All Articles Tagged "steve harvey"
Bishop Eddie Long On Considering Suicide During Sexual Misconduct Allegations And Saving His Marriage
In 2010, Bishop Eddie Long, senior pastor of New Birth Missionary Baptist Church in Dekalb County, Georgia, was under fire. He found himself being accused of and sued for allegedly trying to use his influence to coerce three young church members, all men, into having sexual relations with him. These allegations, aimed at a married pastor who had previously denounced homosexuality and even had “Sexual Reorientation” programs to make gay men and women heterosexual, were all over the news.
Eventually, Long would settle the lawsuits out of court. His church would stand by him. His wife, despite initially filing for divorce, would also stay with him. He would go on to never really speak of the situation, aside from thanking his congregation for not giving up on him. That is until he sat down with Steve Harvey recently to talk about the toll those allegations took on him, his family, and New Birth Missionary Baptist Church. Their conversation will air on today’s episode of The Steve Harvey Show, but clips from it are already available. What Long shared during their talk is quite engrossing, especially his thoughts of suicide as the allegations spread.
When asked by Harvey what drove him to that point, Long said it was the criticism coming from all sides.
“You hear so much from so many,” Long said. “And I guess the shouts when you’re going through, and I want others to know this when they’re going through something, the shouts of your haters seem to be louder and more multiplied than people who are with you. And somehow, because we have a bend towards the negative anyway, they get to your ear. And that’s just major heavy, to try and see an end. And if you saw a light, it was another train coming.”
And on top of all that he was hearing from the public, Long’s home life was also in turmoil. His wife, Vanessa, had filed for divorce. She would eventually withdraw her petition and use her situation as a way to help others going through something similar. As she put it, “I realized that the best thing I could do was to let you see me as a woman, just like you. A woman capable of making good decisions and a woman capable of making bad decisions. Instead of condemning myself, I can use what happened as an opportunity to minister myself to someone else going through a storm.” All these years later, Long told Harvey that they’re still working to get over their humps, but he wouldn’t have made it without her.
“It wasn’t where we were arguing and all of that, but it’s a lot of focus,” Long said. “We still have some challenges to be very, very honest with you. So I’m not going to sit here and run the white horse. But we’re together and we’re working through that and we’re growing. If it wasn’t for her, I would have been gone.”
And when asked why he eventually settled out of court, despite stating that “the truth will emerge,” Long said he did it to protect himself, his family, and his church.
“The old gambling song: You’ve got to know when to hold it, know when to fold it, know when to walk away,” Long said. By then, after such attack of media, the stress of all of that and all of this, you gotta look at what’s happening to you? At that point, everyone who believed in you was still believing in you. At that point, who didn’t believe in me, wasn’t going to believe in me no matter what I did. You’ve got to figure: Am I going to win the battle or do I need to win the war? So I had to make a decision to save me, save my family and save the church. Because continuing on was just going to be beat, beat, beat and gives everybody more opportunity to beat up people.”
It’s sure to be a good episode. Check out a few clips ahead of it and share your thoughts below.
There are so many rules and regulations when it comes to relationships. And for many people, those stakes are raised when that relationship turns into a marriage. Suddenly, there are places you can’t go and things you can’t do. And your payoff for all of these restrictions is getting to be with the one you love.
When you frame it in these pessimistic terms, no wonder both men and women struggle with cold feet.
But that’s not the point of this here essay.
I mention the rules and regulations because recently on Steve Harvey’s talk show, he spoke about one of them.
“When you’re married. You’ve got to have some parameters. A woman cannot call my phone.”
He was saying this during a Battle of the Sexes segment, so it was a group of women on one side and a group of men on the other. When he said that, the women immediately started chiming in with their dissension, claiming that the only reason such a rule would be necessary is if there were already a trust issue in the relationship.
“It’s not a trust issue, it’s keeping everything where it’s supposed to be. It’s not about trust.”
