All Articles Tagged "RHOA"

When A Man Doesn’t Love Himself…

June 3rd, 2016 - By Charing Ball
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Admittedly, I have not been keeping up with Kenya Moore’s love life because I don’t really care.

However, the internet seems to be abuzz with the news that the 45-year-old “Real Housewives of Atlanta” cast member has broken up with her young tenderoni Matt Jordan.

According to Bossip, the 28-year-old personal trainer recently took to Instagram to share with “his fans” the reason why the two were no more. In short, she did not trust him and he didn’t trust himself. Perhaps it has something to do with him blabbing things on Instagram. But, again, I don’t care.

Anyway, here is the message in full (courtesy of YBF):

In spite of the fact that this post is about Kenya Moore who I have been over for a while, I have to say that I am quite impressed with his candor. This sort of introspection from men is quite rare but definitely refreshing.

And I know everyone’s impulse is to blame Moore, because she’s a woman and we are always to blame. And to be fair, she is a bit of a drama queen who regularly pull stunts for attention (ie. ratings). But I do believe Jordan when he says that this was not just an issue about her.

And color me naïve, but I believe this was a real relationship between two folks who were not equally yoked.

It could have been financial, which everyone in the comment section seems to believe it is. Or it could have been emotional, which I think is more the case. She really does make her own check and quite honestly, he didn’t add much to her storyline anyway. For all we know, Moore could have been perfectly content being the breadwinner in the relationship. But if a man is not comfortable in himself then you really can’t expect him to be good to anyone else.

And that is just a universal and inconvenient truth.

I mean, he basically owned up to it when he said: “I was in denial of my own flaws until late into the relationship. It caused me to feel untrusting in her because I did not feel that I had her FULL love and attention. I didn’t realize that I created my own circumstances…”

I don’t care how nice he is; how much he wines and dines you. I don’t care if your mamma likes him and your granddad does too. I don’t even care if he swears up and down he loves you. If he doesn’t feel like he has accomplished all he wanted or has gotten physically to the place he wants to be in life, he will always doubt your sincerity in loving him.

And this goes for us ladies too. I know there have been times in my life when I didn’t believe compliments and accolades because I didn’t think that person, or even boyfriend, giving them to me was telling me the truth. And the reason why I didn’t believe they were telling me the truth was because in those instances, I did not believe I deserved the compliments and accolades myself.

I’m not much into giving relationship advice. And I would suggest you never take any from the internet. Still, Jordan’s letter might help some folks out there heal and move on from wondering why a relationship is not working out.

Perhaps, it has nothing to do with how much love each of you have for each other. Perhaps it is about whether or not you fully love yourself first.

RHOA Brandon Deshazer Says Gay Black Men Are “Accessories” on Reality Television

February 22nd, 2016 - By Charing Ball
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RHOA

Bravo

On the “Real Housewives of Atlanta” he is known as Kenya Moore’s gay best friend/assistant.

But in recently Facebook rant, Brandon Deshazer wants the world to know just how sick and tired he is of the “gay Black friend” stereotype in general.

Posted in its entirety:

While Deshazer claims he is opposed to the shade, the example he provided sounds vaguely similar to a recent episode of RHOA when the cast sat around and made derogatory statements about the sexuality of fellow cast member Kim Fields’ husband.

Nevertheless, point taken and received.

I have written before about reality television’s particular propensity to use gay men as accessories for allegedly affluent women. More specifically in the post entitled, Are Gay Men the New “Mammies” of Reality Television?, I wrote:

Like so many other reality TV show watchers, I have begun to notice the casting on these shows seems to be on reinforcing our expectations of a certain group. The loudmouth, angry black woman is probably the most notable – if not talked about – of these memes.  But there are many, many others, including the non-threatening gay sidekick, which are just as pervasive.The irony is that the gay male sidekick is supposed to show how progressive and completely accepting of homosexuality these women are. However, watching these reality TV show characters tote these men around on their arms like the latest handbag would be just as bad as watching a character in an old black and white film, saying that she loves Negro people because, “I have a Black maid.”

But while I see where Deshazer is coming from, I do have one major caveat: How about we start addressing misogyny in general?

I mean, that is what is at the heart of all of this, right?

