All Articles Tagged "steve harvey"
Today’s episode of #LunchtimeChat posed the question: should divorced men give “expert” relationship advice? The ladies share their opinions based on a recent article that pondered if celebrities like Steve Harvey, Tyrese, Rev Run and Keith Sweat should hold authority on the topic of relationships considering their pasts.
Catch the chat and share your thoughts below! Make sure to tune in to #LunchtimeChat every weekday at noon on Facebook Live!
Adolescence is a very delicate period in life. Without the proper guidance, the transition into adulthood can lead to irreparable damage. While there are minor differences, the values that are taught to both boys and girls until puberty are the same. A parent or guardian is tending to fertile ground while the roots begin to grow.
As children begin to “break ground,” these plants seek and need outside resources. Those seven years before twenty are the rebel without a cause years just for the sake of experimentation with no experience. We all needed a little guidance.
Comedian and hardest working man in showbiz, Steve Harvey, has been doing his part. Over the past weekend, Harvey kicked off the eighth annual Steve Harvey Mentoring Program for Young Men. Two hundred and twenty young, fatherless men-whose ages range from 13-18-and their families, are brought to Camp Grace in Roberta, GA. During their time at the camp, the young men are exposed to men who act as positive role models because the first step in inspiration for young men is emulation. While the program progresses, these adolescents hear from and converse with Harvey and CEO of Choice Hotels, Steve Joyce.
One of the most important lessons that determine what kind of man a young boy becomes is discipline. While it may not be something or a lifestyle that everyone agrees with, these boys are put through a boot camp. Why? Because there are very few programs on the planet-if any-that rival the US Military’s system of breaking down behavioral patterns to rebuild them.
Many of these young men are already on a track that could lead to destruction. Often, the male successes leave the neighborhoods and never come back. While this is the age of the internet, in many places, the first semblances of success are what they see in their environment, only to succumb to its pitfalls after it is too late. Unfortunately, these mentors become the father figures that young boys seek when no one else is around. It becomes a perpetual cycle in which survival-an instinct-becomes the only and most basic education.
While the young men attend their program, the mothers and families travel with them and attend a program of their own. They are told of various ways to support their sons as well as uphold many of the disciplines that their children are learning at the camp. While they can play a major role, a mother cannot teach a boy how to become a man, just as a man cannot a woman. There will be lapses in communication and the child will seek guidance from a relatable source. It is up to us as parents to facilitate the process in which our children make the right decisions in which they relate, gain trust, and allow themselves to be influenced by.
Steve Harvey may be a lot of things that people agree with. However, he has always been authentically passionate about giving back to enrich the lives of young men. Every year, he can be heard panting through all four hours of his radio show because he is on a treadmill while hosting the show to raise funds for programs like his mentoring camp. Other sponsors and supporters of the camp are Choice Hotels, Walgreens, US Army, Ford, State Farm, and AT&T Aspire: the communication company’s signature education program that focuses on school success and career readiness.
For more information about the Steve Harvey Mentoring Program for Young Men, visit www.SteveHarveyMentoring.com.
As I have stated many times, but more specifically, here, the natural hair movement should not just be seen as a fight to free Black women.
Sure, that’s how both mainstream and Black media – with their emphasis on highlighting our big chops, wig shedding and hair journeys – make it out to be. But the idea that Black women are the only ones who have issues with our hair is preposterous. And sexist. Men too have issues with their kinks. (Or did we think that Julius Caesar, the famed Roman emperor and the individual – or name – behind the popular hairstyle worn by Black men, was a brother from Ghana?)
For example, check out this tweet:
— Dr. Steve Perry (@DrStevePerry) June 12, 2016
For those who don’t know why you should care, Dr. Steve Perry is the founder of Capital Preparatory Magnet School in Hartford, Connecticut, which is mostly known for consecutively graduating 100 percent of its all-Black male academy into college. He is also Sean “Puffy” Combs’ recently announced partner in a charter prep school that the unlikely duo is opening up in Harlem, New York.
Dr. Perry’s tweet was in reference to Steve Harvey’s National Mentoring Camp for Young Men, which was held in Roberta, Georgia late last week. And according to Dr. Perry’s timeline, the three-day camp, which partnered with the U.S. Army, served as a “powerful” testimony to how “the armed forces take young men & women who many gave up on & transform them into upright citizens.” This includes one young man with a speech impediment, who, according to Perry, ceased stuttering thanks to what he learned through the camp.
