Source: jemblog.com

When three out of four of the mothers of Terrell Owens’ children went on Dr. Phil in May to confront the former NFL pro about being an absentee parent both physically and fiscally, Samelia Miller was noticeably missing. The Los Angeles celebrity makeup artist and mother of T.O.’s youngest child and only son, Atlin, opted not to appear on the talk show and at the time people could only speculate as to why. Now Samelia has out put a concrete statement on her choice and her overall dealings with her son’s father in a blog post on her website. Here’s what she said:

As the mother of Terrell Owens’ youngest child, Atlin, I have watched and listened to the public and media conversation about my son’s father throughout the past several years. I have heard both the positive and the “less than favorable things” said about the one who calls himself [B]“T.O.”[/B] watching his rise and fall in the public spotlight.

By no stretch of the imagination have I been happy with Terrell’s past actions as it relates to my son. To see Terrell rise to the levels he did, yet not find it within himself to meet and develop a relationship with his son because of his so call “resentment toward me” and other excuses, to me is somewhere between immature, ridiculous and inexcusable. But I did not “put him on blast” in the media or go public with my story for a number of reasons. Primarily because…regardless of how I felt about his father’s actions, Terrell is still his father. Going on national television along with the parents of his other children and “confronting” Terrell about why he hasn’t been around, been supportive of his son, or (until he recently met Atlin) chosen to be a part of his life, etc., was not something I chose to do. Which I feel is not in best interest for my son — and he matters most to me.

One day, my son is going to watch, read, and hear these things from others about his dad. [B]So do you really think I want Atlin to see his mom and dad battling it out on Dr. Phil…?[/B] [B]NOT[/B]!

After five years, Terrell is now trying to be a part of my son’s life. Granted, I have not gone easy on Terrell and I struggle everyday with trying to forgive him for how he treated us, but I am watching a transformation take place as he spends quality time with Atlin. I see how he regrets his mistakes, some of his actions and making so much of his private life public. Watching it sitting across from him in the courtroom as well as at the table from him eating at Atlin’s favorite pizza spot. The pain on his face is evident. I can see how he longs to just “get it right,” to fit in his son’s life, changing certain things he’s done and working even harder for an NFL team to take a chance on him.

The rise and fall of public figures is something society seems to crave. We watch in awe and become huge fans during their ascent and on their descent; we tend to distance ourselves from the celebrity, politician or athlete in question. Although this is a forgiving country, I do understand that “forgiveness” usually applies to those who have fallen, seen the error of their ways, and work hard to rebound. After the fall, the ownership of the actions that led to the downfall, the humbling of a once arrogant personality, the sincere pledge to do better, the heartfelt apology expressed through the media, and the positive actions to back it all up; are the things that tend to allow society to “forgive” them and open the door to redemption. But those who have been known to have a “selfish” attitude and an “it’s all about me” approach definitely have a much harder time rebounding from a fall.

We’ve all watched the rise and now the fall of my son’s father, Terrell Owens. But I believe with the new path Terrell is on he can and will rise again. I see him learning to abandon the arrogance, checking the ego at the door, and watching what comes out his mouth. This man wants to do right, work in a profession he has done so well in for years, and show the world he can be not only a great athlete, but also a parent and a man! It won’t be easy and there are huge obstacles in the way but I am confident he will overcome them and rise again.

That was awfully big of her considering T.O. is still acting up when it comes to the mothers of his other children. Just today he narrowly escaped jail time after he skipped another $20,000 child support payment to Melanie Smith. Terrell showed up ready to pay the money he owed and a judge also ordered him to pay his baby mother’s legal fees which adds another $12,000 to his tally. Considering he has no ends he’s definitely going to have to up the quality time he spends with his children if he wants to be any type of father.

What do you think about Samelia’s letter?

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I don’t really care much for the whole “money over b****es” saying on the surface but the philosophy behind it, I support. It reminds me of the quote from “I Think I love My Wife” when Chris Rock’s boss told him, “You’ll lose a lot of money chasing women but you’ll never lose women chasing money.” It’s such a simple concept but looking at the state of some of our biggest male celebrities who are nearly in the poor house because of child support and alimony payments this is clearly a lesson they have not learned.

Nas stopped by RapFix Live today to talk about his financial situation and when it came to the outrageous child support payments Nas has been ordered to make ($25,000 a month to Kelis, which is down from $50,000, plus money to his first child’s mother) the somber rapper said, “Life is crazy. I [wound] up paying more money to baby mommas than what some of my rap brothers and sistren make.”  It’s no wonder the man now owes $6 million in taxes.

To Nas’ credit he was actually married to Kelis, but a lot of these other characters out here? They’ve been sowing their wild oats into financial ruin. T.O., Dennis Rodman, Antonio Cromartie—the NY Jets who fathered nine children with eight women and had to get a $500,000 advance so he could make outstanding child support payments, these are just a few of the men who continue to think with their little head instead of their big one.

What’s disturbing to me is that these men have yet to learn from anyone else’s mistakes. We’ve all seen enough rich-celebrity-gone-broke stories to serve as an example that if you’re not smart enough to wear condoms to protect your physical health at least protect your financial well-being. Whether we’re talking about a rapper or a pro-athlete, that money can be here today gone tomorrow just by the sheer nature of the industries so why these men think they have enough money to father as many nations as Abraham and keep buying Bentleys and million-dollar homes is beyond me.

I’m honestly thinking about putting down the pen and becoming a “how not to lose your entire financial portfolio to baby mama’s” coach for rappers and pro athletes because the situation is getting ridiculous and I honestly have no sympathy for the ones who have fallen victim to the okie doke. I imagine these men have financial planners but what they need someone to break down to them is how quickly every penny they earn can dry up when they think it’s OK to sleep with women who will not hesitate to demand sufficient child support. T.O. was required to pay nearly $100,000 a month in child support to the mothers of his four children. That’s more money than most people see in a year.

Of course women are something that come along with the celebrity lifestyle, but random children don’t need to be. Not only is it irresponsible from a societal standpoint, it’s fiscally risky and an embarrassment to be facing jail time like a regular man working at McDonald’s who can’t afford child support when you’ve made millions on top of millions over the course of your career and now don’t have a pot to piss in because you’ve squandered it paying tens of thousands of dollars a month on illegitimate children you’ve fathered across the nation.

I suppose if a regular joe doesn’t know any better than to create a bunch of babies he can’t pay for on a $60,000 salary, I shouldn’t expect a pro-athlete to know any better but this trend has got to stop. At some point these men need to think about their own financial future because the career of a pro and most rappers is very short lived. The money won’t always be there especially if you’ve got more going out in child support payments then you have coming in paychecks. At some point you’ve got to think the risk just isn’t worth it.

Why do you think so many celebrity men keep going broke over child support? Do you think they’ll ever learn?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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