It’s not just about using derogatory words like “queen” and “delicate” to oppress Black male sexuality. It’s that words like “queen” and “delicate” are seen as derogatory and as weapons to begin with.

It’s that penetration, which is something that is only supposed to be done to women, is seen as feminine. It’s also that we tend to equate femininity with weakness.

And it is that the gay Black male community often and unwittingly plays into its own oppression when they individually co-sign, endorse and engage in any of the same sort of weaponization of women and our sexuality. My favorite example of this is how the shady term “fish” is used to belittle and devalue women specifically, and no one really bats an eye.

My point is not to devalue what Deshazer is saying here. I firmly believe that we are all entitled to respect. And I think that it is about time that someone not only remind the ladies of RHOA but Bravo executives themselves that gay, Black men are deserving of respect.

However, I do wonder if Deshazer would be as incensed by the oppression, if those reality show stars he mentioned were gossiping about some THOT?

If You Were Kandi, Would You Have Phaedra At The Hospital After You Gave Birth?

January 8th, 2016 - By Veronica Wells
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Earlier this week, we told you about the drama between Kandi, Phaedra and Todd. In case you missed it, basically both Todd and Kandi allege that Phaedra owes them money for a workout DVD Todd produced for her.

While many argued that Todd was only approaching her because he was short on cash and Phaedra was in a vulnerable position, with Apollo being incarcerated, Kandi took to her Instagram to announce that Todd had been trying to get that money since 2013.

Going on three years.

A mess.

Considering that Kandi made that last comment on Sunday of this week and we’re just a week and a day into 2016, it would seem that the issue has yet to be resolved.

So, I found it quite interesting that both Kandi and Phaedra posted a picture of them in the hospital together after the birth of her newborn son, Ace Wells Tucker.

If they’ve resolved the issue, that’s great.

But for the sake of argument for this article, let’s say they haven’t yet. And let’s also say that you’re Kandi. You just welcomed a new baby into the world. Knowing that you were once very close with Phaedra but your relationship has been strained as of late, would you still invite her to the hospital to welcome the arrival of your child.

And by strained, I mean not only does Phaedra owe you money your friend witnessed her publicly bashing your husband.

I don’t know about y’all, but I don’t think it could have been me. If Phaedra was a family member, I’d be able to excuse a few more things. But she’s not. She’s a friend. And I don’t know if I’d want someone who doesn’t respect my husband, his time or our money to be sitting up on my hospital bed (in her street clothes no less), posing and grinning for the cameras. Phaedra was sure to include the fact that she brought Kandi her famous chicken salad, along with some croissants.

Not saying that Phaedra is out to get Kandi or anything, but I wouldn’t have felt comfortable eating from her. But I’ve been known to be paranoid.

When I asked my coworkers this question, the answer was pretty split. Some of us wouldn’t have Phaedra in the room because she seems like a shady person and not too great of a friend.

The rest of my coworkers argued that when you have a new baby you’re probably so elated and happy that you’d welcome someone who you were once very close with to come share in that joy. Moments like births and deaths do have a way of making people think about the bigger picture.

If she did come through, armed with food and well wishes, she certainly could have stood by the side of the bed, instead of sitting all on my sheets.

What do you think? If you felt you had fallen out with your friend and felt she had disrespected your husband, would you welcome her or would you wait until you left the hospital to make things right?

Did Y’all See? Money Is Funny Between Phaedra And Todd And Future And Ciara

January 8th, 2016 - By Brande Victorian
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On this week’s episode of Did Y’all See, we’re discussing the idea of Beyoncé playing Sarah Baartman, Future coming for Ciara in the most disrespectful way on Twitter and whether or not Phaedra Parks owes Todd Tucker money. Watch and weigh in with the editors.

Are You Afraid To Ask For Your Money?

January 4th, 2016 - By Veronica Wells
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Afraid To Ask For Your Money

Source: Bravo

If you watched the most recent episode of “Real Housewives of Atlanta,” you saw Todd Tucker confront Phaedra Parks about some money she owed him for helping to produce her workout DVD. Y’all remember Donkey Booty. Anyway, Todd presented her with receipts showing that the checks she had sent to him were canceled.

I’m sure it was a little embarrassing for Phaedra.

