All Articles Tagged "true life"
Money is sensitive subject. And we all know how love makes us act. So what happens when you blend the two. We asked our readers at what point in a relationship would they consider loaning your partner money. We got some really interesting responses. See what they had to say.
Silky: I’m too compassionate so I can’t really say…smh
Bianca: After the wedding
Samantha: …When all the money is shared.
Erica: After marriage and that would be because we will keep our finances separate. And yes, a promissory note must be signed and notarized.
Ameenya: I’m married and we don’t loan each other money because the money is both ours it doesn’t matter who’s pocket it’s coming out of.
Yolanda: Never. I have a real complex about loaning people money, especially if they don’t use it for what they asked for it for; doesn’t matter if they’re blood or if we’re in a relationship…it would have to be an EXTREME situation.
Sabrina: Maybe after he loaned me some of his money! Lol
Kimmy: Heed the warning, never loan a dude money. Swipe his metro card for the train tho.
She’Ron: Y’all putting all these standards on whether y’all would, should, or could loan the money…but if these are the standards y’all use to determine this…isn’t that the standard you should use to determine whether they are “relationship worthy” and if not, why be in a relationship with them?
Camille: Never he’s a man and needs to figure it out! Women do it everyday…
Yomaira: Lol what? After marriage?! Yall all sounding single as heck. What kind of relationships ya’ll in that you don’t trust your partner to loan them money?!
Ella: When I realize he’s good with money and will not make it a habit. I don’t deal with humans who borrow.
Sandra: Gotta be able judge their character. For example, do they pay their bills on time, have a savings account, etc.
Sincerely: grrr… even in marriage I want to keep my finances separate.. it’ll be an ours, then a his and mines thing. LBKS (Laughing but kinda serious?) I think if your partner is good/responsible enough to mate with and is a mate of their word in other parts of life, it’s no problem loaning money.
Tea: My bf lent me money after 3 months for a family emergency and I was able to pay him back after a month. We are very close and have each others back. So I say only lend money if its important.
Nicole: Never. I’d give it before I loan it.
Vicki: Never…I can give you $20 though…lol
Shelly: After he dead in a coffin or crypt or urn.
Latia: Um . . .what part of the game is that? When you are in a serious relationship no money needs to be borrowed because you have each other’s backs.
Kenya: In the month of Neveruary!
Sonia: I would loan the love of my life money if I had it and he needed it. It’s about the type of person they are. If they are untrustworthy, unreliable, irresponsible then no, but if they are responsible are in need then yes. The time frame depends on how long it takes to prove they are those things.
It’s a classic debate. Grab the bull by the horns and go for what you want or let a man be a man and wait for him to show his interest and ask you to go out on a date. It’s a tricky one. We asked our readers if they’d ever asked a man out. And for most of the respondents it turned out pretty well…like marriage and babies well. See what they had to say in the stories below.
Gabrettee: Yep. Turned down once. Still good friends with the other.
Latoya: I have. He was cool with it cause he was like I never had a woman take me out on a date. Told him u been messing with the wrong woman. Lol I like to make him feel appreciated
Things are different these days when it comes to dating. We asked our readers if they’ve ever been out with a man who asked them to pay for the date. See what our Facebook friends had to say.
Roz: Left him there with the entire bill
Pretty: No man has ever “asked”. Some have assumed I knew d be paying for my portion. I don’t mind paying for my own, but of you asked me tp go out with you, you better have enough to cover us both or we won’t go out again.
Audie: No, I can’t imagine being bothered with any man that cheap.
Erica: I paid MY share & let him know that there was no need to ask for a second “date”. If you’re attempting to court me, then you need to pay for the date. I “hang out” with my friends, not suitors.
Ncognito: I was tricked into buying dinner. He ask me out, we met up, and so happens he left his wallet. Yeah right, that was the first n last time I seen him n paid for a meal.
Natasha: A man has never asked me to pay but I have paid especially if I really like the guy because I think its a nice gesture!
