All Articles Tagged "sex"

Selfie Stick Allows Your Vagina To FaceTime With Your Boo

March 4th, 2015 - By Lauren R.D. Fox
Share to Twitter Email This
Selfie Stick Allows Your Vagina


Because we’re taking our selfie obsession too far, a company called LoveHoney is selling the Svakom Gaga Camera Vibrator, a vibrator and endoscopy “love child” that allows couples to Facetime with selfies of a woman’s genitalia. At four inches, the Gaga Camera Vibrator also allows users to upload steamy footage of a woman achieving an orgasm to PCs and smartphones.

According to LoveHoney, “It allows users to get to know their body in its entirety thanks to the remarkably clear footage this camera captures.Thanks to its FaceTime compatibility, sharing the view with your lover couldn’t be easier – whether you’re sat right next to each other or miles apart.”

Gaga Vibrator Camera costs £119.99 ($184.30) and, surprisingly enough, people are ordering this product like it’s going out of style. On their website, one reviewer of the product shared:

“This is a vibrator that beats all the rest with its inbuilt technology. This toy has a camera on the tip and allows you to upload your recordings on your PC or directly to FaceTime. Wow, is all I can say. I was super excited when I purchased this toy. Once it was charged initially, it was ready for use. The camera is such good quality and the light round the tip picks up everything – be warned! There are multiple settings on this vibrator and it is easy to control, although the lower settings are extremely powerful. I haven’t needed to use the higher ones. This toy is so much fun. It is so sleek. While rigid, it feels so perfect. It is my ultimate Sex Toy and I intend to use it over and over. This is technology at its best.”

Well then!

Do you think this product has crossed the line or do you plan on purchasing your own Gaga Camera Vibrator? Check out its infomercial, below.

via The Independent

Serious Question: Would You Still Sleep With Your Ex Husband?

February 24th, 2015 - By Veronica Wells
Share to Twitter Email This


Source: Shutterstock

Source: Shutterstock

Indiana sports fans will never forget Stephen Jackson’s name. You may remember he was one of the Indiana Pacers involved in the now infamous (and arguably justified) Malice at The Palace brawl when a Detroit Pistons fan threw beer, chairs and other things on him and his teammates while he was on the court.

But now, his name is in the headlines once again, this time for a more personal matter. Jackson has asked a judge to dismiss his wife’s petition for a divorce because he’s still blowing her back out.


Naw, he didn’t say that. I’m just very fond of that phrase. But the general message is still the same. In legal documents obtained by TMZ, Jackson said that the judge shouldn’t grant the divorce because his wife, Renata Jackson, is just attempting to collect a prenup payout even though they still do the things married couples do.

Jackson says that under the terms of their prenup, the payout she’d receive would be based on his net worth at the time when she initially filed for divorce in 2013. He was playing in the NBA at the time so the sum to be dispersed would be much greater than his current net worth, now that he’s left the league.

Jackson’s documents state that the marriage wasn’t over when she filed in 2013 and isn’t over now because they’re still having sex…on a regular.

Not only are they having sex, Jackson, who married Renata in 2009, said that they still take vacations together. They’ve been to the Bahamas, Cancun and Jamaica.

In the documents, Jackson’s attorney concluded “Despite filing for divorce, [Renata] continued her relationship with [Stephen] in an effort to ‘have her cake and eat it too.'”

I don’t know what is truly motivating Renata but, unlike several of the commenters on the TMZ article, I was not surprised by the fact that she is still sleeping with her estranged husband.

It happens all the time. If you watched “Married At First Sight,” you saw Vaughn and Monet bicker and fight with each other all throughout the day only to get it all the way in once they went to bed. Despite their sexual chemistry, they still ended up getting a divorce.

There was a whole movie, starring Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin, where a divorced couple couldn’t seem to stop having sex with each other, though they both knew a relationship between the two of them would never work out.

My own mother, in a rather random moment of confession, told me and my sister that should she and my father ever get divorced, she would still have sex with him. Primarily because she knows him and he knows her and she wouldn’t be ready or even interested in building and sharing that type of intimacy with another person.


