All Articles Tagged "season"
The Grass Isn’t Always Greener: Married, But Want To Be Single; Single But Want To Be Married–Which Woman Are You?
“I’ve learned to be content in whatever state I am in, for the state I think I desire may not be what I imagine it to be…” –Liz Lampkin
How many times do we hear “I can’t wait to be married” or “I wish I was single again…”? Or how about “I love my husband, but I wish I would’ve waited to get married,” or my personal favorite, “Being single in today’s world is not easy”? Why do we hear these things from women? Why are there so many women who are married but wish they were single again, and why are there so many women who are single that can’t wait to be married? The answers are simple…the married women who wish they were single again did not enjoy their single life, and they might have married for the wrong reasons, so they don’t see the true value or know the purpose for being married; and single women who are rushing to the altar have a jaded view of what it takes to be and stay married, and they don’t see the value in being single.
For many years, women have been tying the knot for a number of reasons. Some of those reasons include marrying a man for status and money, marrying because they are pregnant, and so on and so forth. While some may view these reasons for marriage as valid, I think if more women married because they want to fulfill their purpose in the world with the man that was designed specifically for them, then more marriages would last. I also believe that if more women would see the value in being single, they would not rush to the altar. Marriage is a sacred union that should be entered into with much prayer and spiritual preparation. It should be handled and valued with care and caution because it is a gift that is often misused and skewed. If more women would spend time during their single life discovering who they are and living out their purpose in being single, rather than spending a bulk of the time desiring a mate and marriage, when and if the time finally comes for them to be married, they will appreciate it.
I’ve learned that one of the primary reasons many women desire marriage is because they don’t want to be lonely, but unfortunately, marriage is not the cure for loneliness. I know a number of women who are married, but they are lonelier than many single women. Being married is a blessing just as much as being single is a blessing. Both life seasons have a distinct purpose for everyone involved directly and indirectly, you just have to be prayerful and positive during both stages of life.
For the married women who wish they were single again, take some time to reflect on your marriage and the good things that have come from it, and be grateful for your husband. Even if he is not the man you think he should be, he is the man you chose to marry. Even if you think you’ve made a mistake, or rushed in too soon, hang in there. Learn from the mistake you made and help others not to do the same. For the single women who wish they were married, talk to a happily married woman who has been with her partner for more than 20 years. Ask her what their secret is to staying happily married for so long. Take intricate notes and reflect on them. When you’ve reflected on the notes and the conversation, ask yourself are you really ready to do what it takes to be this kind of wife, and not simply a married woman, because there is a difference that not many women realize. As I stated previously, being married is a blessing, and being single is a blessing as well. Both seasons of life should be valued and appreciated. Learn to be content in whatever season of life you are in with relationships, because the season you desire may not be the spring and summer you imagine it to be.Are you a single woman who wants to be married? Why? Are you a married woman who wants to be single? Why?
Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For? Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin.
Dear Single Sistas,
I’m writing this letter to my Single Sistas who may be feeling down in the dumps during this Christmas season because they don’t have a mate to exchange gifts with or spend quality holiday time with. This letter also goes out to those who may feel extremely lonely during this season because they are fresh out of a relationship and this is your first time without a significant other. I’m writing this letter to encourage you to celebrate this holiday season in your season of singleness, and see and embrace the beauty that it is. I know many of you may be saying or thinking that you enjoy the holiday season with friends and family, but it would be nice to have a special man in your life to exchange a kiss or two under the mistletoe with, or exchange a kiss at midnight with at the beginning of a New Year. While I agree with you, I want to encourage you to find different ways to enjoy the holiday season while you’re single. One of the things you can do this season is volunteer at a shelter, or soup kitchen. Not only will this gesture help someone else, but it will make you see how blessed you are for the things you have and make you forget about not having a mate (at least for the moment).
Another thing you can do is spend the extra money you would have spent on a gift for your mate on yourself! Treat yourself to something extremely special and out of the ordinary and place it under your tree addressed to you from you! You can also spend that extra money on a weekend getaway for yourself, or start a new savings account to ring in the New Year. Another thing you can do during your single holiday is spend time reflecting on what the holiday season really means. So many people get caught up in the commercialization of the holidays that they have the tendency to forget what they are truly designed to be about…Thankfulness. One more thing you can do during this holiday season of singleness is actually just enjoy the fact that you are single! While spending time with friends and family is a wonderful thing, it’s also a wonderful thing to have quiet time for self-reflection.