Being that it was Steve Harvey offering this opinion, I took it with a grain of salt. Y’all know he’s known for his sexist and old fashioned viewpoints. But the more I thought about this point, the more I realized there aren’t too many men who would sit on the phone with a woman who wasn’t a family member or some type of romantic partner. There are those people who are best friends with someone of the opposite sex and maybe they talk on the phone occasionally. But those people are a rarity. And honestly, the only reference I have for that type of relationship is Brown Sugar. And y’all know how that turned out.
Still, I don’t know if there needs to be a hard-fast rule set in place. Life is full of exceptions and rules don’t always apply. And I wouldn’t want to think I would be banned from speaking to someone on the phone for the simple fact that they had a penis.
What do you think about this segment? Do you think married people should keep their conversations with the opposite sex limited? Why or why not?
Angie Stone shocked us all when news reports, police reports and even allegations from Angie’s daughter Diamond claimed that Stone knocked her two front teeth out of her mouth. Needless to say it was a mess. Thankfully, after a sit down with T.D. Jakes, in our exclusive interview, Stone said that she and her daughter are doing much better these days.
Still, the incident was so intriguing, when she appeared on “The Steve Harvey Show” he had to ask her about it. And despite what the rumors have led us to believe for almost a year now, Stone said she did not knock her daughter’s teeth out. They were already in a fragile state.
No I did not knock out my daughter’s teeth. I think that, in her defense, the tooth had probably fell out because one had fallen out a week prior to that tooth coming out. And when you have an altercation as such, you can bite down on your lip, and if a tooth is already brittle and decaying, it’s coming out.
If she bit down on a rotten, brittle tooth. You know when you fighting, you like (bites down on her lip.) You doing something with your mouth.
I have said “Ima knock your teeth out.”
We were definitely in an altercation and it’s not that I’m proud of it but you not going to fight me in my house. You’re not going to fight me period. I am your mother and that’s how that go. And there comes a time when you’re fighting another adult, you’ve got to defend yourself.
There really are no words. Just chuckles and yet another reason to brush and floss at night.
Check out the clip from the show in the video below.
Earlier this week, Steve Harvey was under much scrutiny and fire after accidentally crowning the incorrect winner of this year’s live Miss Universe pageant. The Family Feud host named runner up Miss Colombia, Ariadna Gutierrez, the winner instead of Miss Philippines, Pia Wurtzbach, during the live TV broadcast – ouch!
However, after social media read him for filth with endless tweets, Facebook posts, and memes, it looks like Harvey is actually having the last laugh. Yesterday (Dec. 25), he gave everyone that articulated their thoughts on his flub a run for their money by making fun of himself. “Merry Easter y’all!” he captioned a photo of himself where he’s throwing up the peace sign and enjoying a cigar. Conveniently, the background shows his lavish backyard area where the pool is decorated with Christmas fixings like red bows and garland.
We see what you did there, Mr. Harvey! Good to see that the comments didn’t get to him in the least bit.
Do you think Steve Harvey’s family clowns him at the dinner table? When negative headline news hits around the holidays, celebrity Christmas celebrations are guaranteed to get awkward. Wonder how Christmas dinner is going to go at the homes of these folks…
Despite what social media users believed about Steve Harvey, his epic mistake, his intelligence and what it would mean for his future with the Miss Universe organization, most of it is just not true.
Today, during an interview on Jim Rome’s CBS Sports Radio Show, Mark Shapiro, the chief content officer for Miss Universe said Harvey was “very remorseful” about the gaffe and the organization will absolutely welcome him back to host the pageant next year in Belize.
Shapiro said, “[Harvey] did a great job. He was funny, he was informative, he’s high energy, he’s got a great following…I definitely want him back, and I would hate to see him not come back. He’s going to want a shot to redeem himself.”
Shapiro wasn’t the only one who expressed his support for Harvey coming back. The Belize tourism board tweeted this message.
