All Articles Tagged "single black men"
You know how it is, a man’s stock value doesn’t really decline as he ages, which means that he gets to take his sweet little time when playing the field and deciding on who to wife up. But despite the fact that men settle down at an older age, relative to women, many guys are still looking to get married by the time they hit their 30s. And when we meet seemingly great guys in their 40s, who are single with no kids, we sometimes wonder…what’s up with that?
When it comes to celebrities, we know that we don’t know all of their business but some of these fine, single, 40-something celebrities got us confused. For example, why is Maxwell still on the market and how come we never see him out with nobody? Is it that many of these guys don’t want to settle for one woman? Do they not want to grow up? Or is it that they struggle with finding “the one” to accompany them on the red carpet?
There may be some other things you want to know about Trey Songz (like, if his girl’s neighbors do in fact know his name), but we can help out in the department of what he smells like. Trey is the spokesman for Rocawear’s new men’s fragrance called Evolution.
When the bottle arrived in our office (black, modern, clean lines), I immediately had all the men try it on. Surprisingly, it smelled nice on all of them. I say surprisingly because like Jill said, “everything ain’t for everybody,” but Evolution settled quite nicely into each person’s unique scent. When I took it home to hubby, he took to it as well. Nice addition to the rotation.
So, what does Evolution smell like? The press release explains the scent very well as “sultry musks, woody amber, rum doused fruits” and a few other perfectly worded descriptions that add up to a grown-man scent that is very engaging. You’ll notice when a man walks into the room wearing Evolution.
I will say though that Trey Songz is not the first person I thought of when I smelled this scent. I imagined some mature, broad-shouldered, cigar-smoking man with a wicked smile and a penchant for flying first class. Names like Idris and Laz come to mind. Not mad at Trey as the pitchman though. Not mad at all.
Jay-Z, the businessman behind Rocawear had this to say about the crooner:
He opened for me on the Blue Print 3 Tour to venues full of screaming women. He is the perfect person to communicate Evolution, as he has grown so much musically and as an artist.
Evolution is pretty affordable too. the 1.0 fl oz. spray is only $37.00 and the 3.4 fl. oz. size is $67. Grab a bottle at your nearest Macy’s and other retailers right now.
Have you had a whiff of Evolution yet? What’s your fav cologne on your man?
On a scale of 1-10 of foul things people do; 1 being not cool and 10 being totally foul sometimes the only way to describe a situation is “damn that’s Fawked up”! Ok we get it men are from Mars, women are from Venus and we’re all dogs but some of the more mature ones cringe (yes men cringe) when we see some of the things our boys do to their women. Maybe on a sub conscious level we cringe because we see our former selves in such terrible actions. I can’t fit all the foul stories into one post so I may have to do a part two but here we go (in no particular order):
I’ve lived alone for years, roommate- and drama-free just as I like it. I haven’t had a roommate since my sophomore year of college over 10 years ago, and the only beef either of us ever had with one another was when he woke up from a nap to find I killed his bag of Better Made Red Hot potato chips.
Because I’m a straight guy strongly accustomed to being untethered, it should come as no surprise that I have a few bad habits.
Thanks to the decline in societal morals and values, the quality of men continues to dwindle. Marriage-material can be hard to find and the hounds are like wolves in sheep’s clothing. When you meet that great guy (who respects women other than his mom, loves Jesus, would never hit you and doesn’t have any side chicks) it’s important not to run him away. Like you, he too, has other options.
On the other hand, some of us need to cleanse our love lives and send the dogs packing. So, whether you’re trying to shake a flea or continue to polish your gem, here are a few things to avoid or embrace that deter black men:
It’s Friday night and you feel like getting fly and hitting the club with your girls. You put on that “freak um” dress determined to remind yourself that you can still shake your thang with the best of them. You’re not going to the club to find a man, but if a cutie came your way you’d get your flirt on. You walk into the spot and you definitely get that male attention…from a very persistent dude that you’re NOT feeling. No need to be rude or get angry. You’re looking your hottest, can you blame him? You need a plan to tactfully circumvent this unwanted holla.
However, different kinds of men require different methods of escape. Here’s how to deal with five different types of guys that won’t take no for an answer.
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Single life is often seen one-dimensionally. One would think being single is equivalent to a sentence on death row the way society views single women as the spinster curled up on the couch in a robe and rollers every Friday night. The world forgets the benefits of the single woman’s life- being able to date freely without a care in the world. Hopefully, more and more women are enjoying the world of carefree dating while waiting on love.
Women are reared to find a husband and have babies. Dating a number of men at one time are grounds to get you thrown in the floozy category thanks to patriarchy. Bachelors on the other hand are given props for their refusal to commit. They are encouraged to remain single as long as they can. When they do finally settle down it is viewed as if he’s doing a woman a favor by taking her off the market. It’s high time women define their own singleness by stepping away from the confinements of what society considers acceptable.
