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I spent a good chunk of my undergrad years trying to keep up appearances with my girlfriends. We would take our tiny work study checks and hit the malls for a higher pair of heels, a sexier club outfit, one more lip color to add to our collections. We would go all out for college parties and save our bus fare and head to the city to go clubbing like we had money to burn.

I thought THAT was having fun. And don’t misunderstand, I did enjoy it. But after a few months – those bottle poppin’ nights out started to run together. Monotony now had a tangible definition. The same old thing with the same old people at the same old time in the same old places. I had nothing new to look forward to.

I was keeping myself confined to one kind of experience. My world was enclosed to materialism as its highlight. There was no room for anything bigger than that. I couldn’t see beyond what I believed to be a good time. With every little bit of money I got, I was financing myself into a materialistic rut. With every new bag and every new pair of shoes I kept thinking, “There has GOT to be more than this.”

In October of 2008 I rode a plane for the first time to a student affairs conference in Dallas, Texas. The moment we ascended completely above the clouds was the moment I knew things would never be the same for me. I had tasted flight! I had finally gotten out of the East Coast at 22 years old. I had met others from all over the world. This was the ‘more to life’ that I had been craving and I wanted more of it. I started looking for any and every opportunity to travel, to meet new people, to experience new places and things.

My money wasn’t going toward shoes and lipsticks anymore. I was working to finance my involvement in charity events, trips all over the country, Broadway shows, live music festivals – anything, everything that would give me another perspective, a deeper appreciation, an unforgettable memory.

When we limit our experiences to the same old thing we deny ourselves the joy and wonder of the unknown. I have spent what most would consider an obscene amount of money on the arts, travel, charity work, etc. investing in experiences that will last me a lifetime. There was only so much of a new experience I could have at a party or taking pictures with my girls in our new ‘fits at the club. But helping to build a home for a mother of four? Experiencing The Phantom of The Opera live? Traveling the peaceful mountains and countryside of Pennsylvania by myself? Completing an obstacle course in the air? Running a 5K for cancer research? Singing with a slammin’ jazz band at one of the hottest spots in DC?

Life changed the day I decided to look beyond THINGS and invest in experiences. There is a whole world outside of “Red Bottoms,” iPhones, and Cliquot. How much more of a well-rounded, self-aware and cultured community might we become if we search for opportunities to experience something new? I don’t think we’ll have as many regrets. We won’t look back and wonder “What if?” as much. We’ll have worlds beyond games and iPads to share with our children. Every experience counts. And while shoes and bags are great, long-lasting memories and lessons learned are so much better. You won’t regret it. I know I don’t.

La Truly writing is powered by a lifetime of anecdotal proof that awkward can transform to awesome and fear can cast its crown before courage. La seeks to encourage thought, discussion and change among young women through her writing. Follow her on Twitter: @AshleyLaTruly and AboutMe: www.about.me/latruly

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Mother’s Day is almost here, a great time to continue to celebrate the great loves of our lives: our mothers. While mothers and grandmothers are being celebrated, let’s not forget to acknowledge the moms-to-be this Spring!

Wish the expectant mother-to-be in your life a great pre-Mother’s Day on her behalf with a great gift to help her along her pregnancy, and to let her know that she’s celebrated too!

And here’s some more Mother’s Day help, here, and here.

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First dates, or dates in general, can be nerve wrecking, anxious, and exciting all at the same time. For many of us, we are going out with a guy we are actually interested in and want to make a good impression. For the rest, maybe it’s just for a free meal. Either way, there are always a lot of things to think about before you go out on with someone. Like these 14 things.

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The backseat of my car is an Elephant Graveyard made of very expensive, very beautiful shoes. In the recessed space directly behind the driver’s seat you will find the discarded remains of shoes of every stripe – heels, flats, peep toes and tennis – and it’s getting kind of ridiculous. Every time I change from work shoes to riding boots, or from my Tom’s to club shoes, the pair that I had on first gets chucked behind me in the car. If I have to take them into the office with me they usually get wrapped up in a Target bag. My friends know what a mess I am, especially when it comes to shoes so most of the time they roll their eyes at me. Sometimes they ask though, “Why don’t you just put them where they belong?”

