Damali Elliott, the young entrepreneur behind Petals-N-Belles, an organization dedicated to the mentorship and guidance of young woman said,

“There’s a point for [boys] when they’ve ‘reached manhood’ and can say, “I’m a man.” There’s no definitive moment where a girl becomes a woman. Except a Sweet Sixteen which isn’t really womanhood. I think that’s something that needs to change. We need to teach girls that there are times when you have to become more serious about things. How to handle yourself in business. How to present yourself, just in general. Women stay in remedial positions and seem to accept that. They don’t reach for anything higher. No one really ever says, “You’re a woman, go for it! I want to help my girls [in Petals-N-Belles] to make decisions that will prepare them for that transition.”

I agree with that sentiment immensely.  In observing girls, women my own age and even myself nowadays, the general consensus among many young women (black or otherwise) seems to be that in order to be a “grown woman” you need to have a few ideas of your own, any amount of income (stable or not) and a “relationship.” It’s funny to me because I never thought of myself as “grown” until I reached college, living outside of my mother’s household, making many more of my own decisions than I ever had to before. But looking back on those college years, I can see how ill-equipped I really was to deal with love, life and all the intricate matters in between. I thought I had it TO-GE-THER, honey. But I couldn’t balance a checkbook, had low self-esteem, didn’t know what my capabilities were in life, and had issues that prevented me from being functional within a relationship. I was a hot mess, but I thought I was “grown” and was just glad to be living on my own. Hmph. Life sure taught me a thing or two.

It’s fair to say our vision has been skewed, perhaps by the lack of examples. Or maybe society’s about-face toward materialism has stifled the standard that once was. There was a dignity and class about women back in the day that is absolutely RARE today. But perhaps it’s time to redefine what “grown” looks like and hop on the good foot to get back to it.

“Grown” has nothing to do with having your own place or engaging in sexual intercourse. “Grown” isn’t contained in how many men can buy you gifts and how many clubs you can bounce around to within a week’s time, or simply how many bills you pay and that you pay rent on a little somethin’ somethin’. “Grown” is a much more internal thing that can’t help but to be manifested outwardly. If you know your worth, that’s where it all begins. If you know and accept your responsibilities, that’s another step on the continuum.

I can’t allow my home to go lacking so I can purchase this season’s Louboutins. That’s not a “grown woman.” I can’t watch every trash reality show and comment on each character but refuse to find the time or will to finish my degree. That’s not a “grown woman.” So many young ladies whom I have mentored within past years have had grand ideas and flowing declarations of what they were going to do with their lives and also what they refused to do. I had to sit back in awe as I recognized so much of my younger self in them–a lot of brass but little brain to back it up. Becoming a “grown woman” demands that we count up the cost, get our ducks in a row, think ahead, be prepared, do the little extra, because in its very essence, that’s what it means to be a good woman, a GROWN woman. Grown women do what they can where they are even when they DON’T FEEL LIKE IT and they work to become whatever they need/want to become. We revel in our femininity but do not use it to seduce. We nurture and cultivate. We know and uphold our priorities. We go the extra mile and enjoy a few pleasures as a reward for their efforts. We choose the road less traveled when we’ve reached true “grown woman” status because we know that our lives are unique and we need to shine a light for those who come after us.

What constitutes a “grown woman” to you? How has your perspective changed through the years?

La Truly is a late-blooming Aries whose writing is powered by a lifetime of anecdotal proof that awkward can transform to awesome and fear can cast its crown before courage. La seeks to encourage thought, discussion and change. Her blog: www.hersoulinc.com and Twitter: @AshleyLaTruly.

“A Dollar and A Dream” spotlights low- and no-cost ways to build a better business. The economy may be lagging, but new resources are empowering small business owners like never before. Follow the series to learn how to take your dreams to the next level without breaking the bank.

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“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”  -Nelson Mandela

We’ve all heard soaring quotes about the value of an education. The poetry of these words has never been more practical. Today’s business world requires entrepreneurs to make education a priority.

More than keeping you on the top of your game, learning improves your bottom line. Whether you take a class in calligraphy or small business principles, growing your expertise will save you from spending money on consultants and cleaning up after your own mistakes.

