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From YourTango

Our culture promotes sex everywhere from magazine covers to product advertisements. When sex sells, it sets us up to objectify ourselves and others. When we objectify someone, we really don’t see the other person. We lose out on the most intimate loving parts of a relationship and we look to magazines, books and blogs to help us get the relationship we’ve always wanted. What we fail to realize is that the best person to consult about our beauty is ourselves.

When a person owns her innermost self — and is happy with who she is — she projects a beauty radiating with confidence. People naturally are drawn to those who make them feel good. Healthy sexuality and intimacy is about having the courage to love and be loved in return. Here are some ways in which people benefit from sex:

Having a healthy attitude about your sexuality promotes beauty from within. Experts say, “a sexually healthy person is someone who feels comfortable with his or her sexuality.” This means, a person doesn’t view s*x as something naughty, bad, improper or sinful and can engage in it without feeling guilty or anxious. When you’re comfortable with who you are on the inside, your attractiveness is infectious on the outside. Others want to be around you and have what you have.

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Men can be vocal about what they want from their significant others, sometimes expecting them to anticipate their needs or indulge their desires. Yet, they don’t always express what they would like to do with their partners. So, here’s a list of things that your man might like to do with you, in regards to entertainment, sex, and hobbies, that you might not have thought of.

Skin Ink

When love seems eternal, some men like to signify that by having the both of you mark one another with a token of affection, like an image or name written on the other person’s body. The latter idea is kind of a terrible idea, so even if your man doesn’t want you to tattoo his lips on your hips, or put his initials on your body,  a lot of men simply enjoy getting tattoos with their significant other and hitting up the tattoo parlor together for a quick thrill.

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The weekend is here! So it’s time to catch up on some zzzs.

You might not realize it, but getting enough sleep can impact many areas in your life, from how you make every day decisions to your financial stability. If you are too tired to do even the tasks on a daily basis, or more high-level ones like completing a project, you are probably too tired to make wise decisions physically, mentally and financially. Ultimately, your sleep habits and practices could end up making you sluggish, burnt out… or even poor. Don’t believe it? Click through.

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Have you been getting the, “Not tonight” line a lot lately? We won’t sugarcoat it: it is weird for a physically healthy male to be turning down easy, available sex. And you might be causing his lack of libido, without knowing it. Here’s How:

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From Essence

Dear Abiola,

I’m in love and having sex with two men. I’m in a web and don’t know my way out.  

I have never been a woman that cheats or really understood why people do it. I was with a man I gave my all to for six years. I was there when everyone turned their backs on him, emotionally, physically and financially. Oh, by the way, I’m 33 and he is 42. He has done some things that most women would fall apart over. He cheated repeatedly and has been caught in lies. I thought I had gotten over the things he did but I would find myself looking at him in disgust and hating him.

Last year, I had enough. I started a friendship with someone that gave me everything. He made me feel like I was the best thing on earth. I started to cheat emotionally and then it became sexual. I left my ex for him. Now we have been in a relationship for almost a year but I cannot let my ex-boyfriend go. I miss him so much that it kills me. I have gone to see him and we speak on the phone, and now I’m cheating on this good man I have at home that gives me everything.

I find myself in love with two men, one that I know is toxic and the other who just leaves me speechless with happiness. I’m more confused than anything. I have tried to speak to my girlfriends but I just can’t seem to get the words out. 

What do I do before this gets out of control?

Signed,

Split

Read the advice relationship coach Abiola gave on Essence.com.

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There will always be debates on how to show a man you’re worthy of him keeping you around by doing certain things. I’m not too sure what works and what doesn’t work in terms of making a man stick around and showing him you’re not just wifey material but should be his wife. What I do know is,  you should’t knock it until you try it and do what you feel is appropriate because every man– and woman — is different. Check out some of the most notable “make him keep you” advice around. What’s worked for you and what hasn’t?

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As suave as you and your partner(s) surely are, everybody’s been subject to some mood-ruining moments in the bedroom. Just know that you’re not alone.

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Drake hasn’t done much press in a while but on Friday night, he dropped in on Elliott Wilson’s show at East Village Radio (EVR for short) and gave what was a really good interview.  l Miss Info was cool enough to post it in its entirety.

For quite some time, Drake and Wilson discussed music in terms of where Drake is in the recording process for his new album (he’s actually dropping two singles next wee), if he’s working with new producers and how he feels about other artists and particularly, how he tends to “open his door” to new artists and give them a platform.

Awesome, right? It actually was.  Well, within the last 15 minutes, Wilson started talking to Drake about how he hates the “dog and pony show” of listening parties and interviews and the media “entrapment.” Wilson mentioned how when Chris Brown goes on interviews, people always ask him about Drake. Drake, very casually, responded:

“Don’t ask me s–t about that man when I come up there (“there” being at a media outlet for interviews). And leave than man alone. Stop preying on his insecurities. His insecurities are the fact that I make better music than him. That I’m more poppin’ than him. And at one point in life th woman he loves fell in my lap.  I did what a real —– would do and treated her with respect.”

Welp, there it is!  Drake acknowledged that they do have a problem and either it’ll work itself out or not but that the media won’t get “anything” out of a rap battle between them because Drake “does this for real and actually good at it.” Wilson was rapping it up by saying “…yeah, you we don’t need that situation and Drake added, “I’m not thinking about that man or that girl.”

There were no subliminal messages there, folks.  They don’t like each other but Drake believes that the media (and probably his own fans) hype everything up and make situations bigger than they really are.

So what’s next? Talking about each other’s mothers?  Am I instigating? Sure but he did the interview and wanted people to talk so I think this is an even trade.

Check out the “messiest” part of the interview below:

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It takes two to tango in the bedroom. We often read about the mistakes that men or women make when it comes to sex, but in the end, a sexual relationship involves two people. When a relationship starts to slip or when things just don’t seem to be as exciting and fun as they once were, often times the problems lie between the sheets. Many relationships start off with an amazing and anxiety-filled bedroom life, and overtime things become dull and almost expected. Here are 14 most common bedroom mistakes that couples make.

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From YourTango

By Mary Jo Rapini

There has been a series of news stories about female teachers having sex with their students. Almost every state in the United States is reporting similiar cases, and everyone is asking the same question: Why? In 2004, the United States Department of Education reported that 40 percent of perpetrators of unwanted sexual attention toward children were women and that number has steadily risen over the past nine years.

To understand why a female teacher would become sexually involved with one of her students, you have to understand what is going on in her head. Most of these women appear to be vibrant, normal, healthy adult women, but they may feel like teenagers themselves inside. Many of them have arrested emotional development; they giggle and carry on very much as a teenager. What’s strange is that they choose one aspect of the student they focus on and they idealize that aspect into being one of honesty, integrity and innocence — separate from the jadedness of the adult world.

Soon they see this teenager as being their age, like a peer. In psychology, this is frequently seen and is called “counter-transference”. The teacher focuses on one aspect of the child and idealizes it romantically; she then projects that on to her distorted reality. No one else realistically sees what the teacher has created in her mind. It becomes so bizarre that soon the teacher is planning her married life with kids after her student finishes high school.

One thing to consider is that we — as the public — tend to focus on the sex part of this relationship because that’s what ultimately leads to the arrest of the teacher. However, an emotional relationship usually develops long before sex take places. That is, the grooming, the meeting up, the numerous texts, the cute hand-written love letters and the sleepless nights. If an intervention is made at this time, you can end the relationship before sex takes place — getting help for the child and taking legal action against the teacher.

Read more on YourTango.com.