Shopping isn’t as fun as it seems folks. Well, that is, it’s not very much fun if you’re someone who needs to do more saving than spending–like me. While something might say it’s on sale and seem like such an awesome investment, I think we can all attest to the fact that shopping guilt is a b***h, and so is the interest that accumulates when you shop with a credit card because you just HAD to have those heels. Sale or no sale, sometimes it’s best to just listen to the voice in our head that tells us we need to put those heels or that leather jacket back. I often walk around the store with an item while I keep looking and ask myself the following questions to figure out if the item is something I really have to have. It might help you too:

Do You Already Have Something Like This in Your Closet?

Hey, you know yourself and you know your taste. That’s probably why when you go to the store, you find yourself attracted to the same kind of clothes over and over. Sure, you already have a pair of nude pumps, however, you don’t have THOSE nude pumps sitting pretty on the box in front of you at DSW. But you really need to ask yourself if you have something similar already awaiting you at the house. Why go broke buying identical pieces and accessories when you know in your heart that you rarely put on those nude heels in the back of your closet. Go ahead and step back from that box…

Where Will You Wear This and WHEN?

Just yesterday I almost lost my mind over a pair of black wedge heels by Calvin Klein. They were leather, with an espadrille-style heel that was an interesting mix of black and green (and green is my favorite color). Unfortunately for me, I was shopping with my sister, who is more about giving compliments than giving me the real deal and pushing me to not to buy something (“And you know how you love green!”). But I thought to myself, girl, it’s about to be hot outside. Am I really going to wear black leather wedge heels when it gets hot and I want to throw on bright sundresses? And as cute as they were, I had to remind myself that I don’t like to wear the wedges I already have for more than a few hours. So why spend more money than I need to on something I’m only going to use a few times until the fall? Be realistic about the mileage you’re going to get out of these pieces you are salivating over, ladies.

Can You Really Afford This Item? And Outside of Using Credit I Mean…

Has anyone else’s credit card become a bigger burden than it should be? We all know that credit cards are in no way free money, but the way we’re willing to pull them out for things outside of an emergency and MUST haves (like furniture for your home, to fix your car, or to pay for a procedure at the doctor’s office) is amazing. If you know you will and can pay the credit card company back ASAP the full amount you are about to spend for those shoes, then swipe away. But if you know this will just become another expense to increase your debt, rack up interest, and give you good ‘ol shopper’s guilt, then you might want to pass.

Will Buying This Force You to Buy Something Else?

And by this I mean, using the old nude heels example, if you buy these shoes, will you then feel the urge to buy a dress or something that you feel will match those shoes? Often we get so mesmerized by things and buy them on a whim that we forget that we don’t have anything to match those shoes, or that dress, or that shirt–whatever. Then we end up in this complicated trap where we need to buy a whole outfit to make us feel more secure about our initial purchase. Ask yourself while you’re pondering your purchase if you have anything that you can wear with it or if buying it will create a chain reaction of purchases and unnecessary expenses. If so…drop it like it’s hot.

Are You Trying to Buy Something Just to Buy Something?

Does that pair of shoes really blow your mind? Are you as excited by that top when you try it on as you were when it was on the hanger? You definitely shouldn’t blow your money on things just to walk out the store with something. And if the item in your hands or that you’re trying on isn’t as fabulous as you thought it was going to be, that should be a huge sign that it needs to go.

Are You Being Real With Yourself?

Seriously, if you buy this item, do you really plan on using it often? If you know you could use a new pair of flats or heels for work and think you will wear them into the ground (in a good way), those purchases aren’t something you should necessarily feel guilty about. But if you know could really use that money to pay a bill rather than to pay for something you will only wear every once in a while, it could be in your best interest to opt out of purchasing them. Now, if something is hella cheap and comes off as a steal–why not? But just because you found a bag by Marc Jacobs on sale doesn’t mean you HAVE to have it. It might be a good price for a big label item ($200 for a bag that used to be $400), but not necessarily for your pockets and budget. Think about it folks…

More on Madame Noire!

