By Taylor Lea Thomas

Source: herecomestheblog.com

Question:

Color schemes that are in this year???

Taylor’s Answer:

Dear Miss Trendy,

Black. Black. Black. All black everything. Actually, the color scheme of modern black and white has become extremely popular. There are even black wedding dresses! Vera Wang designed one herself (stay tuned). The modern black and white color scheme is very chic. As a matter of fact, when we meet with clients for the first time, we always give the bride our signature white roses tied with a black satin bow and adornment wrapped in clear black & white damask sheets. Here are a few ideas using this new black and white trend:

Black invitations with color: This invitation design is a very easy DIY project that just takes a little time and effort on your part. Purchase black damask design card stock from a craft store such as Jo-Ann’s (my personal favorite as it carries an extensive array of textured papers) or Michaels, etc. Fold in thirds, glue one side to secure it all and use a half inch wide satin ribbon in your wedding color to bring the entire look together. You can accent it with an adornment or simple crystal. Print out your invitations on a high quality card stock paper and insert. It’s super classy, very modern, oh-so-chic, and an affordable DIY invitation.

All-white furnishings with black accents: Create a lounge for your cocktail hour by renting white sofas/chairs and tables very inexpensively and accenting them with black pillows, lamps, etc.

Color with black accents: Whatever your wedding colors are, accent with black using black napkins or vases, and to make it pop, use lots and lots of candles. Candles create a very romantic ambiance, and it’s one of the very best secrets for designing on a budget because candles are so inexpensive.

Overall Modern Black & White Damask Wedding Design:  If you really want to be trendy and have a modern wedding, go all out with the black and white theme. When combined, the look is amazingly sophisticated. In addition, it can actually save you a lot of money since most venues use white table cloths and napkins which come standard, so all you’d have to get are black accents. Color rentals are more expensive than just white.

Black wedding dresses: Okay, okay. I know this one might be a bit of a stretch for more traditional brides who envision walking down the aisle in white, but black wedding dresses are in. Vera Wang, the undisputed queen of wedding gowns, unveiled a black wedding gown during her 2012 Bridal Collection at New York’s Bridal Fashion Week. And think how slimming wearing black is. It’s genius!

Photos courtesy of Elite Soirée | Luxury Weddings

More on Madame Noire!

• That’s My Cousin! Famous Black Celebrities Who Are Related
• Why I’m Concerned about Lala and Her Fake Full Court Life
• Before the Money, Honey: Women Who Stood By Their Men Before and After the Fame
• Where Are They Now? The Cast of “A Different World”
• Confessions of a Loud Black Woman
• Is He Dating Other People? 7 Signs You’re One Of Many
• Trayvon Martin, His Witness and What We Should Be Teaching Our Children About Racism
• Should Black Folks Feel Obligated To Speak To Each Other?

By Taylor Lea Thomas

Question:

Any suggestions for a wedding gown design for a bride with a large bust, large bottom, wide hips and thick waist?  The bride’s prone to suddenly losing or gaining weight depending on stress/peace of mind!

Taylor’s Answer:

Dear Miss Va-Va-Voom,

My first concern is your statement, “The Bride’s prone to suddenly losing or gaining weight depending on stress/peace of mind!” Planning a wedding can become quite stressful due to the enormous amount of decisions to be made, dealing with the varying personalities of your bridesmaids and other members of your wedding party, and the dreaded guest list, among other things. When buying a wedding gown, it’s typically bought six months or more in advance. Your fluctuating weight will only serve to further add to that stress. Here are a few tips to make the wedding dress shopping experience a little less stressful and my wedding dress style recommendation for your curvaceous body type:

Avoid costly gown alterations due to yo-yo dieting: Get your weight under control sooner than later as you plan your wedding. I assure you, the stress will come and as your wedding day approaches, you’ll begin to feel that anxiety even more. Keep in mind that altering a gown can be costly, and if your weight keeps fluctuating throughout the planning process, you will constantly have to make changes to your gown during your various fittings so that it looks right on your body at whatever weight you happen to be at the time.

By Taylor Lea Thomas

You’re getting married and your mom is a super proud mother of the bride and revels in the title. Now that you’re in planning mode, you’re a little worried about the fact that she wants you to invite all of her friends, and seems to want to be involved in every little detail of planning your big day and letting you know what’s a good and terrible idea. Uh…No disrespect to your mother, because you want to include her in your wedding plans, however, you don’t want her to take over. Here are a few ways to help your mom feel important by involving her in your wedding planning without fear of her becoming your unofficial wedding planner:

• If your Mom likes being in charge, consider asking her to be the designated go-to person on your wedding day just in case something goes awry. Late participants in the wedding, guest issues–if she spots a problem, she’ll be the person to address it. Also, make sure to provide her with a list of the contact names and phone numbers of all of your vendors just in case one of them is running late or something needs fixing. This will make her feel very important, and of course, as mother of the bride, she is!

