All Articles Tagged "social media"
Twitter will now offer users more than 140 characters. The popular social networking site has unveiled Periscope, an interactive video app that let’s you broadcast in real-time to your followers.
Sound somewhat familiar?
Well, Twitter acquired live video-streaming company Periscope in January. It’s clear that the social media juggernaut wastes no time, rolling out the app, which allows followers to interact in real-time by commenting and “sharing ‘hearts’,” as VentureBeat noted.
“A picture may be worth a thousand words, but live video can take you someplace and show you around,” the Periscope team said in a release on Medium.com.
The app is also a direct competitor to Meerkat, the new live streaming app introduced recently. With news of a building explosion on Second Avenue in Manhattan, Periscope is already trending on Twitter as users livestream from the scene.
Mashable reports that the apps simple design and easy-to-use navigation make it a more polished product than Meerkat. Fellow live-streaming app Meerkat has been gaining traction and popularity, which could’ve led to the quick release of Periscope
Here’s how the live-streaming app works:
Like Vine, you have to sign-in with your Twitter credentials. When you launch Periscope, you’ll see a list which is divided into “Featured” Periscope users, including early adopters like Shonda Rhimes and magician David Blaine, and people who you follow who are currently on Periscope. Don’t feel pressured to keep all those on that list. The app allows you to deselect and pick and choose who you want to follow.
In the Watch area, you’ll see a list of videos. At the top are your current broadcasts as well as recently recorded ones. When you broadcast, you can choose to make it public or private. You’ll have to hit the “lock” icon prior to broadcasting to select the individuals you want to invite if you’re opting for the private option. Periscope allows a tweet to be sent out to your followers when your broadcast begins, so they can watch via the Twitter site or in Periscope if they have the app installed.
Once your broadcast has ended, it can be viewed for 24 hours as a “replay,” or deleted immediately or saved to your camera roll.
Periscope is a standalone app currently available on iOS.
Will you try Periscope? If so, let us know why in the comments section below.
Women who use Facebook are apt to feel less happy with their lives. This is according to a study by the University of Gothenburg in Sweden. Another study, this time from the University of Georgia, found that social networks play on self-esteem (good and bad) and even encourage some narcissistic tendencies. They say that people who log on to Facebook daily boost their self-esteem.
Here you have two studies with different results. Nonetheless, both share one commonality: frequent social media use can affect how you feel about yourself. S. Shyam Sundar, a researcher from Penn State said in an article on Psychology Today that, “The more you get connected to Facebook and social media, the stronger you feel the items you post are part of your identity.” These studies and Sundar’s comments basically confirmed what I already assumed: social media is a powerful tool and can affect our perception of ourselves and our lives. This was reason enough for me to decrease my use of it. But there are other reasons.
Here is a shameful confession: I was once guilty of social media comparison. I looked at other people’s pages and at times compared my situation with theirs. I wondered how the frequent travelers got money or time off of work to travel as much as they did. And while I did my fair share of traveling, I couldn’t help but think that my passport stamps were nothing compared to the places that these people had been and seen.
Then there were the fashionistas who post every outfit they own (or don’t own). Initially it was entertainment because I genuinely love fashion, but then it became an obsession. I too wanted the latest Louboutins every other month, but my monthly bills shut that desire down as quickly as it popped into my head. How depressing.
And of course I was bothered by the people who are just so damn successful, at least according to their social media pages. It seemed like they literally had at least 30 hours a day compared to my 24. While I’ve achieved a lot of professional success in my own life, when I glanced at the professionals on my social media pages, I couldn’t help but think that I needed to grind harder and that I hadn’t done enough with my life.
If I had to choose which social media study described me during that time, it would be the one where it negatively affects one’s self-esteem. Thankfully I got out of this naive way of thinking, partly because I now limit my social media usage and use more common sense, knowing that most things online aren’t what they seem.
But as a mentor of young girls, I can’t help but be concerned about their self-esteem as it relates to what they see on social media. Filters that make everyone look flawless and posts that make every life seem more appealing than your own can wreak havoc on an impressionable girl’s image of herself, just as they did on my own.
