All Articles Tagged "social media"
One thing I’ve learned working and writing for MadameNoire over the years is the fact that, women often work against their own interests. I see it in the ways women are quick to admit that certain women can push a man to strike her, rather than holding said man accountable for his actions. I see it in the ways the default position is to believe a man in instances of rape allegations. And while I know the history of White women accusing Black men of rape and everything else, the race of the woman really doesn’t make much of a difference in the level of vitriol she receives.
So perhaps, it should come as no surprise that women are the ones who use the most misogynistic language on the internet comes from women. A four-year study found that women in both the UK and the US were more likely to use misogynistic language on social media than men.
The research firm Brandwatch looked at 19 million tweets over the four year period to find the level of anti-woman sentiment online.
Of the 19 million tweets, 3 million of them contained words or phrases that were abusive to women. And most often, women were the ones who posted them.
While the word “cunt” was used predominately by men. Words like slut, hoe, b*tch, whore, dumb, ugly and bimbo, were more often used by women.
While there is no distinction in whether these phrases were used playfully, or in jest, the study did say they were looking for more than just the words but the context behind them.
Either way, it’s all pretty telling.
Are you surprised by these results?
It’s commonplace nowadays for wedding celebrations to be shared via social media. With all of the networks people are obessed with, you can’t tie the knot without a hashtag — and it better be a clever one! (#thewadeunion? #HappilyEverHoughton? Genius!)
The hashtag for my wedding, which is now just a little over a week away, is #VandDForever. Don’t go looking for anything as of right now, because you won’t find much. Okay, you won’t find anything at all…
But for those who love to share unique images from weddings, especially candids that I would love to see, I thought it made sense to provide some order to the whole process.
As much as I’ve said and still say that social media is one of the worst things to happen to people (you know, with the trolls and everything), I understand that it’s 2016, and this is how people communicate, share information, and do things in general. It’s not officially a cute outfit, a delicious meal or a fun celebration if others can’t see it and share their “Beautiful!” “You better do it” and “Yaaaaaaaas!” underneath a picture. But some people aren’t so open to others being the first to share precious moments from their ceremony.
For instance, there’s a woman I know who scolded her wedding guests on social media after she found out that they shared images from her wedding before she had the chance to. There was no hashtag for their nuptials. She accused people of not allowing her and her husband to enjoy their moment without feeling it necessary to let the world in on all the fun. Something that was supposed to be seen by close friends and family was put on display on social media as it was happening, and she wasn’t here for it.
But on the other hand, I also know of a young woman who tied the knot recently and livestreamed the whole thing. It was meant to help relatives who couldn’t take part in the celebration, but it was also appreciated by colleagues and old classmates online who were able to oooh and awww at the nuptials. She was more than happy to share her big day with the masses.
I’ve also been to weddings where brides were upset if you didn’t share pictures under their hashtag. One in particular contacted me to ask for whatever I had. I didn’t have many at all, so she was irritated — as though I was paid to be her amateur paparazzi for the day…
It’s all quite complicated. While I’ve spent time at weddings with my phone off so that I could enjoy the moment while people all around me let their flashes fly, I’ve also scrolled through hashtags and wondered why guests would share images of themselves all dolled up using the hashtag, but not of the bride and groom. There are times when I feel like things need to be kept intimate and private, and other times where I’ve happily benefited from folks oversharing pictures from weddings I would have loved to have been invited to.
All in all, I don’t fault anyone for sharing images online from people’s weddings. I believe it’s usually done out of excitement for the Mr. and Mrs., not to put a damper on anyone’s special moment. But, of course, it’s important that people do so with the permission of the two parties saying “I do.” Again, it is their moment.
It’s important to have balance, though. We attended Jazmine Rogers’s wedding this past Sunday (my former “Road to the Altar” co-writer), and I spent a majority of the time with my phone off. It wasn’t because I wasn’t fully enthralled by all the love and happiness I was seeing, but rather, because I wanted to be fully enthralled by it while also fully in the moment. I do think that at times we can be too focused on having the sharpest and most unique images or video that many of us don’t sit and just bask in the beauty of what we’re witnessing. Sometimes we’re so busy trying to create memories via photo and video that we end up missing out on real ones being made.
