All Articles Tagged "social media"

The Girl Who Made Children’s Church A Living Hell Wants To Be My Instagram Friend

February 4th, 2016 - By Veronica Wells
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Girl Who Made Children's Church A Living Hell

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As told to Veronica Wells

Growing up, I hated going to my mom’s church. My parents were raised in two different denominations so sometimes we would go to my mom’s church and sometimes we would go to my dad’s. One of the main reasons I hated my mom’s church was because children’s church was required for children under a certain age.

It wasn’t the content of children’s church that I couldn’t stand, it was the people. Well…one person in particular.

Roxanne Roberts.

I’ve changed her name because I’m a Christian and she might stumble across this.

But every Sunday in children’s church she would consistently find new ways to torment me. I don’t know if she was adamant about rejecting me because an adult told her my family was more non-denominational than hers or just because I was the new girl and she was a career bully. Either way, at seven-years-old, it only took me a few weeks to learn that she had no intention of welcoming me with open arms.

It all started off small. She’d go out of her way to tell me that I couldn’t sit next to her. She always said it under her breath so the teacher couldn’t hear her. If we had any type of artistic activity that corresponded with the lesson, she’d always need the exact supply I was using and come over and snatch it out of my hand. I was new to that church, eager to make friends and already intimidated by her. So I didn’t tell anyone. And as is usually the case with bullies, once she saw that I was a pushover, things only got worse. She’d push me on our way up the stairs, trip me when I got up to use the restroom. Pass notes about my clothes, hair or general appearance to the other students in the class or just pretend like I didn’t exist at all. Sometimes the teacher would notice her behavior and discipline her accordingly; but most of the time, she went unchecked.

It got to the point where the thought of going to my mother’s church made me physically ill. My stomach would be in knots. And as our car, rounded the corner into our church parking lot, I was sweating and swallowing hard so I wouldn’t vomit.

Though I never told my parents, they were experiencing some adult bullying in the lower sanctuary, with the the rest of the congregation. By the time I was turning ten, we left that particular church entirely and I couldn’t have been more thrilled. Enough was enough.

My grandfather goes to my mother’s church, so we’d occasionally return for special events. I’d see her once or twice a year during middle and high school. But we both kept our distance, exchanging knowing, but unimpressed looks before ignoring each other.

So, fast forward to today. I’m four years out of college and guess who just found me on Instagram? You guessed it, good ole Roxanne!

Now, for those of you who know Instagram you realize you can stalk view anybody’s page as long as it’s public, which mine is. But if you don’t slip up and accidentally like something, there is no way of telling who looked at what. Well, Roxanne didn’t just look. She literally liked 15 of my photos before adding me as a friend.

When I saw my phone blowing up with notifications, I did a double take when I saw her name and profile picture. Did this girl forget how she made church, a place that was supposed to be sacred and loving, into a living hell? Even when she stopped messing with me, we were never on speaking terms; yet, here she was acting like we were long-lost friends fortuitously reunited through social media.

The fact that she was sending me a friend request, acting like none of that ever happened, literally blew my mind.

But I can’t lie, I was interested to see how she turned out over the past decade or so.

Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw. She looked…older. Not like she was much older than me, but like life hadn’t been all that kind to her. She looked worn and tired. She hadn’t gained much weight, but the few pounds she had put on, hung low like a kangaroo pouch. And judging from those tired memes that get shared, retweeted, regrammed and reposted by the unpleasantly single, she didn’t appear to be too pleased with the way her love life had turned out either.

I just shook my head.

For a while I contemplated blocking her…but then I figured why deny her the pleasure of seeing how wonderful my life turned out to be. I certainly won’t be following her back. But she’s more than welcome to look and like every last one of my photos.

Serious Question: Have You Ever Slid In Anyone’s DMs?

February 4th, 2016 - By Brande Victorian
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My team has become sort of obsessed with I Don’t Do Clubs’ Slide in their DMs promotion in which people send a photo along with their name, age, occupation, and location to the IG account to have the admin post the pic on their feed giving potential suitors permission to slide in their DMs and get it popping.

