All Articles Tagged "side chick"
As someone who found herself captivated by season one of “Love & Hip Hop Atlanta,” I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t anxious for the premiere of season 2 this coming Monday. Like other fans of the show, I’ve been watching the super trailers promoting the return of some of the series’ most ratchet of characters, which of course includes Mimi Faust, Joseline Hernandez and the one and only Stevie J. At the conclusion of last season, it seemed as though Mimi was finally moving on from Stevie, and the love triangle between them was finally over. But as we see from some clips for the upcoming season, that may not be entirely true.
Even though it seems Mimi has moved on and found a new man, she has said in recent interviews that she can’t quite shake Stevie and that a part of her will always love him because of their 15-plus year history and because they have a daughter together. And Stevie J recently revealed that he loves and wants them both. I can see Stevie wanting his cake and eating it too, but after that revelation, I don’t see how either woman would want to deal with that. From Mimi’s standpoint, once Joseline was in the picture, I don’t understand how she could stay wrapped up in this love triangle as long as she did, but like most men and women who find themselves in this situation, sometimes it’s not about wanting to hold on to the love you share with the primary person at the center of the relationship (Stevie), it’s about wanting to “win” and beat out the “other” person (Joseline). The sad part is, sometimes the lines get blurred and it’s hard to figure out if you are indeed the main woman, or the “other” woman — especially if the man is sending mixed messages and leading you on.
Since the relationship between Mimi and Stevie has been on and off again for 15 years, it’s safe to say that she feels she is the “main woman,” so from Mimi’s standpoint, I understand wanting to try to fight and save the relationship. She has a lot of love and time invested, and any time a couple shares a child, I don’t feel anyone is necessarily wrong for wanting to salvage the relationship in order to keep the family together. However at some point you have to know when enough is enough and it’s time to throw in the towel, especially if you are being disrespected in the process. No matter how much a person wants to save a failing relationship, once a third party enters the picture, it’s time to consider your own feelings of self worth and not make yourself the victim anymore. This goes for the “other” woman as well.
Giving Joseline and other “other” women the benefit of the doubt, most women (and men) find themselves as the “third wheel” by accident. Maybe it’s because the primary person lied about their relationship status, or downplayed his or her relationship. Other times, the third party may have full knowledge that the primary person is in a relationship, but has somehow convinced herself that they are justified in continuing a relationship with the primary person anyway. If there is a strong attraction there, as well as a deep emotional attachment – whether it happened instantly or gradually, through deceit or full knowledge – everyone involved in a love triangle has a decision to make before they get to a dangerous place. The reality is each person is essentially satisfying their own needs and getting their own fulfillment without regard for anyone else – even if it’s only temporary. While Stevie J may look like the selfish one in this scenario, the women are just as selfish as he is because they are choosing to stay with a man who has told them both that they’re just passengers on his bus. He hasn’t made these women victims – they’re victimizing themselves.
The best thing to do for all involved is to really take stock of what it is that’s missing from their lives that landed them in a love triangle in the first place. The primary person, or the cheater, should be honest about what’s missing from the relationship that caused him or her to stray. This isn’t to justify his actions, but simply to communicate to his partner that either he is dissatisfied with the relationship or can’t fully commit to one person so that she has the choice to leave or stay. He or she must also be honest and selfless enough to end the relationship before bringing another person into it.
The partner, once he or she finds out that a third party has entered into the relationship, must be honest about why he or she would stay in such a disrespectful situation. Do you want to “win” or “beat” the other person, simply because you were there first? Or do you honestly feel that you and the primary person can actually heal after you’ve discovered an affair? Sometimes women feel that the affair can help shed light on what was wrong so they can fix things, when it fact, the plug should have been pulled on the dying relationship a long time ago…and now they’re just holding on because they’re afraid to be alone. So they stay and hope the “other woman” will go away nicely on her own.
Then there’s the “other woman,” the woman on the side who now feels vested and also wants to “win.” She too hopes to just “stick it out” and wait for the primary relationship to wrap up so that they can get on with their lives. But how often does that honestly happen? What the third party needs to understand is that usually, if he cheats with you, he’ll cheat on you as well. If you do “win” him, mainly because the main chick has decided to leave, is that how you really want to win? The novelty and newness of your affair will soon wear off, and you’ll be left wondering if you can trust the man that once cheating with you on someone else. Is it really worth it?
At the end of the day, it’s all about having self respect — no matter where you fall in the love triangle. How you got there doesn’t matter, intentional or not, but how you move forward is what will determine your character. Everyone in this situation has full control over their actions and behavior – and whether you’ve been cheated on, or are the person on the side, you can continue to make choices that will most likely lead to heartbreak, or you can step away from the love triangle and start a new life with someone more deserving of your affection. Everyone deserves to be loved and respected, but you can’t wait for someone to do that for you, and you certainly won’t find that with a borrowed lover. Love begins with self respect, and you’ll always come up empty if you sell yourself short.
Not long ago, MN posted a piece on things to look for in a man to determine if he’d make a good father. Well ladies, it’s your turn. Most men with baby mama drama are baffled when they procreate with the bride of Satan, claiming they had no idea she was crazy and deranged. Just like us, men can be blind to the crazy when they’re in love or most likely, lust. Maybe he would notice the red flags if he wasn’t so busy looking at the big butt and a smile. If you’re seeing a woman who has any of the following traits, make sure to wrap it up because she just might turn out to be a crazy baby mama.
