All Articles Tagged "thirsty men"
The Thirst Is Real.” Is it? Isn’t it? These days, “the thirst” has become a ubiquious term showing up everywhere from Frank Ocean’s tweets to ratchet reality shows. But what is the thirst? In our series “The Thirst Files,” we decide to share stories and essays that communicate one angle of the thirst whether it involves a woman who develops a sexual addiction or a married man who stalks for affection via the internet. Just so you know, we’re not taking ourselves too seriously here but wanted to take a more focused approach to understanding this thing called “The Thirst” lol. Enjoy this third installment and let us know what other angles of the thirst you’d like to see explored.
There was a time when what is totally acceptable in this day and age would have gotten you 20 to life in a maximum security prison surrounded by water on all four sides. It’s shocking to me how these thirst-sponsored activities have become normalized. I say this with the sincerest of hearts: Facebook, and the Internet in general, has made us all crazy.
I’m not proud of this but I was born in a time many of you may not recall. Scientist refer to this period as “the 80′s.” The nonscientific community classifies me as an “80′s baby.” The 90s, right around when the Internet was coming of age, dominated my impressionable years. Yes, I am old enough to remember a time when the Internet did not exist. In Internet years, this makes me practically Jurassic, which means in the minds of many young people, the fact that I lived before the Internet is equitable to me walking the Earth at the same time as dinosaurs. Regardless, this impressively expansive coverage of chronological periods has given me some perspective.
Back in my day, if you spent 26 hours of a 24-hour day following your X around, this activity would be widely frowned upon. Actually, you would be labeled a “crazy person” by most observers and might even be arrested. This is no longer the case. Today, it is widely accepted – and in some cases even encouraged – for people to follow the every micro-movement of their current or past girlfriends/boyfriends. As best I can tell, Facebook’s entire platform is based on the premise that most people are inherently narcissistic, self-centered, and yes, crazy. These neurotic symptoms are matched only by their penchant to want to monitor the narcissistic, self-centered, and crazy habits of their peers.
Many social media sites survive on magnifying the worst of us. For example, before the Internet realized the horrors of this activity, many social media sites had a little thing called “visitors.” Visitor counters monitored who visited your site and how often. This allowed you to at least see that your X visited your page 39 times in the last 15 minutes. You’ll notice this feature has largely been removed. Thirst-like activities exploded exponentially, easily by 1,000%.
Now men and women are free to monitor whomever they choose for however long they choose. People can spend an entire workday angrily monitoring their X or stalking their favorite video vixen on Twitter, Instagram, or World Star Hip Hop. You know who you are, bro.
While scientists believe the fastest thing in the universe is the speed of light, they have obviously never witnessed the speed one moves when they are tagged in a photo that their current significant other would not approve. I’ve seen people leave office meetings to remove themselves from a less than flattering photo on Facebook. That should be the true measurement of speed. I assure you it is far more accurate and relatable. How far is the nearest galaxy?
“The nearest galaxy is 7 Tyrone’s tagged in his x-girlfiend’s birthday photos that he wasn’t supposed to be at in the first place because his new girl don’t trust that [female dog].”
Question ladies: If a guy who you found an interest in or thought was fine told you that he had a girlfriend, what would be your next move? If you are a little on the scandalous and ratchet side, you might pretend you didn’t know and pursue him anyway (which would be a Joseline from “Love and Hip Hop Atlanta” thing to do…). But a majority of women looking to avoid drama would probably say “no thanks” to a brotha like that. So what’s the deal with men not caring about your relationship status when they try and spit game?
Tell them you have a boyfriend when they didn’t ask and they’re ready to play a game of 21 questions with your a**: “Where’s your man at right now? Are you happy?” “What’s your man got to do with me?” Okay, the last one was all Positive K, but you get the idea. HANDS DOWN, the funniest parts of these conversations are when the guys try and pretend they want to go the friend route with you, just so they can find a way into your life…and your underwear: “It’s cool that you have a boyfriend, but you could call me and tell me things you don’t feel comfortable telling your man.” Oh, really? I’m going to tell a complete stranger my deepest and darkest secrets, huh?
Just the other day while finishing up a walk around my neighborhood, I was enjoying the sun and the solace of walking alone when some fool stepped directly in my line of vision at a stop light, scaring the crap out of me. After complimenting me on my hair, I said thank you quickly and proceeded to walk on. Sadly, he thought that was an invitation to walk with me.
“So do you live around this neighborhood?”
“No.” (Lie by the way, but I wasn’t going to tell him that)
“Oh okay, I live a block from here. I also own my own business and work for myself. I’d like to get to know you better, would that be possible?”
“I’m sorry, but no. I have a boyfriend. You have a goo–”
“Really? How come your man isn’t walking with you now?”
“Uh…because he’s at work. Shouldn’t you be at work???”
This conversation went on for a few more minutes as I had to politely find a way to tell him that no, I couldn’t take his number and call him or vice versa because that would be cheating, and in the end, I’m not interested. But when I got home, after thinking that I needed to start being more stern and ignore these dudes altogether, I couldn’t help but turn my head to the side and ponder that this was the umpteenth time that I had told folks I had a man, only to have them defensively question the respect he had for me, his intentions with me, try and make him look as sh***y as possible and say they could be a good friend…or replacement companion. But hey, I know I’m not the only one who has dealt with this overly-aggressive fella.
While hanging with the homies, a girlfriend in a long-term but long-distance relationship was approached by a male friend of mine that she was meeting for the first time. As we all sat in his car riding to our next destination for the evening, the two found they had a lot in common: they worked in the same field, and had similar interests in things that would make most want to fall asleep standing up. Feeling that she might be inadvertently leading him on, she found a slick way to let him know she was taken: “Oh you studied in ___? So did my boyfriend.”
Clearly thrown for a loop by her statement, my male friend didn’t back off from his interest in her, and instead tried to find a way to make her question her own relationship: “But your man isn’t here…he can’t hold you at night you know what I mean?” I was mortified. And if that wasn’t enough, knowing he and her boyfriend studied at the same school, he said something that made things a lot worse: “The white girls at the school, they love black dudes. Ask your man, I’m sure he knows…”
Not only was she highly irritated by his behavior, she made sure to let me know that this guy was the hottest of messes, and she wouldn’t want to be bothered with him again. He was sure to tell me that he was just joking with her, but she found none of his jokes, or his pursuit of her, funny. If that’s not enough, I’ve got a co-worker whose been with her man for three years, and while he’s away for work, one of the couple’s friends, who clearly knows she is taken, keeps trying to get at her. But hey, that’s another story for another day.
I’m not saying all men are like this, but it’s really interesting to me that the whole boyfriend and girlfriend idea doesn’t impress or stop men from trying to move in on you. Folks have no shame. Seriously, nowadays guys don’t even ask you if you have a boyfriend when they’re trying to holler, they go straight to husband because I’m guessing that is the only thing that might make them slow their roll: “Aye sweetheart, how you doing? You married??” I guess it just always boggles my mind because we live in a world where every time you turn around someone or some statistic is trying to remind you that there are more women in this world than men, and chances are, it’s going to be hella hard for you to find a good one. But if men have a bevvy of options of chicks to lay or love, why go so hard for one woman passing you by on the street, especially the one who is taken? Beats me. But as always, it’s just a thought…
Have you noticed this?
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