Look back and reflect on your accomplishments, the good times you had this year, and focus on new beginnings and how you will be the best single woman you can be until the time comes for your season of singleness to end. I know it’s hard when you see and hear of friends getting engaged on Christmas or at midnight on New Year’s Eve, and you find yourself waning the same thing. I also know it’s hard to see the lavish gifts from a friend’s significant other too, but I encourage you to stay positive and grateful for all you have because your time will come when the time is right. Don’t be down this holiday season. Lift your heads and hearts because your/our season of singleness is a gift that’s not only given once a year, but all year round if you allow it to be the gift that it is, because the truth of the matter is, I’d rather be a single woman happy and enjoying my holiday without a relationship, rather than being a woman in a relationship, yet still single and more alone than you think during every season of the year. So I say to all of you, enjoy this and every holiday season in your season of singleness because there may come a time in your life when you wish you had done so. Enjoy being single, and appreciate it for what it is.
Sincerely, Your Single Sistah,
LizLiz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For? Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin.
Between the kids, the friends, the co-workers and the significant other, the gift-giving season can be strenuous on the pockets. You strive to get everyone the perfect gift, while putting the trimmings on the Christmas tree, feeding the family on Christmas Day, and pleasing professional contacts with a great gift idea. But at what cost?
On average, Americans are expected to spend about $854 on gifts this holiday season alone, according to Yahoo! Finance. To some, that’s close to a week’s pay, which usually means cutting back extremely during the coming New Year. Minimize that expenditure and give inexpensive gifts that are more sentimental then the latest iPhone and you could have a win-win on your hands. Here are a few gift ideas that are budget-friendly, do-it-yourself, or simply straight from the heart, without costing you a whole paycheck in advance.
Prepare and Give Your Tastiest Dish
One great idea to give this holiday if you are trying to budget while gift to a whole family is prepare and give your favorite dish or treat! Whether it is cookies, homemade candy or pie, or making something straight from the heart, something straight from your stove is a great gift for an entire family. It also saves on the money spent buying individual gifts. If someone has been raving about one of your scrumptious side dishes since Thanksgiving dinner, gift them one for Christmas. Or if baked goods like cookies are your specialty, bake a couple dozen and find a special holiday cookie tin. The only real cost is a little grocery money, elbow grease in the kitchen, and time.
The holiday season is here (as of Thursday), with droves of shoppers looking to spend their extra cash on the latest gadgets, toys and big purchases. And while the economy might seem a bit more stable when it comes to driving consumers, many still struggle with unemployment. As 7.9 percent of Americans face the possibility of unemployment during the holiday season, the craziness of the popular consumer season sparks an increase in seasonal job openings.
According to the Tribune Chronicle’s TribToday, retailers nationwide “are expected to hire 585,000 to 625,000 seasonal workers this holiday season, according to estimates by the National Retail Federation.” So if you are still in search of a job, or looking to earn a little more money for extra spending or expenses, try your hand at getting a seasonal position for the holidays.
It’s usually around high school when we begin to learn how rare a true friend is. Good friends are like a bomb pair of designer shoes, the ones that are actually comfortable and are marked down at a ridiculously low price. They’re hard to come by and when you do happen to come across a pair, you cherish them because you are well aware of their value. A good girlfriend can act as the sister you’ve never had, the therapist you can’t afford, and provide the encouragement that you need when the going gets tough. Sadly, many beautiful friendships end for trivial and foolish reasons. I know the saying goes, some people enter your life for a reason, some for a season, and some for a lifetime, but what if you’re allowing a lifetime friend to walk away over something petty? Check out some of the common reasons friendships end below and maybe you’ll decide that it’s time for you and your BFF to kiss and make up.
Social Network Squabbles
The infamous subliminal Facebook statuses and misunderstood tweets have been like a cancer to friendships everywhere since about 2005. I remember watching in amazement last summer as I witnessed the original Twitter “beef” breakout on my timeline between “Basketball Wives” stars and besties Jennifer Williams and Evelyn Lozada. I then began to reflect on my own life and my friends. I could count at least five of them who had fallen out over ridiculous social networking wars that originated over something being said that may or may not have even been about them. Are you really beefing over what you saw someone Tweet?? Come on ladies, think about how foolish you’d feel if you allowed yourself to lose a friend a few years back over Myspace. No one even visits that site anymore!
*Sighs* Men are one of the leading causes of ruined friendships between women in America. Seriously though, this is such a common reason that great friendships fall apart. No, I would not suggest making up with a friend who vindictively slept with your man, that’s just trifling. And how could you trust them again? I would, however, suggest that you try to make amends with the friend who may have gotten a little caught up in her new relationship and may be unintentionally neglecting your friendship. I mean, we’ve all been there at one point or another. Express to her how you feel and try to work through it! Then, there’s the scenario where a rift can appear between friends when they realize that they’ve both been eying the same guy. This is not grounds to end a friendship. Two mature women will foresee the disaster which lies ahead and both agree to leave him alone. Sisters before misters, right? Chicks before … um, you get the point.
By Taylor Lea Thomas
“Where may one go to rent a gown, dresses and accessories at a reasonable price? I need a reasonable website to rent a gown and accessories.”