In addition to heaping tons of praise upon our U.S. armed forces, Perry also took a moment to express his interest in partnering with them “to create single gender boarding schools bc we CAN save our sons by changing their context.”
Needless to say, not everyone was happy with Dr. Perry’s tweet. And surprisingly, it didn’t have anything to do with his apparent approval of a school-to-military pipeline. Instead, it was the hair thing. And after a ton of folks read him the riot act in his mentions, Dr. Perry had this to say in response:
I send no less than 29 tweets extolling a life altering impact of a week for Black boys & a handful of you COMPLAIN about hair. I can't a U
— Dr. Steve Perry (@DrStevePerry) June 12, 2016
While you fight to sit your son on the floor & braid his hair I fight increase what's in it. You stay focused on the wrong things. Way to go
— Dr. Steve Perry (@DrStevePerry) June 12, 2016
Every generation has hairstyles. The issue is that the PREVIOUS generation has the jobs, companies and opportunities. Facts are facts.
— Dr. Steve Perry (@DrStevePerry) June 12, 2016
Sag your pants, tattoo your whatever & do whatever YOU want to YOU. If you like it I love it. I'll teach mine what I've seen work. Good luck
— Dr. Steve Perry (@DrStevePerry) June 12, 2016
I will not deny that Dr. Perry is a fantastic educator. He is the man who basically wrote the blueprint for academic success. And if there is one person who knows what it takes to reshape and mold young men from scrubs to successful grown men, it is definitely him.
Still, there is something very bothersome about his stance. Of course, I’m talking about the adherence to respectability in all of this. The idea that because of stereotypes and White supremacy, Black folks must present ourselves in a certain way to not only not offend the White gaze, but to also be considered as worthy of respect and to be seen as dignified, serious people.
Yeah, I hate that kind of thinking, too.
But more than the respectability politicking, I also think there is something extremely self-defeating and loathing about Dr. Perry’s tweet. In particular, that maybe the gaze has a point. That our hair, in its natural state, is contrary to what should be seen as dignified, respectable, and even successful in this world.
And unfortunately, so many of our folks also feel this very way. They like to call it facing reality and offering up sage advice that will help others succeed in a country that is racially stacked against us. But, in reality, it is all just their way of telling you that they intend to uphold up – and even encourage – some very nasty oppression that hurts us all.
Yeah, I said it.
Granted, Dr. Perry’s record of getting young men to college is exceptional – and we all know that college is supposed to be the cornerstone to success and empowerment in the Black community. But a man is not shaped solely by how he performs academically, particularly in an institutional setting, nor is it only a matter of discipline and appearance. Therefore, the question of how we define success is an important one.
In particular, what does success mean when we are raising young men to have no sense of self? What kind of self-loving and well-rounded Black men are we rearing if we are teaching them as young men that their natural selves should be seen and treated as opposite to all that they aspire to in life (i.e., worthy of a good job, a nice home, love and marriage, etc…)?
What does success really mean if we are drilling into their impressionable minds that natural hair is contrary to all things respectable and professional? And what will it mean when it is time to pick a wife and have children? In other words, will they be willing to consider the woman with the unprofessional and status-limiting natural hairstyle or opt for something more “disciplined”?
And yes, that matters, too. And speaking of things that matter, how does any of this free us?
After all, isn’t this whole point of these Talented Tenth escapades – to mold young Black men who care about the well-being of the community and want to contribute to its growth – not to continue to raise young Black men who hate us? I have to say that if this is how we view success, then we would probably be better off letting them kill themselves out on the street.
And not to sound too morbid, but it’s all self-destruction anyway…
And as I wrote back in 2012 in the piece entitled, “Not in Corporate America, Brotha: When Will Black Men Join the Natural Hair Movement Too?”:
On any given Saturday there is a long wait time at any barber shop in the hood. Most men grow up knowing that at least twice a month there is a barber waiting to trim their hair into a tight fade. If anybody were to ask them why they continue to hand over money on Saturday mornings to “maintain” their short haircuts, most would tell you that having longer hair is too burdensome. Their natural hair is impossible to comb. And no one has the extra time in the mornings to dedicate to properly moisturizing and taming their thick and bushy ‘fro into a perfect circle. Ironically, these are some of the same reasons women have given as to why they might perm or wear a weave. Yet, within this double standard, no one ever accuses men of conforming to European beauty standards in order to give off a non-threatening aesthetic.
