All Articles Tagged "single life"
I had just come out of an exponentially bad relationship of almost two years; one of those relationships that you completely lose yourself and your identity in, and finding your new place in the world after it’s all over feels much like learning to acclimate to living on another planet.
I was 30 years old and beginning my life again. After alienating most of my friends while I was in the relationship because I didn’t want to see the truth mirrored back at me about just how bad the partnership was, I was in desperate need of inspiration, a mentor or a BFF. I was ready to spread my wings and fly solo, to really celebrate my singleness. I was looking for other female voices out there representing the positive, inspirational, joyful side of single life.
Unfortunately, those voices were nowhere to be found. The bookstores offered hundreds of tomes celebrating love and marriage, parenthood and dating. There were books instructing you on how to date a man, land a man, keep a man; books detailing how to “get anyone to fall in love with you” or even “survive your single life,” but not a word aboutcelebrating your single life. Why was everyone treating it as the prologue to marriage instead of a wildly beautiful adventure all its own?
Since I had exhausted all my possibilities and still couldn’t find the voice of hope for single women among all the voices of discouragement, I decided to become it.
I started a column, which soon led to The Single Woman Twitter page, which almost overnight began to pick up steam, which led to a Facebook page, which led to the creation of a website a year later, which led to an e-book, which led to my first published book, The Single Woman: Life, Love, & A Dash Of Sass. As of this moment, The Single Woman message reaches almost a million people across the world, every single day.
Read more at YourTango
You tell yourself, “That will never be me” when you see the haggard looking woman across the street come out for her newspaper in the only thing you’ve ever seen her wear—her bathrobe. But she never thought that’d be her either! That’s because she missed these crucial signs that she was on her way to becoming a crazy cat lady.
Nobody doubts that you love your man. Nobody doubts that you appreciate having a partner-for-all-activities. And certainly nobody doubts you enjoy having a guaranteed ride to the airport. Even still, everybody misses these aspects of being single sometimes.
One day in December, while I was working with a client, he came clean: “I don’t like working in the winter,” he confessed.
For those of us who find solitude energizing, winter is heaven’s cousin: the perfect excuse to stay inside with ten great books, a lot of paper and a lot of pens; coffee’s optional. For others, winter means misery. Especially for singles, the cold months can be particularly lonely and frustrating.
If you find yourself feeling moody, argumentative, irritable or annoyed during the winter, maybe you are just S.A.D. Seasonal Affective Disorder is a well-researched condition that affects many individuals between 15 and 55 years of age. Its symptoms are very similar to clinical depression, except they are triggered by the environmental changes experienced when we go from the fall season to the winter solstice.
Read more at YourTango
How have your own friendships changed once kids came into the picture?*name has been changed
Taking particular shots at Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone by Eric Klinenberg, a book that champions the virtues of singlehood, Schwartz writes, “Individuals don’t transfer values from one generation to the next. Individuals are biologically incapable of producing a next generation except in the crudest possible sense of the term. Socialization—the process through which a person internalizes what is good and bad, meaningful and meaningless—is shaped by one’s relatives, the friends and associates who surround a person, and typically a canon of texts that is revered and consulted for guidance. The values of expressive individualism guarantee that the values of future generations will be more or less up for grabs for the simple reason that expressive individualists have a difficult time replicating (the demographic data don’t lie) and an even more difficult time socializing a child. ”
I haven’t read the book Going Solo however I am very familiar with the stigma attached to those who choose to create a habitat of one, especially if you are a woman of a certain age. Single people are supposed to be selfish and lonely and miserable. Your life is a tale of tragedy usually reserved as an example of what not to become. At best you are immature, caught up in a perpetual arrested development, which won’t allow you to face real adulthood. And at the most, you are eccentric weirdo, who is only 12 felines away from being the cat-lady. And now thanks to Schwartz, we can add immoral, valueless sycophants to the list. No way can individuals, living individually, work towards the greater good of society. We are all too caught up in our demands for privacy and single serving packages of meat (seriously, can they get around to making that) to actually want to share any redeeming values, worth sharing with the next generation.
And this is not just my experience. A recent national survey suggest that single people are more likely to visit, support, contact, and advise their siblings and parents than married or even previously married people. And according to an article in Science 2.0, research in Portugal and Belgium, has concluded that better societies are best formed when individuals are free to act as they wish, as individuals, as opposed to acting in more restrictive social and political dogmas. I have met many single folks who have packed up their lives on a whim to go off to some far away land for volunteer work through some overseas aid organization. More domestically, we can’t forget about the single folks, who work extra hours at the company while the married folks are off on maternity leave, tending to doctor visits and parent/teacher conferences and jetting off for family emergencies. Without the selfless sacrifices of single people, much of the vital work needed to maintain the ‘greater good’ wouldn’t get done. Yes it is true that human beings are naturally pack-like creatures. Married people tend to suffer less mental illness and are in better physical health. However, for a growing number of folks, marrying and having kids is not their definition of the good life. And being forced to co-habitat and procreate can have a bigger impact on your health than just remaining a household of one.
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