It’s a cute promo, but one that always leaves me asking, “Who would really send in their picture for this?” It’s a silly question because daily my timeline is filled with new selfies of men and women across the country with the hastag #IDDCslideintheirDMs and routine messages from the account admin stating “We’ve received hundreds of submissions. It will take us months to post all of them. Be patient.”

Consistently, my next question is always, “And who is actually sliding in these people’s DMs?”

“It happens” one of my coworkers said the last time I asked that question aloud.

*Goes to DMs and pulls up random old message from a stranger that read “Hey gorgeous.”*

She’s right. It does happen indeed.

But while I expect the ‘gram thirst from the male species (mostly because I still have randoms from college pop up in my Facebook messages whenever I change my profile picture), I’m always interested in the curious behavior of female DM sliders.

Last year in the midst of casting for “Ask a Black Man” I found myself sliding in a number of DMs seeking eye candy for the web series which we were planning to shoot in multiple locations, and comforting myself with the fact that I was doing so under the guise of work. But as for my personal life, never in a DM have I slid. What I don’t know is whether that makes me normal or out of touch with the times where social media has seemingly become fair ground for pursuing all sorts of interests — casual, professional, or romantic.

Still, I keep wondering: What do women say to these men? What kind of pics are they sending? And how do men perceive their approach on the medium? Thus far I’ve yet to meet a woman in person who can answer my questions. So, humor me a little and tell me what your Instagram game is about. Ladies, have you ever slid in a man’s DMs? If so, how’d you do it?

 

When Is The Right Time To Put Bae On Social Media?

February 2nd, 2016 - By Veronica Wells
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When Is The Right Time To Put Bae On Social Media?

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The other day I was scrolling through “Facebook Memories,” you know the app that curates your posts and statuses from today’s date in years past. It’s easily one of the best features on the site. Everything I was seeing made me smile and reminisce, until I stumbled across something that induced a cringe.

It was a status where I tagged or mentioned my former boo thang. I cringed mostly because I didn’t talk about our relationship publicly. Mostly because it was so loosely defined for us that I didn’t feel comfortable putting it out there for the people, knowing that there would be questions, comments and prying dips into our business. Plus, when you break up to make up and then break up again, it’s hard to keep a consistent posting schedule that wouldn’t indicate that there are problems in paradise. So, I was scared. The last thing I want in life is to look like a fool, on social media or in real life.

But on this day, years ago, after homeboy put in a bit of a request for a shoutout, I wrote a Facebook status including his name. It was years ago, but thanks to memories, it popped right back up, making me cringe.

I think it was with this failed relationship in mind that I was so hesitant to put my new, current, infinitely more stable one on social media. I didn’t want questions. I didn’t want to cringe if it didn’t work out. And I didn’t want to look like a fool. I had never readily admitted these things to myself. It was just a feeling, a sense that I had, that I may or may not have been able to articulate if asked.

Little did I know, my mother would be the one to do just that.

I texted her a picture of my boyfriend and I and she was so inspired that, without my permission, she posted it on her Facebook page. She was dead wrong. After I had my sister log into her account to delete it, I told her how wrong she was, that it wasn’t her place to do that. She wasn’t trying to hear me.

“Girl, get off my phone talking crazy.”

“Moooom,” I pleaded, “I haven’t even posted a picture of us yet.”

And then she asked me a very simple question that caused me to examine myself.

“Why haven’t you?”

That’s when I realized that while I absolutely didn’t want my mom to be posting my business, there was really no legitimate reason why I hadn’t. Different dude, different relationship. No reason to be hesitant.

But I can’t lie. A part of me remembered cousins and associates who had put entirely too much of their relationship business on social media early, only to find that the relationship fizzled. And what were once happy, optimistic, romantic, “my boo is better than your boo” statuses turned into embittered, single and salty, messy breakup posts.

I thought of Ciara posting her N for Nayvadius tattoo and calling him her king. And especially her interview with Brides magazine. And we all know how that turned out. It was embarrassing. We were embarrassed for her.

Then again, I’m sure Ciara felt sure about her relationship. Particularly after Future proposed to her…and got her pregnant, whichever came first.

So, much like relationships themselves, it’s a gamble either way. You do it…or don’t do it and hope for the best.

When you feel comfortable sharing your relationship on social media?

About Those #RelationshipGoals: Are You Too Fascinated With Other People’s Relationships?

