All Articles Tagged "social media"

You’re Not Bugging, Your Facebook Feed Really Is Making You Sick To Your Stomach

November 17th, 2015 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
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You're Not Hallucinating, Your Facebook Feed Really Is Making You Sick To Your Stomach


How often have you blamed your Facebook friends for figuratively making you sick to your stomach with their narcissism and oversharing? According to the New York Times, your Facebook feed could be making you literally ill as well.

The condition is called cybersickness or digital motion sickness, and medical experts insist that it’s become increasingly common.

“It’s a fundamental problem that’s kind of been swept under the carpet in the tech industry,” explained Cyriel Diels, a cognitive psychologist and human factors researcher at Coventry University’s Center for Mobility and Transport in England. “It’s a natural response to an unnatural environment.”

The condition causes symptoms similar to those caused by seasickness and is triggered when a person watches fast-moving digital content, for example, quickly swiping through your Instagram or Twitter newsfeed.

“Your sense of balance is different than other senses in that it has lots of inputs,” said Steven Rauch, a professor of otolaryngology at Harvard Medical School. “When those inputs don’t agree, that’s when you feel dizziness and nausea.”

Studies suggest that cybersickness can affect 50 to 80 percent of people, and is more prevalent among women and those with “Type A” personalities.

With the exception of causing some mild discomfort, one would think that cybersickness is fairly harmless; however, experts fear that it can have some pretty serious consequences. One concern is that a person may get behind the wheel while suffering from visual impairments after playing hours of video games. Another concern is that scrolling recklessly through a social media newsfeed may alter a person’s equilibrium causing them to trip or fall.

What Happens When Millennials On Social Media Start To Divorce?

November 16th, 2015 - By Chad Milner
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I’m on the cusp or turning 30, and over the course of the last five years, slowly but surely my friends, colleagues, co-workers, former classmates, exes, extended family, and almost everyone else are getting married. That sounds about right. The current average age for people in the U.S. to wed is 27 for women and 29 years of age for men.

If the above is true, we millennials–a group I reluctantly say that I am a part of–are bucking at the status quo and doing things our own way. Back in 1990 the average age to marry was around 24, and depending on the decade you parents tied the knot, the couples averaged around the age 22. There have been countless articles, posts, and think pieces dedicated to how and why millennials are (or aren’t) marrying sooner than our parents and older siblings. But that’s not what this is about.

The reason that I know almost everyone is getting married is because of social media. Gone are the days in which we find out about nuptials either via physical attendance, hearsay, or reunions; we are the first generation of publicly sharing our lives with the world. Weddings are supposed to be one of the most important and special days of our lives. Two become one as they pledge their love and allegiance to each other for life. It’s a beautiful thing and the pictures look amazing (is it just me or was Labor Day Weekend the official weekend to get married this year?).

Weddings are wonderful, but marriage is beyond difficult. It’s no secret that millennials, for the most part, pride themselves on being individuals and that is the antithesis of what you slipped rings and exchanged vows for. People start families, two becomes one and then becomes three and four when we procreate, and then real life happens. Statistics suggest that around 50 percent of marriages fail, so the law of averages connote that half of these beautiful weddings and #relationshipgoals that I see on all of my timelines are going to end. I can’t even say that I am being cynical, but numbers say this is realistic and inevitable.

So what happens when the ending of these unions start to take up a considerable space on my timeline?

I joke with my friends about not dating single mothers until my mid-thirties when the first wave of divorces happens. The average age of divorce is around 31, so this anticipated phenomenon of drama/comedy should be hitting Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter any day now. Actually, my friends are already getting divorced. I can think of a handful of my closest friends who are legally separated, in the process of, or have marriages in dissolution. I guess technically I am one of those people, too because of the passing of my partner.

If people are posting inspirational quotes from relationship gurus and posts loaded with subliminal shots over people breaking up with boyfriends and girlfriend, the level of petty that’s about to happen will be epic.

