Treat Me Maddy Cupcake Bath Bomb. Photo: TreatMeBathAndBody.com

When was the last time you treated yourself? How long has it been since you indulged in a satisfying dessert, a relaxing bubble bath, or even just 30 minutes of peace and quiet?

As women in today’s society we are professionals, mothers, wives, students, and more.  We wear so many hats it’s not always easy to scrounge up the resources for a personal treat. From financial obligations to scheduling obstacles, women often find themselves on the bottom of the totem pole of self-indulgence.

Fortunately, one Brooklyn, NY mom set out on a mission to help the everyday woman be good to herself. The result is her creative and delicious approach to holistic bath and body products, Treat Me.

Treat Me is an all-natural line of soaps, bath bombs, exfoliation scrubs and moisturizers that are shaped and scented after what we all crave — sweets! From the “Mint Chocolate Dream” soap, to the “Sugar Scrub Cubes,” Treat Me founder Teneshia LaRoda-Griffith wanted to create a product that embodies some of the sweet luxuries that women often cheat themselves out of and promote an opportunity for ladies to take a few moments to themselves. “This was my ode to women,” says Griffith.

Not long ago Teneshia was a busy, stay-at-home mom, who was balancing a household, a marriage, and a toddler with little time left for pampering. “I stopped being able to get my hair and nails done,” she recalls. “I had to find a way to do this for myself.”

The idea was born to create a line of bath and body products that have the added indulgence of the delectable fragrances of some of our favorite confections. A self-proclaimed “foodie at heart,” LaRoda-Griffith was inspired to take her creation to the next level while shopping for cupcakes for her daughter’s birthday party. She was hit with the notion to make her products not only smell scrumptious, but look exactly like their appetizing counterparts. “Sometimes even just smelling things can make you feel full,” she explains. “Solve your cravings this way!”

Teneshia LaRoda-Griffith

Aside from the fact that all the Treat Me products are organic and free of harsh sulfates and chemicals, the line is priced to make it easy for those who are financially challenged to feel lavish. With prices as low as $6.95, women from all walks of life can easily find room in their budget for one of these sweet treats.

“I got a lot of flack for charging such low prices,” says Griffith, “but I know what my products do for me. And if I’m helping people, then the money will come. If I have a thousand women who swear by Treat Me then I’m good.”

Just after the newborn stage of life, everyone starts to feel stress inch it’s way into their lives. In school, it is the stress of a big test, pimples and finding a prom date. In college, it’s about the big test, dates and getting a decent job after graduation. And while at the time it all seems very stressful, it is just the beginning. It isn’t until you get a job, start earning your own way and, eventually, supporting a family and moving up the career ladder, that you not only get to know stress, but stress moves right in, takes your favorite chair and even raids your refrigerator in the middle of the night.  So how can you handle it all?  Take a look at these proven stress relievers and give yourself a 10-minute break to relax and learn how to de-stress.

A recent study published in the periodical, Psychology of Women Quarterly, just came out with some news that might be counter-intuitive to church going, mentor-seeking, and candle-burning black women wishing to relieve racial stress–the report says it doesn’t work.  That’s no surprise to me.  Whenever I go to my mother about some stress in my life, this Creflo Dollar-loving woman just tells me to pray and read the 23rd Psalms.  Tried it once or twice, no dice.

According to researchers, the typical go-to stress relievers for “the struggle” are:

• Collective-centered coping, such as asking for advice from elders or the community
• Cognitive-emotional coping, such as seeking out people who could draw out emotions like laughter or happiness
• Spiritual-centered coping, such as prayer
• Ritual-centered coping, such as lighting a candle

…and none of them seemed to be doing the trick.

“I expected that higher use of coping efforts would reduce the severity of psychological outcomes associated with individual race-related stress,” wrote Tawanda Greer, the study’s author. “However, the outcomes were surprising. The results showed that the use of one particular method of coping, the use of ritual-centered coping, actually increased stress levels.” (e!Science News, July 12, 2011)

Aside from the candle lighting, all of the above coping mechanisms focus on the dependence of others to make black women feel better.  And perhaps therein lies the problem.  Not saying it doesn’t help to talk things through or seek The Big Guy in the Sky for guidance, but maybe black women should be looking for other avenues to solve problems and/or episodes they perceive as racially-fueled.  We’re so quick to assume that every non-black person who is rude to us, doesn’t speak or cuts in front of us in line is racist, when in truth he or she just might be an a**hole.  If you’re looking for racism under every rock, behind every tree and in between the sidewalk lines, then yes; no amount of praying, candle burning, or complaining to your friends is going to help the situation.

And that’s the big problem I have with this study.  What is the researcher’s definition of “racial stress?”  Is she talking about people who get hurled the n-word everyday while walking the streets minding their own business?  While it is true that black women experience tremendous amount of stress from a variety of sources–single-parenting, working 10-12 hours then coming home for the second shift, financial problems, battling weight and health problems, etc–I wouldn’t necessarily categorize them as “racial stressors.”  These stressors are cultural.

Here’s a novel approach: how about instead of looking to everyone else to make us feel better, we work on empowering ourselves?

Christelyn D. Karazin is the co-author of Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate Mixing Race Culture and Creed (to be released April 2012), and runs a blog, www.beyondblackwhite.com, dedicated to women of color who are interested and or involved in interracial and intercultural relationships. She is also the founder and organizer of “No Wedding, No Womb,” an initiative to find solutions to the 72 percent out-of-wedlock rate in the black community.

Juggling career, family and (much needed) alone time can cause anxiety for mothers. It seems that there is always something to be done. Relaxing feels like a guilty pleasure. A nose needs blowing! Dinner won’t make itself! Homework must be checked!

We hear you Super Mom. Here are a few ways you can combat mommy anxiety:

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