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As close and in love as you may be with your current partner, I think it’s safe to say there’s something your partner doesn’t know about you. While I believe that most couples should have little to no secrets between them, revealing too much or digging up the past that has no bearing on who you are today may be irrelevant, and cause unnecessary drama in your relationship. All couples are different, and if you feel your union is so strong that it can sustain anything that you divulge about yourself, then great! But if you don’t feel obligated to reveal everything there is to know about your life, here are a few things we feel you might be able to keep close to the vest…with a few caveats of course.

The secret lives for most of the teenagers I meet every day is actually a lot more intense than any show in ABC Family’s spring line up. Today’s teens are growing up faster, and the truth is, as liberal and open- minded as I think I am, in all my years of teaching sex-ed I still find myself holding up a dropped jaw at the stories I hear about teenage sex lives.

Yes, get over it.  Your teenager has a sex life, and honestly it’s probably a lot freakier than yours.  And can you really blame them?  Beginning with the onset of puberty, your teen is in a daily battle with hormones that are working full-time to convince them to do everything you’ve forbidden them to do.  Combine that with a culture obsessed with “Gym, Tan, Laundry”, teen moms and a plethora of pretty and perky teenagers who engage in some very adult (and sometimes illegal) behavior and you’ve got enough pressure to make President Obama nervous.  But in their defense, in the conversations I have with my students, as much as I hear about their experiences with oral sex and ice cubes, how Trojan “Fire and Ice” really does tingle and detailed descriptions of how semen tastes, I hear just as many stories about responsibility like practicing safe sex, leaving an unhealthy relationship or all of the reasons they’re choosing NOT to have sex.  Parents have a tendency to think the worst, and honestly some assumptions are spot on, but more often the condoms you found in lil’ Deandre’s schoolbag are because he wanted his friends to think he’s getting more play than a Wii nunchuck, when he actually has never gone farther than a French kiss.  Give your kids some credit.  I’m a witness to how your advice and guidance make a difference when it’s needed the most.

The worst thing you can do is assume that all hope is lost after your child posts an incriminating Facebook status. It’s not the end of the world. But every now and then, your child may find themselves in rough waters that they truly believe they can navigate; although, you can clearly see the tide is about to take them under.