— Belize Tourism Board (@belizevacation) December 21, 2015
Picture it: It’s the final play of the Super Bowl and the team on offense is down by two points. With five seconds left on the clock, the quarterback throws a Hail Mary from the 50-yard line into the end zone.
Surprisingly, a wide receiver from his team catches it midair. But so does a member of the opposing team’s defensive line. In dramatic fashion, the two players fall to the ground, locked in a furious battle to claim possession. Suddenly there is a hush over the stadium.
Is it a touchdown? Or is it an incomplete pass? The referee walks over, takes one look at the embattled players and then raises his arms in a V.
Hail Mary, full of grace: it’s a got-damn touchdown!
The crowd goes wild. The sideline goes wild. The owner’s box goes wild. Everyone is basically wild for the night.
As confetti mysteriously rains from the sky, the winning team bum-rushes and lifts the Vince Lombardi trophy on their shoulders. There are smiles, high-fives, and actual tears. You don’t blame the men for being a little emotional. After all, this is a proud night for the team that has worked hard for this honor.
But just as the quarterback was about to do one final victory dab, several officials, including the referee, walked onto the field carrying a microphone. Everyone gathers around, fully expecting this to be a moment of praise.
But instead, the referee says, “Based on a challenge, we have reviewed the play and determined that there were some clock management issues. Therefore, the game actually ended 10 seconds ago. So in the interest of fairness, we have to take this trophy back and give it to the real winner. My bad. It was still a good night, though. Right?”
And then the official walks off.
That would be pretty messed up. And I highly doubt that folks would be willing to let the referee and the NFL officials slide, even if it had all been a genuine mistake. When it comes to sports, folks just aren’t that understanding and cavalier.
And yet, this is the attitude that most have taken in regards to the recent controversy surrounding the Miss Universe pageant. Over the last day and a half, I read countless responses, reactions and think pieces about the disastrous crowning that basically amount to “Who cares? It’s just a dumb beauty pageant anyway.”
It is true: Beauty pageants are extremely, and historically have been, problematic for all kinds of legitimate reasons. But to be honest, so is professional football. And when you really think about it, there really isn’t that much difference between the big game and the big show.
In football, men are being exploited for their brawn, whereas, in a pageant, women are being exploited for their beauty. And just like professional football players who have to spend countless hours and years getting themselves in peak physical condition, so do professional beauty pageant contestants.
I’m not just talking about the thousands of dollars spent on dresses, makeup, hair and other adornments for competing. But I’m also talking about the grueling dieting, exercising and molding of one’s body so that it fits a narrow definition of a winner. And I’m talking about the pageant coaching, including learning how to smile and walk in heels properly. And I’m talking about always maintaining a clean public image and good social standing. And I’m talking about preparing yourself mentally to be torn apart because your thighs might be too big or boobs too small.
Those women might make it look easy, but most of us know that perfection is just a perfectly skilled and practiced illusion.
And just like professional football players have to endure a grueling selection process, which usually starts in college and high school but can also begin as early as in their childhood, so do professional beauty pageant contestants. Not only have many of those pageants queens been competing since they were toddlers in tiaras, but to even qualify for Miss Universe, a contestant must have battled and won their country’s national competition. In this country, that national pageant is Miss USA.
In fact, the only real difference between the two types of competitions is the value we consciously place on them. And a lot of that, I suspect, has to do with how we ultimately value women in our society.
From beauty pageants to cheerleading to twerk contests to hair battles and more, we tend to have this nasty and misogynistic habit of treating the pursuits, competitions and entertainment that women enjoy as less important than the pursuits, competitions and entertainment geared toward and involving men.
And quite frankly, it’s not cool.
Just for clarity’s sake: I think Steve Harvey is an idiot. But I don’t think he intentionally set out to hurt the contestants. And I am willing to bet he truly feels horrible for his mistake, just like the fictitious rep would have felt in my hypothetical Super Bowl story.