What will happen next? Because we posted our weddings, honeymoons, and aggrandized our lives as happy as if no one ever has a bad day, we will know who those Rob Hill Sr. quotes are about.

There is nothing wrong with celebrating one’s big day. Social media, for better or worse, has linked us together with people and we can somewhat honestly answer that question—or at least see what they look like. Many owe their happy love lives to social media. And for those who have posted their nuptials may not know how they are going to handle that love being lost.

What we do know is that social media is the norm. So be careful because potential spouse no. 2 could see the ugly divorce, and that could scare them away from the two of you sharing your wedding day.

Have you seen millennials on social media going through divorce?

Get Creative With Memorex Lives! Video Contest: Win A Tablet

November 10th, 2015 - By Kweli Wright
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Law Professor Accidentally Sends Porn Link To Students


It’s time to unleash inner creativity. Instead of playing dress-up for the holidays, Memorex in partnership with the creators of SHARKNADO invite consumers to “make-a-scene” with actor Joey Lawrence for a once-in-a-lifetime chance to break into Hollywood.

One lucky Grand Prize winner will win a walk-on role in a 2016 production by The Asylum – the creators of SHARKNADO and Z Nation – plus a 55” 4K UHDTV, an invitation to audition for a speaking role and schedule a screenwriter pitch meeting with The Asylum producers.

There’s two ways to win with Memorex Lives!

To win with Mommynoire:

  1. Follow Mommynoire on Instagram and Twitter.
  2. Find the post tagged #MemorexMommynoire and comment why you deserve a tablet from Memorex. That’s it! Open to U.S. residents only.
  3. Winner of the tablet will be announced Friday, November 13.


The “Memorex Lives!” video contest is simple:

1.    Visit and review the video clips featuring actor/singer/producer Joey Lawrence, who plays the role of superhero action star Brock Firestone, leader of “The Resistance” against The Evil Empire.

2.   Film your own hilarious or haunting clips on your iPhone, webcam or Red camera and upload them into the film editor.

3.   Enter now through December 10, 2015 and share with your friends! 10 finalists will be chosen to compete against each other by popular vote starting December 17, 2015. Open to U.S. residents only.

The top three videos will win a prize.

home_splash_joey lawrence memorex

Grand Prize*

*  Walk on role in a production produced by The Asylum

*  An invitation to audition for a speaking role in a production produced by
The Asylum

*  Schedule a script pitch meeting with producers at The Asylum

*  Memorex CrystalVision Ultra 55″ 4K UHDTV w/ sound bar and subwoofer

Second Place Prize

*  42″ Memorex CrystalVision HDTV w/ sound bar and subwoofer

Third Place Prize

*  32″ MemorexCrystalVision HDTV

Grand Prize Winner will be provided Transportation and accommodations for two people to Los Angeles, CA for two nights to receive their walk on role and pitch session. Airfare and rental car will be provided for those living in the 50 States and cannot be exchanged for its cash value.

For complete contest rules and to learn more about the “Memorex Lives!” video contest, visit


What Is Instagram? Everything Parents Need To Know

November 6th, 2015 - By MommyNoire Editor
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by Jessa Barron

Facebook is still one of the most popular social media platforms around, but as more and more adults are joining it, teens are opting for newer channels to share selfies and photos with friends. One of those channels is the Facebook-owned Instagram, which is a popular photo and video-sharing app available on most smartphones and tablets. With more than 50 percent of American teens using Instagram, it’s an app that parents should not only understand, but also make sure their teens are using safely. To help parents get a better grasp on how Instagram works, we’ve highlighted everything you need to know about the app.

What is Instagram?

Instagram launched a little over five years ago and currently has over 400 million users worldwide, according to the company. It started as a photo-sharing app, but has since grown to include videos and a private messaging feature as well. Here’s how it works: users upload photos or videos from their smartphones and publish it on their profile for anyone who “follows” them to see. If a user doesn’t opt to make their profile private, anyone who has an account with app can see what they’re sharing on the platform by searching for their username or a hashtag they attached to a photo.