Because, ain’t nobody got time fuh that!

Most days I carry two or three bags (purse, lunch, laptop bag) to the office. Usually I’m scrambling to get out of the house in the morning, so everything is tossed into my ‘bags’ as I jet out the door to keep from missing a morning meeting. Needless to say a lot of times I feel like a bag lady, word to Badu. So when I was asked to check the ShoeAlong, a fancy footwear carrier that slips over your purse, my first thought was ‘yeah right.’  For one thing, I’m the type of girl who’d rather throw shoes into one of those huge plastic Sterilite bins than install a California Closet.  For another, I’m super hard on my stuff.

However.

I was low-key high-key impressed with the ShoeAlong. It’s made of neoprene (the fabric used for lunch bags and water bottle covers), so it was incredibly lightweight but sturdy. The one I got was black, with a pretty lavender lining on the inside. This is important because I love pastels, but I am also messy and having a black outside means it won’t get dirty quickly. I slipped some of my ‘lightly broken in’ busted down work flats to give it a whirl. Luckily it was big enough to fit my shoes, and there were cool little snaps that kept each shoe in its own compartment that kept them from jostling around.

So here’s how it works: there is a band that slips the ShoeAlong over your purse handle. So easy and quick.  It’s pretty sleek too, and the neoprene fabric helped shoe smells inside the bag, instead of wafting out into the open. It was nice to have an actual space to put my shoes and I didn’t get the sideways glances that usually accompanied my grocery bag shoe carriers.  And after using it for a few days, the pile of shoes behind my driver’s seat slowly began to deplete because I was actually taking my shoes inside instead of letting the chill in my car. Definitely an improvement.

So what do you think? Would you give the ShoeAlong  a shot?

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Read any blog, check any fashion site and you will almost always see someone say, “If I could just rock the Halle ____.”

Well, get ready because there is a chance you may be able to get a piece of Halle Berry in your closet.

According to EURweb, the actress will soon be coming out with her own shoe line. Berry will be working with Germain retailer Deichmann Shoes to release some shoes in line with what the Cover Girl would rock on her feet.

The line, “5th Avenue by Halle Berry” are described as being fashionable yet comfortable shoes bound to fit the lifestyles of all women (soccer moms, working moms, corporate women, fashion savvy women, etc…).

Halle, being a fashionable, busy and working mom, knows that there are often two things really important to women: their hair their shoes.

“Women have always loved shoes. It’s like if your hair is not right and your shoes are not right, the woman is not right. If both of them are right, you’re pretty much OK”

5th Avenue by Halle Berry will consist of 40 limited edition designs and will starting being available by the end of the month.

Another upside? The shoes will start at $60. Now, we don’t know what those shoes will look like but with only 40 pairs, the prices likely won’t get too far out of hand if you see a pair you like.

The possible down side? The shoes are only being released in the UK. There’s been no word from Deichmann Shoes as to whether or not they’ll be available to order online and ship to the United States.  If not, I guess we’ll just be looking at pictures online.

Good for Halle. This sounds like it was possibly something really fun for her to do!

Would you buy a pair if you saw some you liked?

Photo Credit: C.M. Wiggins/WENN.com

Keyshia Cole wasn’t playing when she told Z HipHop Cleveland that Oprah and Iyanla Vanzant are about the only people who could possibly fix what seems to be her irrevocably broken relationship with her sister, Neffe.

As you know, Neffe just penned a memoir titled, “The Price I Paid,” which is said to be a story about her struggles, sacrifices, and poor choices — like the reality show she had with her mother, Frankie. But it would appear there’s also quite a bit in the book about her troubled relationship with Keyshia because the singer went all the way off on Twitter, calling her sister nothing but a leach and a couple b-words too.

How many of y’all have leaches in your own family? I need to know I’m not alone!

B***h talk about me in ya book and wearing the shoes I gave u on the cover? F**king Bogus!

If it wasn’t for my name, people making money off that alone. They would have the courage to say they just don’t like me

I’m convinced

I see I gotta take it bak to the days when I used to slap a b***h tho!

