All Articles Tagged "hair"
Thick hair can be a blessing. It can pull off styles that look pretty amazing, it looks luxurious when well managed, and it’s the envy of everyone with thin, fine hair up there. They may not say it, but it’s the truth.
Still, having really thick hair doesn’t always feel like a blessing. In fact, it can feel like quite the burden. Every girl born with more than enough on top of her head has experienced everything from waiting forever for it to dry it after a wash day, spending hours upon hours at the salon getting it untangled, cleaned and dry, to struggling with home styling.
Like anything worth having, thick hair takes work. And even though your arms are exhausted and your neck can feel heavy, having thick, healthy hair is a great thing. It just doesn’t feel like it when you’re going through these struggles that only women with thick hair understand.
I know you read the title and already came to the conclusion that this is not just petty, but enough to win the title of Queen Petty of Pettyville. Still, hear me out.
A friend of mine met a guy not too long ago, and they hit it off quite well. He’s smart, funny and he is pretty handsome. Or at least he was. They have gone on dates every week for the last four months, spent a lot of time together and were making a lot of progress in terms of getting to know each other. And then summer came.
My friend lives in Arizona and you already know it’s hot all year round, but it’s become especially stifling now that the sun is ablaze. So, after months upon months of going strong with a full and very attractive beard, my friend’s prospective boo decided to cut it and let his skin breathe because he was sick and tired of being so hot. Unfortunately, the change was just a little too drastic. During one of our catch-up calls my friend said the change is so extreme, he almost looks like a totally different person.
“I feel like I’ve been bamboozled” she said as I broke out into a laugh. According to her, he is missing the sex appeal that his beard, well-kept and long, gave him. She knew all along that underneath was a sweet guy, but as she would eventually find out, a sweet guy with an “okay” face. She’s since tried to go on outings with him but feels like the fire is becoming harder to keep alive.
I know it sounds pretty ridiculous, the idea of someone possibly having a change of heart about a person or being less attracted to them due to a hair change. But, if we’re being honest, they haven’t known each other that long for such small things to end up being a big deal. And, considering that men give women all types of crap for major hair changes and big chops after meeting them with extensions and longer strands, it’s really not that absurd after all when you compare such esthetical changes.
And, if I may add, ever since #NoShaveNovember became a big deal a few years ago, many women have become pogonophiles and remarked on the reality that a good beard can do wonders for an average-looking guy. I mean, just look at NBA star James Harden (literally look up). There is all kinds of mystery going on behind his beard. When you get rid of it? Well, you end up with a guy who looks like the kid in high school who used to come around asking, “Where’s my hug?”
But at the end of the day, we all know that surface stuff is nowhere near as significant as the way a person, beard or no beard, long hair or TWA, makes you feel internally. I told my friend during our chat that while I could understand her feeling like she was sold a Benz and a car dealership pulled up to her with a refurbished Ford Pinto all of a sudden, it’s the ride that matters. And considering all of the things she told me before he cut his beard, he seems to be a pretty good catch. Plus, a beard can easily grow back. But a good man? We all know hard that is to conjure up…
But as always, that’s just my opinion. What do you say? Is it petty to be turned off by a major esthetic change made by a person you’re dating? Or are major changes in appearance not a good idea when you’re getting to know a person?
When I was pregnant with both of my daughters, I had heartburn most hours of the day — straight-up torture. With my first, I could eat a piece of dry toast, turn to the side and feel a wave of acid rising from the pits of my stomach. It wasn’t normal. I was convinced. Family members insisted, “Ooh wee! That baby’s gonna have a headful of hair!” I groaned, living in the moment, as I was the one suffering with each morsel consumed. When she was born, I saw that maybe that was some truth to the myth, my little girl emerged from the womb plump and rosy-cheeked with thick, curly, dark brown hair.
“That baby looks Spanish,” her father quipped a few days after. I rolled my eyes at him, “Ma says I had hair like that as a newborn too.” In the following days, houseguests came through to poke and prod at our first daughter in amazement. She was born light-skinned, with little slits for eyes and all that hair sitting atop her head like a winter hat. She hated when I washed and combed through it. She still does nine years later, which I find hilarious.
I was still relaxing my hair then but I’d decided years before having kids that chemical straightening would be their choice once they got to high school. As for me, I read up on natural hair care and vowed to keep mineral oil and other no-no’s out of my baby’s scalp. Her hair kept that texture until she was closer to one-year-old, which is the norm I believe.