Regarding rentals, I’m unable to endorse any particular company due to the fact that I have not worked with one for renting gowns so I’d rather not since I won’t be able to vouch for their credibility. However, here are a few tips on rentals in general as you browse around during the wedding planning process:
Always, always, always read the fine print: Don’t be naïve in thinking all is fine and dandy. Since you’ll be renting personal items, be sure to know what you’re getting into and what the consequences might be in the event that the items you rent are lost, stolen, damaged, etc. Also, be sure that you get all fees clarified prior to signing any rental agreements so you don’t end up paying additional fees you were not aware of. Make and keep copies of everything. Make sure to write down the correct style number, item number, sku number and more to be sure that what you paid for is what you receive.
Obtain wedding insurance: It’s always best to expect the unexpected. With wedding insurance, depending on the type of policy you select, you will be covered in the event that the vendor goes out of business, fails to show up, etc. Some policies even cover loss of deposits. At Elite Soirée | Luxury Weddings, all clients are required to obtain wedding liability insurance, and I’d recommend the same for you regardless of your budget. It’s very, very affordable with some plans under $100. It’s worth having for piece of mind on your wedding day.
Order with ample time in advance: Since you won’t be using your own items, be sure to order all rentals with ample time in advance in the event that what you receive is not what you ordered. If you give yourself enough time, then any errors can be corrected without you having to incur additional rush shipping fees. Waiting until the last minute will only cause frustration, and that’s the last thing you want on your wedding day.
Thoroughly research for any bad reviews: Whenever I’m researching a company, I always read the bad reviews first because I already know why I’d consider spending money on that particular company, so I’m more interested in knowing why I should not. Sometimes a few companies do, unjustifiably, receive bad reviews from irate customers for no valid reason. It happens, and it’s unfortunate, especially for online companies, but it also does help in the decision process of whether or not to use that company’s services and/or products. Take what you read with a grain of salt since not all bad reviews are correct, but research thoroughly before renting any items.
While it sounded like a beautiful relationship on paper, Lamar Odom and the Dallas Mavericks have broken up. And if you were wondering who broke up with who, they’re both claiming it was a “mutual agreement.” As Odom told ESPN, it is “in the best interest of both parties for me to step away from the team.”
The husband of Khloé Kardashian, reality TV star and popular power forward was only with the Mavericks for four months (in a season that was shortened by last year’s lockout), but in reality, he never really got off to a good start with the team. After spending years as a Laker, winning championships and even obtaining the coveted Sixth Man of the Year Award, the team not so quietly (though they tried to be slick about it) tried to ship Odom to the New Orleans Hornets, only to quickly have him sent packing to the Mavericks after the trade was vetoed. Feeling unwanted, Odom was pretty open about the fact that he felt disrespected by his former team, and I guess he took that attitude down South. Throughout the season, Odom played like he was out of it, and fans noticed it according to the good folks at AP.
“Odom never seemed happy or comfortable in Dallas, not even when wife and reality TV co-star Khloé Kardashian was in the stands just a few feet from the Mavericks bench. His averages of 6.6 points, 4.2 rebounds and 20.5 minutes were career lows, and he was booed by the home crowd as the sluggish performances multiplied. The low point appeared to come Saturday night, when he played just four minutes in a 94-89 loss at Memphis. Asked after the game about the situation, Odom simply shrugged his shoulders.”
Damn. You know things are all bad when the home crowd doesn’t even want to show you love, but when you don’t show up and show out, don’t expect open arms. But Odom has had a tough season with personal tragedies and distractions. While the Mavericks lose their best backup for Dirk Nowitzki, Odom is left without a job and will most likely be deemed inactive for the rest of the season. Granted, the NBA season will only last for a few more months, but still, I’m sure he’s not too happy about that.
In response to her husband’s current situation and the reality that they’ll probably need to leave Dallas, Khloé told the world her feeling’s on her husband’s treatment via Twitter. According to US, she said, “You deserve so much better. Know your worth and know your skills that have been proven and earned! You showed your strength, I love you…Why do I always have to leave when there is so much to do. I love Dallas ”
In the few times that I’ve watched “Khloé & Lamar,” Khloe has always seemed like she was down for whatever when it came to her man, but I’m wondering if this situation (and the constant moving they seem to always have to do) will affect her? All she can do at the moment is be supportive, but we know if this was Kim, somebody’s lawyer would be getting called, and some PR statements would be sent out. But Khloé does seem different and very likable, so I’m sure she’ll roll with the punches. They do still have their reality show (where I’m sure the drama of this situation will be played out on), though some say Odom’s involvement on the show could have hurt his appeal with the Mavericks. But even if he didn’t have that, I’m sure big momma Kris could always hook him up with something…
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Another strong start for “Detroit 187,” with James Brown’s “The Big Payback” funking up the opening scenes. Things go pretty much downhill from there.