Unlike Snapchat, the app is available on more than iOS and Android devices. It can also be used on Windows phones, and there is a limited web version available, which doesn’t allow users to post anything, but they can still log in and see what their followers are posting. This also means that anyone with an Instagram account can see what your child is posting (if their account is public). It should be noted that public accounts can also be found using a search engine — meaning if someone searches for your child’s name and “Instagram,” they can find the account.

Is there any reason to be concerned with my kids using Instagram?

As previously mentioned, public Instagram accounts can essentially be viewed by anyone with an Internet-enabled device; you don’t need an Instagram account to see what others are posting. This might cause some concern for parents, especially those with younger children who aren’t fully aware of how public their Instagram photos and videos are.

Additionally, the apps messaging feature could also be of concern to parents. Much like Twitter’s direct messaging options, when Instagram first unrolled this feature, it only allowed users to send and receive messages from mutual followers — both you and the user had to follow each other in order to send or receive messages. Now, however, anyone can send a direct message to any user — regardless of if they are following them back or not. As such, parents have no control over who is trying to contact their child.

Another aspect that parents should take note of is Instagram’s terms of use, which states that “you hereby grant to Instagram a non-exclusive, fully paid and royalty-free, transferable, sub-licensable, worldwide license to use the Content that you post on or through the Service … including but not limited to sections 3 (“Sharing of Your Information”), 4 (“How We Store Your Information”), and 5 (“Your Choices About Your Information”).” This essentially means Instagram has the legal right to use or share anything you post on the app. By simply downloading the app and creating an account, you will be required to agree to these terms of use, which you can read in full here.

How can I make sure my kids are being safe on Instagram?

Because Instagram does offer users the option to make profiles private, you should make sure that your child has this feature enabled. While there is no way to keep anything online completely private these days, this can be a helpful safeguard to keep your child’s profile away from unwanted eyes. To do this, log into your child’s profile using their smartphone and click on the three vertical dots on the top right corner — this will bring you to the Options page. From there, you click on the toggle button next to Private Account (as shown in the photo below), select OK and you’re all set.

Instagram safety


In addition, you should also speak with your children about the importance of keeping their photos and videos just between their friends and people they know in real life. Let them know that they can come talk to you should a stranger try to contact or follow them using any social media platform (not only Instagram). Keeping an open line of communication when it comes to social media is a great way to let your child know you’re there to help them in these situations.

Looking for an extra level of monitoring? A parental control software may be a big help, especially Net Nanny’s software. Its standard parental control license only monitors Facebook, however its add-on, Net Nanny Social, monitors your child’s friends list/followers, pictures and posts on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Tumblr, Google+ and LinkedIn. With Net Nanny Social, parents can keep track of activity on all these platforms at all times — even when their child is away at school — as it also monitors these networks on a variety of Internet access points, including 3G, 4G, Wi-Fi, home network and hot spot connections. Read our Net Nanny review to learn more about the top-rated software.

Also, follow our parental controls blog to get more tips on how you can protect your children from cyberbullying and other online threats.

Reprinted with permission from Next Advisor.

Family Matters: When Social Media Makes Brings Out The Worst, And The Troll, In Your Relatives

November 3rd, 2015 - By Victoria Uwumarogie
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Social media can bring out a lot of things in a lot of people.

Like a provocative/scandalous side. Hence the reason some young women post half-naked pictures on sites like Instagram and Facebook, all looking for validation from men they’ll never meet.

It can also bring out one’s often hidden political ties. Like the people who you know from your neighborhood but never realized they hated President Obama and Democrats in general. Awkward.

And then there’s that volatile emotional side with a hint of TMI that you forgot about. Like the high school classmate who lets everyone know that her son’s father is a deadbeat on Father’s Day.

And who could forget the troll side? Like the Black guy from college who says, “Why do we care so much when police kill us, but not when we kill one another?” Aaaaaaand block.

And in some cases, social media can just bring out the absolute worst in people. Like your family. While they show one side of themselves in your face at family gatherings, some do the absolute most on social media because they either want attention, or because you never actually realized how big of an asshole they really are. Their behavior is almost block-worthy.