She’d browned up, closer to her natural skin tone, which pleased her dad most of all because he liked to half-joke that when they were out together alone, running errands, people tended to stare “like I kidnapped her or something.” Her hair had begun to kink-up which pleased me most of all because I could start with my haircare regimen for her and stick to it since it was unlikely that my baby’s hair texture was going to change again anytime soon.
My own mother was all about adding waxy hair grease to my baby’s head and pulling her hair up from the roots to make her more “presentable.” To who though? It was the Blue Ivy Treatment, from my own family. By the time our little girl was two-years-old, it seemed everyone in the world had a tip or a suggestion about what I should be doing to and using on her hair. It was like I had an entire comment section in my face at family gatherings. I was Bey and she was Blue. And all I wanted to do was holler, “Don’t y’all have your own damn kids?”
It didn’t happen the same way with our second daughter. She was a chunky one too out of the womb, darker, with a headful of hair but her’s was bone straight. It was amazing. They looked alike but the details were so different. Down to the difference in hair textures, even as newborns.
She’s four-years-old now and while her hair has curled up a little, it’s been years of her dad asking innocently, “When is her hair gonna change?” The little one takes her hair from her grandfather who has a soft, loose curl. Who can ever tell with Black kids? We’re all so mixed up in our heritage but I’m pretty sure it’s the fact that she’s so dark-skinned that makes most people doing her hair, raise an eyebrow. Others, without a filter, will ask if I relax her hair. “Why your first baby — the brown-skinned one — got kinkier hair?” I usually act like I don’t hear the question. I just take care of my little girls and the hair that grows out of their respective heads, accordingly.
One of the best things about summer is the opportunity to get outside and enjoy the sun. Rooftop pool parties, lunches on the patio, dancing around at festivals, and tropical vacations give us all a much-needed opportunity to soak up some rays.
When you are in the sun, it’s important to stay protected. And your hair needs just as much protection as your skin, or it could suffer from summer sun damage and end up dry and brittle.
But how do you know that you’re getting a little too much sun to the point that it could hurt your hair? The signs of sun damage are easy to spot — if you know what to look for. Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. We’ve collected several surprising signs here. Plus, we’re presenting you with all the ways you can protect yourself while you’re enjoying the outdoors (without having to wear a hat).
Black women have always had a special relationship with their hair. We’ve all spent years having a love-hate relationship with it. Some days we fight with it, others day we turn heads because of it. But we all eventually learn to embrace it (or decide enough is enough and cut it all off).
And whether you wear it natural, you’re a weave chameleon or you keep it fried, dyed and laid to the side, Black hair teaches us a lot of lessons about beauty, about what our strands can withstand, and about the world around us. It’s true. Sometimes those lessons are for us, sometimes they are for the people around us. But Black hair always makes a statement, and part of the Black girl magic is being able to listen up.
What lessons has your hair taught you (or those around you)? Let us all know your black hair magic knowledge in the comment section.
Seven months ago I wrote about my horrifically dramatic big chop experience — you know the one that ended in tears and Popeyes. Since that time, I’ve only gotten a trim once, which I did at a Dominican salon back in February when my hair was blown out and, as I assumed at the time, that wasn’t necessarily the best decision for my curls. The trim made the bob I wore for two whole days look great, but when I went back to my normal wash n’go, my semi-asymmetrical ‘fro shape was pretty much gone and I’d definitely lost more volume than expected.
It’s for that reason that I’d put off my next trim for some time, despite the ragged ends that were poking from my mane every which way. I didn’t want to throw in the towel and get another $10 Dominican trim but I also didn’t want to fall victim to what I call the hater trim — you know the “shape-up” at (some) Black salons that’s more cut than trim with an expensive price tag to match? Eventually, one co-worker heard my woes and suggested Devacurl as a possible solution and, after doing a bit of research, I decided to give it a try.
The big sell of Devacurl is, as their name suggests, they’re all about curly hair — not just from a product standpoint, but in terms of styling. That’s why they use a method known as the Devacut in which they trim/cut your hair curl by curl while it’s dry in it’s natural state to ensure a finished result that better reflects clients’ expectations, rather than the historic “once it’s dry/straight/twisted out you’ll really see how your hair’s gonna look” approach most stylists have. That technique pretty much already had me sold because the last thing I wanted to do was sit in someone’s salon for three hours thinking I was getting cute, only to turn around and be pissed (and then not say anything to the stylist about it). Thankfully, none of the above happened.