Some viewers who tuned into the show, didn’t take too kindly to Todd approaching Phaedra. They felt that he was only doing so because he was pressed for money and waited to confront Phaedra about it once Apollo had been hauled off to prison.

And, while I don’t watch the show, I saw the reaction and thought what does it matter when he asked for his money, it’s his. The mere fact that he has to ask for it at all says more about Phaedra than it does about him.

Kandi saw the reaction; and in defense of her husband, she provided some receipts and a bit of backstory on her Instagram page.

In 2015 My husband @todd167 had 3 shows that he was executive producer on to air on 3 different networks. People lie but credits don't. Check the credits! We're trying to move past this petty bs about this workout DVD but it's always tough to watch the drama play out today over things we've supposedly worked out already. I just want to make things clear for people who are watching this episode of RHOA. My husband is great at what he does & he's been successful at it. People always talk shit on this show but I hate when they try to discredit him with lies. Let me just clear up something for y'all. Todd & Phaedra talked years ago when she was pregnant with Dylan about him helping her with production for her pregnancy DVD. He was doing it as a friend because he said they could do it way cheaper than the company she worked with on her 1st workout DVD. She approved the budget & she paid the first 2 payments but never paid the third for whatever reason. This was well before Apollo went to jail. Todd sent final invoice emails but there was just excuses & no payment. I told him not to worry about it & give her time. But now years have passed. You know how it is when you have a friend who owes you money but they come around with new shit all the time but never mentions your money… That's why he was irritated. So to everyone who is coming at us in the chat box saying my husband waited for her husband to go to jail to ask for his money as if he was scared to ask, that is absolutely not true. He's was asking long before. Just never got all his money. Simple…. And Todd was never being mean or disrespectful to her. He always remained cordial. The video was shot & finalized in 2013. She was suppose to give him the photo she wanted to put on the DVD menu & final payment back then…. It's 2016 people. I hope this gives y'all some clarity. #NoShade #AllFacts

A photo posted by Kandi Burruss (@kandiburruss) on

Well, well, well.

I’m a little biased toward Kandi. I’ve always liked her the most because she seemed to be the most honest and would own up to her mistakes if need be. That being said, it doesn’t seem like she’d lie about Phaedra not paying Todd from nearly three years ago. If she had, there would be no need to present receipts on cable television. But sometimes folks have to be embarrassed in order to do the right thing, especially people who are overly concerned with status and appearances.

But Phaedra, Kandi and Todd aside, money is a sensitive subject. And I wondered if some of you have ever had to return to a close friend or family member to ask for the money you lent them. If you’re anything like me, it’s generally not a pleasant experience. There’s something so frustrating about attempting to hold a grown person accountable. Trying to show someone how to be a man or woman of their word is something he or she should have learned during childhood. And the possibility of insinuating something about a person’s morals and values, in asking for your own money, could offend someone you care about. And you obviously care about them otherwise you wouldn’t have loaned them money.

I’ve noticed that men have an easier time asking for their money than women do. In this and many other societies, women are conditioned to please, while men are commended and rewarded for speaking plainly, no matter whose feelings get hurt in the process. I once watched a man I was dating ask his roommate for his half of the rent, in front of me. He wasn’t rude about it. But I was amazed at the fact he’d done it so casually, and in front of me no less.  Shouldn’t that conversation have happened in private? Apparently, that wasn’t necessary. And within minutes, he had his money.

The only example I have of a woman getting assertive when someone owed her money, was my grandmother. Apparently, she loaned my aunt some money and when she hadn’t paid it back, after being repeatedly asked for it, my grandmother took her to small claims court. Harsh, right? Well, she got her money. And though I’m sure their relationship might have been strained for a while after, they eventually came back together.

And I think that’s the point. If the relationship is strong enough, it’ll be able to withstand you asking for your own money back. Anybody who would look at you crazy for you trying to get what you’re owed, probably wasn’t down for you in the first place.

Phaedra Says She Hasn’t Divorced Apollo Because She’s Still In Love With Him

December 30th, 2015 - By Veronica Wells
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Phaedra Says She Hasn't Divorced Apollo Because She's Still In Love With Him

Instagram

Right before her husband Apollo Nida went to prison, it seemed like a divorce was imminent. Tensions ran high and there were some pretty nasty altercations between Phaedra Parks and her soon-to-be incarcerated husband.