Like the family member who feels the need to debate you on damn near everything you say.

A few years ago, I said that I wasn’t really a fan of Tyler Perry’s For Colored Girls. Not because I have some sort of vendetta against Perry, but because I felt that the stories of some characters were poorly developed compared to others. Around that time, every person I knew thought For Colored Girls would get nominated for an Academy Award and become a modern-day classic (it didn’t). And being the odd voice out, I was immediately side-eyed and called out–by my cousin nonetheless.

“Wow. How do you not like the movie? Those were real women with real stories. Just be glad that you’ve never had to go through anything cuz.”

But, of course, my lack of appreciation for one film about a group of Black women facing personal crises had to be a testament to the fact that I’d never gone through anything and only disliked the film because I couldn’t relate. Thanks a lot, “cuz.”

That same cousin has since made it their mission to get on my very last nerve each and every time I post a status on social media. So I refrain from doing so these days to keep the peace.

What about the family member who throws you under the bus to gain sympathy from fake “friends”?

You know who I’m talking about. The plan is simple enough: Paint the rest of your family members as ungrateful, trifling, conniving, unsupportive, hurtful and narcissistic individuals, play victim, and in turn, get people to tell you how awesome of a person you are and how sucky said family members are in comparison.

Like my friend’s cousin who took to social media to call out “so-called family” she felt weren’t doing enough to support her mother, who is battling Alzheimers. The cousin, who looks after her ailing mother during the evenings and barely likes to, said that if it weren’t for her husband and son, she wouldn’t be able to hold on to her sanity and take care of her mom. They have been her anchor because the rest of her family, including my friend, had allegedly up and left her to do everything for her mother on her own.

“All that my mom has done for all these so-called family members and they haven’t called, nobody checks on her. I do this on my own.”

And as my friend read her cousin’s status in disgust, she was even more appalled to see complete strangers attacking her and the rest of the family based on a status.

“Forget them,” one man said. “You can do this. Your mother is blessed to have someone so supportive on her side.”

“You don’t need them,” another said.

“Let me know if you need anything, I’ll be praying for you, girl,” another colleague chimed in.

Instead of telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, my friend’s cousin soaked up the praises and tainted her family’s name for likes: “Thanks so much for the support. I really needed it!”

And how about the family member who posts all kinds of strange things? You know the ones. When you try to tell them that they’re doing too much, they post froggy viral threats?

You’ve read the statuses. They usually read, and look, something like this: I WISH some body would TELL ME what I can and cannot put on my Facebook page!!! If you don’t like it DELETE ME!!!!! Your lost! Cause I’m grown!”

They’re the same family members who send subliminal shots calling folks everything but a child of God, only to turn around and post Bible passages one minute and WorldStar videos the next. Who can keep up?

Yes, social media brings out a whole different side of people, including family, that you would prefer not to be bothered with. While your cousin or your uncle may seem sweet and tame at the family reunion and Christmas gathering, they might be nothing but a troll on these Internet streets, looking to debate, overshare and write angry messages in all caps on Facebook (because you know there’s no word count on Facebook).

But pat yourself on the back. Despite their shenanigans, you’ve managed not to unfriend them or tell them how you really feel. You didn’t block them. And you didn’t completely abandon your social media pages in order to avoid them. Probably because at the end of the day, it’s just the Internet. And until there’s a button to easily block people in real life, you’re just going to have to play nice and try not take it all too personal.

Or start denying and ignoring family friend requests…


How Do you Turn Social Media Into a Career? “She’s The Boss” Season 2 Episode 1 – Karen Civil, Founder & CEO of Always Civil Enterprises

October 5th, 2015 - By jade
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Meet Karen Civil, Social Media Maven, and Founder of Always Civil Enterprise. After crafting social media campaigns for artists and brands, including Lil' Wayne and Beats by Dre, this entertainment powerhouse leveraged her connections and name to create a strong lifestyle brand that is slowly becoming a household name. Find out why She's The Boss.