For starters, there are two options for experiencing Devacurl: you can go to an official Devechan Salon for a service or choose a stylist from their list of salons whose been trained in the Devacurl cutting method. I chose the latter. When I arrived, Candace Witherspoon, the stylist I chose at Filamnent Hair Salon, sat me in her chair immediately so we could chat about my reason for coming in and my expectations. I told her I just wanted a trim — and most importantly not to lose too much hair — she told me she understood and the cutting process began. Instantly, I noticed a difference in the experience. Never have I gotten my hair done and been “allowed” to watch the process the entire time. I faced the mirror and watched Candace cut my hair for an entire 30-40 minutes, seeing her pull my curls apart, assess the overall shape of my hair, and cautiously make cuts here and there. Never was she intimidated by having me, the client, watch what she was doing and she welcomed the questions I had about deep conditioning routines and even her experience as a hairstylist.
After the cut, I was sent to the wash bowl where another woman cleaned my hair using the Devacurl “No-Poo Transformation Service.” This is basically a lather-free hair cleansing and conditioning process that’s followed by a section-by-section application of a setting product to bring your curls to life. I sat under a hooded dryer which, as an aside, was the most comfortable, non face-melting dryer I’ve ever experienced and the first I’ve seen that has a lower back with vents to evenly dry long hair, for about 35-40 minutes. (That’s also the shortest amount of time I’ve spent under a dryer without feeling like my skin was burning.) After my hair was dry, Candace had me flip my head over, rubbed some finishing oil through my hair, fluffed my ‘fro, told me what we were looking at was my natural curl pattern, and I was pretty much sent on my way.
Now I’ll admit at this point I thought, after applying edge control in the bathroom, I didn’t need to pay nearly $100 for that. After all, I’d been looking at my natural curl pattern for months and told my stylist I don’t really do twist outs. But then I thought back to my big chop experience and how helpful it would’ve been if someone had cut off my straight ends while my hair was dry so my expectations were better managed and then shown me my true texture and gave me a low-maintenance styling option for my particular curl pattern.
And even as someone who’s been natural for a little bit now, I must say this is the first time I’ve ever gotten my hair trimmed or cut and left feeling as though I have just as much hair on my head as before. There was no drastic transformation; just a reshaping, which is all I want and need as I grow my hair out and, honestly, that peace of mind was worth the money. I’m told (by a prior customer) that the cutting process will also help my hair grow out better and I do appreciate that my hair has more volume but is actually lighter on my head.
It’s for those reasons that I would suggest any woman thinking about dipping her foot in natural waters, take that plunge with Devacurl. What I appreciated most about the experience is that I still felt some control over what was happening to my hair, which is important for most women who truly treat their hair like their crown. But even if you’re in need of a cut and aren’t sure who to turn to, I’d encourage you to go to someone who specializes in curls. If I hadn’t I would’ve always been curious about whether I made the right choice for my hair and now I no longer have to wonder.
Have you tried Devacurl?
A couple of weeks ago I attended an intimidate dinner with five beauty and lifestyle editors and members of the Dove PR team to discuss their new “Love Your Hair” campaign. It was an intimate gathering of all Black and Latina women chatting about our various hair hangups and how we can get to a point of women feeling they have a right to love their hair however they choose to wear it — straight, kinky, colored, cropped, with extensions, etc. In the midst of uncovering all the barriers that keep us from doing just that, one interesting thing that came out of the conversation was all of our hesitancy to speak up when we don’t love our hair – not because of it’s natural qualities, but because we let a beautician have her way with us and didn’t like the finished product.
The client-stylist relationship is an interesting one. Like a visit to a doctor, when you go to someone else to cut, color, or style your hair you do so because they are an expert (and more than likely you’re not). But there’s a lot more subjective input on your end in a salon. When a doctor tells you you need blood pressure medication, there’s little room for argument. When a beautician tells you color B would look better on you than color A, which you had your mind set on, and you should should style your hair like X,Y,Z, you might hesitate to take her suggestions for a bit, but in the end you probably feel like the stylist knows better than you (the person who has to live with the look) so you do things her way — and then end up mad. On the inside.
All of us at the dinner table said most times we tell a beautician we like our hair and then go home and get in the mirror and immediately start fluffing, pinning, and parting our new styles so it actually looks how we wanted it. I’m not great at hiding my disappointment, so while I won’t tell a stylist I like my hair when I don’t, I do tend to begrudgingly tell her “it’s fine” and get out of the salon chair as quickly as I can and go on my way. By my logic, if we got to the point that you’re showing me my hair in a mirror, you actually think what you’ve done to me is okay and if I don’t like it then my assumption is you just aren’t the person to do what I need. Unfortunately, I’ve gone though that same thought process more than once or twice with the same beautician, still holding out hope they could make my hair dreams come true. And when they didn’t — yet again — I sourly said “It’s fine” and picked up my own hair products on the way home.