January 28th, 2016 - By Erica R. Williams
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Close to two million. That’s the number of times the hashtag #relationshipgoals has been used on Instagram. Whenever a picture is posted of a good-looking couple displaying some level of affection, many women and men alike deem the couple’s way of doing things to be a personal goal. And while some of the social-media-hyped relationships certainly have a few attributes worth wanting to attain, is it wise to make them “goals”? Could your fascination with other people’s relationships be keeping you from actually having a healthy one of your own?

One important rule when interacting on social media is to understand that everything isn’t always what it seems. Most people only post their best stuff. The stuff that makes our lives look good. Many couples choose to do the same. As a result, someone sees their perceived coupledom bliss and create a meme. This meme is reposted by thousands of people, becoming the object of desire for many. We dream of that one man…like the one in that picture…who holds us while he’s watching football. We want to dress alike (as corny as it sounds to some) to declare our love, again, like the couples in the pictures. We want to be tossed in the air and caught by our robust spouse, just like in the pictures. These shenanigans, amongst others, create a false understanding of what constitutes a good relationship; and trust me, it isn’t his and hers Timberlands like the ride-or-die couples in the pics.

For instance, one of my good friends is quick to spew out “relationship goals” or repost someone’s picture, reminding herself of just how badly she wants a “picture perfect” man and a family of her own.

“I just want to be happy like this,” she once told me, referencing the pictures. And I’m sure she’s not in the generational minority. While no one wants to happily admit that they’ve created a distorted view of relationships in their head by getting high on an IG supply of relationship goals, it happens more times than not. If it’s not you, I’m sure you know someone who does.

Some people are so fascinated by other couple’s relationships both on and off social media that they soon neglect their own. In the case of some women, they miss out on a good man because he’s not buying them things like the couples seen on Instagram. When in actuality, no one knows just what is going on behind closed doors with any of the couples who have been pinned with the #relationshipgoals hashtag. A picture may be worth a thousand words, but it doesn’t tell the whole story. And if you knew the whole story, you might not be so quick to crown people Couple of the Year.

Instead of looking at other pairs (whom you know nothing about in real life), develop own relationship goals that are focused on the things that really matter to you. I get it. Social media can be addictive. And ultimately, what you spend the most time viewing can become a reality to you, even if it is BS in real life. So if you find yourself obsessing and ‘oohing and aahing’ over other people’s acts of love or memes created in their honor, take a social media break. And in real life, if you’re comparing your love life to the couple you see on the street or heard about through the grapevine, stop it. Their love story isn’t yours.

Zero Chill: Hilarious Brands And Companies Who’ve Got Jokes

January 25th, 2016 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: Tumblr

Image Source: Tumblr

BET has not stopped coming for Stacey Dash ever since she said that Black people didn’t need a Black channel or Black History Month. They went as far as to ask her for their check back since she appeared on The Game. But they’re not the only hilarious brands with zero chill.

Go 007 On Them: How To Spy On Your Kids

January 25th, 2016 - By MommyNoire Editor
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by Lynn Cooper

Growing up, these words: ‘I’ve Got Eyes In the Back of My Head’ would utter from my mother’s mouth instilling the illusion that she was always watching and it was in my best interest to be on my P’s & Q’s. However this was long before the days of the internet where our children have access to more than two billion people around the world at any given moment.

That’s why as parents, we have to not only prepare and protect our children in the real world, we must prepare them for life online–you need to go 007 and spy on your kids. Below are six easy methods for you to implement to safeguard you and your children

Get Techie
Children are sponges and they have the ability to gain mastery of technology so quickly it can make your head spin. Nonetheless It is every parent’s responsibility to know exactly which key features are included in the gadgets our children are using. So take a few minutes before purchasing that next gadget, visiting a social networking site or downloading an app to conduct a quick investigation to ensure you understand how it works and what your child(ren) will be exposed to.

Find Your Center
It’s much easier to keep tabs on any online activity when the devices are located or used in a high-traffic area versus your child is using in the privacy of their room or bathroom. Insist that laptops, mobile phones or tablets are used in central location like your family room so that everything is out in the open. It’s also a good idea to take mobile devices from them at night and store in your bedroom to ensure they are not using it overnight without your supervision.