Still, social media isn’t all bad. It’s a good way to connect with friends, promote businesses, and simply be entertained. It only becomes a problem when you use it to boost your self-esteem based on likes, compare yourself to others, and begin to take it all too seriously.
Here’s a bit of rationale. Think about it: you only post when you look or feel your best. You usually refrain from doing so on the days when your hair is unkempt, you think you haven’t had much sleep, and it’s showing on your face. Remember that the happy, living-the-good-life posts you see are only a portion of people’s lives, and if you’re not careful, you will think something is wrong with yours for not being as consistently entertaining and like-worthy.
I’m a firm believer that social media should not be the first and last thing you see or do every night; it’s best to limit the amount of time you spend snooping on other people’s photos altogether.
Even the strongest girl with a high self-esteem can’t help but be affected by all she sees on social media if it consumes the majority of her day. So let social media be a form of entertainment and not a determinant of how you value yourself and your life.
Breakups are never easy. Love will make you do some crazy things when you’re all bae’d up, but it’ll also make you think crazy thoughts once you’re bae-less. With Twitter, Instagram and Facebook ruling our lives and relationship statuses, social media has become the go-to place to share such thoughts–even for the stars.
With subliminal shots and salty comments flying every other day, here are 10 things celebrities are guilty of doing online that you should avoid after calling it quits with your own ex.
I’ve never understood why some women feel the need to post all of their body and business on the Internet. Actually, I’ve never understood why some women do a lot of the things they do on social media, and the shenanigans only seem to get worse when they’re in a relationship. Trust me, there is nothing worse than witnessing a woman play herself publicly by being too forthcoming with any and every detail about her relationship.
Ladies, whether you’re here for it or not, there is a certain etiquette you should follow when it comes to talking about your relationship on social media. There are unspoken rules, and while other women won’t come right out and tell you, I’m here to let you know that your relationship posts have probably been fodder for gossip and laughter on many occasions–if you’re in violation, that is.
Here are a few things I often see that literally make me want to send a private message to let folks know they are being way too “extra” on social media.
Going Way Too Hard For Him When He Doesn’t Do The Same For You
There is one woman on my timeline who recently got engaged. While I’m happy for her, I never thought her relationship was going to reach that level. That’s not to say that there is anything wrong with her, but it’s because her beau always looks so uninterested in the back-to-back photos she posts of him. From the first date she was posting that he was the love of her life. And while she always looks extremely excited in every picture, he often looks like he would rather be somewhere else. Luckily for her, everything worked out. But she still took a huge gamble by putting her relationship out there so early and in such an over-the-top way.
Being Too Eager With Your Relationship Status Too Soon
If you’ve been with your guy for less than a month, it’s probably too early to change your relationship status or post pics of the two of you together. True, the two of you have agreed to be exclusive and you’re really excited about it so you want the world to know. That’s sweet. Problem is, the relationship is fresh and things could go sour pretty quick. If this happens, you’re stuck with having to change your relationship status back to single. Once that post hits, the questions will soon follow and a lot of those questions will be from nosy people you don’t even interact with on a daily basis. Yes, people are that nosy and that bold. To avoid this, make sure you have something solid before making the status change. Or better yet, don’t let people know that you’re in a new relationship at all.
Exposing All The Ups And Downs Of Your Relationship
Now this one always gets a roll-of-the-eyes from me.
This woman has flooded your timeline, tagging her mate in sappy love posts and while reciting lyrics to love songs. All of a sudden, she turns around and lets the world know the very next day that he has been cheating and is an “ain’t sh*t dude.” I’ve pegged these women as emotionally unstable posters who don’t know how to pick up a phone, but want to share their angst with anyone who might be on their side and show them sympathy. If you’re that woman, know that no one wants to jump on the rollercoaster ride that is your relationship along with you. Only a bored and equally unstable person would be interested in seeing this kind of drama play out on their timeline. If you and your boyfriend are at odds, talk to him, or keep it to yourself.