Do you have any questions for Karen? Let us know in the comment section below. We will be doing a live Twitterchat with Karen on 10/6 @ 1pm PST/4pm EST.

More information on Karen Civil.

Always Civil Enterprise

Want more She's The Boss?

Angela Benton, Founder & CEO of NewME Accelerator

AJ Johnson, Celebrity Fitness Trainer & Founder of the AJ Zone

Season 2 Promo 

Season 1 Episodes 


Stop Dousing Your Kids In Ratchet Juice

October 2nd, 2015 - By Chuck Creekmur
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I question my sanity almost every day. I  also question the sanity of the rest of the world…every. single. day. Why? Because I am constantly bombarded by imagery that I cannot fathom for the life of me. My friend sent me this video of an infant girl listening and mimicking Young Thug. I didn’t even need to see it to know that I was going to ruin an otherwise great day!

So, I waited until 11:30 pm to look at the video, 13 hours after he sent it over. It was as ratchet as advertised. He said, “Cute but parents are teaching children to be ratchet for a laugh. And that’s a shame.”

Honestly, I don’t even think it’s that cute. Check it out.

We do it to ourselves, people.

I love the #BlackLivesMatter movement, but we are going to have to come from a more honest, inward place as if that is to truly became reality. Perhaps, I came here on a spaceship. Perhaps, I’m buggin’ out. Last time I checked, kids were supposed to be protected from adult content. This allows them to remain kids until they are old enough to process, right? Wrong.

I did a little social media analysis on the video and conclude that I indeed may be from another planet. The video had over 54,000 views with 1,102 likes at the time of this writing. Only 18 people gave it a “thumbs” down on YouTube. And then when you look at the comments you get things like, “Awwww I saw this on my moms Facebook …. Lol.” That’s a real comment from a female. Most of the comments included the word “cute,” but there were some that considered it a representation of America’s doomed future.

Another “viral video” going around is too disturbing to comment on. People really think this is funny. (Warning: language)

(CURRENT MOOD).. "I'm Muthafuckin Tied" (Not Tired) #Plies #AintNoMixtapeBih

A video posted by @plies on

So, is the girl automatically going to be ______ by age 10? Not necessarily, but I don’t get a great feeling from the video when your supposed mother is guffawing in the drivers seat. Shoot, Young Thug’s own daughter was the subject of much controversy when she was cursing like a sailor on Instagram by the child’s mother. Sheesh.

What does it say about young mothers and fathers that they are proud to display their children doused in ignorance? I don’t know the answer. I’m from other universe, remember?

I suppose all is not lost.

This other little kid was posted by one Kimberly Harris and I realized the future is as bright as it dark. It all depends on what side your life happens to fall.

Oh, Serena eventually gave them tickets to the U.S. Open, to the family’s delight. That’s a blessing.

Fellas, Do You Really Deserve Breakfast?

October 1st, 2015 - By Veronica Wells
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Deserve Breakfast

Source: Instagram

There’s this new meme floating around social media of a woman, in a thin fuchsia robe standing in front of a bountiful, breakfast spread.

As always, it’s not usually the picture that’s off with these memes, it’s the caption.

And this one asks whether or not women even do this anymore.

I don’t know if y’all have noticed but a lot of these memes seem to put a hell of a lot of blame on women–Black women particularly.

And I know that while you might think it’s ridiculous to get upset over a meme, I’m just tired of the most hurtful shots, the deepest wounds coming from Black men. And as much as people want to claim that it’s all jokes, just humor we know that jokes are only funny if they’re rooted in some sense of truth.

According to these memes I see, the truth is Black men keep dispensing this notion that there are no more good, Black women around. And that’s just not true.

I had several reactions to this meme when I first saw it.

– Here we go again!

– Of course there are still women who cook.

– Even the most unskilled chef can scramble an egg and fry some meat.

– If your only requirements for a woman be that she know how to cook and be in a “come get it” robe all the time, you’ll be deeply unfulfilled.