But you know what they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. And now that the two have been separated by law, she’s starting to reflect on that old thang. Even if that old thang is her current thang. Either way, in a recent interview with OK Magazine, Phaedra Parks said “I still love my husband, and I’ll always love him. He’s the father of my children and something great came from our union.” 

And not only does she love him as the father of her children, there might be a chance they can rekindle their marriage as well.

“I’m very optimistic This has not tainted my view on love. I think love is a beautiful thing. I believe in love— I always believe in love.”

And as far as Nida’s incarceration impeding on their love, Parks said “I think everything happens in its perfect season and its perfect time and bad things happen to great people,” she said. “Good things happen to bad people. But I think love conquers all, and so I think it’s a possibility.”

Interesting.

Particularly when, last year at this time, there were a plethora of reports claiming that the union was done.

We obviously don’t know the ins and outs of their relationship or marriage. But we saw a nice chunk of it on the show.

Personally, I’ve always been of the opinion that Phaedra was fully aware of her husband’s criminal activity and might have even been involved herself. While Phaedra had her own, she certainly benefitted from what her husband was contributing to their lifestyle. So I can’t see why she’d be surprised by the fact that he would held accountable. All the ugliness that came before he was actually locked up, they might be able to move past.

Judging from what we do know, do you think Phaedra and Apollo should get back together?

You can watch Phaedra’s interview in the video below.

“I Wanted To Maintain My Dignity”: Trans Model Amiyah Scott Explains Why She Quit RHOA

December 29th, 2015 - By Victoria Uwumarogie
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We told you earlier this year that model Amiyah Scott was to be the first trans woman in the history of the Real Housewives franchise to be cast on the show (in a trial capacity, not as a housewife) after securing a role on The Real Housewives of Atlanta. There was a mixed response, with even NeNe Leakes throwing shade. But despite what people had to say, it was supposed to be a significant opportunity for Scott.

But then filming started, and things went sour.

According to TMZ, Scott recently quit after producers allegedly pushed her to try and sexualize herself in lingerie and act like a vixen–kind of in the way Porsha Williams has done this season. And not only that, Scott felt that she was also being made out to be the drama queen of the cast, and was encouraged to be catty with the other housewives–kind of in the way Kenya Moore has done since she joined the cast in 2012.

But Scott was there to represent and be a role model for trans people. Not to be a feisty stereotype. And she also wanted to get paid for her work (which she stated on the IG post below). So after a month of filming for the show, and only appearing once, she bounced.

Welp 🤗 seeing as that was the 1st (and probably last) glimpse of me on #RHOA tonight and I haven't said anything about it (though the hype was craaazzzzzyyy) lmao. Let me say, I enjoyed ALL the ladies & I had a great time filming multiple scenes with them! Unfortunately due to contractual complications + the magic of editing, you won't be seeing as much of me as expected. *whispers* (I don't work for free. Lol. 😊) But everything happens for a reason & it was still an awesome experience! I'm in my 20's and when this opportunity was BROUGHT to me, It was no guarantees & I was cool with that, but I wasn't going to exploit myself or act out of character for it… I honestly saw a chance to help change the perspective of MY community, but I wanted to maintain my dignity. Housewife and Transgender aren't words that are usually associated… Funny, because anyone who knows me knows that being a housewife is a dream of mine, not on reality tv, but in real life. 👰🏽 But contrary to popular belief, I personally know transgender housewives, models, doctors, lawyers and many other successful unique individuals, along with so many others who are fighting to break the negative stigma associated with the trans community. Not to mention, a lot of our opportunities are limited due to discrimination and that's why most are forced into compromising occupations. But my point in this is to say, me filming with the #RealHousewivesOfAtlanta was not for attention, but to assist in breaking a stereotype. Trans women are not only sex objects or prostitutes. We are strong, educated & human just like everyone else. AND WE ARE HERE AND WE DEMAND RESPECT. And whatever I have to do to assist in that I will and won't regret it. Now let me call my bf and schedule a hair appointment. 😂🙃😉

A video posted by Amiyah Scott (@kingamiyahscott) on

Kandi Burruss was sad to see Scott go, saying on Instagram,”I hate that it didn’t work out. I enjoyed taping with you the few times we did tape. Bigger & Better things ahead in your future!”