Every day, women are plagued with thoughts of uncertainty with regard to their partner’s fidelity. Even the most secure women have times of vulnerability. We’re taught to trust our instincts but that lesson is challenged by forced logic, as we control our natural impulses in an effort to save face. No one wants to deal with being cheated on, but if the signs are there, maybe it’s time we wake up and smell the coffee. Don’t ignore these small but pretty clear signs.
The 2012 Republican presidential candidate pool is such a circus it reminds us more of a terrible reality show rather than suitable contenders for the highest office in the land. Enters Herman Cain, former CEO of Godfather Pizza, an alleged serial sexual harasser of women and apparently a philanderer. Herman’s latest “awe jeez not this Shyte again moment” came yesterday from his alleged mistress of 13 years, Ginger White. Ginger has outed Herman for his cheating ways, and by the time you read this she will probably have given a tell-all interview to Fox News. Said interview will be a serious blow to the Republicans coveted “black man,” who up until now has been pretty steady in the polls. For the record, Ginger is a racially ambiguous woman (some say she might be a fair-skinned black woman, not that it matters like THAT), which bodes well for Uncle Herman because we all know white America would flip their wig if Cain was sticking his hand in the prized cookie jar of Southern white women.
But enough about Herman Cain and his side show antics! His new blunder got me to thinking about how many men have been taken down by their notable side chicks, mistresses, jump offs — call them what you may. Who are some of the more standout mistresses that we’ve seen over the years? I took to my Twitter feed, asked around, and learned one thing very quickly: I better not put Alicia Keys or Gabrielle Union on this list, so I will tread lightly when talking about those young women, who are doing great things for the community might I add! Take a walk with me down the side chick hall of fame; you’ll see some familiar faces and some not so familiar ones, but they all have something in common: creeping with somebody else’s man.
Apparently Tiger Woods has a new girlfriend (not a sister might I add)! Which reminds me of something that happened when his whole fiasco was the only thing the media was feeding us. While I was walking to the train this last year I read a Daily News headline about our beloved Tiger, it said “this better be good.” I asked myself, ‘what better be good?’ obviously they were referring to the statement Tiger was to make regarding his infidelities and sex addiction rehabilitation (you remember that sham of a press conference).
But who really cared? Tiger’s situation was supposed to be a personal matter that was made public by our sensational media where a who’s who of who’s cheating is more important than the 2 wars we were in at the time or our crummy economy.
Tiger was clearly to blame but I’ll tell you who else is to blame, THE SIDE CHICK. It’s Tiger’s several side chicks that helped speed up his demise with the American public and his ex-wife. Many a side chick spent Valentine’s Day alone last month wishing she were the main girl. And for the cheating man who left them in their solitude, that brother created a ticking time bomb!
There are no morals in America anymore. It’s all about who gets who the fastest. With the history of our country, I wonder if we ever had morals ; but, that’s a topic for another day.
There used to be a sacred trust between a man and his mistress. Mistresses knew their role, they were number 2, never to be number 1. That’s it, end of story. They were happy to spend the little time they could with the man because they understood that they were not his priority. These women held themselves accountable for their actions because it was by choice that they were someone’s mistress.
In today’s sick world of cheating, the mistress has betrayed her lover, who is betraying his family. She’s really become more of a Robin Hood for (insert derogatory term for promiscuous woman). She steals from the rich, (women with a man) and gives to the poor. Meaning she takes the man, ruins his relationship with the wife and then he’s available to have more of the poor, bitter single women who are glad to have anyone to warm their beds at night. Note: All single women are not the poor, be imaginative with this analogy.
The side chick has become the cape crusader, she finds herself in the spots where men who have significant others frequent. She plots on her prey. She warms his insecurities; she’s an ear for his troubles in his failing relationship or marriage. In fact, I say that the mistress is the largest perpetrator of all. She betrays the man with whom she’s built this superficial relationship and she betrays her women kind by manipulating their possible weakness as a mate.
Oh it’s a dirty world out there and I for one believe that we have to fight these masked avengers. We must declare war on the women who spill the beans and ruin families creating a cycle of cheating men and bitter women.
I have the solution to cure men of the wicked side chick. One solution is for single men to act like they’re in relationships thus tricking the sneaky side chic into thinking she has a victim when truly she will be the victim. Yes I challenge single men to strike back for the sake of cheating men everywhere and bruise the sneaky side chic’s ego so much that she thinks it necessary to turn to women. We don’t need those types of scavengers hiding themselves amongst the good women who have the potential to be a wife.
But the greatest solution of all is this. My brothers we have to stop cheating. Yes we must release ourselves from the desires of our loins and chase the devil and his side chick apprentice away. There’s a war going on outside no man is safe from and the side chick is winning. You can defeat her but first you must deny her. Death to the side chick! Ladies you can help us fight this battle, if you have friends who are happy side chicks you must first try and convince her of the error of her ways. If that doesn’t work you have to discontinue the friendship, together we will banish side chicks into obscurity and they will change their ways.