While I’ve never been married, I can understand the mentality. We all know sex doesn’t equal love. And, to take it a step further, loving someone doesn’t mean you should be together. So with that in mind, I can certainly see how a woman would want to continue sleeping with the man she loved, knew and was comfortable with, even if the relationship is over on paper.

It doesn’t make the best sense in the context of healing and moving on but we’ve all done some pretty stupid things either the name of love or in the name of scratching an itch.

And in the instance of Stephen and Renata Jackson, it doesn’t seem like either one of them really want a divorce. It would be one thing if Renata was just letting Stephen get a little goodbye taste every once in a while; but the fact that she’s vacationing with dude, makes me think a part of her wants to work it out. Do you know how terrible it is to vacation with someone you can’t stand?!

It’s torture.

As for Stephen, even though he claims that Renata is just trying to get at his money, he still doesn’t want the judge to grant her a divorce.

These two are funny. And hopefully they come to some type of agreement.

But back to you, would you consider sleeping with an ex or an estranged husband?

The Difference Between Sexual Preference, A Fetish, And Paraphilia

February 20th, 2015 - By TaMara Griffin
Share to Twitter Email This

Source: Shutterstock

Does the site of a pair of sexy stilettos give a “sensual” yet familiar tingle throughout your body from head to toe? Does the smell of latex give you what can only be described as an “uncontrollable” urge to be naughty? Does the stroke or thought of fur against your skin give you an immediate spark followed by a furious flame of seduction? Does the mere thought of “edge play” repeatedly ignite an unimaginable and electrifying sexual charge you know where? If dressing up, role play and/or any of the above equals a formula for getting you “wet,” welcome to the fascinating and stimulating world of sexual fetishism!

The term “fetishism,” coined in the late 1800s, originates from the Portuguese word feitico, meaning “false power.” The word fetish is defined as an object believed to have supernatural powers, or in particular, a man-made object that has power over others. Essentially, fetishism may be classified as the attribution of inherent value or powers given to an object by an individual. The terms “erotic fetish” and “sexual fetish” were first introduced by Alfred Binet in 1887.

Sexual fetishism is characterized as intense sexually arousing fantasies, desires, urges, or behaviors in which an inanimate object (e.g., shoes, rubber, fur, body parts, environment) is used in a sexual manner or for stimulation or sexual pleasure. The object or stimulant of desire is called the fetish, the person who has a fetish for that object/stimulant is called a fetishist. In general, fetishists will incorporate the object of their sexual desire into their sex play by seeing, smelling, touching, rubbing, tasting or handling the object of arousal. In some cases, the fetishists may be unable to get erections, have an orgasm, or experience any sexual pleasure without the presence of the desired object or fetish.

The cause of fetishistic behavior as a pattern of sexual gratification cannot be explained easily. There are a variety of theories for what causes fetishes. Most of these theories point to a person’s childhood developmental experiences in which an object was associated with a particularly powerful form of sexual arousal or gratification. However, there’s no “evidence” that points to a single explanation and this cause alone. As with many variations of sexual expression, there is a thin line of distinction between fetishism and one’s sexual preferences. On one end there is the compulsive, fixated fetishist and at the other end is the person who uses a sexual aid or may be particularly aroused by certain body parts, but does not depend on those things to achieve sexual satisfaction.

Not long ago, fetishism was thought to be a psychiatric or medical disorder of sexual preference. However, in more recent years, many clinicians and practitioners agree that a fetish can be an element of enhancement to any relationship, causing a more satisfying and stronger sexual bond between the partners. If a fetish causes significant psychosocial distress for a person or has detrimental effects on important areas within their daily life, a diagnosis of paraphilia may be given if the clinical criteria is met. Still today there are arguments on whether the specific diagnosis of fetishism is relevant. Some clinicians and practitioners demand that the diagnosis be abolished completely to eliminate the stigmatism of fetishism.

Fetishism can be a natural variation of one’s healthy sexual expression as long as it doesn’t cause distress to the individual and/or the relationship or cause disruptions and impairment to the daily functional areas of one’s life. If an individual finds this to be the case, they may want to consult their personal physician and/or seek the advice of a sex therapist, or counselor.


