All Articles Tagged "Spouse"
In this day and age, the definition of cheating has required a lot of stretching to include the shady behavior people partake in due to technology. Oh how sexting has broken up a lot of relationships and conversations and photos posted on social media hasn’t made things any better either. And in general, social media has allowed us to not only interact with people we might not have had access to in the past, but it’s also allowed us to have large audiences to rant to, and an opportunity to be more nosey about our partner’s every day comings and goings than we used to be able to be. So with that, there’s a lot of things people need to be more careful about when it comes to how they handle themselves on the computer when they’re in a relationship, specifically on social media. Monitoring yourself can save you a lot of drama…
- Sharing the Details of Your Relationship Online: I’m sure you’ve seen those people who get in a fight with their boyfriend or girlfriend, and then jump on social media and call that person everything BUT a child of God (as my pastor would say). Not only that, but they only tell one side of the story to individuals online and use their Facebook and Twitter to vent and say, “___ ain’t s**t!” It’s best to keep your squabbles with your partner to yourself, or learn to talk these situations out because you need to for the betterment of your relationship…not because you got caught talking reckless in your Tweet ;last night, and now all hell is breaking loose…
- Sharing Scandalous Photos of Yourself or Taking Them With Others: I’m sure you love your new Instagram account, but I hope you understand the importance of not taking scandalous pics of yourself in the bathroom mirror, on the bed, or any other random place you can think of and posting it online. Nobody likes seeing their girlfriend or boyfriend’s profile picture being ogled by strangers online who make creepy demands (“Can I see more of that???” but in more broken english). Nor should you be at parties or events with friends of the opposite sex all hugged up and getting way too friendly. If you decide to do so, expect some drama to ensue if your partner comes across it.
- Entertaining Random People Who Try to Contact You: Everyone enjoys a compliment from time to time, especially if you’re not getting it from your partner as often as you would like. But having back and forth correspondences with the cute guy who direct messaged you is not a good idea. Especially if Mr. Man is a stranger. I’m sure you have no real plans to meet this person or get to know them further (or at least I hope you don’t), so I wouldn’t recommend messing around and getting caught flirting with someone you won’t remember or care anything about a month from now.
- Saying Things to Folks You Wouldn’t Say in Front of Your Significant Other: This one speaks for itself. If you wouldn’t tell a person “You could get it” in front your mate, you might want to choose your words wisely online. People like to think that because you decide to delete something it’s gone and all proof of what you wrote is gone, but once folks see it, it’s out there (and probably out there to stay if word spreads fast–that’s why celebs struggle on Twitter). Anything you had to do a double take behind your back to make sure no one saw you type might warrant you keeping things PG. Hell, G actually.
- But In the End, Don’t Spy on Your Spouse Through Their Social Media Accounts: Crazy, right!? But hey, I wouldn’t recommend being “Big Brother” over your own partner’s social media pages. From going through the conversations posted on his/her pages (and doing background checks on the people who they were talking to), to trying to get the password to their accounts and starting fights over what folks posted on that person’s wall, just calm down. All you can really do is trust your partner and hope that your significant other isn’t out there being scandalous (or that they don’t have an account with a fake name to allow them to act a fool), but letting social media create a rift in your relationship is not a good look. So don’t let it.
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So you meet the man of your dreams, set up shop and make plans to grow old together. Then you find out that his plan does not include having children…ever.
Do you: a) run for the hills; b) give up your hopes of having a mini-me to call your own; or c) proceed with the marriage and then flush your contraception down the toilet so you can get pregnant anyway?
Last week’s episode of Cafe Mom Studios’ Coffee Shop Confessions took on the topic and, more broadly, the idea of lying to your spouse. The subject of debate? A mother who says that she stopped taking her birth control pills without her husband’s knowledge (and against his will presumably) and is now expecting their third child.
“Talk about deceitful!” says Timberly Whitfield, who co-hosts the 10-part YouTube series with Andrew Shue of “Melrose Place” and co-founder of Do Something, Alex McCord of the “Real Housewives of New York,” and actress and dancer Julie Knight.
An international survey conducted in 2009 revealed that spouses are most likely to mislead each other over their whereabouts, but most are far more scrupulous on matters related to sex, money and “the kids.”
For the complete story, visit BlackVoices.com.
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If you are legally married and share a home with your spouse for most of the tax year, you’re eligible to file your taxes as either “Married Jointly” or “Married Separately.” The difference between the two statuses is mainly in the amount of standard deductions you’re allowed to claim. Married filing jointly gets more tax breaks than opting for married but filing separately.
Whether it’s better to file jointly or separately depends on many different factors, including your total income, your available deductions or credits, and the status of your marriage. When in doubt, contact a tax law professional who can give you a professional opinion based on your specific details. But here are a few things to consider when deciding which one is better for you and your husband.
Things to Consider When Filing Separately
- Only one person can claim the tax deductions and credits relating to your children. In some cases, this might mean that the person who files claiming the kids will get money back while the person who doesn’t claim them will owe money.
- Depending on the laws in your state and the details of your marriage–prenuptial agreement terms, length of marriage, etc–you may not be entitled to any money your husband receives as a refund.
- Filing “Married Separately” is different than filing “Single.” You still need your spouse’s signature on the tax return if you’re filing any type of married status.
- Although your tax rate is based on many factors, filing “Married Separately” generally makes your tax rate higher than filing “Married Jointly”.
Things to Consider When Filing Jointly
- If your spouse has some sort of debt that the government can withhold through his tax refund, your money will likely get taken, too. This includes old tax bills, unearned unemployment benefits, and unpaid child support.
- Any refund money and any tax bill from your return will be a joint asset or debt.
- You will need to wait for your spouse to gather his financial paperwork–W-2 forms, 1099s, etc–before you can file.
- If your spouse is dishonest about anything on the tax return, you can be liable for the repercussions. The IRS can go back as far as six years to audit your returns. Even if you’re not together anymore, you and your spouse both are responsible for any issues related to your joint returns.
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When it comes to the people you love the most in the world it can be hard to choose who’s going to get your attention, when and how much of it. We took to the streets of New York to pose this tricky question to some passers by, asking them in a marriage who comes first your spouse or your children. We made the stakes even higher by asking who would come first in a life or death situation. See what these people had to say in the video above.
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There may be something more to coming home after a long day and having your feet rubbed—other than it feeling good. According to a new study, employees under stress who have strong spousal support are better able to handle work and people on the job. When 400 blue- and white-collar couples were compared, stressed out employees with support at home had the following benefits over those who don’t:
- 50 percent higher rates of satisfaction with their marriage;
- 33 percent greater likelihood of having positive relationships with co-workers;
- 30 percent lower likelihood of experiencing guilt associated with home/family neglect;
- 30 percent lower likelihood of being critical of others (spouse, children) at home;
- 25 percent higher rates of concentration levels at work;
- 25 percent lower likelihood of experiencing fatigue at home after work;
- 25 percent higher rates of satisfaction with the amount of time spent with their children;
- 20 percent higher views that their careers were heading in the right direction; and
- 20 percent higher level of job satisfaction,
“Given that a lack of support from one’s spouse represents a major cause of both divorce and career derailment, this research is needed to address issues that affect both home and work,” said study author Wayne Hochwarter, the Jim Moran Professor of Business Administration in the Florida State University College of Business. ”When you’re still angry or upset from yesterday’s stress, your workday will likely go in only one direction — down.”
That effect isn’t exactly shocking, but what’s key in these relationships is knowing exactly what support your partner needs. As Hochwarter pointed out, “Some attempts to support your stressed-out spouse can backfire, actually making the situation much worse.” But there were certain supportive characteristics that had a deep impact for most couples such as:
- Awareness of one’s spouse’s daily work demands (i.e., time pressures, lack of resources, deadlines, and supervisors).
- Not “forcing support.”
- Understanding that communication lines are open regardless of the circumstances.
- Recognizing that distancing oneself from the family or lashing out is not a practical way to foster help. In fact, it tends to bring out the worst in others — and even causes the supporting spouse to become distant and act out as well.
- Being able to bring one’s spouse back to the middle — up when down in the dumps and down when overly agitated.
- Not bombarding the family with complaints about minor workplace irritants.
- Not trying to “one-up” one’s spouse in terms of who has had the worse day.
- Not being complacent — continuing to work at it.
- Remaining rational and not automatically casting the spouse as the “bad guy.”
- Not keeping a running tab on who is giving and who is getting.
At the end of the day, Hochwarter said the most telling sign of a supportive partner was “the ability for a spouse to offer support on days when he or she needs it just as much.”
“In many cases, both return home from work stressed. Generating the mental and emotional resources needed to help when your own tank is empty is often difficult. Successful couples almost always kept a steady supply of support resources on reserve to be tapped on particularly demanding days.”
Do you and your partner equally support each other after a long day of work? Do you notice a difference in your attitude toward your job the next day?
Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.
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