Use Filtering Software
There are various software programs that you can buy to monitor your child’s online usage; many of these products enable you to view the words that were typed, how long they were online and what websites were visited. Popular programs such as Net Nanny allow you to monitor social media sites, block chats, filter content and more. You can even monitor your cell phone activity with My Mobile Watchdog.

Check Privacy Settings
Ensure that your privacy settings for the Internet and social media sites are set to the highest levels. Depending on which browser (IE, Chrome, etc) you are using,settings can be modified via the options tab.

Go Undercover
Some children are more tech savvy than others when it comes to hiding their online activities to include using fake names and blocking parents known email addresses on Facebook so they cannot see their pages. In order to get around this, you have to be very sneaky. One tactic is to create a fake profile page using a newly created email address unbeknownst to your child(ren) of someone in their age group and request to become their friend.

Be a Great Example
If you constantly tweeting and taking selfies to post to Instagram then you’re setting a poor precedent for social media usage that your child will surely mimic. Always remember to ask yourself if you’re setting a good example and demonstrating proper tech etiquette as well.

Penny For Your Thoughts: Are You A “Concern Troll”?

January 6th, 2016 - By Penny Wrenn
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You know The Concerned Person who sends you a private message on Facebook after you post something un-glossy on social media? And by un-glossy, I mean vulnerable, imperfect, direct and maybe even a little messy. And by messy, I don’t mean don’t-start-none-won’t-be-none messiness. I mean that which may seem like complex and somewhat tangled strands of discourse to the reader; that kind of messy. And when you display the aforementioned kind of messiness, The Concerned Person steps in to ask publicly, “Are you okay?”

“Are you okay?” seems harmless enough, caring even. But The Concerned Person hits you with an “Are you okay?” because, as he or she puts it, you don’t look as “healthy” in your Facebook photos as you did three years ago—when you were about 60 pounds thinner from running five miles a day and you didn’t have an aggressive case of adult onset acne. Then, The Concerned Person sends you an abbreviated lecture about self-care, all but accusing you of letting yourself go.

Now, you, dear reader, might be thinking, “Well, The Concerned Person is a good friend. More people should speak up when their friends have gained 60 pounds before those 60 pounds become 100 pounds!”

I, on the other hand, believe The Concerned Person is a variation of a troll.

“Concern troll” is a phrase for which I cannot take credit. I first heard it in a casual conversation with the writer Melissa Petro. In the past months, it’s become a budding term on the Internet, with an entry in Geekfeminism, Wikitionary and Urban Dictionary. But I don’t like those definitions as much as I like the explanation from Petro, who says:

“Concern Trolls be like, ‘Heeey [they always draw it out like that, too], I saw your post the other day on Facebook about your new boyfriend. Weren’t you just single? Are you sure you’re not moving too fast?’ Or else: ‘Heeey, I heard you quit your job. What happened?! That job was awesome! How are you going to pay your bills???’ Oftentimes it is good-natured, but the last thing most people need is a good friend reenforcing our fear and doubt.”

When Concern Trolls pull out their soapboxes, they open them up to scoop out the washing powder first, lathering up their grainy words to scrub you clean of the notion that your defects have a place on social media. They step on the soapbox to preach the gospel of faith and self-worth. Faith and self-worth are helpful sermons, but not when they’re wrapped up in undermining expressions that only make you feel like you’re doing something wrong.

Concern Trolls tell you how much they love you, and then they berate you for not loving yourself. (Really, Concern Troll? How the hell would you know? I love myself enough to get my a– out of bed in the morning, Concern Troll. I love myself enough to tell you kindly in this moment that I’m in my own capable hands, and yes, I know I’ve gained weight and my skin is on the fritz, but guess what? When I was skinny and glowing, I was crying myself to sleep at night and thinking about ways to kill myself. And fat, acne-scared me hasn’t thought about suicide in nearly a year. And you know what, Concern Troll? What you’re doing right now in the name of love and correction feels more like an exercise in blame, guilt, shame and intrusion. And I love myself enough to shut you down.)

Concern Trolls tell you how your fears are groundless and you worry too much or think too hard. (Really, Concern Troll? Well, I think you worry too much about my worrying and you’re thinking too hard about how hard I’m thinking.)