Then a friend from college posted the same meme, a woman this time and she asked the same question I had. Why do men always blame women for their poor decision making? If you choose to date a girl who can’t cook breakfast then whose fault is that? Far too often, men pick women who meet very few of their so-called standards–beyond attractiveness–and then they’re shocked and appalled when she doesn’t get down like you’d want wifey to. Don’t blame her. That’s your fault!

But today, as I was eating lunch with my coworkers, I thought of yet another issue with this damn meme.

Men are so quick to list their requirements, their must haves but are often very slow to explain what they’ll be able to offer you. And hell, when they do list those things, much of it is thinly masked patriarchy, i.e. control. I appreciate that you’ll support and provide for me financially. I’ll take that–along with what I bring to the table– but will you support and encourage me to be a better person? Will you not only be concerned about my emotional well being but strive not to intentionally hurt my feelings or at least apologize sincerely when you do so?

Until a man can prove he can do and be these things, women shouldn’t be scrambling any eggs, toasting any bread or frying any meat. Until women have seen those things, why should she be in the kitchen on wifey mode, cooking food for you?

And that’s the thing. Perhaps men are having a hard time finding women who cook because they haven’t proven that they really deserve it.

So yeah, it’s cereal for you bruh.

What I really want to know is, why aren’t men discussing what they can bring to the table? Where are those memes? Perhaps memes holding men accountable for their decisions or asking them to step up take too much thought and effort. Maybe they aren’t as funny as attempting to shame women again.

6 Easy Ways To Save Money While Using Social Media

September 10th, 2015 - By Lynn Cooper
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We all use social media to connect with family and friends, keep up with current events, and even promote our own businesses. But did you know you could save a few bucks via social media? You just have to know where to look.

With a little time and research you can find bargain deals, coupons, freebies. Here are six easy ways to leverage social media to save money on almost anything!

Follow Brands You Love

By following the brands you adore on social media you can get real time information about upcoming sales, coupons or giveaways that may or may not be listed

Follow Daily Deals Sites

Daily deals sites offer some incredible ‘limited time only’ discounts on select items and experiences.  Connect with daily deal sites such as Woot, Groupon, and  Living Social on Twitter and Facebook or via their apps. rather than signing up for email which can clutter your inbox. There are also apps on iOS and Android like Beep’nGo and Retail Me Not which notify you of deals in your proximity.

Use Hashtags

Hashtags are not just for #ThrowbackThursday or #WashWednesday, they can also be use to find deals and coupons. Although, Twitter and Instagram are the best platform to search for savings by hashtag, you may find success on Facebook as well. Use the search button and insert keywords like, #Coupon #Deals #Sale #Clearance and you will yield hundreds of items to choose from. To narrow down your search for a specific item such as boots, you would type in #Boots #Sale into the search box. Additionally using seasonal hashtags like #LaborDay #ColumbusDay #BlackFriday #CyberMonday will retrieve posts from retailers who are having sales during the holidays.

Find Freebies

Just like daily deal sites, there are plenty of freebie sites with an active social media presence. To get started, check out these four @GimmieFreebies @Freebies4Mom @heyitsfree @icravefreebies to see what great freebies you can receive.

Connect with Community Managers

A majority of major brands have community managers whose job it is to ensure that their customers on social media are happy.  Use these digital customer service agents to your advantage by starting a conversation with them on Facebook or Twitter about your pleasure or displeasure about a product or service. Don’t forget to ask them about current or future promotions or sales.

Let Others Do the Work for You

If you are short on time, seek out social profiles that curate and aggregate deals.

Follow Twitter accounts such as @RetailMeNot, @Coupons, @KrazyCouponLady and @MoneySavingMom. You can check into these feeds daily to learn about coupons, freebies, and samples you can redeem online or in-store.

Lastly, while you can save money while using social media, it can also leave you vulnerable to identity theft and fraud. Before you buy or sign up for programs, do your research on the service provider or retailer. Check their reviews on websites like Yelp, Angie’s List  and the Better Business Bureau.