When I was single there were times I hated dating, and other times I loved it. My outlook largely depended on where I was at in my life at the moment. In hindsight, I realized the periods I hated dating was based on my perspective. Instead of having fun, enjoying getting to know someone without any expectations, I was thinking, ‘where is this going to go?’ with every single guy I met. Big mistake. As women we tend to look at the long-term end goal instead of just living in the moment.
Go on a date without even thinking about if he’ll call tomorrow. If you hit it off great, if not, that’s cool too. Every guy you date is not supposed to be your boyfriend. If you are dating a number of guys anyway, there is no pressure for any of them to be “The One.”
I will admit, dating can be tiring with all the getting to know someone phase and trying to weed out the genuine from the jerks. But your perspective on dating makes all the difference in the world. If you don’t expect much, dating becomes less of a hassle. And I’m inclined to say you get much more out of your dating experiences when looking for less. You may end up with a guy you hope never calls you again, a lifelong friend, a business connect or eventually a partner. That’s the joy of it all- the possibilities are endless.
I’m not advocating for women to sleep with every man she’s dating. Some people are under the impression dating equals sexing. Not at all. Then there is the question, “Well isn’t it wrong to be dating more than one man at a time?” I’m always startled by the belief it’s wrong when women do it, but when a man is single we damn near expect him to be humping dating a plethora of women. Here’s the thing: you are single! The whole point of being single is having the freedom to do as you please. As long as you’re not leading anyone on, lying or intentionally hurting anyone, do as you please.
Ladies, embrace being fabulous and single. One day you may reminisce on these very times with fond memories. Dating is all about what you make it. Now get out there and date! And as often as you want with whomever you want. It’s your world.
Relationship experts are a hot commodity these days, maybe they always have been but no one can deny that right now is “their time.” While some men could use their own relationship experts to let them know that chivalry is not dead, how to bring being a gentleman back; the experts in demand cater to women largely. Questions range from how to get a man, how to keep a man, how to stop him from cheating. Lastly, how can I find a brother who’s educated, not incarcerated, not on the down low and fairly attractive?
My favorites are the women who are bluntly honest and come right out and ask their male friends or Hill Harper, “how do I become wifey, the Mrs., not the side chick?”
I appreciate these sisters for their honesty and frankness. They say, “Cut the BS, I want to know how to stop dating these unavailable men or take Mr. Unavailable and make him see that I’m the one.” Forget all the books, “Nightline” segments, and relationship panels. The answer is simple, to get wifed you must have a certain “it factor.”
So far nothing I’ve said is news to you, the problem is you’re asking the wrong person. Contrary to popular belief men are not some monolithic being who all operate with same set of values, likes or interests. When women ask their friends for relationship advice whether male or female, or they consult this month’s favorite book all you’re getting is that person’s perspective not the guy you actually want.
For instance, I had dinner with maybe seven of my fraternity brothers back in November. Relationships came up (yes, we talk about more than sports and Adult Videos although both of those topic came up as well.) The point is seven men had a dialogue about what qualities make a woman “the one,” their particular “it factor” and there were 7 different answers. In fact it might have been more than seven because some dudes had multiple answers that contradicted their previous one. (I guess the ladies are right, we can be confusing.)
Some brothers wanted a super freak while others wanted someone as pure as the Virgin Mary. One brother wanted a head strong, ambitious young woman to build a foundation with. Another wanted someone more docile who knew their role so to speak.
If one of my female friends asks me what is it that makes a woman wife material, first I have to let her know that I am speaking from the perspective of Cedric. I can only speak for myself because ultimately my response is going to tell her how to get to my heart and no one else’s. The most important thing a woman can do is define her “it factor” for herself, cultivating the person who she is and who she wants to be. As cliché as it seems, no one can love you until you are in love with you.
Lastly, what’s the rush? I know your biological clock is ticking and that’s a very mannish thing for me to say but it’s true. Good things come to those who wait. So many people rush into relationships because they want the warmth of knowing they have “someone” rather than “the one”. There’s no one built like you, you’re “it” for somebody. Allow the creator to prepare you while he prepares your king, he exists and your it factor is just what he’s looking for.
With statistics like the ones we’ve been bombarded with lately regarding black women and relationships, we’re learning that in some instances (only some) a closed mouth may not get a man. What exactly does that mean?
Well, nowadays it’s not unheard of for a woman to show a man’s she’s interested (Please note, showing a man you’re interested and pursuing a man are NOT the same thing). If you have a crush on a guy, merely having a crush would be enough if you didn’t want a man or were still in middle school and too young to date; but if you are interested, consensual adults, and the both of you are single, why not let him know that you’re interested? Just because he hasn’t approached you, doesn’t mean he hasn’t been checking you out.
So how does a lady subtly show a man she’s interested? Take notes.
Alone for Valentine’s Day? Don’t fret! But don’t embarrass yourself either, madame. AOL Black Voices has a list of V-Day Don’ts for all the single people in the building. Are you guilty of some of this not-so-cute behavior?