All Articles Tagged "tacky"
Like most of us, celebrities make poor fashion choices from time to time. But unlike most of us, celebrities have deep enough pockets to not only purchase the best clothes, but pay stylists to tell them exactly what the best clothes are. So why is it that some stars make fashion mistakes over and over, year after year? We have no clue. But what we do know are fifteen examples of high-paid stars that have made a habit of making worst dressed lists, despite having the means not to.
I’ll never forget when I went to prom with my dad. Well, let me clear that up, he was just a chaperone and asked both my sister and I to come along to keep him company. He had never attended a prom and didn’t know what to expect. It should have been the norm: colorful dresses, happy teenagers letting loose and so on and so forth. But no, it was a hot ratchet mess. In this particular side of this particular part of this particular city, a majority of the students had their dresses made. You know a homemade prom dress when you see it–there’s less material to it. When the kids walked in the door, every piece of skin you could think of was out, the materials were hideous, and the guys were wearing hats with wrist watches on them…don’t ask. Yes, ratchet prom attire is becoming as American as apple pie, and to keep your child from going that route, have them look at this gallery. If not, good luck.
The “Where Are Your Damn Clothes” Dresses
Blame it on a school where students have to wear uniforms all year long, or just society’s lack of appreciation for clothing, but more and more young ladies are showing up thinking these kinds of dresses are hot. All you have to do is make an outfit and use the extra material…as the dress. If we can’t see all thigh, your entire stomach and the top and sides of your breasts, then you’re not committed to looking as ratchet as possible.
Dear silky and smooth hair bonnets,
Man, you and I go way back. We go back through my many hairstyles and states. You’ve been with me since I was rocking a relaxer with rollers in my head to keep my curls tight; You’ve helped me keep my texturizer moist, and when my natural fro was ready to cave in and get dry on my pillow, the thought of you woke me up out of my nap and beckoned me to throw you on my head. If it weren’t for you, why, I would look crazy as hell on many an occasion. Maybe that’s why I have three of you. I have a bonnet for every occasion. Depending on my mood, I reach for your color: black when my hair is clean and fresh, pink when I’m trying to hide my dirty hair, and purple for post scalp greasing (I know I’m not the only one who still does this). Your smooth bands have kept dents out of my forehead for years, and when I woke up after a restless sleep, covers all in disarray on the floor, pillow next to it, you still, somehow, stayed on my head. Tight head wraps often make my head ache, and smash my ears in, but you bonnet, you’ve kept me comfortable in a whimsical fashion that has let my hair breathe and stay beautiful. That’s probably why I have so much respect and love for you!
And maybe all that respect is why I can’t stand to see your a** on people’s heads on the streets. B0nnet! Baby! What are you doing to yourself? If you’re not on the head of a person running for their life during a fire, I would prefer not to find you on the head of some woman waiting for the bus by my place, working on an elliptical machine at my gym, or on the head of someone who was a witness to some sort of rachetness on the news. You are bold, and you are beautiful, but if you don’t stay your behind in the bathroom next to the bobby pins and hair spray and off the bus, I’m going to scream. I don’t know when people thought to make you the new it-fashion for when they didn’t want to finish their hair, but this has got to stop. You can camouflage yourself in any kind of color and/or design that you want, but that still doesn’t make you a hat! And while I can understand using you not to sweat your hair out sometimes, nor to have it be destroyed by humidity, there’s got to be another way! Maybe put a hat, or at least a nice scarf over you? But to be exposed to the world while accompanying something other than pajamas or lounge wear has forced me to resent you sometimes. YOU LOOK CRAZY! But alas, I guess you are a step up from the hideous shower cap that started feeling itself and became the alternative to umbrellas…
I know, it makes me sad too. I want you to keep your dignity. I want us to go back to the relationship we had before, when I loved to pick you up and plop you on my head. However, a part of me hates you because you don’t know how to stay in the damn house. I guess I should hold more blame with your owners than I do with you, but like the Rob Base song says, it takes two. Stop selling out just to sell yourself and stick to showing out and showing yourself off INDOORS. It would be much appreciated from this day forward bonnet. Peace…and hair grease.
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I’m sure you heard about the fact that the honorable folks over at BET decided to ban Nicki Minaj’s video for the track “Stupid H*e.” Depending on who you ask, that was an awesome decision to some sick of tasteless and mindless music, while it was a sexist and stupid decision by others. To keep it pretty real, BET is known for not having the best taste when it comes to music video choices, allowing the most ratchet and somewhat tasteless videos by rappers to get clearance but wanting women to stay ladylike: they’ve also banned Ciara’s sexually charged video “Ride,” and Teairra Mari’s pretty harmless “Sponsor” video. But all in all, I’ve seen a lot worse. We could run down a list of the very disgusting Tip Drill-esque videos BET has shown late at night with all the booty bouncing and credit card sliding, but instead, we’re running down some of our favorite stupid videos that we probably could have lived without seeing. If they were banned we probably wouldn’t have felt any real way about it (*Kanye shrug*).
Vh1, the Viacom cable channel known for catapulting D-list reality programming to the forefront (think Surreal Life), appears to have taken a break from their usual proliferation of black female stereotypes on Sundays to, instead, make way for foul-mouthed, drink-tossing white women.
A few Wednesdays ago we were introduced to the Baseball Wives who, like the Basketball Wives, may be some of the worst representations of women they could find, and the drama is all the same. Amidst prying into each woman’s personal business, spreading rumors and the subsequent physical altercations, each undoubtedly regards herself as the classiest of the bunch—class translating, “I have a substantial amount of disposable income with a stripper mentality.” Within five minutes of airing, they ruined every positive stereotype associated with the ladies of baseball–if there were any positive ones to begin with.
But, don’t credit Shaunie O’Neal for this one. Shed Media is the production force behind this mess.
Likewise, it was only fitting when the Mob Wives returned to Sundays for a second season of prison calls and death threats that executives decided the baseball wives should join them. Of course, it could be because they are making room for Love & Hip-Hop LA or something, but, nevertheless, Vh1 Sunday nights are now filled with brawling white women.
And, while Vh1 is doing women a disservice in our entirety, their new white-hot Sundays show exploitative television is going all equal-opportunity, with the first installment of Mob Wives: Chicago is set to air this spring. For that, I say thank you Vh1 for momentarily diverting the heat. A round of applause for showing the world women of all complexions are the same kind of crazy and willing to yank weaves for attention and/or money. And a big applause to your station for proving you’ll exploit any and every thirsty chick for a quick dollar. Kudos!
The only question left to answer is when will we stop watching?
LaShaun Williams is a Madame Noire contributor and columnist whose work has appeared in the New York Times and across several popular sites, such as HuffPost Black Voices and the Grio. You can visit her blog at lashaunwilliams.com or follow her on Twitter @itsmelashaun and Facebook.
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A well-dressed, well-coifed black woman with her finger on the pulse of style and elegance is quite a sight to behold (see any movie from the turn of the millennium starring Taye Diggs for examples).
But man, far too many sisters don’t know how to work with what they have (or don’t have), often resulting in disasters the likes of which wind up on sites like Failblog.org or Hotghettomess.com. It’s easy for me to level the blame of black woman style disasters on the bad economy and all that…but then I look at the music industry and see chicks with money completely blowing it as well.
I’m no Tim Gunn, but I know what looks good and what’s flat-out atrocious. Here are just six out of many: