All Articles Tagged "son"
As an only child for all of my 24 years, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my solitude and being dubbed the “only child.” Nonetheless, I’ve always wondered what life would be like with siblings, even if they weren’t necessarily related by blood.
Well, for the past two years I’ve gotten my own first-hand experience of what it’s like, as my mother and her boyfriend have slowly integrated our two separate households into one. While it’s just my mother and I, her significant other has three kids: two sons in their mid to late twenties and a daughter in her mid-teens. Although we don’t all live together, we stay in contact, visit, and gather for events and family gatherings often.
However, in the past two years I’ve distanced myself from their family for personal reasons. And in my case, it was one text message that started it all.
“What’s going on with us?” my phone read around 10 p.m. It was the oldest son of my mother’s boyfriend.
“Excuse me?” I replied.
“You know,” he continued.
In my mind I thought to myself, “Yes, I know what you mean and hell no I’m not going there with you.” I refrained though. Although that incest-like text truly warranted a swear-heavy reply, I stopped myself. Confused and very much disgusted, I sat my phone back on the table and went about my night. He had never made a pass at me before and was always cordial. Actually, I remember him coming to a party with a friend and I and us all having a good time. Nothing ever seemed sketchy with him until that night. But even the last time I saw him there was nothing hinting towards flirtation. We simply made small talk about my move to New York and on his on accord his girlfriend. While I was never one for small talk, when talking to him I kept conversation topics to a minimum, discussing school and work, nothing regarding my personal life/relationships, so you’d understand my confusion.
The next day I looked at the phone again hoping that it was all a dream. Unfortunately, it wasn’t. After weeks of debating whether or not to tell my mother, for fear of making things possibly weird in her own flourishing relationship, I finally decided to tell her. “What?!” she shrieked in surprise. I ended up telling her not to worry about the situation. I had decided to simply not respond back in hopes that he got the message that “us” was not happening. Of course, being a protective and caring parent, my mom brought up the situation to her boyfriend, but he didn’t seem to think anything of it.
At this point, I’m over the situation and find it quite funny. I haven’t heard from the guy since and being that I no longer live in the same city the likelihood of me running into him is slim to none. However, I am still faced with the task of showing up for holidays or family gatherings when I am in town. This year I skipped out on stopping by their house to catch up with their family because I just wasn’t up for explaining to him that even though we’re not blood, this “thing” he thinks that could happen between us would never happen in his wildest dreams.
If you were in my situation, what would you do?
Dear Tom Hanks,
Never in my life did I think I would be writing Tom Hanks a letter. But, here I am in 2015 writing you, buddy. I hope you don’t mind me calling you “buddy,” but you seem like the sort of father I could have grown up knowing. See, Tom, a good part of my life was growing up around White parents that resembled you and son’s that lookd like you kid Chester. Most of them were good, hard working people that were just looking to raise their kids. It just so happened my family and two other Black families decided to break the color barrier in a certain section of Newark on the outskirts of Delaware back in the day.
Tom, I am going to leap to the present day for a minute before I go back to my rearing in Delaware. I promise there is a rhyme and a reason. Lets get to the rhyme: your son, Chester, aka rapper Chet Haze, aka a white guy that feels strongly he should be able to use the N-Word despite the objections of…anybody. Here is what he said – word for word – on his Instagram account.
If I say the word nigga I say it amongst people I love and who love me. If I say “f**k yall hatin ass n***az” it’s because that’s really how I felt at the time. And I don’t accept society getting to decide what ANYBODY can or can’t say. That’s something we call FREE SPEECH. Now I understand the older generation who grew up in the Jim Crowe era might have strong feelings against this. And that’s understandable… But what I’m saying is this is 2015… And even tho we are still far from where we need to be and black people are still being literally KILLED by a RACIST and fucked up system… We have also reached a point where the word can no longer have a negative connotation if we so choose. And who is to say only black people can use it? The way I see it, it’s a word that unifies the culture of HIP-HOP across ALL RACES, which is actually kind of a beautiful thing. It’s a word that can be used out of camaraderie and love, not just exclusively for black people. What’s the point in putting all these built up “rules” about it. It’s time to let go. You can hate me or love me for it, but can’t nobody tell me what I can or can’t say. It’s got nothing to do with trying to be a thug. It’s about the culture of the music. And that’s all I have to say about that (no pun intended) lol. It’s all love. Some people will get it, some people won’t. Either way, Ima keep living my life however the fuck I want. ALL LOVE.
There is so much wrong in this stupid post that I cannot begin to address it in a single sitting, Tom. I think the fallacies and the foolishness speaks for itself. So, I am going to question you, because you are Chet’s daddy and he, my Hollywood friend, is a reflection of you. Why does your boy want to use the N-Word so bad? Why’s he using it anyway? Did you all use it in the house a lot? Or was it his white, hot lustful burning love of Black people, culture and Hip-Hop music that make him long to spew the word as symbol of his camaraderie? Do you think he would take a bullet for his African American Hip-Hop comrades? Since he mentioned racists and a f**ked up system, is he out here marching to fight the evils that we Black people face daily? Does he want to play in the Black playground a bit without once delving into what life is truly like?
Back to Delaware and me, Tom.
I am bringing it back to my life, because I wonder how many real Black people your boy Chester knows. While growing up, a white boy that looks a lot like your son Chester called my best friend a n***er on the way to school. My friend proceeded to bash his head in on the school bus and they had to pull him off of that kid. They kicked my friend off the bus after that, but he was never called a n***er again. Tom, I too have been called that ugly word too. There’s no need to share all the stories with you, because you can gather that it is still a very sensitive topic and word.
I gotta tell you, bro, you have a problem here. Chester is making you look a bit crazy and we used to wonder what went on in the house of those white kids that said n***er. If Black people tell you not to use a word considered derogatory, who is your boy to say otherwise? Talk to him, Tom. Don’t pin the tail on the donkey of Hip-Hop when you talk and don’t let Chet either. As parents, we have to raise our kids right and check them hard when they are very wrong. If you don’t, somebody else will. I’m a little older and wiser – not Jim Crow era – but the younger me would probably try to turn Chez into a human pretzel or something. OK, I know I wasn’t going to share any more stories, but here is a quick one. In college, some White students from the University of Delaware in a car did a “drive-by” calling me a n***er. Tom, I instinctively picked up this gigantic cobblestone rock and threw it. I missed and that was a good thing. The cops were right there to witness it all. Imagine if I had hit that car or somebody in it.
Sure there are some Black people out here that willingly allow White people to call them n***a or n***er. That does not you we should do it. The great Ice-T once said, “Freedom of Speech…Just watch what you say.” This slogan applies to everybody even though he was talking about Black people under persecution. In Baltimore recently, a Black man was peacefully protesting at a march, but he happened to have a t-shirt that said “F**k The Police.” Don’t you know those cops yanked him by his locks (dreadlocks), pepper sprayed him and cuffed him, seemingly for wearing such a shining example of Freedom of Speech? Check the video, Tom. You gotta see this!
The point is: we don’t just get to do what we we want in life. If you are rich, White and a male you may grow up thinking that. That’s how privilege and White Supremacy tends to work. Perhaps you and Chester aka ill rapper Chet Haze and tell me that. Its bad enough that this sort of appropriation is rampant in the world, but for it to be infiltrating Hip-Hop is a travesty. Hip-Hop music gave Black and Brown people a voice when there was no voice. It made businesses and opportunity where there was none. It yelled a that “RACIST and f***ed up system” that your boy spoke about. It didn’t stop there: it sought to change it. These days, some say Hip-Hop today is all messed up.
The system is still messed up and rap music reflects that. We are still messed up and your son and those like him want to fight for the right to use the word that continues to degrade. Unacceptable, Tom. Talk to you boy before he tries to gain entry into this world of Blackness and Hip-Hop. (Let Chet read this piece from talented white producer songwriter Mike Posner called “We Have No Idea What It’s Like To Be Black In America”) Teach him about the wonder of people of color, if you know. Teach him about the gains and losses Black people deal with. Teach him respect.
If you don’t somebody will. Take it from a guy that’s come across quite a few Chet’s in his life.
P.S. For the record, there are a lot of terms of endearment in the Black community. We call each other king, queen, brother, sister and even god. Tell Chet to use those, especially “god.” 🙂
Three days after her son’s pool incident, Tameka Raymond has taken to Instagram to express gratitude for her son’s safety. We can’t imagine how the mother of five, who just lost a son last year, must have felt when she got the call that Usher V was being taken to the ICU after getting his arm stuck in the pool drain. Thankfully, the five-year-old survived and is doing well, as Tameka noted in the photo above, with this message:
My favorite 5 year old. What a blessing! I have always loved and appreciated my sons but tragedies and close calls make this even more evident. URV had an angel named Kile Ishmael and our Lord and true savior to look after him. Words cannot express the relief and how thankful to God I truly am. Thank you Jehovah God, Jesus and Kile
With so many celebrity women popping out babies these days, it’s been hard to keep up with who we’ve already met and which new mamas are keeping their newborn’s under wraps. Up until a few days ago, Phaedra Parks was in the hideout category, but thanks to a spread in US Weekly, we’ve finally gotten a chance to see her handsome baby boy who, by the way, is named Dylan.
Phaedra gave birth back in May and kept her son’s name under wraps for the past two months, initially telling US Weekly, “We’ve been calling the baby Mr. President!” and saying she and Apollo were waiting to have a traditional African naming ceremony before debuting his namesake to the world. Now we’ve gotten a formal introduction to the little prince in a magazine spread showcasing the gorgeous Nilda family and honestly, it gets no cuter than this!
It’s great to see little Dylan is doing well after being born three weeks premature and do you see Mr. Ayden over there looking as grown as he can be! It’s hard to believe Phaedra and Apollo’s first son is already 3 years old, it seems like just yesterday that Dwight was planning his first birthday party, right? Now he’s a big boy and a big brother.
If you can’t wait for the next season of “Real Housewives of Atlanta” to spot more Nilda family preciousness, check out the August 5 issue of US they’re featured in. What do you think of the spread?
I hate a sorry father as much as the next woman, but I have a particular distaste for messy girlfriends, baby mamas and wives as well, and Rasheeda is quickly finding herself a member of that group. Though everyone feels immense sympathy for the “Love & Hip-Hop” star whose husband Kirk is clearly acting like everything but a loving husband and father, Instagram is not the place to air out grievances with your spouse. But then again I’m talking about a couple airing out all their business on reality TV so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by this, huh?
Anyway, over the weekend, Rasheeda put her husband Kirk on blast in the worst way on Instagram. Though the site may be for pics, Rasheeda got her textgram on in a heartbeat, calling Kirk out, this time, not for abandoning her, but for abandoning their son.
Here’s what she wrote:
On top of mentioning Kirk in the post, Rasheeda put her husband’s IG handle in the text underneath the Textgram, writing “Ky is waiting” and 1,800 of her eager followers jumped right into the mess with her, applauding her for putting “that deadbeat clown on front street.”
Kirk absolutely deserves to be embarrassed, but I can’t help put feel like Rasheeda’s child is being put on front street just as much as his dad. You can’t make a man be a daddy no matter how much you blow him up on social media. She might want to file paperwork rather than Internet posts.
What do you think about Rasheeda’s message?
Remember Wednesday when we told you “106 & Park” had the genius idea to start an #AskDraya hashtag on Twitter where fans could send questions to the “Basketball Wives LA” cast member in anticipation of her appearance on the show Thursday? And remember how quickly that seemingly innocent idea went downhill when every single person involved asked Draya questions related to her lack of parenting skills — like “on a scale of Helen Keller to Ray Charles how often do you see your son” — and the shade was so strong #AskDraya was actually trending for a while?
Well when the reality TV star actually headed to the “106 & Park” stage to co-host with Bow Wow yesterday evening, it was only natural that she’d address all the negativity that came her way — and more importantly the allegations that she remains the epitome of a bad mother, even after the increased fame and money that’s come with being on a VH1 show. Sitting with her co-host for the day, she attempted to clear her bad mother name, saying:
“Well, the first thing is, of course, I don’t expect people to understand my life because it’s my life. I’m not a bad parent in anyway. And I’m lucky enough to have fans who actually followed me on the show and they know the path that I’m try to choose and set for my family and the direction we’re trying to go.”
When it came to the subject of how she deals with haters, which appears to be the name being given to those who assume she’s a terrible mom, she said:
“Well, I got so many. I’m starting to think that they really don’t hate me. I think they are confused and they are admirers. That’s what someone told me, haters are confused admirers. I don’t deal with them. I just let them hate on their own… I just feel like if you’re thinking about me — negative or positive — you’re still thinking about me.”
You can check out everything else Draya had to say about her life in the video below. What do you think about her bad parenting rebuttal?
Black Twitter has never been known to exercise chill. Case in the point, the #AskDraya trending topic making a mockery of one Draya Michele.
Long story short; Michele is one of the stars of VH1’s reality show Basketball Wives: Los Angeles and a, shall we say, “woman about town.” The source of the vitriol hurled her way are her much criticized parenting skills, or lack thereof. Born Andraya Howard, she was found guilty of child endangerment back in 2010 for leaving her then 7-year-old son in Wyomissing, Pa. while she was busy working stripper poles in Philadelphia. It came to light on the show, she denied it, but the police report said it was true.
Then today, BET started an #AskDraya hashtag to coincide with her appearance on 106 & Park. Bad move—the slander shortly reached unholy levels. Also, for the record, Hip-Hop Wired had an #AskDraya Bangin Candy video post popping last year. Y’all just showed more chill. Thanks, we think.
Draya Michele was most recently seen kicking it backstage at this weekend’s Hot 97 Summer Jam XX concert. Nope, her son was nowhere in sight. Anyway, today’s slander seems exceptionally cold-blooded, even by Black Twitter standards. Check out the 15 meanest tweets in the following pages. Clutch your Bibles tight…
Read more tweets on HipHopWired.com.
Here’s round two of the baby birth news for today. US Weekly just learned that “Real Housewives of Atlanta’s” Phaedra Parks and Apollo Nida just dropped their bun in the oven! A source told the mag that Phaedra gave birth to the couple’s second son today in Atlanta and “Mom and baby are doing great.”
Thank God all that drama on the three RHOA reunions didn’t affect Phaedra and Apollo’s little bundle! Though there aren’t any details on the name or the baby’s weight, we’re sure he’s a cutie just like the couple’s 2-year-old son Ayden, and we can only imagine how the southern belle will spoil the new prince in the house. Remember Ayden’s first birthday party?
Surprisingly, the reality TV couple hasn’t spilled the beans on Twitter yet, but it looks like the little one came just in time. Less than a day ago, Phaedra sent out this tweet which likely helped the pair welcome their new pride and joy into the world safely today.
— Phaedra Parks, Esq.(@PhaedraParks) May 8, 2013
Mother’s Day is almost here, a great time to continue to celebrate the great loves of our lives: our mothers. While mothers and grandmothers are being celebrated, let’s not forget to acknowledge the moms-to-be this Spring!
Wish the expectant mother-to-be in your life a great pre-Mother’s Day on her behalf with a great gift to help her along her pregnancy, and to let her know that she’s celebrated too!
Sir, Who Asked You? Chris Brown’s Dad Talks About Why He Doesn’t Think Chris & Rihanna Should Be Together
Well, apparently, somebody asked this man to open his mouth.
The NY Daily News caught up to Chris Brown’s dad, Clinton, to talk to him about his son and Rihanna’s relationship. Seeing as though we’ve never heard much from him in the past, you know he took every opportunity to chat it up.
When asked about the twosome, Brown said:
“I personally really didn’t want him and Rihanna back together. You have to have a balance in a relationship. You have to have someone who is spontaneous and whimsical but you also have to have someone who is grounded and logical.”
You know, it’s not that what he’s saying is incorrect but why even talk about it? I get it, everyone else has publicly had their say so why not Papa Brown? But by now, he should know that neither Chris nor Rihanna care about what people say about their relationship.
Clinton also added that his pick for his son would have been Jordin Sparks who he called a “wholesome young lady” who’s also very pretty. A few years ago, Jordin would have agreed with him because she had quite the crush on him for a long time.
Thankfully, he didn’t “down” Rihanna. He said he met her a few years ago during the first go ’round of “Chrianna” and said she was very respectful and polite. Still, he just feels like his son could have moved on from her and found someone better.
I wonder if Chris or Rihanna will respond to this story. Neither of them is known for staying quiet when someone has something to say about them.
What do you think? Should Chris’ father just have stayed quiet about this whole thing, especially since the “talk” has died down a lot?