Concern Trolls are the tone police, pointing out that you’re too self-critical or too hard on yourself, and you’re too flippant or too serious or too angry or too wishy-washy or too insecure.

Sometimes they introduce these suggestions by saying, “God put this on my heart” to make you believe that they have the providence advantage. (God told me something, too, Concern Troll. But the God I serve has sense enough to add “a keep that yourself, baby” when it comes to insights about other people’s wrongs.)

Concern Trolls say things like, “If I were you, I’d ___!” And they swear they’re being supportive and enthusiastic about your potential. But what they’re really saying is: “You’re squandering your opportunity! You’re doing it all wrong! I’d never f–k up as badly as you’re f–king up right now!”

When Concern Trolls say, “I read your Facebook post. Are you okay?” It means “Whoa! I can’t believe you just wrote that! Don’t you know everybody—like, everybody—can read that? What are you thinking? Have you lost your mind?”

 Sometimes what looks like self-love to you is really just shallow vanity. And I’m digging deeper than all that.

I do not lack in self-love because I wear a weave to hide adult onset acne. I love myself enough to accommodate my imperfections. Feel free to think outside the box about what self-love looks like on people other than you, Concern Trolls, because I’m a fairly self-aware person.

And guess what, Concern Trolls, when you’re all, “Are you okay?” it’s usually long after I really wasn’t okay, and by the time you’re asking as though you really care, I’ve already been okay again for months.

So I guess what I’m saying is: Thank you for asking if I’m okay. Now, please, sit down. I got this.

Shaun King And The Question Of Too Much Black Death

December 15th, 2015 - By Charing Ball
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black death intro

Man, Shaun King has really pissed off some folks within the social justice sphere of Twitter.

No, I’m not talking about that, silly.

I’m not touching that…ahem, critique…with a 10-foot pole. I’ll just wait for the real tea to be spilled in the various memoirs, which I’m certain will eventually come out of this movement.

But for the sake of background info, I encourage you to read about the war of words between King and fellow activists Deray Mckesson and Johnetta Elzie, here.

However, what I would like to touch on is the critique that (sort of) started it all. More specifically, the idea that King’s efforts to draw attention to police brutality, including tweeting out endless loops of images and videos of Black people being killed by the police, is actually more traumatizing than it is helpful.

It should be noted that this critique is is not exclusive to what King is doing. In fact, whether or not to show graphic images of the dead is an unresolved issue in quite a few mainstream journalistic circles as well.

But it is also a critique that I’ve personally shared before. In particular, in a piece I wrote back in July of this year entitled, “I Am Tired of Talking About Black Death.”

In it, I wrote:

I don’t care if you call it race talk fatigue, but I too am tired of seeing images of Black people getting harassed, threatened, beat and murdered by the police. I want to virtually yell “enough already” at every single person who posts the videos, articles and ruminations. It’s constant, overwhelming and depressing. I’ve got my own life, which comes with its worries. Like these bills. And these moves, which have been taking way too long to make. It’s a struggle to get through the day dealing with my personal drama, and now I have to think about the extermination of Black people too?

For the record, I offered those sentiments out of concern for my own mental health as opposed to any attempt to provide an excuse as to why I should not care about the very real threat to Black people across the country. I do care. But watching Black people being murdered on a constant loop at the same moment you are experiencing hardships, can make one feel both helpless and hopeful.

Yet, in yesterday’s op-ed piece for the New York Daily News, King provided a counternarrative to the fatigue many of us feel from consuming too much Black Death.

As he explains:

Are you familiar with the cases of Albert Davis, Bennie Tignor, Darrius Stewart, Spencer McCain, Brandon Jones, Bobby Gross, Naeschylus Vincent, Thomas Allen or Jeremy Lett?

These were all completely unarmed black men killed by American police in 2015. Most didn’t receive hashtags or national press coverage.

Most of us don’t know their faces, couldn’t tell you where they’re from and don’t even recognize their names. This year will come and go and their stories will hardly be a blip on the news radar.

The one thing they had in common? None had viral videos.

