’t do it.

Rolanda: When I got older and “needed” to release tension. No harm no foul as long as both parties are ok then it should not be an issue

DaGeneral: I am not able to have casual sex. I realized this in 2006 after casually dating throughout college. For me, vajayjay is a prize to be awarded to someone extraordinary. And most are just ordinary.

Lourdes: I can do no problem I learned that sex and emotions are two different things in my late 20′s I’m 41 now.

Natalie: Casual sex=casual STD’S, and drama. I am too valuable to jump from random to random. Single and not having sex till my king finds me and puts a ring on it. LADIES KNOW YOUR WORTH!

Willona: I use to be, before my son was born. I didn’t care but now I don’t want him thinking its ok to have casual sex and there are too many things going on today. Not all men are honest about being single or wanting to casually date. Also there are a lot of DL brothers.

Janell: just because you have “casual sex” dont mean you doing it with everybody catching everything….and don’t know your worth!!! get off your high horses seriously…to each his/ HER own!

Yolanda: To each her own but I grew up knowing, believing and understanding that my body was God’s temple and not a donut shop! Casual sex, never had the urge. I was always too busy elevating my life’s worth and enjoying all of the other blessings which were STD risk free! IJS.

Sharon: What Rolanda said. After my divorce — sex with a dude I knew for some time. I wanted to feel Hot and desirable. He went to work on my body! Yes sir!!

Nakina: ust the word “casual” sex, makes me think as women, we should not be having just casual sex anyway. Our body is a jewel and to me when your sleeping with casual people you are allowing men to put all their, issues, drama, inside you. In other words, u are allowing them to deposit “garbage” all up in you, when it’s casual b/c u don’t know them well. Honestly, I can’t do it! Im a woman of sensitivity, love and I would get attached to easily. To me sex is to be shared between two people who love each other. So how can u not get attached, women who have casual sex with no emotions, I think maybe, lacking some kind of emotions

Satheriea: Come’on its approaching 2013. I can/will & have made a consecious decision to have casual sex with someone. It’s just that ! casual sex. As long as I know it and so does he, for most older women it may have NOTHING to do with” self worth” or insecurities but EVERYTHING to do with taking care of an immediate need that does not have to be followed up on.

Derricka: I’ve tried it and even though I had a good time , emotionally I’m not built for it. None of us are, for real. It takes some serious in securities to keep that kind of a relationship going.

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Andrea When I got my bill from Sallie Mae.

Ashley When the stuff my friends did in high school and college was no longer cool as an adult

Quichea When I stopped caring about what people thought of me and stopped fighting with my children’s father. I moved on and toward Christ. I became a better mother, friend, daughter and woman. #thanksbetoGod

Kelli  When I was 28 I quit the job I hated and packed up to start over in a new city. Best decision I ever made!

Tonya My momma always said, “u ain’t grown til u on yo own.” So, I became grown when I had to pay every bill in my apt PLUS rent all by myself. I was 22 years old then.

Jay When I learned how to take responsibility for and accept myself.

Nettie The day my mother died in 2006….

Tonia When I suffered my first miscarriage…..

Maria When I buried my husband. I was 29.

Nica When I had to get my “grown A$$” up @ 3 am to warm up a bottle for my screaming baby 22 yrs ago. Def don’t miss that

Tevina  When I gained the admiration and respect of other grown women.

Deborah  I realized that I was officially grown when, sometime after 40, I saw there isn’t anything that I truly own worth more to me than the love from my children.

La Janee I realized I was a “woman” when I was able to be honest with myself about certain things in life. I was able to critique myself and deal with my own issues. I became a woman when I started to deal with certain things that were previously weighing me down. I learned to accept my flaws and love myself. Now that I am doing that, I am definitely grown and can hold my own. Life is so much better! <3

O.b. When I took over care of my brother who has a disability because my parents couldn’t get their act together. I was 24 and he was 22, and 11yrs later, I am still on it. #goodsistersrock! (:

Pamela  When I divorced my abusive husband and was raising my three boys all alone.

Tawni After I learned who I am, and how to take care of me.