Public Displays Of Jealousy
If another woman comments on your mate’s status, please do not feel the need to comment right after her to upstage her or talk crazy to her. It makes you look desperate and gives others room to speculate about your situation. Everyone can see when a woman is seeking validation and it’s not a good look. As long as the woman’s comment isn’t disrespectful and you trust your man, you don’t need to enter every conversation that he has on social media to make your presence known. Besides, another woman paying your man a compliment shouldn’t send you over the edge.
Trying To Convince Everyone Else That Your Relationship Is Solid
I have patience with this one, but after a while, it gets old. A woman that mentions her boo in every single one of her posts can be cute, but it begs the question – who is she trying to convince? Does she not have his phone number? Is she really as happy as she wants you to believe?
Call me petty, but I just don’t think people need to know all that much about your relationship. I’m very old-fashioned in that way. While we might want to scream from the mountaintops about the people who make us happy, it’s not necessarily a good idea. Have something for yourself and be happy, and if you’re not, work that out between you and your man. Besides, the less another person knows about your relationship, the less information they have to be able to poke holes in it.
Is it harmful or harmless for your man to check up on the goings-on of his ex?
That is the question a woman who reached out to me for advice asked the other day. She and her boyfriend have been dating for almost a year now and they seem to be going strong. However, she is troubled by the fact he has been lurking on his ex-girlfriend’s Facebook page.
While trying to use his laptop to pay a bill one day, she typed in the letter ‘f’. One of the first things to come up was a Facebook link followed by the name of his ex. Without a second though, she clicked on it, and there this former flame was: the woman her boyfriend had dated for two years; the woman his family was still a big fan of; the woman he claimed did him oh so dirty. There she was, in countless photos, cheesing it up. And while browsing through an ex’s news feed doesn’t equate to an affair, she told me that she was hurt by the fact that he even cared to know what homegirl was up to. Why was she still on his mind?
When she confronted him about it, she claimed that he didn’t understand what the problem was and felt like she was overreacting. He hadn’t reached out to his ex. Instead, he just thought of her out of the blue and curiosity pushed him to take a look at her page to see what she was up to. Nothing more, nothing less. To keep her happy though, he claimed it wouldn’t happen again.
But what does it really mean to you when your partner goes about looking up their ex?
Curiosity drives us to do a lot of things, but I think there’s a difference between looking at what your ex is up to and trying to contact them to get back an old thing. The woman I spoke with did the right thing by being upfront and letting her partner know what she saw and how she felt about it. Now that he’s aware of the fact that she doesn’t appreciate him checking up on his former flame on social media, he can take note of the way it makes her feel and cut it out if his intentions are truly harmless (and if he is truly happy in this new relationship). But if it keeps happening, then they might have an actual problem on their hands.
But honestly, lots of people stay “connected” through social media with people they used to date. I know I do. But I was “friends” with two of my former boyfriend way before I met my current boyfriend. Our interactions are very limited, and when they post pictures that end up in my feed, I smile at the progress they’ve made, the pics of them with the parent I used to get along well with, and even the new cute girlfriends in their lives. It’s all love at this point.
Okay, I won’t lie: I might giggle a little bit if they look rounder than they used to…
Still, I have no interest in reconnecting with them, even to talk. And if my boyfriend had a problem with this, I would be happy to unfollow them because what we have is important to me.
I say all that to say that it can be a harmless thing to be in a relationship with someone who every once in a blue moon, might look to see what has become of their ex. Being curious about what someone is up to is different than looking them up to stare longingly at their photos and try to get back in touch with them. If you find out that your partner has looked up his ex, letting them know how you feel is best, and all you can do is trust that they will stop if it makes you uncomfortable. But if their actions go further than a quick peek and you find out that things have become inappropriate, or even that they’ve continued to look up their ex after you made your feelings known, that’s not okay. That is when some real decisions need to be made about whether or not you need to move forward with this person, or if they need to take their behind back to ol’ girl.
But what do you think? Is it petty to be upset about your boyfriend looking up his ex on social media?
Brooklyn Wine Yard was packed with business-minded women looking to take their startups and companies to the next level. Hosted by Innov8tiv, Ibom LLC, MadameNoire and Social Media Week NY, “Grow Your Brand” provided attendees with invaluable knowledge on what makes a great pitch and ways to brand yourself in the digital age.