King goes on to compare those unfamiliar victims with more notable victims who had the “privilege” of having their deaths filmed. More specifically, the video of Nicholas Robertson’s death. He was fatally shot by the LAPD just this past weekend. King said that the video, which he posted on his Facebook page and that has been seen more than a million times, forced the LAPD to hold a press conference to address concerns about the killing. This is something that King contends would not have happened if folks did not watch, connect with and eventually share the video.

As King writes:

A record 1,134 people have been killed by American police so far this year. Ninety nine percent of officers who kill someone, though, are never charged with any crime.

When they are charged, it is almost always because a video of some kind has gone viral. In fact, of 2,242 people killed by American police these past two years, almost every single widely known case is known because some type of video went viral. If most of us scrolled the list of casualties, the names would appear completely unfamiliar. They weren’t filmed.

He also adds (further down in the piece):

When police officers are violent, though, justice is slow and rare. Videos of their brutality are one of the only tools we have to cause police departments, prosecutors and politicians to even take the violence seriously.

You’d be hard pressed to name a single case of police brutality that Hillary Clinton or Bernie Sanders spoke about publicly that didn’t have a viral video.

Local news outlets have deep relationships with police departments. If you ever watch the local news on television you’ll see that a certain percentage of their stories, every single day, morning, noon, and night, come from the police. In a strange sense, they are business partners. Consequently, it’s rare for local press to be critical of police departments because they have to work together on a daily basis. Viral videos of police brutality are often what force local outlets in those cities to even cover it with a slightly critical eye.

I will not deny that King is making a salient and fair point. Without Ida B. Wells’s relentless pursuit of the truth, would our government and, eventually, our history have recognized the unjust lynchings of Blacks in the South?

Still, I do wonder if the constant stream of Black Death is also working to desensitize us to the issue of police brutality in general.

Now I understand how one might feel the answer to this may be muddled within all of those other concerns, which shall not be named, that folks have with King. But I honestly do not think there is any right or wrong answer here.

But what is disheartening is the overall need for the videos to exist in the first place. Particularly, the mere fact that these truths of what Black people have known for decades have to be consumed ad nauseam in hopes of persuading a large chunk of society, in particular, White people, of the injustices and humanities committed against us.

The Game Provides Us With A Lesson In Misogynistic Hypocrisy

December 11th, 2015 - By Veronica Wells
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Underwear Company Sees 500% Sales Boost After Game's Eggplant Photo

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There are plenty of rappers I cannot stand. But topping that list might be The Game. After watching him dog his long-time girlfriend out, talk to and about women any kind of way, including some particularly disgusting musings on Erykah Badu, and instruct his entourage to push a woman off the stage when she refused to show him her breasts and spitting on another woman from his spot in VIP, I just have nothing left for him.

Suffice it to say, The Game does not like women, not really.

Still, every once in a while he’ll do something exclusively for the ladies. We all remember those d-ck pictures and the nasty hashtags that came with them. Being that I’m not a fan, I looked but was unfazed. And then when he persisted, I realized that this was more about thirst than it was about trying to do something nice for the women he’s so often belittled.

We shouldn’t be surprised really, The Game has shown us time and time again that he’s not really for us…even when he’s pretending to be.

It happened again.

Today, he posted this on his Instagram, account.

In a world full of insta-famous, 1/2 clothed, airbrush your skin app using, duck lip doing, poke my but out, find the right angle, selfie taking for attention, club hosting for scraps, 500k followers with no morals having women, you're lucky if you find her…. & if you do, crown her… for she is YOUR QUEEN. One time for the working class women, the single mothers grinding that 9-5 as well as the future, doctors, lawyers, teachers etc… who value their self worth & just finished finals & are glad to finally be on Christmas break cause they worked so hard this semester to get closer to achieving their dreams….. This ones for you 👑 #itsGottaFeelGoodToHaveACareerOtherThanWaistTrainingTeaDrinkinOrTeethWhitening 😂✌🏾️

A photo posted by The Game (@losangelesconfidential) on

Sigh.

Before he issues a compliment to one set of women, he takes the time to berate “the others,” calling out Insta-famous, 1/2 clothed, poke my butt out, selfie taking for attention women. And that’s the short version.

