Source: OWN

I remember when I first got my Kindle, I went crazy buying books.  One of the good things about Kindles are that you can read the reviews before you purchase the book.  So when I went to look up some of Iyanla Vanzant books, there was a review that surprised me.  One reader talked about how they lost respect for her and questioned her credibility when during one of her shows with teen girls who were prostituting themselves, she had Karrine Steffans to talk to the girls.  Because of that one act, this reader completely disregarded all of the positive things that Iyanla has done for people (though the review was written in 2009).

No one’s past is spotless, and no matter what your intentions are, you might have a small blip on your background that could cause people to call your credibility in question.  Especially when you gain the notoriety of fame.  Some people have been able to rise back up after the hard hit of public opinion, while others have stayed down.  Let’s look at a myriad of these professionals.

Source: Bonzal Daily

I could totally melt right now. But, for the sake of this article, I will attempt to get my life. With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, EBONY Magazine  is celebrating Black love in an amazing way. The iconic publication released their February issue with three special edition covers, honoring the subjects of this month’s cover story. Bishop T.D. and Serita Jakes appear on one cover, T.I. and Tiny Harris appear on another, DeVon and Meagan Franklin appear on the other.

In this issue, instead of simply interviewing the couples, the men were given the opportunity to compose some really beautiful love letters to their leading ladies. Check out the heartfelt letters below.

Bishop Jakes to Serita:

“What started as an idea between two young people who fell in love and dreamed about the future has burst into the effervescence of reality. As time has gone by, it has been amazing to watch you bud, blossom and bring forth fruit. The fruit of that love, that wisdom and that tenacity have been the nectar that has nurtured me as a man and made our children who they are.  I take this occasion to thank you, to water you with my love and adoration, to fertilize you with the season of our experiences, hardships, tests and trials, which have brought forth the blossom of love that we so cherish. My life is better because of you. My heart is stronger because of you, and it beats at the memories, at the moments, at the affections that we have shared. My partner, my lover, my friend, my wife. Thank you.”

T.I. to Tiny:

“I let you know how much I love you all the time. I want to make sure it’s known on a day-to-day without me saying it. I don’t want to wait for one special occasion or a day. I want to make sure that everyday the sun rises and every evening the sun sets, you have a firm understanding of my feelings.”

DeVon to Meagan: 

“I’m amazed at how incredible God really is. How incredible that He chose me with the blessing and privilege of loving you. You are my true love. I can absolutely say I started living when you came into my life. Each day, I’m so grateful I can love you and be loved by you. Our life together has been a whirlwind so far- the best time of my life- and we’re just getting started! Thank you for breaking me out of my box and showing me what real life and love is all about. You helped me become whole as a man because you’ve helped me love. God has used you to heal me, and I will forever be grateful. I still don’t think you fully understand how amazing you are. You have a brilliant mind. I love the way you think and how creative you are. You are so strong. I love how you are a reservoir of power and courage. You are so thoughtful. I love how you are so fiercely compassionate and caring. I’m glad to be with you and that we’re in this together. No longer do you walk alone, and when you get tired, you can hop on my back. I will always accept you, always pursue you, always delight in you and always fight for you…”

Aren’t these some of the sweetest letters you’ve ever read in your life?

Check out the next page to see the cover shots and more photos from the issue. 

thinkstockphotos.com

Everyone who comes into your life is either a blessing or a lesson. I’ve had my share of both, and in essence, everyone was a blessing since the lesson is the blessing. I never regret a relationship. I do sometimes regret my own actions that may have hurt another person, but in any relationship that goes sour, if nothing else, it has taught me what I don’t want in a mate.

I’ve learned a bunch of lessons that when applied make me much happier and at peace in my interactions, yet one of the most simple, and least followed pieces of advice I’ve heard is this.

Things that leave you feeling bad, do less of. Things that leave you feeling good, do more of.

Many of us live in the moment. We convince ourselves that even though the relationship has brought us more bad than good, Mr. or Mrs. Right Now will suffice for the night, or the month, or the year.  And when we do end the dreaded fiasco, we find ourselves back in his or her life one Friday night when we had nothing better to do.  We convince ourselves that although nothing good has ever happened after 2am, tonight will be different and so instead of going home to bed, we have one more drink, locate the number that should have long ago been deleted, and send that text.

I’m guilty of falling victim to past loves like a drug addiction I just can’t shake.  But any recovering addict will tell you, the greatest struggle is in the mind.  In order to get over an old habit, you have to replace it with an equally satisfying good habit.

It’s not enough to simply learn a lesson. We have to find practical ways to apply it if we really want to see change in our behaviors.  My last love affair ended because I didn’t see a long term future in the works for us. Let’s call him Omar. I enjoyed him in the present, but I knew the present was all we would ever have. My problem was that when the weekend rolled around, as much as I wanted to be the woman who had plans since Tuesday, I simply wasn’t, and boredom often got the best of me. I would call Omar, spend the evening with him and wind up feeling drained and let down after it was all said and done. “What? I did this again?” was a recurring question I asked myself.  Whether the question referred to dinner, a movie, or sex, I scolded myself for allowing him to linger in my life.

So like a good parent, I took away my own privileges.  I call when I’m vulnerable, lonely, or bored, so the quick and easy way to eliminate that possibility was to delete his number. Done.

Secondly, I decided to make a list of the bad qualities in Omar and all of the reasons I decided to end my relationship with him as a reminder to not go back. I tucked that list under my pillow and read it every night before I went to bed. After time, the bad things were all I could remember and those feelings of desire subsided.

Lastly, I made plans for myself to fill my downtime doing things I loved and was interested in doing.  I signed up for a free class to hone my creative side. I found fun events to attend in the city, even solo.  I made time to reconnect with old friends and family who really had my best interests at heart.

I’m not an member of the independent woman, “I don’t need a man” club. I enjoy men. I prefer to have one in my life, if it’s a relationship that edifies me.  But one last great piece of advice I heard from TD Jakes is this: When the man of your dreams does find you, let him find you …busy.

Herina Ayot is a freelance writer living in Jersey City by way of New York.  She tweets @ReeExperience.

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Madame Noire was treated to a packed star-studded cast at the Los Angeles premiere of Sparkle last week and got to catch up with some of our favorite personalities like Loretta Devine, Bishop T.D. Jakes, Lisa Raye and Kem. Check it out!

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Despite their current economic woes, Detroit may begin to see some light at the end of their financial trouble tunnel.

“Sparkle,” the original 1976 cult movie starring Irena Cara, Philip Michael Thomas and Detroit native Lonette Mckee about a musical sister act in 1960’s Detroit, has been approved for $3.1 million in Michigan film incentives for its remake.

The Sony Pictures movie, which has not yet been casted, is in pre-production and will likely start shooting this fall in Detroit. Directed by Salim Akil, who helmed this spring’s romantic comedy “Jumping the Broom” will join forces with producers Debra Martin Chase; megachurch pastor T.D. Jakes and wife, Mara Brock Akil, who were creative partners on the popular BET series “The Game.” Producers expect to spend about $7.4 million in the state, according to the Michigan Film Office.

Read full story here

Are you excited about this remake? Who would you cast in it?

Have you seen “Jumping the Broom” yet? What did you think?

You know Madame Noire stays out and about, right? So of course we were at the “Jumping the Broom” LA premiere! Check out the exclusive interviews we got with the movie’s stars, producers and director! Oh and we snagged Boris Kodjoe’s gorgeous self for a quick interview too. He was there to support his fellow actors.

Watch the video above!

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