The pitch portion, which was hosted by Ariel Lopez, founder of 2020Shift and career coach at General Assembly, and yours truly featured Jessica Santana, co-founder of Brooklyn On Tech and Worldwide Boss; Kianta Key, founder of EveryBody; and Michelle Gall, founder of Digital Girl, Inc., among other women in tech. After each entrepreneur delivered a three-to-five minute pitch, the pitch coaches—Anthony Frasier, co-founder of The Phat Startup; Chana Ewing, founder and president of littlebigGirl + CO; Eddie Washington, business development producer at General Assembly; and Associate Managing Editor at Black Enterprise Janell Hazelwood.
The conversation spread beyond the four corners of the venue and across Twitter timelines via the event’s hashtag, #smwnetworq. Here are several tips shared during Tuesday’s Social Media Week event:
“provide a story, give stats, and provide solution” #smwNetWorq
— Shirley Schutt (@OhShirl) February 25, 2015
— Derrica (@DerricaNM) February 25, 2015
— The Phat Startup (@ThePhatStartup) February 25, 2015
— Shantae J. Edwards (@theshantaej) February 25, 2015
— Desiree Frieson (@dfrieson) February 25, 2015
Pitching advice: you don’t need to tell your whole story in your deck. Problem, solution, why you #smwNetWorq
— The Phat Startup (@ThePhatStartup) February 25, 2015
For more advice on how to grow your brand, check out “Who Run the (Social) World: How Millennial Women Can Grow Their Brand Through Social Media.”
Women are powering many of the hashtags and social conversations that hit your screens today. More adult women in the U.S. use Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr and Pinterest, according to data compiled through personal finance site FinancesOnline.com. And it’s no secret that when you break down the stats further, Black women over index on social. According to “The ESSENCE of Black Women Consumers” report, Black women are twice as likely to spend more than three hours on social networking sites in an average day than the general market.
So, how do we leverage our social capital? We’ve tapped power women from tonight’s Social Media Week panel, “Grow Your Brand,” for their insight. Check out several tips from Anie Akpe, CEO/publisher of Innov8tiv Magazine and co-founder of IBOM LLC; Ariel Lopez, career coach at General Assembly and co-founder of 2020Shift; Chana Ewing, president and founder of littlebigGirl + CO; and Janell Hazelwood, associate managing editor at Black Enterprise.
On their best advice on branding yourself across social media…
“Don’t try to be someone you are not, and be sure to tap into one or two core areas you can be an ‘expert’ on. These areas should align with your passions and what you’ve seen tangible success and results in doing.” — J.H.
“Be as unique as you can be. You can have the exact same product as your competition, the difference is how you promote and sell that product.” – A.A.
“Keep it professional, yet authentic.” It can be a tough balance to strike, however, it’s essential to gaining trust and leaving a solid first impression.” – A. L.
“People like to get to know real people. You have to decide 1. Where you can be open and honest 2. What’s the best channel (s) for your voice to thrive and 3. What are the 1-3 areas you can speak to with authority and then show up. Show up often and show out.” — C.E.
An example of a company, startup or individual that has mastered branding…
“For entrepreneurs in particular, an effective personal brand is synergistic with the business brand. Your personal brand should reflect the lifestyle elements of your business brand. Take Renae Bluitt of inhershoesblog.com. She’s built a blog and brand chronicling the lives of fly female entrepreneurs (many of whom work in beauty), while being a fly female entrepreneur in her own right via her PR company, Crush Media. That’s logical and brilliant. It’s important that your personal brand serve your business goals.”— C.E.
“At Black Enterprise, Twitter chats and social events have been awesome in terms of engaging with an audience and boosting visibility and sharing of content. Strategically using hashtags and incorporating feature stories, along with strategic marketing is key. You can reach millions within an hour, for example, simply by connecting relevant people to relevant topics, infusing content throughout the chats or events, and having conversations on trending topics as they relate to the brand’s purpose.” — J.H.