If I didn’t know any better I would swear The Game was talking about himself. Let’s just be honest, these days we know The Game more for his reality show shenanigans (He knew he had no intention of marrying that Tiffney.) his clapback game on social media and the pictures he posts of his penis print. That’s it. So the fact he wants to talk about half-clothed attention-seeking is laughable. Not to mention the fact that the little cartoon characters are also naked.

Then, he turns his attention to the “good women.” The lawyers and teachers who are educated and achieving their dreams. As if someone with a college degree just couldn’t be shallow, half naked and attention seeking.

But aside from that, there’s the fact that The Game himself had one of these so-called good ones. Tiffney Cambridge, his former fiancée and mother of his children, was a teacher herself. And taking her through season after season of a tv show where he only claimed he was going to marry her and allegations of abuse, The Game did anything but crown her.

All of this is yet another way men like to blow smoke up our a–es, so they can control us with these impossible-to-reach standards. The notion is that if we can check off all of the listed requirements then surely we’ll get the title, the ring, the crown or hell, maybe even something radical like respect. But ask Tiffney how that worked out for her…and she took it a step further by giving The Game two beautiful children.

And Tiffney is not the only one. Before her, there was Valeisha Butterfield, the daughter of a Congressman. Butterfield is a author activist and political strategist. She was voted one Essence’s top 40 executives under 40. And how did The Game treat her? None of us can really say but the two called off their engagement in 2006. The first of his three children was born during their relationship in 2003.

So, while over 90 thousand people liked this post and women were thanking him all up and down the comment section, I would advise y’all to beware of The Game and men like him who love to tell women how to live their lives, as if they’ve figured out the answer to be a good woman in this world.

Boy, bye.

Put some clothes on and figure out your own situation before you try to criticize and crown women through Instagram but not through action.

Update: And if you need any more evidence of his lunacy, check out how he responded to this very civil critique of his Instagram post.

Serious Question: Would You Hire A Social Media Breakup Coordinator For $10/Day?

December 9th, 2015 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
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Would You Hire A Social Media Breakup Coordinator For $10/Day?

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Can I be honest? I can be quite dramatic after a breakup. I literally want to disappear. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I don’t want to go to public places. I go mute on social media for months. The pain is so agonizing that I have fantasized about hiring someone to run my life for me until things settle down while I’m off enjoying a sabbatical in some far away land. Obviously, that will probably never happen, but if I wanted to temporarily hand over my social media accounts to a capable professional during these difficult times, it appears that I could.

Researcher and photographer Caroline Sinders has tacked a new title to her resume: Social Media Breakup Coordinator. Yes, you read correctly. The New York-based artist premiered her services on Saturday, December 5 at Babycastles in Manhattan. While she admits that the endeavor is part of a performance art piece through which she “transforms Babycastles into a waiting room of the future for a new kind of life coaching experience,” Sinders insists that her plan was still to help people.

During the event, Sinders offered 15-minute sessions where the following services were provided:

-One-on-one consultation per your social media needs
-Archiving data/information from specific users
-Grouping people into specific lists to organize
-Facebook privacy explained
-Curating your posts to specific audiences
-Pruning your followers/followings lists
-Mute vs. block vs. unfollow
-Emotionally neutral phrases towards unfollowing

According to College Candy, Sinders begins the process by issuing a 21-question assessment to determine her clients’ preferred social media platforms and to establish what they’d like gain from their online presence.

“There are all different kinds of relationships in our networked lives, and they are incredibly intertwined. Social Media Break Up Coordinator is here to help cut some of those ties, without you deleting your accounts,” Sinders explained on the workshop’s Facebook invite. “Think of this as the art of tidying up your social media.”

While it seems that the concept could use a little more fleshing out, the general idea is thought-provoking. The Internet, specifically social media, has birthed all kinds of new and interesting professions and businesses that allow us bail on the crappy tasks that we’d prefer not to be bothered with—for a small (or large) fee, of course. Perhaps allowing your social media accounts to be handled by an experienced professional during times when you’re not feeling very social is the wave of the future.

From what we gather, Sinders is no longer offering these services. However, we’d like to know if you’d be willing to hire someone to take over social media for you during difficult periods. Noirettes, sound off.

Follow Jazmine on Twitter @JazmineDenise