And while the moment definitely had its undeniable humor, I do not believe Harvey deserves to be dragged as viciously as he has through both mainstream and social media. That goes for those of us who are calling him variations of “illiterate coon,” as well as those who are calling him the N-word.
But Harvey is not the only (or even most important) victim here. And I just can’t fully get down with Harvey defenders who flippantly point out how Harvey’s genuine mistake doesn’t matter because it’s just a silly beauty pageant anyway.
More than likely the woman who had the dream of millions of girls and boys realized, only to have it embarrassingly taken off her head in front of an international audience, live. And Miss Universe herself who now has to explain the confusion behind her win, all because of someone else’s mistake.
Surely by now, you’ve heard of Steve Harvey’s huge, embarrassing gaffe. As the host of the live, televised Miss Universe pageant, Harvey misread his cue card and named Miss Colombia the winner of the pageant. They played the music, handed her the flowers and even placed the crown on her head before they had to remove it.
It was nothing short of cringe worthy. For all parties involved, really.
Miss Colombia had to stand there wearing a grimace as the crown was removed from her head and placed on her competitor’s. And Steve Harvey became the new John Travolta when it comes to live television slip ups.
Except this is a bit worse than an “Adele Dazeem” moment. Two women who worked exceptionally hard for this competition. And for almost a full two minutes, one of these women thought she had won the title, bringing honor to herself and her country. But the glory was short-lived.
It was an honest mistake.
The cue card made its way to social media.
I was rooting for Steve, hoping perhaps he was reading the teleprompter instead of the card in his hand. But that doesn’t seem to be the case. Instead, it clearly says that Miss USA was the second runner up, Colombia was the first runner up and then, in the far righthand corner, there was the winner, Miss Philippines. Honestly, it took me years to fully understand the whole 2nd runner up, 1st runner up. For the life of me, I can’t understand why people just don’t say third place, second place and first place. But that’s neither here nor there at this point.
Steve issued several apologies. One on the night of the broadcast and a few more on his Twitter account.
I'd like to apologize wholeheartedly to Miss Colombia & Miss Philippines for my huge mistake. I feel terrible.
— Steve Harvey (@IAmSteveHarvey) December 21, 2015
Secondly, I'd like to apologize to the viewers at that I disappointed as well. Again it was an honest mistake.
— Steve Harvey (@IAmSteveHarvey) December 21, 2015
I don't want to take away from this amazing night and pageant. As well as the wonderful contestants. They were all amazing.
— Steve Harvey (@IAmSteveHarvey) December 21, 2015
But what was even worse than the mistake was the response from social media.
Listen, I understand that with his relationship advice, homophobic ideologies and intolerance, Steve Harvey is a polarizing figure. Still, the way he is being dragged right now, you’d swear he’d committed a capital offense.
People, Black folk, are not only acknowledging the fact that Harvey messed up; which he would have most certainly had coming, but they’ve taken it a step further calling him a coon, illiterate and a slew of other things you might expect to come from the mouth of a neo-Nazi.
I don’t understand people sometimes. This was a nationally and I’m sure internationally televised pageant. And the mistake was broadcast for the world to see. Everyone knows it’s bad. But what the world doesn’t need to see is Black people calling one of their own a coon, a fool, an illiterate. Y’all do know Harvey basically reads teleprompter and cue cards for a living right? If the success of his daytime talk show, morning radio show and “Family Feud” are any indication of his gifts, I’d say he’s pretty good at it. His success as an announcer is likely the reason he was asked to host Miss Universe in the first place.
I’m not one of those people who believe in riding for Black people regardless of whatever wrong they may have done. But Steve Harvey didn’t do anything wrong in this situation. He made a mistake. A huge one, but an honest, human mistake. And it’s sad that instead of seeing it as such, people are ready to forget all his accomplishments and burn him, one of our own, at the stake, while all the world watches.