“I love how Ello entered the market. With a black dot and a smile, Ello peeked our curiosity on its product. In addition, Ello is by invite only; thousands of people (including myself) requested an invite just so we could see what all the fuss was about. Ello (still in BETA) recently raised over $4 million dollars and has approximately 1 million users. That’s what I call excellent branding by a startup company.”— A.A.
“The first company that comes to mind is Apple. They are bigger than the products that they’ve created. They’ve influenced the lifestyle of masses. Apple has become a household name, not only because of the quality of their products but the resonation they have with consumers.”— A.L.
What’s next in the world of branding and social media…
“For companies, social will become more about what they can creatively present visually versus using text. For example, Pew Research Center findings show that more African Americans prefer Instagram over other platforms, and among white consumers, Pinterest is more popular. Facebook is still king among all platforms, but we all know that even there, one photo is worth more than a thousand words and videos often go viral within minutes. Marketers are finding ways to leverage these statistics to change the way in which they strategize their audience development and branding initiatives.” – J.H.
“More startup companies will start thinking of introducing their product in a non-traditional way. Instead of your standard press releases and publicity, more startups are starting to create a buzz for their product by using alternative means such as social media marking and event introductions.” — A.A.
“I’m curious to see how larger businesses will connect personal branding to talent development, regardless of role/seniority. For instance, how can we use social media to reward employees vs. policing behavior? If an employee is influential in a certain domain online, how does that translate to her current work?” — C.E.
“You’ll continue to see an influx of branding/social media efforts from companies and individuals as well. Trend wise, video/images…do the best online, so we’ll se an increase of those methods.” —A.L.
To receive additional tips on branding your business on social media, attend “Grow Your Brand” presented by Innov8tiv, Ibom LLC, MadameNoire and Social Media Week NY. Click here to RSVP for the event.
People need to remember the importance of staying professional both in and out of the office. Sure your free time is your free time, but that doesn’t mean you act a fool without thinking others will notice. In a world with so much access to technology and information, privacy has become nearly non-existent. Here are some social media blunders you need to avoid.
Millions March NYC’s Synead Nichols & Umaara Elliott On #BlackLivesMatter, The Presence Of Black Women, & Social Media
A little over three months after the fatal shooting of 18-year-old Michael Brown we learned of the grand jury’s decision not to indict the officer responsible, Darren Wilson.
The announcement came the week of Thanksgiving, a time to celebrate family and fellowship, instead, many of us could not help but think of the pain felt by those who would have a son, father, or daughter missing from their table. Adding to the pain, something else that’s missing is sense of justice for these families.
Time after time, the people responsible for cutting Black lives short continue to go free. On the day the decision about officer Wilson was revealed, a little over one thousand people gathered in Union Square to protest and to remind the world that #BlackLivesMatter.
Twenty-three-year-old Synead Nichols co-creator of Millions March NYC was among them. “My heart sank and I just started to cry. Here I was again putting my faith in a system that obviously continues to fail us. It was hard.”
Nichols marched with the group all the way to Times Square, shutting down several streets along the way. Still, Nichols had a strong feeling that she needed to do something more.
“We were really hoping that this would pan out but it didn’t. I thought about doing shows, a web series, short plays, an art exhibit, installation pieces, everything I could possibly think of to get the message out,” she passionately explained to MadameNoire as she reflected on the moment in her Harlem apartment.
“When I got home all of sudden I was sitting by the computer and I was like you know what I am going to do something. Let’s make a Facebook event. If people can [take action in] Arab Springs all the way out in Egypt why can’t we do that here? So I made the page and I texted Umaara,” she continued.
Umaara Elliott is the 19-year-old co-organizer of Millions March NYC. Funny enough, the two ladies say their friendship began virtually on Facebook and became a real friendship through their art; Elliott is a dancer, while Nichols has a background in dance and also sings. Together, these young women organized one of the largest protests the #BlackLivesMatter movement has seen to date.