You know, the same non-threatening aesthetic that makes Black Fortune 500 CEOs with a “baby face” appearance more likely to lead companies with higher revenues and prestige than Black CEOs who look more ethnic? Oh yeah, those are actual results from a study conducted by Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of Management. Even if they are at the top of their game, Black men must still succumb to the pressure to present an image that won’t suggest too much Negro-tude.
And unfortunately, many of them will be succumbing because none of their brothers will have their back when it is time to stand up to the abuse and fight back.
I know folks don’t want to hear it, but we do kind of do it to ourselves…
Bishop Eddie Long On Considering Suicide During Sexual Misconduct Allegations And Saving His Marriage
In 2010, Bishop Eddie Long, senior pastor of New Birth Missionary Baptist Church in Dekalb County, Georgia, was under fire. He found himself being accused of and sued for allegedly trying to use his influence to coerce three young church members, all men, into having sexual relations with him. These allegations, aimed at a married pastor who had previously denounced homosexuality and even had “Sexual Reorientation” programs to make gay men and women heterosexual, were all over the news.
Eventually, Long would settle the lawsuits out of court. His church would stand by him. His wife, despite initially filing for divorce, would also stay with him. He would go on to never really speak of the situation, aside from thanking his congregation for not giving up on him. That is until he sat down with Steve Harvey recently to talk about the toll those allegations took on him, his family, and New Birth Missionary Baptist Church. Their conversation will air on today’s episode of The Steve Harvey Show, but clips from it are already available. What Long shared during their talk is quite engrossing, especially his thoughts of suicide as the allegations spread.
When asked by Harvey what drove him to that point, Long said it was the criticism coming from all sides.
“You hear so much from so many,” Long said. “And I guess the shouts when you’re going through, and I want others to know this when they’re going through something, the shouts of your haters seem to be louder and more multiplied than people who are with you. And somehow, because we have a bend towards the negative anyway, they get to your ear. And that’s just major heavy, to try and see an end. And if you saw a light, it was another train coming.”
And on top of all that he was hearing from the public, Long’s home life was also in turmoil. His wife, Vanessa, had filed for divorce. She would eventually withdraw her petition and use her situation as a way to help others going through something similar. As she put it, “I realized that the best thing I could do was to let you see me as a woman, just like you. A woman capable of making good decisions and a woman capable of making bad decisions. Instead of condemning myself, I can use what happened as an opportunity to minister myself to someone else going through a storm.” All these years later, Long told Harvey that they’re still working to get over their humps, but he wouldn’t have made it without her.
“It wasn’t where we were arguing and all of that, but it’s a lot of focus,” Long said. “We still have some challenges to be very, very honest with you. So I’m not going to sit here and run the white horse. But we’re together and we’re working through that and we’re growing. If it wasn’t for her, I would have been gone.”
And when asked why he eventually settled out of court, despite stating that “the truth will emerge,” Long said he did it to protect himself, his family, and his church.
“The old gambling song: You’ve got to know when to hold it, know when to fold it, know when to walk away,” Long said. By then, after such attack of media, the stress of all of that and all of this, you gotta look at what’s happening to you? At that point, everyone who believed in you was still believing in you. At that point, who didn’t believe in me, wasn’t going to believe in me no matter what I did. You’ve got to figure: Am I going to win the battle or do I need to win the war? So I had to make a decision to save me, save my family and save the church. Because continuing on was just going to be beat, beat, beat and gives everybody more opportunity to beat up people.”
It’s sure to be a good episode. Check out a few clips ahead of it and share your thoughts below.
There are so many rules and regulations when it comes to relationships. And for many people, those stakes are raised when that relationship turns into a marriage. Suddenly, there are places you can’t go and things you can’t do. And your payoff for all of these restrictions is getting to be with the one you love.
When you frame it in these pessimistic terms, no wonder both men and women struggle with cold feet.
But that’s not the point of this here essay.
I mention the rules and regulations because recently on Steve Harvey’s talk show, he spoke about one of them.
“When you’re married. You’ve got to have some parameters. A woman cannot call my phone.”