Remember guys, Fakes b***hes come a dime a dozen! Real ones are hard to find. Hold on to good ones when ya get em. Time is the only informer

Well damn. As much as this may not have been a forum for disgruntled family relations, it is sort of messed up to be dogging the person who sort of made the book possible in the first place — as well as her fashionable cover. But then again, does giving your family money mean they can never speak ill of you?

Meanwhile on the other side of the Twitter pond, Neffe kept it classy once she saw her sister’s tweets, responding with:

I am very great full to have wore a pair of shoes for my book cover that was given to me what a blessing:) God is so amazing

I am also grateful for my supporters and fans family and peers who have bought my book and made sure I know about it:) thank u# u rock

I.e. I’m letting my haters be my motivators.

Without knowing what Neffe wrote in the book, it’s hard to pick a side here, but these are the shoes of contention on Neffe’s book cover. Thoughts on all this?

From StyleBlazer

Just in case you’ve been living under a rock, ankle booties are IN this upcoming season and the higher they are the better! Available in just about any fabric under the sun, they are both versatile and comfy. Ankle booties are also a great way to transition your wardrobe from summer to fall. We found must-have looks that will keep you in step with Autumn’s hottest trends. Shoe envy will ensue, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Read more at StyleBlazer

More on Madame Noire!

• Wait, How Did You Get That Role? 14 Of The Crappiest Casting Calls in Black Films and TV
• What’s Up With The Egg Freezing Reality TV Fad?
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• Romantic, Cheesy or Somewhere In Between? 7 Corny Moves People Think Are Romantic
• I Know You Didn’t Just Say Dutch: Why Women Should NOT Split The Tab On A First Date
• Did You Know They Dated (Part IV)? 14 Celeb Couples We Were VERY Surprised By

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From Hello Beautiful

Adding on to her “superwoman” status, Alicia Keys has decided to make her foray in to sneaker design. The “Girl On Fire” singer has teamed up with Reebok to remix the Freestyle Hi shoe, a.k.a the 5411′s, as well as Reebok’s Freestyle Double Bubble, Classic Nylon Slim and Princess.  Quite a coincidence since her hubbie Swizz Beats already designs for the retail giant (catch the sarcasm there).

The collection retails for $80 and comes in a few different styles embellished with the NY skyline, funky studs, colorful tribal and piano artwork. To celebrate the launch, Reebok will air the campaign video during the MTV Video Music Awards.

Check out the shoe designs and retail locations for the collection on HelloBeautiful.com.

More on Madame Noire!

• Bet You Didn’t Know: Secrets Behind the Making of “Baby Boy”
• An Open Letter To Women Who Get Dressed Up And Go To Lounges To Stand Around And Mean Mug: Stay Home!
• Ladies, Beware Of The “Homie” Box
• Just Another Sad Love Song: The Soundtrack to My Love Life
• When Keeping It Swirl Goes Wrong: Why Are Black People Obsessed With Interracial Dating?
• Z-Phi, Sooo Sweet! 11 Celeb Members of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc.
• Did You Know!? 9 Our Favorite Celebs of Cuban Descent (And Some Surprises!)

For decades women have been taking fashion cues from their male counterparts, creating an androgynous sensibility that has since become very popular today. From Katherine Hepburn in the 1930’s, to the Le Smoking suit created by fashion giant, Yves Saint Laurent—women all over have been embracing menswear into their daily wardrobes. More and more we’re seeing men’s inspired suits walk down the runways during fashion week. Let’s not forget a few of our beloved wardrobe staples: a boyfriend jean and cardigans. And now with the rise of the oxford trend, we’re adopting men shoe trends.  Clearly we’re not only wearing the pants, but we’re also walking in the shoes.  Here are a few of our favorite menswear-inspired footwear options for this fall season.

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Net-a-Porter.com

Trends are such a tricky thing: we get all attached to a particular style, only to have it be out of vogue the following season! Luckily, there are some trends that make the cut year after year. Dying to know if that spiked pump you bought last fall will still be hot this year? Check out some of these fierce footwear picks from the shoe trends that will be returning for fall, and see if your favorite makes the cut.

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