CatalystCon PicDr. TaMara loves nothing more than talking about sex! At the age of 13, she told her mother she wanted to be a Sex Therapist! Her passion is deeply rooted in spreading messages about healthy sexuality. Dr. TaMara is a sexologist, sex therapist, educator and motivational speaker with more than 20 years of experience speaking, writing and teaching about sexuality. She travels the country helping individuals embrace and honor their sexuality. Dr. TaMara has published numerous books and articles. She is the owner of L.I.F.E. by Dr. TaMara Griffin Live Inspired Feel Empowered LLC-LIFE. She is the publisher and editor-in-chief for Our Sexuality! Magazine. Follow her on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram, or

Breaking The Code: Abstinence And A$$ Eating

February 20th, 2015 - By Brande Victorian
Share to Twitter Email This

Normally these two things wouldn’t go together but when you’re breaking the code you gotta get down to the nitty gritty. Check out what MadameNoire’s editors and the fellas of Guy Code had to say about the rules of dating while abstinent versus the rules of sliding up in the booty with your sexual partner. Watch and weigh in.

Breaking The Code: How To Tell A Man He’s Wack In Bed

February 20th, 2015 - By Brande Victorian
Share to Twitter Email This

Good sex technique comes with experience, but after so many times of experiencing a certain partner and not getting any pleasure something’s got to give. So how do you tell a man he’s wack in bed? How should a man tell his girl she needs to step her head game up? Guy Code and MadameNoire answers all. Watch and weigh in in the comments section.

Breaking The Code Sneak Peek: The Worst Kind Of BJ You Can Give A Man…

February 17th, 2015 - By Brande Victorian
Share to Twitter Email This

Think you’ve got your head game together? Think again. In the next episode of our “Breaking The Code” series, the fellas of MTV’s “Guy Code” reveal the worst things women can do when performing oral sex and we guarantee something will make you go hmm…

Check out the sneak peek of the next episode above and check back for the full chat on all things sex right here on Friday morning.


Did Y’all See? The Ledisi Grammy Snub, Wearing Strap Ons With Your Man And More

February 13th, 2015 - By Brande Victorian
Share to Twitter Email This
It’s time to get into the most ridiculous news from the past seven days.
This week, our editors discuss the Ledisi Grammy snub and who was really wrong in that situation — The Recording Academy, Beyonce, or John Legend — wearing strap ons with your man, and Memphitz and Toya’s marriage drama. Watch and weigh on on the discussion in the comments section.

50 Shades Of Kink: What BDSM Is All About

February 13th, 2015 - By TaMara Griffin
Share to Twitter Email This

Source: Shutterstock

Grab me, spank me, pull my hair! Blindfold me, tie me up if you dare! Is pain your pleasure or do you like to dabble a bit into the world of bondage, discipline/domination, submission/sadism and/or masochism (BDSM)? Well, you’re certainly not alone. Long before Christian Grey introduced Anastasia Steele to his shockingly erotic world of kink in “50 Shades of Grey” and opened up an otherwise taboo world to mainstream America, many people were already indulging BDSM play. According to research:

  • 5%-10% of the U.S. engages in BDSM for sexual pleasure on at least an occasional basis.
  • Only 14% of the BDSM community is between 18 and 25. The age group between 26 and 40 makes up the biggest percentage (47%); and approximately 37% of the community is comprised of individuals between the ages 41 and 59.
  • 14% of men and 11% of women have had some sexual experience with sadomasochism.

So what exactly is BDSM?

BDSM is a form of “non-vanilla” sexual expression and pleasure involving the consensual use of restraint, sensory stimulation, role-play and power exchange. The acronym BDSM is derived from the terms bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. BDSM includes a wide variety of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and very distinct subcultures. Many activities found under the umbrella of BDSM include but are not limited to: various forms of dominance, submission, discipline, punishment, bondage, sexual role-playing, sexual fetishism, wax play, flogging, edgeplay, medical play, suspension, spanking/whipping, sadomasochism, and power exchange. Although some BDSM activities may appear to be violent or coercive, it’s important to note that BDSM is not a form of sexual abuse. All activities are conducted with the consent of all partners involved and practiced under the under the philosophy of “safe, sane and consensual.”

