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The Thirst Is Real.” Is it? Isn’t it? These days, “the thirst” has become a ubiquious term showing up everywhere from Frank Ocean’s tweets to ratchet reality shows. But what is the thirst? In our series “The Thirst Files,” we decide to share stories and essays that communicate one angle of the thirst whether it involves a woman who develops a sexual addiction or a married man who stalks for affection via the internet. Just so you know, we’re not taking ourselves too seriously here but wanted to take a more focused approach to understanding this thing called “The Thirst” lol. Enjoy this third installment and let us know what other angles of the thirst you’d like to see explored.

There was a time when what is totally acceptable in this day and age would  have gotten you 20 to life in a maximum security prison surrounded by water on all four sides. It’s shocking to me how these thirst-sponsored activities have become normalized. I say this with the sincerest of hearts: Facebook, and the Internet in general, has made us all crazy.

I’m not proud of this but I was born in a time many of you may not recall. Scientist refer to this period as “the 80′s.” The nonscientific community classifies me as an “80′s baby.” The 90s, right around when the Internet was coming of age, dominated my impressionable years. Yes, I am old enough to remember a time when the Internet did not exist. In Internet years, this makes me practically Jurassic, which means in the minds of many young people, the fact that I lived before the Internet is equitable to me walking the Earth at the same time as dinosaurs. Regardless, this impressively expansive coverage of chronological periods has given me some perspective.

Back in my day, if you spent 26 hours of a 24-hour day following your X around, this activity would be widely frowned upon. Actually, you would be labeled a “crazy person” by most observers and might even be arrested. This is no longer the case. Today, it is widely accepted – and in some cases even encouraged – for people to follow the every micro-movement of their current or past girlfriends/boyfriends. As best I can tell, Facebook’s entire platform is based on the premise that most people are inherently narcissistic, self-centered, and yes, crazy. These neurotic symptoms are matched only by their penchant to want to monitor the narcissistic, self-centered, and crazy habits of their peers.

Many social media sites survive on magnifying the worst of us. For example, before the Internet realized the horrors of this activity, many social media sites had a little thing called “visitors.” Visitor counters monitored who visited your site and how often. This allowed you to at least see that your X visited your page 39 times in the last 15 minutes. You’ll notice this feature has largely been removed. Thirst-like activities exploded exponentially, easily by 1,000%.

Now men and women are free to monitor whomever they choose for however long they choose. People can spend an entire workday angrily monitoring their X or stalking their favorite video vixen on Twitter, Instagram, or World Star Hip Hop. You know who you are, bro.

While scientists believe the fastest thing in the universe is the speed of light, they have obviously never witnessed the speed one moves when they are tagged in a photo that their current significant other would not approve. I’ve seen people leave office meetings to remove themselves from a less than flattering photo on Facebook. That should be the true measurement of speed. I assure you it is far more accurate and relatable. How far is the nearest galaxy?

“The nearest galaxy is 7 Tyrone’s tagged in his x-girlfiend’s birthday photos that he wasn’t supposed to be at in the first place because his new girl don’t trust that [female dog].”

The line for this particular train is crowding the platform, thousands of females waiting to board with ticket and camera in hand. You know what I’m referring to, yes? The Great Thirst Trap Train. You’ve seen them: the self-shot camera pics of females everywhere from as young as 14 to only God knows how old seated not-so-comfortably on the edge of the bathroom sink, a trick used to make their rear end look even a fraction of a cheek larger. Or how about the back shot photos taken in elongated mirrors, their bodies contorted to get the exact angle at which their hips, booty and legs look most poppin’?

Throw in an outfit made of nothing but bra and panties (or now more frequently, no clothes at all) and photo captions/song lyrics like, “Body like heaven,” and you’ve got the perfect example of a tried and true thirst trap. A thirst trap is a photograph, status, tweet or the like that aims to entice men and result in compliments galore.  I’ve found that it’s a sexually-motivated social networking tactic that attention-starved young ladies use to boost their self-esteem. Then, once men begin to respond sexually to your photos, they are deemed the “thirsty” ones, “pressed” or overly eager.

Let’s take a step further into this craziness, shall we? I’ve seen girls post statuses (under the guise of “Facebook After Dark”… REALLY?) about how they “like to ride it backwards.” Then, they follow the subsequent drive-by of likes and downright illicit sexual questions posed by horny young men with LOLs, <3s and smiley faces. But if the same young men begin to blow up their inbox, they are now considered “thirsty” and need to chill. And while some men take disrespect to a whole other level – which is NOT okay any way you slice it – this whole phenomenon still blows my ever-loving mind sometimes. Where do we draw a line for ourselves as women? Especially since I’ve seen all sorts of casually sexual behavior stem from these kinds of interactions.

With the growing number of x-rated photos (and videos) girls as young as 14 and 15 are tweeting, posting on Facebook and Instagraming – I’m wondering where (if anyplace) we’ll start setting boundaries for ourselves? Are we going to keep pushing the envelope for the thrill of seeing that little red Facebook notification seconds after we post a bra-busting photo?

I’ve gone weeks with less than five Facebook notifications, informing me that some guy has ‘liked’ my photo. When I was but a wee college freshman  it used to bug me because I saw all the “sexier” girls getting so much attention. My self-esteem was outwardly validated then, so I would wear a shorter skirt and arch my back like an alley cat. That got old really quickly when I realized the kind of attention I was drawing. And not all attention is good attention. Forget what you’ve heard. Learning how to be comfortable in my own skin (and a full set of clothing) gave me confidence, so no matter how many Instagram/Facebook likes I may or may not get, baby I’m good. And honestly, a confident woman in a jumpsuit in her wall photo can be more attractive than a broken woman in a brassiere any day of the week.

There is room to love your body without advertising your goodies. And when you really think about it, why would you want to give away full view of your “assets” to a bunch of men who’ve done nothing to deserve even a peek, let alone the full Maxim spread (and I do mean “spread”) that so many females plaster across the Internet?

Your worth isn’t wrapped up in social networking notifications. It’s in how you view, carry and love yourself. We each set the tone for how we are ultimately viewed and treated both on and offline. So let’s button one more button and think twice about our destination before paying our fare to board The Great Thirst Trap Train.

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