Some women said they don’t want to offend their stylist so they tell them they like whatever style was created, though Alvarez assured us beauticians actually want feedback, even if it’s negative. Which, in the mind of a woman not being emotional over her hair makes total sense because how else are they going to get better? But for some reason, as women we tend to let our attachment to our hair (and the mixed emotions we likely already have about it and its perceived effect on our beauty and sense of self-worth), mixed with our socialization not to speak up for ourselves keep us from getting the desired outcome, which is a hairstyle that allows us to feel confident and love our hair.
I can’t remember the last time I left a salon totally pleased with the resulting ‘do, but even more disappointing is the fact that I probably never even let the stylists know that outright.
Do you speak up when you hate your hair after your stylist does it?
Call us corny, but we’re suckers for couple activities — dates, PDA, color-coordinating outfits, matching hair…
OK, so it’s not every day you see a man and woman walking down the street with twist outs that rival one another, but when you do it’s cause for a double take, followed by a “awwww.” There’s just nothing cuter than being so in sync with bae you become hair twins, and though we can’t completely confirm the pairs on this list are all romantic couples, these male-female hair twins are giving us life either way.
While on a press tour in LA late last week, standing around rubbing elbows with members of media during a cocktail party, myself and two other writers were having an in-depth conversation about something significant and worrisome. And no, I’m not talking about politics, patriarchy or the terrorist attacks happening around the world. I’m talking about body hair. Did I mention it was a cocktail party? Therefore, topics of conversation stayed on the playful/laid back/shallow side.
I can’t even tell you how it started, but one of the women shared that she had a laser hair-removal procedure done down there because she was sick and tired of dealing with pubic hair. It took a whopping 14 sessions to rid her of any signs of a bush, and it wasn’t cheap, but she was happy with the results, going as far as to even recommend it to her mother. That catapulted into a conversation about body hair in general, including hair on one’s breasts and that pesky nipple hair.
“Sometimes I look down, and there are these ridiculously long pieces of hair on my chest,” said the other editor. “I usually pluck them out, but they come back even longer sometimes.”
I went on to say that I often shave those hairs off from time to time (in between pulling at them and curling them like the bows on gifts when I’m bored). But just like the other women, mine (which are more on my breasts than my nipples) always grow back here and there and grow back longer and longer. And while they’re not thick patches or anything that noticeable, they’re definitely annoying.
So how do you deal with them?
After doing my research, I found that my shaving method to get rid of breast hair is not a good idea after all. Same for depilatory creams. According to New Health Guide, the skin around the areola is quite sensitive so it could become irritated and your mammary glands could be affected. And according to Go Ask Alice:
“…one of the downsides to shaving hair in this sensitive area is that it could potentially lead to blocked follicles which may turn into benign yet un-fun sebaceous cysts. Other options like plucking, waxing/sugaring, and depilatory creams have similar potential for causing blocked follicles, ingrown hairs, infection, hyperpigmentation (discoloration of the skin), scarring, and just generally for being unpleasant in many cases.”
Both electrolysis and laser treatments, obviously the pricier options, are recommended for being a permanent option. But if the irritation or the extensive treatments aren’t your thing, scissors are also an option–though they won’t necessarily put a halt to the hairs and would just trim them. And plucking out the hair may not be so bad after all, because successfully pulling strands straight out could keep ingrown hairs from popping up.
But as women, most of us know that odd hairs come with the territory. Whether they’re popping up here and there on your cheeks, your chin, your stomach, in between your chest, all over your arms or on your breasts, the strand struggle is real.
I say all that to say, a few hairs here and there around the areola or breast, in general, isn’t a big deal. However, if you do see a noticeable increase, you might want to speak up about it with your doctor or gynecologist.
Is your hair-care routine up to date? The hair we have in our teens is much different from the hair we have in our 20s, or even our 30s. And if you want to keep lovable locks your whole life long, it pays to change up your hair-care routine as you age.
Pay attention to your follicles and you might be surprised at the changes going on up there. But aging hair doesn’t have to be a way of life. Gray hair might be inevitable, but breakage, thinning edges and hormonal hair loss don’t have to be — if you follow these hair-care rules as you get older. You’ll keep your hair beautiful, longer.
Teen To 20s Damage Control
These years are when we change our hair the most. While you’re staying fried, died and laid to the side, pay close attention to the products that you’re using. Stay away from goods with sulfates, alcohol and glycol, which can dry out your hair.
And focus on moisture. Leave-in conditioners and heat-protectant serums will help protect your hair from too much heat and sew-in stress.