But don’t worry about where Scott will collect checks from. Lee Daniels just gave her a role in his upcoming Empire spinoff. Talk about an upgrade.

Do You Tell Your Girl Her Man Is Cheating? Demetria McKinney And Kandi Burruss Say Save The “Unnecessary Trouble”

December 29th, 2015 - By Veronica Wells
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Do You Tell Your Girl Her Man Is Cheating? Demetria McKinney And Kandi Burruss Say Save The "Unnecessary Trouble"

Source: YouTube

It’s an age old question. There have been movies about made about the subject, it comes up in girl chats all the time and we all watched the drama unfold on one of the most popular reality shows on television. You all remember the situation where Demetria McKinney had to listen to her fellow castmates talk about how they’d all been romantically involved with her boo Roger Bob.

Kandi even said that the song is related to her situation with current husband Todd Tucker. Probably directed at Mama Joyce who did plenty of mudslinging when it came to her beau.

In the song they ladies sing about keeping any dirt or stories you know about their man to yourself to avoid any…you guessed it “Unnecessary Trouble.”

We get that.

But that makes us think about the question. If you know that your friend’s man is out there cheating, do you feel obligated to tell her?

We asked this question years ago, to a handful of people on the street for our old school “Madame On The Street” segment. And believe it or not many of the people said they wouldn’t say anything. They felt like if they couldn’t add anything positive to a negative situation, they wouldn’t say anything at all. They also said that if they did tell, the information might hurt their friendship and it’s just not worth it.

If you ask me, I think it depends on the type of friend and how much you know about said friend. There are some friends who you know will never take that type of information well. There are friends who won’t take it well but still decide to remain in an unfulfilling relationship. So perhaps, they would have been better off never knowing in the first place. And then there are friends who would feel betrayed if you knew and didn’t say. If you value that friendship enough and know the information won’t damage it, then you should probably tell.

What do you think?

And of course, check out the video with Demetria and Kandi below.

Kandi Burruss Gives Baby Shower To 10 Expecting Mothers

December 21st, 2015 - By Veronica Wells
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Kandi Burruss

Splash News

Kandi Burruss has always been my favorite housewife. She’s entertaining without being super messy and catty. And I personally can’t wait to see she and Todd’s baby.

Kandi and Todd have already had their baby shower, but in honor of the holiday season, she’s giving back to a few other expectant mothers.

Through her Kandi Cares organization, Burruss hosted 10 moms. The women played games, sang songs and each walked away with $500 a piece.

Mama Joyce was even there helping the ladies play some of the games.

Check out some of the videos from the event in the videos Kandi posted on her Instagram.

Kenya Moore, Glen Rice Jr. And The Problem With Only Looking Out For Black Men And Not Black Women

December 21st, 2015 - By Victoria Uwumarogie
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#PressPlay: Who watched #RealHousewivesOfAtlanta tonight 😩?

A video posted by The Shade Room (@theshaderoom) on

If you’re reading this, then chances are, you probably watched Real Housewives of Atlanta or a frantic clip from Sunday’s episode.

Glen Rice Jr., the nephew of Tammy Browning, who is the friend of Cynthia Bailey, pushed down his aunt when he and his friends were invited back to the house the ladies were staying in while in Miami.

It all started so innocently. Or something like that (maybe “freaky” is the better word). The ladies and Rice and his friends were all on a boat, drinking (a lot) while playing Never Have I Ever. We learned a lot about the sexual habits of them all. (And in the exclusive extended scene, we found out who has eaten the booty like groceries, who has paid for sex and who has given and been given a golden shower. A lot of mental images Lord knows we didn’t need.)

Things did get awkward at one moment during the boat ride when Kenya Moore snapped her fingers at Rice to get his attention. When he told her that she “damn sure” wasn’t snapping at him, she took his response as a joke and claimed Rice was a “spicy” guy. In the beginning, it was something that she seemed to like.

