Dear Luv Coach,

I am young and this guy and I were friends until people assumed we were together. I guess he kept letting it get to his head so he stopped hanging out with me so him and his homeboys call me names and things. It hurts my feelings but I get over it. Some days he’s nice some days he hates me. Now any time I mention a new guy I meet to any of my friends he sucks his teeth and rolls his eyes (He always denies he likes me. MY FRIENDS THINK OTHER WISE) It’s hard for me to be happy all the time when he comes around. It’s like I’m happy with new guy friends and he comes around being mean and arrogant. I’ve been nice to him but he’s using all my niceness up. He might get a side of me he won’t like. He asked his friend what he thought about me and his friend looked dead at me and said I make him sick…..I knew he was talking about me because his friend looked my way. luv coach can you help me? I want to be with some one who loves me for me, who doesn’t disrespect me…..HELP!!!!!!!

signed…hopeless in the love department

This week on The Luv Coach, Coach Brody advises a woman whose looking to get back into dating after so many years in a relationship. Read on and weigh in:

Dear Luv Coach,

I am a 34 year old mother of two, who after a bitter break up with my fiancé/father of my children finds herself now ready to get back in the dating world but I really don’t know how. Although we broke up 3 years ago, I took some time and reveled in singledom. I lost about 140 lbs, got my career back on track, purchased a home and moved to a nice suburb on my own. I committed to celibacy to get my mind clear and my body whole. I do go on a few dates from time to time but I feel like since I left the man I dated since I was 14, I have no idea how to handle men. I don’t want to have a purely physical relationship, but I also don’t want to pay for the mistakes that other women have done to men. I really don’t like the impersonal vulgarities of texting or random emails from men who really don’t want to do more than talk on the phone or exchange e-mails in order to boost their egos. How exactly do you date in this day and age when it seems all people want and talk about is sex?

-Nancy

This week on The Luv Coach, Coach Brody advises a woman whose husband is handling how to balance his obligations to his child and his wife. Read on and weigh in:

Dear Luv Coach

My husband and I married 5 months ago after 5 years of dating and things are going well, with the exception of one thing…. his baby momma. The entire 5 years we dated, she made my life a living hell. She spread rumors that I threatened to abuse his children, claimed that they were still messing around, etc. She has made it no secret after all this time she is still very much in love with my husband and based on past history, would stop at nothing to see us split. Herein lies the dilemma. She has not shared with their child that we’re married and has told my husband in order to see his child he must come to her house and their child is not allowed to come to our home because my husband will not provide her with an address (the reason he won’t tell her where we live is due to issues with her in the past).

I have made it very plain to my husband that I don’t feel comfortable with him being alone with her because of the way she feels about him and past drama. He on the other hand argues he is going over there for his child, not her and that I am trying to prevent him from seeing his child. I argue he doesn’t have to sit in her house to do so, if he can’t come here, why can’t he pick him up and they do something together?? Simply put, I dealt with 5 years of disrespect while we were dating, I am not going to deal with a lifetime of disrespect in my marriage, so I told him spending time over her house means a death certificate for our marriage…. Am I wrong????

-Brandy

My situation is a bit complicated in that it involves a 1.5 year online long distance relationship where I had lied about my online profile. I told him the truth in September and suffice to say it didn’t go down well. He said about a week after I told him the truth that he doesn’t mind being friends but that there is no chance for us to be more in the future. I am not sure if he said it out of anger/hurt at that time or if he really meant it because even looking at our relationship objectively, he truly was in love with me to the point where he was going on interviews to move to the country that I said I lived in.

We are finally back on talking terms since November but it is very casual and indifferent and that is why I think trying to rebuild trust by way of doing the friends route is not working.

So I was planning on apologizing again but this time focusing on him and making sure that he understands that I have taken these 3 months to really try and understand what he feels. I would like to tell him that I still have feelings for him and hope for a future together but that I understand that trust takes time to be rebuilt and that the decision is his. But I’m not sure if dredging up the past is a good idea either. It’s just that I feel that the situation is urgent because he is slipping away.
-Alice

This week on The Luv Coach, Coach Brody helps a woman who is struggling with her sex life in light of her husband’s obesity and his lack of interest. Read on and weigh in:

Dear Luv Coach,

I am a 46 year old, recently re-married woman who has a problem. My husband has recently gained so much weight that he’s unable to perform sexually. Even before the weight gain, our sex life was less than satisfying to me, but I dealt with it because it was part of the package. To top things off, his daughter and grand-daughter recently moved in with us, so there isn’t much chance of us having a romantic evening together. I was single for so long, it is very hard for me to want to stay married to him. Right now I am the only one in the house working, so that adds another layer of frustration on this situation.