• Planning a wedding can sometimes be so stressful that it leaves little time for blending both families together unless you’ve been together for many years. Consider asking her to host informal family dinners for your future in-laws. It doesn’t have to be fancy and can be as simple as a barbecue, spaghetti dinner, Sunday dinner–whatever works, it’s just all about getting everyone fully acquainted and comfortable with one another. Perhaps, she can even prepare a special family favorite dish of yours to share with your groom’s family as a way of showing the blending of two families as one now. You’d love it and I’m sure your groom would appreciate your people making an effort to get to know his family better too.

• It’s easy for a guest list to get out of hand with people you haven’t seen or spoken to in years who expect to be invited. Sometimes invited guests RSVP with more guests than can allow. If you’re trying to narrow your ever growing guest list and need a little assistance for extended family members and others who may be offended that they didn’t get an invite, ask your mom to take on the daunting task of making that dreaded phone call to your cousins and crazy uncle. It will take the stress off of you, and you won’t feel the pressure to give in to “Can I come pretty please?” requests or any guilt trips by distant third cousins. Your mom might enjoy having that final say and putting her foot down for her baby. Awwww!

More on Madame Noire!

• Celebs Who Rode Their Famous Sibling’s Coattails to Success
• I Get it Now: Parental Wisdom That Took a Minute To Grasp
• No Child Left Behind: Can Having a Big Family Harm Your Children?
• Why I Question The Release of A Posthumous Aaliyah Album
• Getting To Happy: 7 Habits That Can Change Your Life
• Let Sleeping Dogs Lie: 6 Reasons Not to Go Back to Your Ex
• True Life: If I Could Say Anything to My First Love, I’d Say…
• Is The Black Standard of Beauty Giving You Low Self-Esteem?

By Taylor Lea Thomas

Question:

Any suggestions for a formal vow renewal ceremony complete with bridesmaids and groomsmen and traditional wedding attire?

Taylor:

Dear Miss I-Love-You-So-Much-Let’s-Do-It-Again,

First, it’s always so wonderful to hear about marriages that are thriving. Wishing you many, many more blissful years of marriage! You are to be commended. When a marriage works, nothing on earth can take its place. As a wedding planner, I love hearing inspiring stories like yours. Congratulations to you both.

Overall Vow Renewal Theme: “I Still Do.”

I like the idea of redoing your original wedding in a modern way. For your invitations, create one that allows for two photos side by side: your original wedding photo, and a current photo of the two of you all these years later with the invitation wording beneath. On the original photo side, write a sweet caption, something like, “I vowed to love you for better or worse.” With that, add the original wedding date beneath. On the current photo side, you can also write the caption, “I did. I still do. And I’ll forever do,” with the date of your vow renewal ceremony beneath. You can also incorporate the number of years you’ve been married as part of the theme.

If you have children, have each of them read a special passage or a heartfelt letter to the both of you – this would be especially touching if done during the ceremony in place of the Officiant’s or Minister’s typical readings. During the reception, if you have video from your original wedding, before your first dance together, lower the lights in the room and allow the video to play of your original first dance. If you have no video but you have photos, a slideshow would be just as touching to play. Upon its conclusion, the lights can rise again revealing the both of you dressed in the same wedding attire (or modern versions of it), dancing to your original wedding song. If it’s possible to have your original guests attend, invite them too. If they can’t make it, perhaps have them send a short video in to offer their recollection as a guest at your original wedding and what it means now to see you both celebrating your love for each other once again. As a gift to each other, in your wedding bands, engrave “I Still Do.” The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman’s heart.  May you be inspired…

More on Madame Noire!

• Celebs Who Rode Their Famous Sibling’s Coattails to Success
• I Get it Now: Parental Wisdom That Took a Minute To Grasp
• No Child Left Behind: Can Having a Big Family Harm Your Children?
• Why I Question The Release of A Posthumous Aaliyah Album
• Getting To Happy: 7 Habits That Can Change Your Life
• Let Sleeping Dogs Lie: 6 Reasons Not to Go Back to Your Ex
• True Life: If I Could Say Anything to My First Love, I’d Say…
• Is The Black Standard of Beauty Giving You Low Self-Esteem?

