All Articles Tagged "sex"
Ring? Check. Career? Check. Baby? Not so fast. Having a baby is a huge commitment, and definitely not one to be taken lightly. It is important that you and your significant other are on the same page when it comes to parenting styles and that you as a woman are ready to shift into motherhood mode.
Before the baby bump, now is the time to go on that exotic vacation, drive that sports car and drink as much wine as possible.
Make sure that bucket list gets a few more checks before your life becomes all about that little bundle of joy, and enjoy your partner as much as possible while it’s still just the two of you. Check out our checklist of 20 things to do before having a baby.
Read more life before motherhood at StyleBlazer.com
A recent study of 130 British teenagers claims most teens are being pressured into performing anal sex. Shockingly enough, male teens are also claiming to not enjoy the experience as much. Reason being, they felt the physical act did not live up to their expectations. Published in the BMJ Journal, the study noted, “young men in the study were often keen on the idea of anal sex, but were sometimes unenthusiastic about the physical reality,” the researchers said. For example, one interviewee said: “I thought it was going to be a lot better to be honest.”
The teen girls who were interviewed revealed they were often coerced into participating in anal sex. Both genders relayed to the study’s organizers that the action of performing anal was to increase their social status among their peers.
Despite that reasoning, the girls in the study did note they felt others looked down upon them if it was exposed that they did participate in anal. Besides teens engaging in anal sex for social status, the study more disturbingly revealed these adolescents don’t use protection when performing the act because they were unaware they could contract STIs from anal sex. Live Science notes that when condoms were used during anal, it was for hygienic reasons rather than fir the purpose of safe sex. Another disturbing find was teen girls confessing they don’t feel they have a say in the sexual experiences they engage in. Cosmopolitan reports, “though they worry that trying anal might be uncomfortable for them, they consistently reported that the boys have the final say.”
Live Science says the fascination with anal sex comes from teens wanting to mimic what they see in pornography. The study’s lead author, Cicely Marston, stated:
“Current debates about young people’s sex lives often seem to focus narrowly on the impact of porn. But our study suggests we need to think more widely about the lack of importance society places on women’s rights, desires and concerns.”
Given Marston’s quote, it seems adults are not that far off from teens. The study’s outcomes parallels most of the issues adult women face as well. What do you think about this study?
By Amanda Chatel, From YourTango
I’m always quick to admit that my first time was a bust. Granted, losing one’s virginity is never as great as the sex you’ll have in the future, but the range of awkwardness can be pretty extreme. Let’s be honest: we all have weird, funny, and embarrassing stories about our first time. I’ve yet to meet someone who’s ever said their first time was magical and involved orgasm after orgasm. Have you?
We asked a few ladies their thoughts on their first time. Was it awkward like the majority of loss of virginity stories? Painful and bloody? Or something gloriously unforgettable. Here’s what they had to say.
The blood! The pain!
“My first time was excruciating. I thought I was going to die. I went to ballet the next day and I thought I wouldn’t make it through. Seriously excruciating. Almost more painful than my cyst rupturing. I was wondering why people liked it, and the guy was super genteel, too,” says Autumn, 25.
Read more about women and their first time at YourTango.com
By Coach Ronnie Ann Ryan, From YourTango
Everyone gets a little nervous on a first date. That’s why many singles think a drink seems like a good idea. A little alcohol can steady your nerves and give you a shot of confidence. But as a dating coach for women over 50, I wonder if drinking too much on a date can be keeping you from getting more second dates.
According to a new study conducted by DatingAdvice.com, it turns out that seniors aged 54- 64 are 32% more likely to hit the bottle on a first date than any other age group. I never would have guessed that myself. There could be several reasons why the over 50 crowd tend to indulge more frequently on a first date:
- Singles over 50 may not have dated for 20 or 30 years and feel they need a bit more courage than younger folks.
- Seniors may have more leisure time, so are more likely to sit back, relax and enjoy a drink or two.
- Midlife singles may have more disposable income and so patronize more upscale restaurants where having a nice glass of wine fits in with the experience.
For the most part, having a drink or two is not a big issue. If it helps you feel more comfortable and it adds to the ambiance of your first encounter, why not?
Read more on first date rules at YourTango.com
Oral sex tends to be right up there with well paying job when it comes to a man’s list of priorities, but “Married To Medicine’s” Dr. Simone Whitmore has an important piece of advice for women who are not too keen on going down on their man: it’s OK.
The OBGYN, and now reality star, surprised viewers when in season 2 of the Bravo series she told her castmates she rarely performs oral sex on her husband, and in an interview with Sister 2 Sister, Dr. Whitmore explained why her choice isn’t a death sentence for her relationship.
“The thing is, we are all different, and I’ve been married for 18 years. I love my husband; he still loves me. It’s important for women to know, whatever it is you feel comfortable with doing in the bedroom with your husband or not doing, it is okay. It is. It’s okay.”
If you’re mind immediately trailed to the thought, “what I won’t do another woman will,” kill it, Dr. Whitmore advised.
“The reality is, divorce is 50 percent in this country, and I know that there are women who are giving it to him uptown, downtown, sideways, flip it up, rub it, oh no, whose husbands or partners are still cheating on them. The most important message that I would tell any woman is look at you, work on you, love you and demand that he love you like you want to be loved and you can’t worry about the rest. No matter what you’re doing, even if you think you’re doing it all, there is another woman out there who’s willing to do more than you.”
Amen to that. It’s about time women were told to put their own desires and level of sexual comfort above a man’s. But do you think there are many husbands out there who’d be able to handle an oral-less marriage?