Tops or Bottoms

Activities and relationships within a BDSM realm are characterized by its participants, who usually take on complementary but unequal roles. Therefore, the idea of informed consent by both the partners becomes essential far before the roles begin. Typically, participants who are active –exercising control over someone or others – are known as tops or dominants, while those participants who are controlled by their partners are typically known as bottoms or submissives. While some people can be both a top and bottom, usually most people will identify as one or the other.

Why would someone want to engage in BDSM activities?

For many people, BDSM activities and/or relationships can lead to profound supernatural experiences which have lead them to further meaning on their spiritual and sexual path. On a physical level, BDSM is commonly misconceived to be “all about physical pain.” However, most often, people who participate in BDSM are said to desire the emotional high from power, humiliation, and pleasure. For them, their body responds to pain & pleasure in a simultaneous back and forth motion, pain is pleasure and pleasure is pain. During play, individuals may experience a rush of euphoric endorphins which speed up the blood flow, stimulate the libido and enhance pleasure all at the same time. Many have compared this feeling of pleasure to that of an outer body experience. The emotional connection between tops and bottoms is said to be one of unconditional trust. The vulnerability that exists between the two helps to create the ultimate bond that enables them to completely relax into their role. This trusting bond helps to intensify the experience.

Setting the Scene

BDSM actions can often take place during a specific period of time agreed to by both parties, referred to as “play,” “a scene,” or “a session”. “Play” for a specified period of time is often called a “Session”, while the contents and the circumstances of “Play” are often referred to as the “Scene”. The term “Kink Play” is also used for BDSM activities, or more specific terms for the type of activity. Although some people only engage in BDSM play on occasion through role-playing, many advocates consider it to be a way of life and are very active in BDSM communities, also referred to as kink or leather communities. “Lifestylers” of BDSM believe that their kinky personae are real and legitimate expressions of their identities and therefore never step outside of their mutually agreed upon role.

So you’re ready to play?

For the adventurous deciding to participate in BDSM, always make sure that you and your partner(s) have a clear understanding of the adventure ahead. Here are a few guidelines which may help Before You Play:

  • Always make sure that play is safe, sane and consensual. Mutual informed consent helps to make a clear legal and ethical distinction between BDSM and crimes such as sexual assault or domestic violence.
  • Establish a safe word or signal before you begin to play. Safe words and signals are used to stop the scene outright, while others can communicate a willingness to continue, but at a reduced level of intensity. Safe words and signals are usually agreed upon before playing a scene by all participants. When picking a safe word, pick something unusual. Avoid using STOP or NO. Oftentimes, stop and no are used as a part of the play. A safe word must not be mistaken for playful resistance.
  • Make sure that either partner does not have a medical or mental condition.
  • Sanitize all equipment (whips, chains, flogger, etc.) before use.
  • Beware of constricting blood flow & oxygen for extended periods of time. Restricting blood flow and/or oxygen can cause significant damage to vital organs and may result in certain disaster.
  • Ensure you can release the “Submissive/Bottom” from bondage or restraints quickly in an emergency. Quick release can help to reduce the likelihood of injury or damage.
  • Know your limits. If the pain becomes too unbearable, don’t be afraid to discontinue the play. Remember to use and recognize your safe words and signals.
  • BDSM play is an act of trust. Do not engage in play with someone that is not willing to consent and respect the mutual agreement, and unskilled at using the particular “play” equipment at hand or you can find yourself in a harmful situation.

Whether you’re active in the kink community or enjoy a few shades of kink every now and then, it’s definitely a way to heighten the senses and bring variety to your sex life. So the next time your partner wants to blind fold you, tie you up or hand-cuff you to the bed and spank you just a bit, go for it and célébrer les sens, loosely translated, celebrate the senses!


CatalystCon PicDr. TaMara loves nothing more than talking about sex! At the age of 13, she told her mother she wanted to be a Sex Therapist! Her passion is deeply rooted in spreading messages about healthy sexuality. Dr. TaMara is a sexologist, sex therapist, educator and motivational speaker with more than 20 years of experience speaking, writing and teaching about sexuality. She travels the country helping individuals embrace and honor their sexuality. Dr. TaMara has published numerous books and articles. She is the owner of L.I.F.E. by Dr. TaMara Griffin Live Inspired Feel Empowered LLC-LIFE. She is the publisher and editor-in-chief for Our Sexuality! Magazine. Follow her on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram, or

Serious Question: Would You Wear A Strap On With Your Man?