Vesta: Yes. We are now divorced.
Faren: When I’m in a relationship I don’t mind paying for a date but if we’re just dating I’m not paying.
Elaura: Nope never had that problem when on a date the person who asked should pay. Now if I ask for you to go out with me I wouldn’t mind but most of the time he pays.
Atisha: First dates should be coffee type date. A way to get to know the person without distractions, i.e., movies.
If he can’t pay that then boy did I choose wrong!!
Ella: It happened once in 2002, but its because his card was declined. I paid for dinner and the movie. lol No I did not see him again.
Karema: He didn’t ask. We went to the movies and he reached in his pockets and said I don’t have enough then looked at me with a stupid look on his face. That was the first and LAST date we went on…. Also ( and this is gross) he popped a pimple on his face and reached into my bag of popcorn that I bought and started stuffing his face. I just gave him the bag, I was too disgusted.
William: If you really vibe with someone it should never be an issue. You both mutually invest in one another and treat each other from time to time. I wouldn’t trip about him not having enough to cover, I would examine why he didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell you the truth before you were out in public.
Ashley: I was told that I had to pay before we even went out… He didn’t have a car and had to take the bus.. So I agreed to meet him but stood him up
Gloria: Sure. Once I grew into maturity I absolutely loved going ‘dutch’ or paying for the whole date (especially if it was my idea). I believe in equality between the sexes – socially, politically, and economically.
Moneka: I had a guy ask me out to dinner,and once we got to the restaurant he told me that he didn’t have any money. Welp I ate he didn’t. And that was the end of that.
Nia: When we first went out, yes, I paid for my portion of our date. I was raised to do that by my parents. My dad would say that way your date won’t expect you to do anything after the date! Lol! That was 20 years ago. My then date is now my husband of 17 years. He said that it impressed him that I paid for my portion and in future dates had no problems paying for his sometimes.
Fifth: I was asked to dinner by a man….this was date number 3 actually. The check came & he asked if I could pay for my portion. Instead, I paid for us both. I really did not make a big deal of it because times get tough for us all occasionally. He never called me again even after I sent him a couple of “hello” texts. I do feel that the person who asks the other out should pay out of courtesy but chilvary should not be totally dismissed either.
North: Depends on the true nature of the relationship. I have exes that are like fam. I also have exes that ain’t. It all depends.
Karma: It is if you have something going on behind your new s/o’s back.
Sometimes in relationships, it’s just better to trust your own instincts and judgement because even though they may mean well, family and friends can often be way off base when it comes to matters of the heart. We asked our Facebook friends and Twitter followers what is the worst relationship advice they’ve ever received from friends and family. You won’t believe some of the outrageous things people had to say, trying to lend a listening ear and helping hand.
#iamtrayvon: My aunt told me if I walk in on my husband in bed with a woman I should lay down in the bed in the same position as her so I don’t lose him
Ơ̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴̴͡ ™: “Off with his head if he lay his hands on you” #TrueLife (my dad quote)
This was a tough one. Typically, our True Life questions get tons of responses; but today, crickets. Apparently didn’t want to incriminate themselves on Facebook, so the answers were a bit sparse. But sparse doesn’t mean wack. Check out some of the stories below.
Most of us would agree that being in love is a beautiful, wonderful magical thing. It’s lovely. But when you take the plunge, make a commitment and decide to share your life with someone else, that comes with some adjustments. Though, most of our readers would never want to go back, they also had to admit that there are some things about their old single lives that they miss. See what they had to say.
Denise: Hanging out all night long#TrueLife
Valencia: Space! It’s like I love my guy! But damn smothering much! Back up! Give 2 weeks to myself lol
When I came up with the topic for today’s question: Did an creepy, older man tell you that you had blossomed, I thought about my own experience of an inappropriate, older man telling me, at around 10 or 11 years old, that my a$$ was fat. I remember thinking at that moment that something had changed. Men wouldn’t see me as a little girl anymore. And even though I spent much of my childhood trying to be grown, I didn’t realize that for a lot of men, a woman is nothing more than a sex object. I knew that I surely wasn’t alone in this experience but I didn’t realize, until I was reading your stories how prevalent this issue is and how as one reader put it, referencing The Color Purple: “A girl child ain’t safe in a family of men.”