People are acting as if they were the ones crowned and are now having to deal with the aftermath. Truth of the matter is, Miss Colombia has already made peace with it, saying everything happens for a reason.
Donald Trump even had the nerve to respond, saying this wouldn’t have happened if he still had the rights to the pageant. *Rolls eyes.* This might not have happened under Trump’s tenure, he just would have insulted all the constants of color.
Either way, I don’t want to be in the business of agreeing with Donald Trump or belittling members of our community when they make the type of mistake that could have happened to anybody.
In 1993, when Lorena Bobbitt cut off her then husband’s penis and threw it into a field, I was only six-years-old. But with an action like that, Bobbitt’s name would be floating around in the lexicon for years to come. Not only were there a ton of news stories about her, there were pop culture references, jokes and a whole lot more. So it wasn’t long before I had to ask my parents who she was.
They told me that she had cut off her husband’s penis.
What they didn’t tell me was that she claimed her husband raped her that very same night. But it wasn’t just the rape. She claimed that her husband John Bobbitt forced her to have an abortion, consistently threw his infidelity in her face and emotionally, physically and sexually abused her. With the exception of the the rape allegation, there were witnesses to support that she had indeed been abused and that it had escalated since the beginning of their marriage in 1989.
After Lorena Bobbitt was found not guilty by way of temporary insanity, from all the abuse she’d endured, she and her husband parted ways. She went by her maiden name and tried to keep a low profile, while John Bobbitt starred in a porno, John Wayne Bobbitt: Uncut , to make money. (Once authorities located John’s penis they were able to successfully reattach it.)
Recently, Lorena appeared on the Steve Harvey show to talk about how her life has changed since that summer night in 1993.
She talked about how she’d remarried a man named Dave Bellinger, who never mentions the incident that made her a household name. The couple now have a 10-year-old daughter and even opened a foundation for victims of domestic violence, which I will expound upon later.
But what I found most interesting is the fact that she said her ex-husband made several attempts to contact her.
She told Harvey, “He tried, but I always deleted his number.”
She didn’t say much right then, but a quick wikipedia search revealed that the couple appeared together on “The Insider” in 2009, in their first meeting since their divorce. After saying he didn’t realize she was so sensitive, he apologized to Lorena for the way he treated her during their marriage and Lorena told the world that he still sent her Valentine’s Day cards and flowers. John said that it was a friend of his that was contacting her, not him.
If any good came of this situation, it’s the organization Lorena founded, called “Lorena’s Red Wagon.”
She told Harvey,
“It basically helps women and children through family-oriented activities…I can provide for them. When a victim leaves the house they don’t have time to pack. They just have the first opportunity to leave. If any child in the shelter has a birthday we bring cakes…I want to bring hope to women and children of domestic abuse, and that’s what we do.”
As you might assume, Harvey was full of jokes when Bobbitt first came on stage. But by the end of the interview, he commended her for turning her tragedy into a vehicle to help other battered women and their children.
You can watch her interview with Harvey in the video below.
Steve Harvey is a lot of things. You either love him or hate him. But he’s always struck me as a good father. And his twin daughters Karli and Brandi are lovely ladies. So I was excited to see the news that his daughter Karli was getting married to entrepreneur and business owner Ben Raymond.
Naturally, her father was the one to walk her down the aisle.
But it wasn’t an easy task for Steve or Karli. Both fought back tears and tried not to look at each other as they were preparing to step into the ceremony space. It was a beautiful moment you’ll just have to watch to completely grasp.
Check it out in the video below.
Ben and Karli tied the knot months ago and are just returning from their honeymoon in Bali and Hong Kong. They joined their father and father-in-law on “The Steve Harvey Show” to talk about their wedding day, the honeymoon and about the first holiday season they’ll be spending together, living under the same roof.
You can watch this episode of “The Steve Harvey” show airing today. Check local listings for time and channel in your city, here.