February 9th, 2015 - By Veronica Wells
Share to Twitter Email This
Would You Wear A Strap On With Your Man

Source: Shutterstock

I hate the label “good girl.” But for whatever reason, when I tell people the most cursory details of my life; and later, what I do and don’t do sexually, the phrase always seems to come up. And it makes me cringe.

One, because it diminishes my complexity as a woman and human being; but also, because that’s just not how I see myself. In my mind, I’m something like a freak. And I try very hard not to judge people on their own sexual expression. I just do–and don’t do–what’s best for me.

If anyone understands this it’s my sister and best friend. The latter of which happens to have much more varied and partnered sexual experiences than myself. And even though there were times she jokingly (?) referred to me as a Puritan, she understands my complexity. And we talk about sex and sexuality openly, in both the practical and theoretical sense.

And it was during one of these many conversations that the issue of strap ons came up. You know, like using them on male partners. (Just in case some of y’all were starting to wonder what type of “friend” I was talking about.)

I can’t remember if we were discussing Freud’s theory of penis envy or what, but either way I just so happened to mention that I would be down to use a strap on during sex…with a man. And as much as I thought my friend was going to share my reaction, her being the open-minded and adventurous one, that was not the case.

We had this conversation years ago; but basically, the idea of a man bent over booty tooted in the air was just too much for her to handle. It read “gay” to her. And it would send up so many red flags about what he was doing when he wasn’t in her presence, that she couldn’t even get past the very imagined scenario. Vehemently against it. I shrugged it off, thinking different strokes for different folks; but as for me and my hypothetical house, if my hypothetical man were down for it, I would be ready and willing.

The conversation reemerged again this weekend when this same friend shared this absolutely hilarious video from the Comedy Central show “Broad City.” And as you might suspect, a woman is faced with the decision to use a strap on with her new beau. And she is freaked all the way out. So in a panic, she runs into the bathroom and calls her bestie for advice.

I could tell you what happens next but the humor lies in the visual, so just watch it. And we’ll resume the discussion afterward. Surprisingly, after the first 10 seconds or so, you can get away with watching this at work, if your coworkers aren’t too nosy.

Hilarious, right? *Makes mental note to start watching “Broad City.”*  Just in case you haven’t been following the narrative, I’m the friend that starts p poppin’ on a handstand at the thought of getting to wear this type of equipment. I certainly didn’t wear strap ons to bed in college, but I’ve thought about this possibility quite a bit and even asked one person if he’d be willing to try it. He said no. :(

And even though the video ends with the first woman deciding to “gurl, bye, give it a try. Give your boy a chance,” my friend was still not persuaded.

Me? I was only reassured of the decision I’d made years ago.

I wrote on her Facebook page, underneath the video: “Gurl…listen…when I tell you I pray that I am called upon with this opportunity. I would not even have to think twice. #geeked.” 

But my friend still had reservations, which she phrased in the form of questions.

“This also begs the question…how do you feel about using other people’s artillery? Like how many people have worn this strap. I prefer my own toolkit.” 

Fair. I too, am not one for hand me downs, particularly when the genital area is involved.

Perhaps a raincheck until I can get my own strap?

Then another friend asked, “Where do you go from there? Is this the new norm? Does this escalate?” 

Hmm…I don’t know about escalating but I’m assuming that once you’ve crossed that threshold there is no going back.

I get it. We’ve all been warned and re-warned about the “down low brotha.” And if we’re honest, a lot of us are still walking around with some residual homophobia. But I’m of the mindset that the anus, booty meat and all that is an erogenous zone for quite a few people, men and women alike. Wanting to get pegged or plugged or whatever by an apparatus, with a woman on the other end of it, doesn’t, by default, make you gay. Just means you want someone to play with you booty hole. Really, if you take away all the preconceived notions, and just think about pleasing that particular individual, what’s the crime in that?