If you see negative ratings or no data on the company be wary of purchasing from them.  Keep in mind, when using social platforms, make sure your privacy settings assure that you control who sees your personal information. Also check the settings on your tablet and smartphones to ensure your physical location is only revealed when you want it to be.

What Happens When A Man Proposes On The Shade Room?

September 10th, 2015 - By Veronica Wells
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Man Proposes On The Shade Room

Source: Instagram

When most of us think about our proposals, we envision a man in our face, on bended knee. But we’re living in the digital age and it seems that almost everything is done so it can be seen by others. We love The Shade Room over here and this morning we were surprised to see the man who tried to propose…or rekindle his relationship with his lady love through the gossip site’s Instagram page.

Don’t believe me? Just watch.

#TSRProposals : So one of our #roommates reached out to us, hoping that we could aid him in helping his girl see that not only does he want her back, but he wants to make her his wife. His girl is a daily reader of TSR and he wanted to surprise her with this post. You know we LOVE, LOVE. So here is his story: _______________________________________I met my best friend 3yrs ago.. She was working at a hospital in Memphis TN as a nurse. Shortly after meeting her she started changed her career to become a traveling nurse.. and wanted me to be as supportive of her career as she was of mine. So I agreed to it. After a month or so I started to get Lonely. So I started flying out to Boise Idaho where she was working at least once every 2 months. Through it all I never cheated not once. Then once her Boise assignment was over she wanted to try Cali so I flew out and we drove to Cali.. She loves it in Cali and has been there almost a year.. For me to explain why I'm asking for her back I gotta explain how I lost her: Communication with long distance. So I moved to Cali with her for about 6months from the beginning of the year to now. Things were really going good until I couldn't find steady work and take care of her the way she deserved. So now I'm in a position where I'm getting stable and don't wanna lose the 1 that has my heart.. She's the world to me and I don't wanna lose her. I know true love only comes once and I refuse to let it slip away from me that easily! I'm just willing to fight for the one I love! The woman I met 3and a half yrs ago and still today is worth it! I just want to make her my wife!" #TSRBreakUps

A photo posted by The Shade Room (@theshaderoominc) on

It seems sweet enough. Sadly, this story doesn’t have a happy ending. If Bud had done this in the privacy of his own home, or at least off of Instagram no one would have known about it. Sadly, it’s all on the internets.

And so was her rejection.


Naturally, since their business is all aired out, people in the comment section are discussing the “proposal” and whether or not she should give this brother another chance. They referenced Michelle taking a chance on Barack when he was her intern, riding around with a hole in his car. They said that sometimes you have to build with a man.

There’s nothing wrong with building with a man but the operative word in that sentence is “with.” From the story, it’s clear that career is important to this woman. She was willing to travel all over in order to pursue her dreams. And while it’s lovely that Bud was willing to follow and support her, he didn’t have the financial stability to go along with it. And not only that, she waited three years for him to get it together. And he has yet to do so. If that’s not showing a desire to build with a man, I don’t know what is. Three years is a long time to be unstable. People love to reference Barack and Michelle when Barack had already graduated from an Ivy League university and was on his way to the top with the internship. He was already walking in his potential. So she had plenty of signs to know that he could be something great.

Furthermore, I never hear this talk of men building with women. Ladies, have you noticed that if a man doesn’t like something, that’s it? Men generally don’t compromise on their relationships preferences. But women are always expected to bend, even when we know we won’t be happy doing so. Time out for that.

Bottom line is, you have to know your partner. If financial stability is important to her, as it is with many people, then why are you offering a marriage proposal when you haven’t met her requirements?

From her words and even that last hashtag it seems that she’s still holding out hope for their relationship. I am too. They would have an amazing story to tell if it did work out. But if Joe Budden and Tahiry taught us anything, it’s that a marriage proposal is not enough when you haven’t addressed the core issues in your relationship.

What do you think about this woman and Bud? Should she give their relationship a chance or does Bud need to show and prove?