But in no time flat, Rice went from spicy to just drunk and irritable. Back at the ladies’ house, he snapped at Kandi Burruss for not having the response he assumed she would display after he congratulated her on her pregnancy. He told her that he was willing to play nice with folks as long as they weren’t disrespectful to him, and said he didn’t want anything to do with her. Though she was visibly annoyed and confused by his response (“Did I have an attitude?”), Burruss decided to keep her mouth shut because she’s pregnant, and she didn’t know what he was capable of with all those drinks in him: “He might be crazy.”

Rice finally took himself to the hot tub, where most of the ladies were soaking and having fun. And during that time, he proceeded to call everyone “b—h a–es” and act up in general. Moore felt that his behavior was getting more and more aggressive, so she decided to tell Browning that her nephew needed to leave.

In an intoxicated state, Browning told her nephew that he and his friends would need to go. And when Rice asked Moore what her problem was, that’s when things really went left.

Sure, she could have ignored him and allowed Tammy to try and escort him out, but she decided to tell him straight up why he needed to go, saying, “I’ve been trying to talk to you all day. You’ve been really weird. You’ve made other people feel uncomfortable here. I just want you to leave.”

That’s when he went to Moore, calling her a “little b—h” multiple times. And when security stepped in to calm him down, as did Browning to hold him back, he pushed his aunt to the ground. She hit her head and was rendered unconscious. She had to go to the hospital.

And somehow, all this was Kenya Moore’s fault.

I think we can all agree that Moore is one to stir the pot and then play victim often on the show. But let’s be honest, Rice was out of control. Blame it on the alcohol, blame it on his personality, blame it on whatever–but don’t blame Moore for that.

And while we’re on the subject, Phaedra Parks, please, let’s not compare him to Mike Brown.

I think it’s a very serious issue, the misplaced fear of Black men. And yes, some people see a threat in young Black men that is really just false intimidation, and things escalate in dangerous ways. Police are called. Guns are pulled out. Lives are lost.

But there are some situations where that fear is not misplaced, and where some men do things that are truly out of control. As Jodi Walker of Entertainment Weekly put it, “we do need to protect black men. But we also need to protect black women.” Just because we’re all Black doesn’t mean that when we feel someone is acting up, we can’t ask them to leave and just hope they’ll oblige as an individual with good sense. And just because we’re all Black doesn’t mean that we as women should sit back and take whatever happens to us. What sense does it make to look out for everyone but ourselves?

Instead of taking Moore’s opinion for what it was and just agreeing to disagree and leaving the premises, Rice got upset and made things worse. And as more drinks flowed, who knows what would have happened if he had stayed and someone said the wrong thing to him? For him to even feel comfortable enough to fuss with a pregnant woman, he clearly had zero f–ks to give.

I think people’s irritation with Kenya Moore as a character on TV causes them to fail to be able to relate to her, and the decisions she makes, some decisions that are made in the interest of looking out for self and others. And that includes her castmates, Phaedra Parks, Porsha Williams, Sheree Whitfield and Kim Fields, who all felt that she was creating a problem where there wasn’t one. And considering that Whitfield saw the way Rice talked to Burruss, and left the house after the altercation, I was surprised at her response. But as Burruss reminded everyone, “Tammy was knocked out for a few seconds. That could’ve been either one of us. He was way to [sic] aggressive for no reason.”

And during that time that Tammy was on the ground, her nephew was not preoccupied with her condition. It was the rest of the women who were there, cleaning up his mess, trying to provide her with some aid. The same women who turned around and said he didn’t seem that bad and that things were blown out of proportion.

We need to stop trying to clean up the mess of men who “didn’t seem that bad” before they did x, y and z. We need to stop trying to provide a scapegoat for grown men with misplaced anger and aggression that they feel so comfortable displaying with women. We need to stop talking about what “we didn’t see on camera” and focus on the fact that we did see a grown man shove his own family member to the ground (so he really wouldn’t have cared about strangers). We need to stop acting like just because something doesn’t happen to us, it means that the discomfort other individuals feel around someone means nothing.

And we need to stop trying to use people we don’t like, and the so-called provocation they show (a.k.a., just being themselves) as an excuse for individuals putting their hands on people. No “He was bad, but…” excuses. Kenya Moore may be a character who is hard to like, but she didn’t push Tammy Browning and knock her out cold. Who she is on TV is fakity-fake, but the violence we saw play out in a few seconds flat was all too real.