He was saying this during a Battle of the Sexes segment, so it was a group of women on one side and a group of men on the other. When he said that, the women immediately started chiming in with their dissension, claiming that the only reason such a rule would be necessary is if there were already a trust issue in the relationship.
“It’s not a trust issue, it’s keeping everything where it’s supposed to be. It’s not about trust.”
Being that it was Steve Harvey offering this opinion, I took it with a grain of salt. Y’all know he’s known for his sexist and old fashioned viewpoints. But the more I thought about this point, the more I realized there aren’t too many men who would sit on the phone with a woman who wasn’t a family member or some type of romantic partner. There are those people who are best friends with someone of the opposite sex and maybe they talk on the phone occasionally. But those people are a rarity. And honestly, the only reference I have for that type of relationship is Brown Sugar. And y’all know how that turned out.
Still, I don’t know if there needs to be a hard-fast rule set in place. Life is full of exceptions and rules don’t always apply. And I wouldn’t want to think I would be banned from speaking to someone on the phone for the simple fact that they had a penis.
What do you think about this segment? Do you think married people should keep their conversations with the opposite sex limited? Why or why not?
Angie Stone shocked us all when news reports, police reports and even allegations from Angie’s daughter Diamond claimed that Stone knocked her two front teeth out of her mouth. Needless to say it was a mess. Thankfully, after a sit down with T.D. Jakes, in our exclusive interview, Stone said that she and her daughter are doing much better these days.
Still, the incident was so intriguing, when she appeared on “The Steve Harvey Show” he had to ask her about it. And despite what the rumors have led us to believe for almost a year now, Stone said she did not knock her daughter’s teeth out. They were already in a fragile state.
No I did not knock out my daughter’s teeth. I think that, in her defense, the tooth had probably fell out because one had fallen out a week prior to that tooth coming out. And when you have an altercation as such, you can bite down on your lip, and if a tooth is already brittle and decaying, it’s coming out.
If she bit down on a rotten, brittle tooth. You know when you fighting, you like (bites down on her lip.) You doing something with your mouth.
I have said “Ima knock your teeth out.”
We were definitely in an altercation and it’s not that I’m proud of it but you not going to fight me in my house. You’re not going to fight me period. I am your mother and that’s how that go. And there comes a time when you’re fighting another adult, you’ve got to defend yourself.
There really are no words. Just chuckles and yet another reason to brush and floss at night.
Check out the clip from the show in the video below.
Earlier this week, Steve Harvey was under much scrutiny and fire after accidentally crowning the incorrect winner of this year’s live Miss Universe pageant. The Family Feud host named runner up Miss Colombia, Ariadna Gutierrez, the winner instead of Miss Philippines, Pia Wurtzbach, during the live TV broadcast – ouch!
However, after social media read him for filth with endless tweets, Facebook posts, and memes, it looks like Harvey is actually having the last laugh. Yesterday (Dec. 25), he gave everyone that articulated their thoughts on his flub a run for their money by making fun of himself. “Merry Easter y’all!” he captioned a photo of himself where he’s throwing up the peace sign and enjoying a cigar. Conveniently, the background shows his lavish backyard area where the pool is decorated with Christmas fixings like red bows and garland.
We see what you did there, Mr. Harvey! Good to see that the comments didn’t get to him in the least bit.
Do you think Steve Harvey’s family clowns him at the dinner table? When negative headline news hits around the holidays, celebrity Christmas celebrations are guaranteed to get awkward. Wonder how Christmas dinner is going to go at the homes of these folks…
Despite what social media users believed about Steve Harvey, his epic mistake, his intelligence and what it would mean for his future with the Miss Universe organization, most of it is just not true.
Today, during an interview on Jim Rome’s CBS Sports Radio Show, Mark Shapiro, the chief content officer for Miss Universe said Harvey was “very remorseful” about the gaffe and the organization will absolutely welcome him back to host the pageant next year in Belize.
Shapiro said, “[Harvey] did a great job. He was funny, he was informative, he’s high energy, he’s got a great following…I definitely want him back, and I would hate to see him not come back. He’s going to want a shot to redeem himself.”
Shapiro wasn’t the only one who expressed his support for Harvey coming back. The Belize tourism board tweeted this message.
— Belize Tourism Board (@belizevacation) December 21, 2015
Picture it: It’s the final play of the Super Bowl and the team on offense is down by two points. With five seconds left on the clock, the quarterback throws a Hail Mary from the 50-yard line into the end zone.