After creating the Facebook event page, the news about the march took on a life of its own. After the girls invited everyone they knew to the page, they noticed that celebrities and high profile groups began sharing it and soon the RSVPs went viral. On December 13, 2014 it’s estimated that somewhere between 50,000 and 60,000 protesters took to the streets. The families of Ramarley Graham, Kimani Gray and Jordan Davis were among those present at the march.
“The power of social media, the power of people’s emotions. People were tired, people were sad. People were hurt because this could be Umaara’s little brother, this could be my little brother, this could be me, this could be Umaara,” Nichols explained when explaining to us why she believes so many people came out to march that day.
Many of our great leaders often say that leadership is an action not a position. Martin Luther King Jr. once said:
“Everybody can be great…because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.”
Nichols and Elliott are two young artists from New York City. They never organized a protest before. Yet, using the tools provided by social media and the power of their desire to see things change for the better, they took action.
But they haven’t stopped there. Just last week there was a half-day session of workshops called The Gathering for those wanting to get more involved in the #BlackLivesMatter movement. And there’s more.
MadameNoire: What’s been the response to people learning about your story?
Synead Nichols: [People] didn’t know it was us who did it at first. They thought it was another organization. They couldn’t believe two young girls, two young black girls at that, initiated this whole thing.
MN: What do you feel is the significance of you two ladies being at the forefront of organizing something like this?
Umaara Elliott: I think it’s super important to put a face to something and that we are pretty young and that we weren’t seasoned activists or organizers. We are two regular girls who work with children and work in the arts and we had been avid protestors for months and we wanted to organize something and it just happened to be massive. I think its super important because it inspires people. Someone tagged their daughter or friend and she was like “you can do it too.” Anybody can do it. You don’t have to have a degree to be an activist, to be an organizer. You don’t have to have a degree to organize a protest, or a march.
SN: If you feel compelled then why not? Just because we were dancers or artists or performers, that didn’t stop us from protesting. We were still out there, we were still getting manhandled by cops. I still got bruised up. Everyone’s out there and again being a seasoned activist doesn’t mean anything. You have an experience.
UE: The thing is about the movement or any movement, you want to bring in as many people, its not an exclusive club it shouldn’t be an exclusive — “Oh you’re not apart of this organization.” We are all trying to reach the same thing so it doesn’t matter we are just doing it different ways.
MN: Did any of you have negative interactions with the police during the Millions March in December?
SN: No, and we are extremely happy for that. We wanted to show people we are here, we exist. There were so many different kinds of people there and they were all supporting Black lives. That was the most important part. You had your few people that were like, “All lives matter.” We know all lives mater. But understand it’s the Black lives that aren’t being counted… Being very adamant about that fact was very empowering.
MN: What was your original goal? How has your goal evolved or become strengthened since then?
SN: When it first popped into my head I wanted to be heard. I wanted people to be heard. They’re screaming and crying and yelling that they’re killing our community and no one hears it. Then it was getting those feelings into actual and specific actions. Getting a bill passed. Getting some law amended. Along with an overhaul of society and a system.
MN: During the march, after all the anticipation and planning, what did it feel like actually being there?
UE: I was excited. With a lot of these protests, “we” [people of color] were outnumbered. So at Millions March, I was happy because we had so many Black people on the front lines, aside from just the families. I was so grateful to see so many young Black people and not like young white kids who go to NYU.
MN: What do you think stood out about this one march that motivated so many people to come out?
UE: With a lot of protests, like after we hard the verdicts, they were spontaneous and a lot of people weren’t able to be part of it. So the Millions March, we announced it a little over two weeks before the date.
SN: Literally about two and a half weeks. It felt like everything was riding on this. I didn’t realize how much was riding on this until the night before.
MN: You mentioned that awareness of issues like police profiling was one of your goals. After awareness, what is next?
SN: After awareness, conversation, continuous implementation of this knowledge. You know now so what are you going to do with it? Talk to someone educate someone, go to panels, go to conferences, speak, write. You have to be proactive. Nothing ever comes to you, you have to go out for it.
MN: How is social media playing a role in this “new civil rights movement”?
UE: Well we were just talking about how the actual media is not covering anything. We didn’t know about the NAACP bombing until Twitter.
