All Articles Tagged "self-respect"
Keri Hilson On Relationships: Bottom Line Is, A Man Will Treat You According To The ‘Messages’ YOU Put Out
Miss Keri baby is dropping some knowledge this Friday afternoon when it comes to women and relationships — or not depending on your view of the male/female dynamic.
According to Necole Bitchie, innocently, or so it seemed, Keri Hilson uploaded the image above to Instagram seemingly offering an inspiring word to women and girls about their dealings with men. But it didn’t take long for people to zone in on the fact that Keri appeared to be putting all the onus on women when it comes to men treating them right — and that people did not stand for. Seeing the 200-plus comments she received on the posts (mostly in the negative vain) Keri backed up her message with this advice:
“Interesting comments on my last IG post…quite a stir. But I don’t see the confusion. Ladies don’t get it twisted. It DOES start with YOU!! Unfortunately, every man doesn’t possess some standard high amount of respect for every woman they encounter…just as every woman doesn’t exude the same amount of confidence, class, or self respect. This is not a perfect world, where men treat “hoes” with the same respect they give “ladies” just because their mother taught them well.
Bottom line is, a man will treat you according to the “messages” YOU put out there. That’s the way of the world…reality. If you exude sex, you will attract men who want that from you. If you exude self respect, you will attract the type of men who respect women. In this world, you attract what you exude. Ladies, WE set the tone!! NEVER forget that!! We have the power to change our experiences w/ men.”
Keri’s message certainly isn’t wrong, but I’m sure there are plenty of women out there thinking I treat myself with respect and demand it from others and I still can’t find a good man, so don’t act like this advice is foolproof. Or they feel like this commenter who told Keri her message is nothing but “Patriarchy at its finest & many women can’t even see how they buy into and/or perpetuate the oppression.”
I definitely believe we all show others how to treat us, but I, for one, am tired of the notion that women have to teach men how to be men. Some men will attempt to walk all over you no matter what signs you put in the universe. At that point all you have control over is how long you tolerate the nonsense.
What do you think about Keri’s message?
Women are understanding and accommodating by nature. We evolved to be that way, as caretakers of the children. But sometimes, we get confused about our roles, and we let our men behave like children, therein cheating ourselves of someone who really fulfills the word “partner.” Here are 14 behaviors women let men get away with far too much!
At the recent inauguration for Barack Obama, you’d think all of the attention would be focused on our re-elected President. However, it was the First Lady who grabbed headlines: from her fresh new bob to her now famous side eye, it was all about Michelle. And rightfully so. She’s what one might call a queen. Not in the British Royal Family way, but in how she carries herself…and all queens command attention.
I’ve heard many women lament about finding their own “Barack,” but what I’ve also noticed is that a lot of those same women complaining about finding their king have not yet become the queen they were meant to be. This isn’t to throw shade or knock anyone for not being “perfect” – none of us are. I simply mean to suggest that finding your king requires that you be every bit of the queen a king would be looking for and if you know you aren’t your best self, your king will never find you. There is no set rulebook for being a queen by everyone’s standards, but there is definitely a difference between a girl and a fully realized woman. If you’re unsure if you’ve reached your “queenly-ness” yet, consider these traits that almost all dynamic women have. A Queen…
Just as everyone is sitting down to assess their plan of action with their diets, their workout regiments, their careers, and their finances, the new year is the perfect time to sit down and assess your plan of action with your love life. If things didn’t go the way you’d hoped in 2012, for the most part that was no stroke of bad luck. It was an accumulation of wrong decisions, shortsightedness, and perhaps failure to respect yourself and your needs. Don’t just charge into 2013 saying, “My love life will be better this year!” Ask yourself how?What will you consciously do, or perhaps not do, to improve your love life? A great way to begin is to make a list of behavior and treatment you just won’t tolerate. This might help you get started with your list.
Most people would like to be the one who puts an end to a bad relationship rather than being dumped by their loved one. But the fact is that, even if you want to end your relationship, it’s not easy to tell someone that it’s over. That’s right, essentially breaking up is a lose-lose situation. Breaking up with your partner may be necessary at some point but let it have the dignity that your relationship did.
Ending a relationship is all the more difficult when it is not by mutual consent. When one of the partners has to initiate the break in the relationship, it can turn into a situation filled with anger, sadness, confusion and frustration and therefore must be handled with care and lots of thought. Here are 7 tips that might help you along the way to a peaceful break-up.