Basically, the same general rules apply. Having sex with someone you don’t trust can be a risky game. So naturally, if he tells you he’s straight, bisexual or gay but trying new things for a couple of days, don’t sleep with him, strap on or no strap on, if you don’t believe, wholeheartedly, what he said.

Later that evening, my friend texted me very disturbed by her “close-mindedness.” She was concerned that she, who considered herself “open,” couldn’t get past this mental block and incorporate the strap on, even though, to my knowledge, she’s never been asked to do so.

I told her what I’ll tell you, if it’s not your thing, it’s nothing to stress over. But I think it’s healthy to question yourself and your opinions.

While I can probably guess what a majority of these responses will be, I still want to ask the question, if your man said he wanted to try a strap on or a peg, would you be down to ride…or drill?

“He Messed With The Wrong Girl” 17-Year-Old Poured Acid On Her Boyfriend’s Penis Because He Recorded Them Having Sex

February 3rd, 2015 - By Veronica Wells
Share to Twitter Email This
17-Year-Old Poured Acid On Her Boyfriend's Penis

Source: Shutterstock

You know what they say, pick your sexual partners carefully…very carefully. We’ve seen time and time again how things can go left…quickly.

And secondly, when you have sex, make sure your partner is ok with what you’re doing.

Though these lessons seem simple enough, unfortunately they were not followed by a couple in South Africa, 25-year-old Humphrey Khoza or the 17-year-old girl he was sleeping with.

This girl, from Mpumalanga, South Africa, who was not named because she is underage, had consensual–though illegal–sex with Khoza. What she didn’t know was that he recorded the act on his laptop, without her permission. And not only did Khoza record their escapade, somehow the video got out.

The girl told Times Live, “I heard about the video from one of my classmates and I thought they were joking, but then I saw the video myself and lost my mind.” 

The video was uploaded to social media.

The girl said she was so enraged that she immediately thought of ways to make Khoza pay for his actions. She walked into the local bar that he frequented and threw battery acid on his penis while he was drinking beer with his friends.

The girl said, later, in an interview, “I never intended to kill his penis. I was just angry and all I wanted was to make him feel the pain I was feeling. I had to do something to show him that I was angry and wanted to hurt him so that he can see that he messed with the wrong girl.” 

The girl said Khoza deceived her even further by not wearing a condom while they were having sex.

She searched through her father’s tools for a wheel spanner initially but stumbled across the acid.

“I took it and went straight to his regular drinking place and when I got there I became angrier. I didn’t hesitate to pour the acid on him.” 

Khoz, who had been dating this girl since December, told reporters, “Everything happened in a blink of an eye because I saw her when she was coming with a bottle, but I didn’t realize that she was carrying acid. She just angrily called me a dog. She asked me how in the world I could have done such an evil thing to her. It was only then that I realized that she was talking about the video that I took while we were having sex.” 

While Khoza did admit to recording he and the girl having sex, he didn’t intend to show it to anyone and doesn’t understand how the video landed on social media.

Khoza, whose penis will never function properly again, is remorseful and says he’s lucky to be alive.

From now on, he’ll have to urinate through a tube and will eventually have to undergo surgery.

And while he’s been advised to press charges, he doesn’t think it will be worth it.

Even if I press charges it is useless because it won’t bring back my manhood. Her being in jail will just ruin her future because she is still young and I do not have the energy to attend courts.” 

When authorities were asked if they would press charges, the police said only if one of the two parties want to open a case.

Before we go any further, we all know why Khoza doesn’t want to open up a case. I don’t know South African law but in America, I can think of at least two different charges that would keep him from doing so: sex with a minor, recording of child porn and most likely the distribution of it as well. I’m just not buying the story about him not knowing how it got on social media. I think that’s what he means when he says he’s lucky to still have his life. If homegirl was thinking properly, she would have gone to the police rather than her father’s toolbox.

I’m actually quite surprised the law is not pursuing this case without anyone filing charges, perhaps they feel like Khoza has suffered enough.

What do you make of this story? Certainly two wrongs don’t make a right but do you think Khoza should take the brunt of the blame for the way things turned out?