Sharai: Of course! there was always a creepy old man like that. it made me feel disgusting and extremely self conscious.
Sharon: Yeah…he was the son of the woman that used to keep/babysit us….the same creepy bastard that snuck in my room at night. He said a lot. Done a lot. May his creepy A$$ rest in pieces
It’s tell the truth Thursdays around here. And today we got really personal. We asked our readers if they’ve ever had a pregnancy scare or found out their birth control wasn’t working. We know that this experience is pretty common but we didn’t expect to hear the responses we received. Check them out below.
Tevina: Yes. A few. I went to Planned Parenthood.
Michelle: One the condom broke. ..and I had to goto PP as well…
People are no where near perfect, so it’s only natural that throughout our lives we will be disappointed, time and time again, by many of the very people who are the closest to us. Disappointment doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to cut people out of your life though. It all depends on the infraction and whether it happens repeatedly. But we wanted to see what you, our readers, had to say about the last time they were disappointed. See what they shared.
Richelle: I disappointed myself by not learning from my past mistakes. Can’t be mad at anybody but myself for being back in the same situation. I have forgiven myself.
Tevina: One of my best friends.I have forgiven her. However, the relationship has changed. We have grown into two different women.
Angel: A so called friend of mine. I forgive him because he didn’t know a good woman when he had one by his side, even though we never dated. Real recognize real and he was fake. Forgive but never forget!
Loca: My mother, I’ve tried many times, but she just continues to do the same crap, so I’m good.
Sharon: OMGoodness!! I invited my girlfriend to a show tonight. My treat! That bytch stood me up. No call — nothing. How hard is it to say “I can’t make it”. #Heffa Yes, I can forgive, but when is the question
Nicole: My father. The love of your parents is suppposed to be without conditions.
Audrey: My brother, who I was extremely close to, my two cousins that were like sisters to me. All have alcohol or drug problems. They tend to say things when the are in black outs and when confronted, they have NO idea what you are talking about. So serious conversations cannot be had. Sooo, the decision has been made: NO toxic people in my life. Forgivenes will come, but never full trust.
Monique: An ex. He don’t know no better. His mama raised him to lie.
Ebony: Myself. I questioned my self worth based on the way an ex treated me.. I forgave myself but now I’ve got to work on forgiving him so we can have a good co-parenting relationship for our son.
Janeen: My son cause he won’t grow up. I have to forgive cause he is every bit of me.
Leah: Two people actually. They simply were not there when i needed them to be. Because of what they did im some place i never planned to be. I don’t speak to them over that. It disappoints me because i never thought they would do that. Now i know you cant be nice to everyone
Eva: My Love, and I have forgiven him because he is the best thing that has ever happened to me and people make mistakes. The juice is worth the squeeze
Monica: I found out the man I was living with and engaged to was married. He told me he was divorced he used the passing of his child as a reason to go back to his wife impregnant her with twins and abandoned her to come to the state where I was living to marry me. When that fell through he wanted me to come live with him in another state. Eventually I relocated after it got hard to find work where I was living. After that I dealt with not only finding out about the betrayal but cheating, abuse, lies and my heart is broken. I find myself at times in these weird conversations with him. He is back with his wife I moved out of the apartment we shared. I am facing a serious medical issue that could be life altering. God says to forgive I have it’s the hurt the emotion the fact that he is a pig. I have suffered violence abuse neglect I just want to feel how I feel know its like I know that can’t happen and the idea that he would follow me on Facebook made me block him. I’m dealing with my hurt it cuts deep
Yvonne: My husband he died two years ago. I know it’s not his fault but I was and still am very disappointed he is gone