Surprisingly, a wide receiver from his team catches it midair. But so does a member of the opposing team’s defensive line. In dramatic fashion, the two players fall to the ground, locked in a furious battle to claim possession. Suddenly there is a hush over the stadium.
Is it a touchdown? Or is it an incomplete pass? The referee walks over, takes one look at the embattled players and then raises his arms in a V.
Hail Mary, full of grace: it’s a got-damn touchdown!
The crowd goes wild. The sideline goes wild. The owner’s box goes wild. Everyone is basically wild for the night.
As confetti mysteriously rains from the sky, the winning team bum-rushes and lifts the Vince Lombardi trophy on their shoulders. There are smiles, high-fives, and actual tears. You don’t blame the men for being a little emotional. After all, this is a proud night for the team that has worked hard for this honor.
But just as the quarterback was about to do one final victory dab, several officials, including the referee, walked onto the field carrying a microphone. Everyone gathers around, fully expecting this to be a moment of praise.
But instead, the referee says, “Based on a challenge, we have reviewed the play and determined that there were some clock management issues. Therefore, the game actually ended 10 seconds ago. So in the interest of fairness, we have to take this trophy back and give it to the real winner. My bad. It was still a good night, though. Right?”
And then the official walks off.
That would be pretty messed up. And I highly doubt that folks would be willing to let the referee and the NFL officials slide, even if it had all been a genuine mistake. When it comes to sports, folks just aren’t that understanding and cavalier.
And yet, this is the attitude that most have taken in regards to the recent controversy surrounding the Miss Universe pageant. Over the last day and a half, I read countless responses, reactions and think pieces about the disastrous crowning that basically amount to “Who cares? It’s just a dumb beauty pageant anyway.”
It is true: Beauty pageants are extremely, and historically have been, problematic for all kinds of legitimate reasons. But to be honest, so is professional football. And when you really think about it, there really isn’t that much difference between the big game and the big show.
In football, men are being exploited for their brawn, whereas, in a pageant, women are being exploited for their beauty. And just like professional football players who have to spend countless hours and years getting themselves in peak physical condition, so do professional beauty pageant contestants.
I’m not just talking about the thousands of dollars spent on dresses, makeup, hair and other adornments for competing. But I’m also talking about the grueling dieting, exercising and molding of one’s body so that it fits a narrow definition of a winner. And I’m talking about the pageant coaching, including learning how to smile and walk in heels properly. And I’m talking about always maintaining a clean public image and good social standing. And I’m talking about preparing yourself mentally to be torn apart because your thighs might be too big or boobs too small.
Those women might make it look easy, but most of us know that perfection is just a perfectly skilled and practiced illusion.
And just like professional football players have to endure a grueling selection process, which usually starts in college and high school but can also begin as early as in their childhood, so do professional beauty pageant contestants. Not only have many of those pageants queens been competing since they were toddlers in tiaras, but to even qualify for Miss Universe, a contestant must have battled and won their country’s national competition. In this country, that national pageant is Miss USA.
In fact, the only real difference between the two types of competitions is the value we consciously place on them. And a lot of that, I suspect, has to do with how we ultimately value women in our society.
From beauty pageants to cheerleading to twerk contests to hair battles and more, we tend to have this nasty and misogynistic habit of treating the pursuits, competitions and entertainment that women enjoy as less important than the pursuits, competitions and entertainment geared toward and involving men.
And quite frankly, it’s not cool.
Just for clarity’s sake: I think Steve Harvey is an idiot. But I don’t think he intentionally set out to hurt the contestants. And I am willing to bet he truly feels horrible for his mistake, just like the fictitious rep would have felt in my hypothetical Super Bowl story.
And while the moment definitely had its undeniable humor, I do not believe Harvey deserves to be dragged as viciously as he has through both mainstream and social media. That goes for those of us who are calling him variations of “illiterate coon,” as well as those who are calling him the N-word.
But Harvey is not the only (or even most important) victim here. And I just can’t fully get down with Harvey defenders who flippantly point out how Harvey’s genuine mistake doesn’t matter because it’s just a silly beauty pageant anyway.
More than likely the woman who had the dream of millions of girls and boys realized, only to have it embarrassingly taken off her head in front of an international audience, live. And Miss Universe herself who now has to explain the confusion behind her win, all because of someone else’s mistake.