In all honesty, I am not physically attracted to him. I am not aroused by him, but one reason I got married was to be able to enjoy a healthy sexual relationship. I have asked him to work out with me, or even go walking with me. Nothing. I have encouraged him to have surgery to begin the weight loss process, nothing. The last time we tried to be intimate, his stomach got in the way, if you know what I mean?

I just want some suggestions about what I can do to keep myself from going crazy and perhaps some ways to find relief from this situation. Thank you.
-Lauri

This week on The Luv Coach, Coach Brody helps a woman who is confusing sex with love. Read on and weigh in:

Dear Luv Coach,

I’m 23 years old and I have a 3 year old daughter. I’ve been with the father of my child for 10 years and he has been incarcerated for the past 3 years, set to be released in June of next year.

The thing is I’ve been sleeping with my next door neighbor for a year and I’m madly in love with him. He also has a 3 year old daughter and our kids play together. When we first met he told me that he was not interested in a serious relationship and was no longer with the mother of his child and I believed him. A few months later I found out that they were still a couple and were living together but when I asked him if this was true he denied it. He then came clean and said that they were working things out for the sake of their child and that he still wants to casually sleep with me.

He has said on many occasions that he doesn’t want me seeing anyone else but he knows that I will be with the father of my child when he gets out. We still plan on sneaking around when my boyfriend gets home but I want more from him. The way I feel for him I’ve never felt for anyone else – not even the father of my child but he just won’t commit to me and I can’t trust him.

Recently at a party I got into a confrontation with his girlfriend because they were making out in front of me and I felt disrespected because he saw that I was there and acted like he didn’t care. He vowed to never speak to me after that incident but that was because the bi*ch was there. A week later he was at my door and we’re now sleeping together again. It seems like he’s never going to leave her alone and I just can’t continue seeing him if he doesn’t but I don’t know how to let go because I really love him. Should I stay and hope that he changes or just leave him alone?

-Melody

This week on The Luv Coach, Coach Brody helps a woman who gave so much more than she received. Read on and weigh in:

Dear Luv Coach,

I have been dating this guy for the past 3 years. I’m 23 and he’s 22 . We’re both in college and he just got a job after being unemployed for a year and a half. During his unemployment I took care of him, paid all his bills, fed and clothed him. Recently he said to me that only his parents were there for him when he was out of work but the thing is that his parents never helped him financially; his mom couldn’t afford it and his dad always got upset when he asked him for help.

Now that I’m unemployed and need his help he always has to say how much I need a job because he needs to pay his bills and buy clothes for himself before he can help me. I’m so confused and disappointed because for a whole year I didn’t buy myself anything so that I could support him. We have not been intimate in a month because he complains of how tired he is but then goes out with his friends all weekend.

He says that we want different things and that now is not the right time for us, but I love him. Should I stay and hope that he changes or move on?

Denil

This week on the Luv Coach on Madame Noire, Rebecca Brody helps a reader find herself again. Read on and weigh in.

Dear Luv Coach,

I have been married a little over a year to this man who I love deeply. The problem is that he is not interested in sex with me anymore since he came back from downrange. He doesn’t want to get help and he thinks everything is OK. I have done and changed any and everything he asked of me to maybe get him to want me, but now I have lost myself. I do not know where to begin to find ME because I am afraid that it will turn him away even more. What do I do?

-Candice

This week, The Luv Coach helps a reader define her boundaries between her male best friend — and his jealous girlfriend. Read on and weigh in with comments below.

Dear Luv Coach,

I’ve been best friends with this guy for years. But (there’s always a but) every time he has a girlfriend he disappears! When we were first starting to become friends his girlfriend got jealous and called me because apparently he mentioned me too much. I felt bad for her because she sounded sad so I assured her I never wanted him. He’s like my big brother. She never jumped boosie over the phone. I got mad at him for giving this other girl I didn’t know my number. So while in class the next day she starts texting me crazy. My first response was “I’m in class.” Then came the B word. I hold my temper a lot but I do not respond kindly to not being called by my birth name. So she got cursed out and I said some things about her insecurities. Ever since then we’ll talk once in a while then he’ll disappear. Should I stay his friend or spare the drama?

-Dkendra

This week, Coach Rebecca Brody helps a reader determine how her potential lover really feels about her despite his dire circumstances. Read on and weigh in.

Dear Luv Coach,

I have a very complicated love issue. I have been sexually involved with a man named *z*. We have been “friends with benefits” since April of this year. We are also members of the same church! Shocking huh? Anyways, we have excellent chemistry together with or without the sex. I would love to pursue a relationship with him and he with me (at least that’s what I think) but he is homeless and I don’t think a relationship is on his mind.

I hate seeing him out there like that and I will do anything for him just to keep him afloat. That’s just how much I love him. I guess my question is… How do I decipher if I am someone that he desires just to get by in this phase in his life or am I really someone that he truly cares about or really loves? Am I just playing myself short?

Please help me!!

-Necarrus