With the ramifications of the student loan crisis looming, students and institutions alike are looking for better ways to signal knowledge and skills to employers. Educational institutions are rethinking the way they teach and experimenting with technology to democratize education. In the future, a resume may display a digital badge, showing the completion of an online course rather than a degree.

The debate on the future of education is nowhere near settled. In the meantime, entrepreneurs and life long learners can take advantage of the benefits coming out of the discussion.  Class is in session with the best minds in the world, and tuition is free.

Online courses lack the intimacy of the classroom. Some websites offer assignments and quizzes to track your learning. But, don’t expect the same experience as an in-classroom course.

Online resources, like those listed below, will you give enough direction to refresh your skills or feed your interest in a new subject. Unlike traditional programs, online study can be easily tailored to your schedule and areas of interest. If you’re really feeling fierce, start a study group within your network to encourage one another and capture that classroom feel.

Coursera is a social entrepreneurship company that partners with the top universities in the world including Stanford, Princeton, and Emory.

Price: Free

Style: Lecture

Topics: A wide range spanning the humanities, medicine, biology, social sciences, mathematics, business, computer science, and many others.

Sample Courses:

• Grow to Greatness: Smart Growth for Private Businesses, Part II (Edward D. Hess, University of Virginia)
• Developing Innovative Ideas for New Companies (Dr. James V. Green, University of Maryland, College Park)

30 Second MBA is an ongoing video curriculum, presented by Fast Company, of good advice from successful people in business today.

Price: Free

Style: Short, unfiltered videos

Topics: Business questions ranging from the practical to the philosophical.

Sample Courses:

• How Do You Raise Funds? (Jess Lee, Cofounder And Head Of Product Management, Polyvore)
• How did you find your last great idea? (Carol Kruse, Senior Vice President Of Marketing, ESPN)

While there are a million reality television shows out there, I still enjoy the comfort of the cinematic experience and a good sitcom here and there.
Nowadays, things are on the up and up, as there are many great black actors who are bringing serious talent to the big and small screens. Take for instance the very fine Michael Ealy in the buddy-cop comedy “Common Law” (one of my favorite shows of the summer), and Jamie Foxx in the new Tarantino western Django Unchained (dropping this Christmas). But while very talented black actors and actresses are getting the chance to flex their acting chops and do so very well, there are still some actors that seem to fall short on the big and small screen.

Here are a few seasoned actors who should work on their craft, and really try to break form the norm so they can end up in A-List bliss instead of the black hole that is reality television, or even worse: Doomed to being seen solely in Thursday night BET movies.

Source: uptownmagazine.com

Lisa Raye

I don’t know if doing Player’s Club held Lisa Raye back creatively, but every performance I see of the star seems to be Diamond all over again (talking like she’s reading off of a cue card). You might be able to blame it on the lack of diverse roles, but it seems that the all-white lover only plays the sassy sista, and even on her show, “Single Ladies,” it’s more of the same. If you’re going to be the sassy sista every time, at least put your foot in it and make us want to keep watching! Oh Lisa, you’ve been in the game since ’95 and there still hasn’t been much evolution. But we’ll keep our fingers crossed…

The warning signs that your job is probably not for you could come as a subtle whisper or a loud, boisterous roar. It might be difficult to admit, even to yourself, when your well-paying, stable job just might not meet your needs as a professional. There is no need to be ashamed of leaving a job for one that will utilize your skills, have opportunities for advancement and reflect your professional and personal beliefs.

If you have been questioning the relationship between you and your career lately and feel like the spark may finally be gone, these signs might assure you that it’s probably that time to tell that current job, “I’m just not that into you.”

(Success Magazine) –Every issue of SUCCESS magazine is designed to support, instruct and uplift the entrepreneur. But this issue we’re focusing specifically on your needs as a business owner. We know you’re the type of person who wants more out of life; your career isn’t about a paycheck, it’s about creating your best possible life and becoming your best possible self. That’s why, even though we pride ourselves on offering you meaningful content every issue, I believe this edition is one of the most important issues we offer all year.

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