Question:

“Polite doesn’t seem to work but… how can you be straightforward about a STRICT NO KIDS policy at the wedding and the reception? Everyone seems to think you mean everyone but theirs.”

Taylor:

Dear Miss No-Kids-Allowed-At-My-Wedding,

Whether or not to invite children is a tricky situation. Here’s the good news for you: there are no rules of etiquette about whether or not to invite them – it depends on your own preference, which clearly is: “No Kids. Period!” Some people feel a wedding would not be complete without kids around, while others, such as yourself, see it as an adult occasion. Since you’ve already decided not to include children, it’s diplomatic to let people know verbally so that you can explain your reasons and avoid offending anyone. Don’t send it in a text, email, post on Facebook, and definitely do not include that on your invitations. Call and remind your guests that you don’t want to be a babysitter on your big day.

Keep in mind that some guests won’t be able to find babysitters for their children during your wedding and therefore won’t be able to come. But most important, you must remember that what goes for one should go for all. You cannot invite some kids (those of a good friend who says she just HAS to bring them) and exclude others (your cousin’s bad twins). The only exception to this could possibly be for your immediate family, of course, as it’s natural to invite little nieces and nephews in the wedding, even if you’re not having any other children.

If you do include children, think about ways to keep them happy. If there are quite a few children attending, consider hiring a wedding day babysitter to keep them entertained with activities so the adults can truly relax and enjoy themselves in celebration of your wedding day. You may also consider having a special children’s table at the reception complete with crayons, papers, toys and child-friendly food. Yes, there are companies that provide babysitting services at weddings. Or, hire a friend or family member who’s great with kids. But alas, if you still really don’t want kids around, be honest and upfront about it.

By Taylor Lea Thomas

Question:
“How can I lower the guest list without being rude? Invitations have not gone out but he and I both have big families.”

Taylor’s Answer:

Handling the guest list requires diplomacy, for sure. The size of your guest list is dictated by your budget. Take the time to have a frank conversation with your groom by asking yourselves, “How many people can we realistically afford to entertain?” If you’ve set your heart on a certain location, this may also limit the number. Each side should have a set number of guests to invite. Once you’ve set a maximum head count, don’t be tempted to exceed it. Don’t rely on a dropout rate either because you’ll be in trouble if all your guests accept.

The easiest way to fix this issue is to draw up a list for both of you with three columns: “Absolutely Must Invite,” “Would Be Nice to Invite,” and “Maybe” – then start eliminating names. Admittedly, this is a difficult process, but start by dropping people you haven’t seen for several years or just don’t keep in touch with very often. You’re not obligated to invite co-workers or a plus one for your friends. Most couples draw up their guest list with their parents which can certainly make creating the guest list even more challenging if parents feel their share of the list should be larger than you or your groom may like. There may be distant relatives they may want to invite for etiquette’s sake, while you’d rather invite more friends. Here are two possible solutions since you and your groom both have big families:

1) You can have a two-tiered reception by inviting a small group of your closest family and friends to the wedding, and have a party later in the evening to which additional guests are invited – there should be a separate invitation for the after-party because you can’t give everyone the same invitation and then tell them they can’t attend a certain part.

2) Or better yet, invite more people to the wedding, such as in a large church, and keep the party/reception afterwards more intimate. Also, though you might think it’s common sense, it’s good etiquette to send an invitation to your groom’s parents, and if you’re having a church wedding, one to the minister as well. Stay formal with things. On top of that, set a cutoff date for sending invites and send out invitations no later than six weeks before, and never less than three weeks before – your friend or relative may be insulted.

In the end, be honest with those you can’t invite if you can’t afford a large reception or a large wedding ceremony, and set guidelines with your parents so that they don’t try to invite everybody they want (and people you don’t want). Lastly, whatever you do, don’t get into debt by planning a wedding for more guests than you can realistically afford; it will only cause friction in your marriage two years later when you’re still paying off that massive credit card bill.

More on Madame Noire!

• Is He Somebody’s Elses Guy? How To Forget A Forbidden Love
• Face Off! Natural Beauty At Its Best!
• Think You’re Moving Too Fast? Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Slow Down
• Flower Power: Floral Prints – Get the Look for Under $100!
• Brotherly Love: Celebrity ‘Bromances’ We Like To See
• I’m Sorry, But You Can’t Put Your Biological Clock on Snooze Forever
• When It’s Not Worth Fixing
• Melanie Fiona talks GRAMMYs, Stank and her “MF” life