• When Tweeting Goes Wrong: 6 Celebrity Scuffles & Screw Ups On Twitter
• Are You In Love With Being In Love? Reasons Why Being A Romantic Can Ruin You
• Star Wars: The Best Of Celebrity Feuds
• “Ask A Black Man” Episode 1: Life Of A Single Man (Extended Cut)
• Check Your Child: 8 Tips For Keeping Your Daughter Off The Pole
• Don’t Text Your Ex! Thing To Tell Yourself Before Picking Up The Phone
• Take It To The Floor: Maxi Dresses That Will Sweep You Into Spring
• Give & Take: Signs That You Are Too Much Of A Giver

By DaMonica Boone

We all have our moments where we find ourselves yelling at the top of our lungs to an adult as if they were our child, or becoming easily angered when something doesn’t go the way we planned. When you find yourself speaking to your friend or significant other in the tone your mother used to speak to you in, you might have to step back into your body and get yourself together. In fact, you might need to sit back and ask yourself if you are a control freak. Here are a few signs that might make you the modern day Cruella de Ville.

1. Planning everyone else’s life
If you find yourself making plans for someone else before he or she has the opportunity to opt out (this could include your partner), you’re probably a big fan of having things go the way you want them too often. For instance, you shouldn’t plan things for your friend or boo before you run it by them first. Now, they’re stuck feeling bad and are forced to attend because you’ve paid for something for the two of you or because they don’t want to hurt your feelings. Or worse, they don’t want to feel your wrath…

2. Monitoring someone’s moves
It’s okay to keep tabs on a friend if, you know, he or she is bad at managing time and you have plans together. If you two have something scheduled that you don’t want to miss, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind if you were on their toes to make sure things go as planned. But if you are monitoring a friend’s actions for the sake of yourself and to have something to tell them they should change, you might be a bit too controlling. You can’t make sure she’s ready by noon just because you want to be at the mall by 1 p.m. Things happen, and people aren’t always going to be ready at the drop of a hat. If you can’t handle a friend being a little late for things, you might want to go alone.

3. Speaking to people in the wrong tone
It’s normal to speak to others like you’re crazy when you’re upset by their actions, though I wouldn’t recommend doing it often… However, there are a few things that are never appropriate to say unless you are saying them to your children. Phrases such as “What did I just say???” and “You’re going to make me hurt you” are words that can get you in trouble if they are said to the wrong person, or any grown person for that matter. Calm down and speak to others like you would like to be spoken to.

4. The need to be in control
Everything can’t always go the way you want it to go, get done when you want it done, or be done how you want it to be done. Being in control is something everyone wants. No one likes the feeling of inferiority or not being in control of their situations. When the slightest thought of someone else being in control makes you feel as if your head is going to explode and you slowly start being overbearing, you might be suffering from not only insecurity issues, but a large dose of control freak syndrome as well.

5. Your behavior affects your relationships
Being in control and always wanting to have things in order is a trait some people you know might respect, while others might loathe it. Your friends and family might love that part of you, but even cows get tired of milk. You’re a control freak when your need to be in control is affecting those around you. If your mother is worried about you, you should be too. If you’re starting to annoy your best friend, maybe you should consider calming down. And if your attitude is affecting your significant other, you should try to be open to giving someone else a chance to be the one behind the wheel if you know what I mean. No one likes a control freak, and you can’t be in control all the time and butt heads with people all the time to have get it. Everyone needs someone else to get them together every now and then.

More on Madame Noire!

• When Tweeting Goes Wrong: 6 Celebrity Scuffles & Screw Ups On Twitter
• Are You In Love With Being In Love? Reasons Why Being A Romantic Can Ruin You
• Star Wars: The Best Of Celebrity Feuds
• “Ask A Black Man” Episode 1: Life Of A Single Man (Extended Cut)
• Check Your Child: 8 Tips For Keeping Your Daughter Off The Pole
• Don’t Text Your Ex! Thing To Tell Yourself Before Picking Up The Phone
• Take It To The Floor: Maxi Dresses That Will Sweep You Into Spring
• Give & Take: Signs That You Are Too Much Of A Giver