A lot of us joke about certain social media posts giving us life, but the sad truth is Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are where some people really go to live. We’re not saying these sites are bad, but it’s important to make sure that you don’t become dependent on social media to feel, well, social. Here are signs you depend on social media to feel social/alive/attractive/and a bunch of other things you should be able to do without memes and gifs and status updates.
If someone doesn’t tag you in a photo…
They will feel the wrath of a thousand hellish flames. You’ll send them a pretty passive aggressive text asking why they didn’t tag you in the photo when they tagged everybody else! It’s almost as if, if you’re not tagged, you don’t get credit for living that moment.
While chatting with The Rickey Smiley Morning Show recently, Tyler Perry, who was celebrating his TLC show Too Close to Home getting a second season, talked about something he rarely touches on publicly — family life. Perry is the proud dad of 2-year-old Aman Tyler Perry and raises the little one with his girlfriend Gelila Bekele. And while he loves talking with friends in media about the impact Aman has had on him (including encouraging Tyler to lose weight so he can be around longer), you won’t see any images of the child anytime soon. Tyler told the hosts that he doesn’t want to expose his son to such negativity. He just wants to enjoy parenthood privately and allow his son to be a kid, undisturbed, as well.
“Me and mom are here, we’re just enjoying it. Loving every moment of it,” Tyler said of raising Aman. “I love waking up in the morning, him come running to me. Those hugs? It’s life-changing. And I know there are no pictures of him, but that’s not something we do. We’re not the kind of parents — my son’s not famous. We’re trying very hard to keep him protected so that he can know who he is before he gets into the crazy bull crap of this social media world.”
Perry’s response is in the same vein of Halle Berry’s response to people on Instagram asking if she is ashamed of her children because she doesn’t show their faces. As she put it, “It’s my belief, and I’m not criticizing others who have different beliefs, that it’s my job as their mother to protect their privacy as best I can. When they grow and they’re of age and they want share their images on the internet, that will be for them to decide, not me. Feel me?”
I know that’s right. But back to Perry!
The writer, director, producer and actor also stated that he wants to raise Aman to be independent. Same goes for Tyler’s family. While he is worth around $400 million, the 47-year-old said he’s not giving handouts to anyone in his life.
“I say no a lot, man. I’m not doing that. I’m not no bank,” Tyler said. “I have my aunts I take care of and sisters and brothers, but you’ve got to be working. You’ve got to have a job. You’ve got to work for me to help you. I’m not welfare. I don’t do that. I don’t care if you have a little job making $200 a month or something, I will help you to support your life if you’re my family. But the thing is, you’ve got to work. I don’t do that charity thing. It’s going to be the same thing for my son. He’s going to have to go to work. He ain’t going to be one of those kids sitting around here with their hand out driving this car and that car and living rich. Naw, brotha. Mommy and daddy got money. You ain’t got none.”
“I Work Very Hard To Keep Their Identities As Private As I Can” Halle Berry On Why She Won’t Show Her Kids’ Faces On IG
If you follow Halle Berry on Instagram you may notice that her children’s faces are noticeably absent. Still you know that they are often with her. You’ll see their hands, hair, feet and even the shirts they’re wearing. But their faces are not shown. One of Halle’s Instagram followers noticed this and made sure to ask her why she keeps obscuring her children’s faces.
What’s with the hiding of the faces? They’re beautiful children why not show them off? [exasperated eye roll emoji.]
Apparently, Halle had time on this particular day and she took some of it to respond to the woman’s query.
At the end of the day, they’re Halle’s children and she is raising them the best way she sees fit. What do you think about her decision to conceal their faces on social media?
Not too long ago our little sister Solo released her third full-length album, ranking number one album on the iTunes charts, A Seat At The Table. The album is a passionate and heartfelt ode to Black womanhood, encapsulating the current social climate, and a timelessness of artistic creation. Her mom, affectionately known as Mama Tina (Tina Lawson) took to social media to express her excitement and pride for her daughter’s achievement. With two instagram posts, Tina gushed over Solange’s long overdue recognition as an artist. Each post is dripping in joy, and love, and will have your eyeballs sweating.
Oh my goodness I just found out my Baby has the Number one album in the whole country !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How friggin amazing is that !!!!!! I'm sooooooooooooookoooooooooooo poud of you Solo! I am so happy to see that the world can finally see what I've seen since you were three years old. That you were really special that you were ahead of your time and that you walked to the beat of your own drum and that you stuck to it no matter how much shit people talked.. I knew it ! When you walked thru Sharpstown mall with Angie and everybody was laughing because you had on those platform shoes and Japanese prints stockings and mixed prints braids down past your butt😀you didn't care!
With a bit of humor, Mama goes on with one of Kanye’s most notable quotes, “I’m a let you finish” and shares how she has waited for the day the world would acknowledge, and embrace Solo’s artistic gift, as well as her uniqueness.
I'm sorry Solange I'm a let you finish , but I have to say that I have to finish and Beyonce and myself and Kelly and Angie have often had conversations about you saying "we will cherish the day that the world knows how talented and creative and amazing an artist you are"! I do believe that the day has arrived thank you Almighty God!!! You are-awesome and thank you to all the fans who supported this record you are awesome also !!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
At the moment it doesn’t seem like there is anyone more proud of her children than Mama Tina. Taking every opportunity she can, Tina acknowledges, and revels in her daughter’s successes. Beyonce is even goals for her own mom! With a passion for tacos like the rest of us, Tina also shares via Instagram, that it was a picture of her daughter, sent by her trainer, that kept her fitness goals on track.
Mother Tina is the real Queen. Reigning effortlessly, she has reared, and ushered into greatness two of the world’s most notable musical contributors. She the living holy grail, responsible for a large part of the era we are experiencing. Shoutout to Mrs. Lawson, for coming through for the win!
In the age of social media posts, many of us are sharing the daily occurrences in our lives online in some capacity. Whether we are tweeting, facebooking or instagramming, these are all great ways to stay connected with family and friends. But if we’re not careful, we can venture into over-sharing and creating a digital footprint we’re none too proud of. While some people are very private and limit their social media activity to the occasional benign post, there are some who view social media as a personal diary where they go to document every thought and dramatic twist of their lives. Not only can over-sharing annoy our friends and followers, it can also embarrass our kids and jeopardize our livelihood. When it comes to social media habits, we should lead by example for our children. Here are 5 posts you may want to try and avoid when using social media.
5 Social Media Posts Parents Should Avoid
It seems like there’s a day designated for just about everything and everyone under the sun. I’m not complaining. I definitely plan on celebrating today, National Taco Day later on. Well, yesterday was National Boyfriend Day. So all over social media men and women were celebrating the men in their lives. In the midst of this celebration, seven women learned that they were all attached to the same boyfriend.
— Regular Degular (@s_bontiff) October 4, 2016
— nnenna . (@its_catherinee) October 4, 2016
— Nne✨ (@NigerianThugga) October 4, 2016
— syd💫 (@SydPetite) October 4, 2016
— OG (@oghosdidi) October 4, 2016
— Princess 👑 (@Nigerian__InMe) October 4, 2016
Oh Lord! Not only did the man, the object of each of these women’s affections see all seven of the tweets, he retweeted them to his own profile so the world could see that seven different women were claiming him as his man.
When the women started questioning it, Charles jumped in to defend himself.
— Niggadamus (@KINGxCHARLESIII) October 4, 2016
Several of the women tried to provide receipts, tweeting that they were trying to reach Charles on the phone. Charles jumped into the conversation once again to explain that he’s “a chief in his village” and is supposed to five wives. Later, he made light of the whole thing.
— Niggadamus (@KINGxCHARLESIII) October 4, 2016
He may be a jerk and a half but that is funny!
You know the conversation went on all day. But we’ll just leave it at that.
I don’t know if these relationships are real or not. But the exchange certainly made me chuckle. Moral of the story, if you’re going to brag about your man on social media, make sure he’s yours and yours alone.
In recent times, people have started to look to celebrities to take a stand on a variety of social issues—especially those that deal with race and police brutality. And while some stars choose to remain mum or oblivious to the almost daily occurrences of such social injustices, others choose to share their opinions on race relations. Some are even devising solutions to help people of color combat White supremacy.
— jesseWilliams. (@iJesseWilliams) September 28, 2016
Actor Jesse Williams, for instance, has been advocating against police brutality and shedding more light on how certain American laws and a variety of police departments across the country never intended to serve or protect the Black community. Following in Williams’s footsteps are 20 celebrities who are using their platforms to educate their followers and peers in the entertainment and sports industries.
I had this crush on this girl that sat behind me in biology 6 years ago, today I married her pic.twitter.com/Gq4AEzr0vS
— Quell (@quezzy_quell) September 23, 2016
There’s a picture of a newly married Black couple circulating the internet that has garnered quite a bit of attention. It’s not your average wedding photo. In it, the groom is palming, grabbing, squeezing, groping the hell out of his new wife’s behind.
I mean, this dude is so deeply concentrated on her booty, that his eyes are virtually closed. And then there’s the very sweet and romantic caption that accompanies it.
“I had this crush on this girl that sat behind me in biology 6 years ago, today I married her.”
As you might imagine, the image hasn’t received more than 26 thousand retweets because their love story is one for the ages. It’s the booty grab that has people in their feelings.
Here’s what some people had to say.
Not when my mother is alive
@Chicasa lmhooo it’s not when my mother is still alive than man will grab my buttocks like that infront of camera.
— BABY ELEPHANT (@YvonnEledje) September 23, 2016
@quezzy_quell Congrats but it’s kinda a degrading pic….still……yall are too darn too cute!!!
— BlackPressRadio (@BlackPressRadio) September 24, 2016
@quezzy_quell Could’ve been a very beautiful picture if you didn’t squeeze her butt so tightly; Show her more respect in future. Congrats!
— Sewuese Bem (@bsewe01) September 23, 2016
@quezzy_quell I pray y’all are this happy in 30yrs time. But there’ll be no ass to grab then. So why not start by showing her some dignity?
— Son (@stuckabove) September 24, 2016
@quezzy_quell The only thing that spoil this pix is the way you grabbed her butt. Very degrading. She is your wife not a harlot
— Zoe Dorren AkwaUgo (@Dorren06) September 24, 2016
This harlot word is the one I want to discuss a bit. It’s so interesting to me that people’s expectations of women are so narrow and limited. Society likes to put women in one of two boxes, wholesome or whorish. And the cognitive dissonance that occurs when a woman represents herself or allows herself to be represented as both simultaneously, almost causes people’s minds to explode. And I say it’s interesting because the assumption is that most married couples have sex. In fact, wedding guests can almost guarantee that the very couple who they’re watching smile for pictures, cut the cake and slow dance; will, in a matter of hours, be having sex. Whether people want to acknowledge these facts doesn’t make them any more or less true. Perhaps folks don’t like being confronted with images they don’t like to consider. There’s the argument that by taking this picture he turned his wife into a sex object. As if, without his hand on her behind, she never had the potential to be that and so much more.
There are those who will argue that since she is a sex object for her particular man, they shouldn’t send this image out on social media. That’s a valid opinion but social media is all about sharing thoughts, opinions, and images of ourselves. And if she wanted to share just a tidbit of her sexuality with the world, I really don’t see the problem. Then again, what constitutes an overshare to me and what is an overshare to you is a matter of preference. Apparently, to this bride, this picture was not.
There are those who thought the sweet caption and the sexual picture didn’t exactly mesh. That thought, the fact that sentimental and sex don’t go hand in hand reminded me of a conversation I had with my mother and aunt. We were talking about sex in the confines of a marriage. I don’t know how the conversation took this particular turn; but I think I mentioned something about whores or feeling like a whore in reference to sexuality, and either my aunt or my mother said, “And sometimes you have to be that for your husband too.” And the other one cosigned.
Here I was thinking that wife and whore were completely and utterly unrelated, opposites of one another. But these women, who I love and respect, who’d managed to make marriages work for decades, were telling me otherwise. I didn’t understand the full gravity of their words for years to come. But as I get older and older and realize the ways in which men/women/society tries to suppress women, the more I feel the truth in that statement. Women are “both and” not “either or.”
But more than a discussion on feminism or the sexualization of Black women, the smile on her face tells it all. There is no part of her expression or her body language that says she was uncomfortable with this, that she didn’t realize he was grabbing her booty. Nothing in her face says that by projecting herself or allowing herself to be projected as a sex object, she was somehow degrading herself or allowing her husband, with one gesture to remove her from the pedestaled position of wife. So regardless of what anyone else thinks about this, the fact that she was cool with it, should let us know we don’t have to be pressed either.
And to be clear, there were many more who were all for it.
— vnsa mja (@imblackbear) September 24, 2016