Ask a man what kind of sex tips they’d give women if they could, and wow. Is it me, or is it getting hot in here? We’ve been gathering (mostly) anonymous suggestions from men and the bottom line is, they want everyone to enjoy themselves. But you want more specific details than that, right? It’s not always easy for us to tell our partners exactly what we want. And I can’t promise your man wants everything on this list. But I think most of these tips will work for most couples.
Here’s what men would love more women to do in bed.
2. Tell them what you want and like. This one comes up a lot — they really, really want to know. “If it feels good,” one guy says, “‘reward’ him by letting him know it. Silence, holding your breath discourages him from it, and he’ll constantly change what he’s doing until he gets the reaction he is aiming for, so if you like what he’s doing, then let go and get into it.”
Read more sex tips from men at YourTango.com
Some people say one night stands never turn into anything else, but we don’t believe them. In the following 24 hours, you can leave several different types of impressions, including a lasting one! Here’s how.
Marsha Ambrosius recently spoke to Power 105.1′s “The Breakfast Club” about a time where she was the sidechick to a man who was in a relationship, which inspired her song, “Shoes.”
“‘Shoes,’ one from ‘Late Nights & Early Mornings,’ that next morning when I woke up, it was with someone I shouldn’t have been with only because the D was good,” Marsha explained. “I was only there because of that.”
“Wow, so you were the sidechick?” Charlamagne questioned.
“Absolutely. Unintentionally,” Marsha went on. “Not that I thought I was main. [He was] not even lying. I was just very selfish. I just wanted the D and that came with all of the consequences of me knowing that he possibly had someone else.”
“So you knew he may have possibly had someone else?” Charlamagne pressed.
“Oh yeah, telling me that they weren’t together anymore, they broke up, all this other sh-t.”
However, Marsha adds that she’s no dummy and that she can’t even hide behind the excuse that he was BSing her.
“We were BSing each other because you can’t BS someone for three years. Three years is too long to BS someone. So yeah, we were just doing it because we were doing it. Yeah, I was in. I had a toothbrush, panties, a drawer.
That’s why I say in the song, ‘It’s collecting your belongings,’ and realizing that those shoes don’t even belong to me because they’re not even my size. So I’m in someone else’s space. This isn’t my home, but I keep coming back here. Why? The D.”
As for when she ended things, Marsha says her situationship came to an end about two years ago.
Listen to Marsha’s full interview below.
Follow Jazmine on Twitter @JazmineDenise
Last week I had a conversation with my best friend of the opposite sex, playing catch up and trading stories as we often do. She told me about a friend of hers (we’ll call this friend Vee) and Vee’s latest failed attempt at dating. Vee was dating a guy and things went sour, and while a host of situations led to their eventual demise, the reason my friend and I had been cackling at the highest volumes known to man is because of the question Vee posed during their talk. Vee asked my friend: “would you keep dating a guy if the sex was bad?” to which my friend replied, “you’re asking ME this? ME? The woman who’s stopped dating guys she’s LIKED because the sex was bad?”At this point, laughter turned to tears as I replied, “she must’ve forgotten who she was talking to.” My friend, for as long as I’ve known her, has absolutely refused to be in a relationship with men who couldn’t satisfy her sexually. I thought this was common practice but I later found out that it’s not. So the question posed here is why do women settle for bad sex?
Relationships are complicated in that they can be as a simple as meeting the right person at the right time, or as difficult as trying to complete a rubix cube with one hand while blindfolded. Given our own dating histories, preferences, observations, and experiences, sex can either be the most/least important thing or fall anywhere in between. For some, sex isn’t a big deal. It’s just something to do to pass the time or please their partner and they’re apathetic to the feeling of orgasms or connecting with another person on a physical level. For others, sex within a relationship provides a safe haven where partners can express themselves freely. From an observational standpoint, most of the women I’ve seen complaining about having bad sex, yet still maintaining a relationship with their partner, fall into the latter category. Women who seem to crave orgasms the same way my girlfriend craves certain Jamaican dishes are steadfast in their refusal to leave their mates.
Women who settle for bad sex will point to any number of reasons for staying. The most frequent explanation (or excuse) I hear is, “he’s a good man and he has all these other great qualities. Why would I leave him just because the sex is bad?” It’s a legitimate question, even though I don’t understand it from a male perspective. It’s been said that women can’t go backward in lifestyle and men can’t go backward sexually. Meaning, once a woman is accustomed to a certain lifestyle or way of being treated by a man, she will no longer accept anything less than that. For men, once he’s been introduced to certain sexual acts and finds joy in them, he will no longer date a woman who won’t meet those same base desires.
I’m of the mind that while it can be challenging to find a mate, it’s not an impossible task. And while I’m aware of the “80/20 rule,” I’m not sure why sex would be involved in that “20.” My mind can’t fathom being with my girlfriend and suffering through fake orgasms, terrible fellatio, and having to look her in the face everyday knowing she can’t please me. It’s my belief if I’m suppose to be in a monogamous relationship and I’m only allowed to have sex with one person for the duration of the time I’m with said person, sexual compatibility would be at the top of the list — or damned closed to it.
So, ladies, hit the comment section and let me know. Would you stay in a relationship with a “good” guy if the sex wasn’t up to par? Have you ever stayed with a guy who couldn’t please you sexually and, if so, why? Lastly, where does sexual compatibility rank in terms of importance in relationships?
Some guys can be surprisingly clueless when it comes to sex. If he’s still making these beginner mistakes, it could be time to have that awkward conversation about why doing it with him just isn’t doing it for you.
Foreplay Is Always Necessary
Instant rip-your-clothes-off chemistry is rare. Women are just wired to warm up. But if he’s willing to put in the time it’s better for everyone involved.