SN: People didn’t even know about Millions. My friend said she came to the protest and when she got home said there was no news coverage whatsoever. The thing about social media that I can appreciate is that it’s starting to [catch] people in their lies. [For example, what happened with] Antonio Martin, people were on the scene in seconds, phones out.
UE: I woke up and went on Twitter to find out Antonio Martin was shot. The media didn’t cover it until noon or hours later but they had changed the story so much. I’m seeing what the protesters were actually out there saying so to see what these newscasters were saying I was like, “No, you’re wrong.”
SN: I really love citizen journalism… because it allows you to get a wider picture. You see everything.
MN: There’s also a lot of discussion around “social media activists” and whether or not sending a tweet is actually effective. Too often, people are feeling accomplished by just sending a tweet rather than taking action in the real world.
UE: My only issue is people who are only online. Well, you could be online and have a blog about the movement. That’s great, that’s different. But I’m talking about people who just retweet stuff on Twitter. They don’t join Twitter town halls or chats. They’re just critical of the movement… like why are you guys only marching, why are you only doing this… not realizing that this is a multi-faceted movement. People aren’t just marching. People are in meetings. If you actually went to these things you would know.
MadameNoire: Did you see the movie Selma? Did you take any lessons from it?
UE: I thought it was so important to see WHY they were marching. It’s not just about marching and going out in the streets. It’s very strategic and very organized. I thought it was important to see the role that allies play in this. The only reason Martin Luther King had the allies is because he knew that if the media sees White people out there protesting with these Black people and they’re getting beaten up then the media becomes sensitive.
MN: What would you say to people who have not protested before but maybe want to?
UE: Go out there and remember what you’re fighting for. Are you going to wait on someone else to do it? You can do it!
MN: What would you say to women who maybe feel they are overlooked or ignored by the movement?
SN: You are not overlooked, we see you. We know you exist. We are fighting for you.
Every time I attend some type of after work event, I’m reminded why I’m so comfortable in my introversion. Though I like to think of myself as a fly on the wall at these events, I know I probably come across as the weird girl who didn’t break eye contact when you saw her blatantly staring at you, listening intently to your conversation.
I found myself playing this role at a mixer last week. It was one of those events that promised to bring out an equal number of men and women. And after about two hours, that was true. But before then, there was literally a sea of women. It was clearly an event for women to meet men; and in the best case scenario, form relationships. I always hesitate to go to these type of events because the thirst level is usually on swole at such events and honestly, I think when the pressure to find someone is that high, the results are usually disappointing.
So I went with the intent to observe.
And while I thought I’d get an eyeful of desperate women, instead I was most interested in one particular man in the room. I won’t call any names, but this particular man has a pretty large following on Instagram. Women follow him because he promotes… himself and they regard him as some type of sex symbol. And he always has a clever way to share an observation or offer a word of encouragement. The women who I know who’ve followed (and some who’ve later unfollowed) him have either dubbed him sexy, smart and funny or obnoxious and self absorbed.
So of course, spotting him in the crowd, I was excited to see what he was like in person. In real life, this Instagram celeb was…on Instagram. The backlight on his phone illuminated his face for several minutes throughout the night, until a woman was brave enough to approach him.
Later, this man wrote an Instagram post about the event being popping even though the women in the room were salty when they saw him talking to one of them.
I’m pretty good at picking up a vibe; but my eyes can’t be everywhere at all times, so there was a chance that I could have missed something. But I didn’t see anything like this.
Even still, watching the people in the room I saw just how much social mixers, in a lot of ways, resemble middle school dances. There are a few brave girls dancing in the middle of the floor, maybe a flirtatious conversation being had in the wings. But for the most part, boys are on one side and girls are on the other. The men are joking with their guy friends and the women are dancing with their girls.
I guess it really shouldn’t come as a surprise that someone who is popular on the internet, doesn’t come across as super charismatic in the physical. The irony of it all is that social media has become a place for socially awkward people to thrive. As someone who identifies with this group, I can’t exactly be mad at that. My people deserve shine too.
Have you ever met someone who was digitally famous, only to discover you liked them better when you were looking at them through a screen?