All Articles Tagged "revenge"
What’s better than watching a long, drawn out courtship and budding romance between two characters? Whether they’ve flirted with each other but never gave in to temptation, or briefly hooked up for a moment, here are 15 television pairs we wished would make it last.
Who wouldn’t root for childhood sweethearts finding true love with each other as adults? After almost 20 years apart, “Revenge’s”Amanda/Emily VanCamp and Jack Porter still harbor feelings for each other. Unfortunately, Amanda/Emily is on a quest for revenge and not love. We secretly hope she’ll forget the whole “My Dad is dead thing” and ride off into the sunset towards a happy and violent-free life with Jack.
A quote I’ve been familiar with since I was a child was “The only thing worse about losing an argument is winning one.” I mean, let’s be honest, that’s hard to not only hear but to accept as truth. Sometimes you’re going about your own business and a person who is looking to prove themselves might try to purposely provoke you. You can either attempt to put them in their place, but usually that just makes you sink lower. Or, you can ignore it, let them act a fool, but sometimes that makes you feel lower. So what should you do? Validate it, or ignore it?
I was a Sociology minor in college and one thing that we studied was the portrayal of African Americans. Now, to add on to the discussion of whether Black people are constant threats to society, a correlation that I made was that people have a tendency to want to prove their agency. In a time where we (black people) are at the bottom of society’s ladder, and besides having a black president, some black people still feel as though we are constantly looked down upon and always losing. It makes you think, “Are these people resorting to acting out to have just any small victory to cling to?” Feeling helpless in a society that disposes them, carrying the burden of responsibility we all have that every single action we make is a representation of a total race, and feeling like no matter what you do, you’re seen as lower? So, instead of trying to take the high road, some say “eff it,” and attempt to win these petty fights in an effort to feel like we’re succeeding. To somehow prove to themselves that “I can win something,” whether it’s an argument, spitting match, or fight.
So you have the people who are looking for an easy win anywhere they can, and then you have the people who have seemed to lose their social graces by spending too much time trolling on internet sites. Some of these people are so accustomed to being internet thugs and gangsters, saying what they want behind the protection of a screen, they forget that in face to face interaction, you can get it. These things, mixed together, are creating a mixture of rash behavior and stupidity that is being documented through camera phones, Youtube and Worldstar Hip Hop.
The first time I truly thought about this was after the Cleveland bus driver fiasco. While everyone was debating if the punch was warranted or not, I always wondered, why was he even arguing with the girl in the first place? The camera comes on and they’re both insulting each other. All I could think was, “If just one of them would have stopped talking…” But I feel like we’re living in a time now where it’s encouraged to put people in their places. Someone wants to say something out of pocket to you? ”Oh, you think you know who you are, but I’m about to show you who I am!” We see this type of behavior validated through the reality television shows that we watch. A look turns into words. Words turn into insults, and insults turn into violent action, and people are validated by it.
Now, let’s go to the Baltimore bus driving incident. Since recording happened while the fight was in motion, the viewers have helped them create the full picture by the comments after the scuffle is finally broken up. From the comments, the riders seem to think that the bus driver was wrong for fighting the teen and when confronting the bus driver about it, the bus driver replied, “It’s not about that, it’s about respect.” So what you’re telling me is that when she began to act a fool, you couldn’t ignore it? You had to get out of your seat to put her in her place for disrespecting you? Until more information comes out about how things started, I’ll hold my tongue, but if those punches were thrown out of the fact that you wanted to teach the girl about “respect,” did you really win?
Now I’m not going to tell you how to live your own personal lives, but I’m saying all of this because I love you (even though I don’t know you) and personally know what can happen when you’re trying to prove yourself. I’ve had two cousins within the last four years who decided to validate someone’s crazy behavior. The end result? One cousin was shot in the head in a crowd full of people and the other got stabbed, again, in a crowd full of people. The people who were egging them on to prove their point are still alive today. My cousins, who wanted to show off, aren’t.
Just realize that consequences come when you decide to validate stupidity. You might be rewarded a few extra Tfollowers, and have your name gain weight in the street but at the end, all the examples that we’ve seen recently of people validating foolishness have led to arrests, sentencings, firings and deaths.
So really, when you find yourself so consumed about wanting to win an argument, consider that the key to success is ignoring it. Consider letting the ignorant person find their own validation with someone else and don’t risk losing the amazing things you have in store for yourself over a few words. It’s not worth it.
While you ignore foolishness, you should validate Kendra Koger’s twitter account @kkoger.
Before you call me a maneater, I should point out that this wasn’t just any man; this was a three-year, on-again, off-again, ex man who got his feelings hurt by foolishly thinking that he could keep making me an option and I would continue to keep him as my priority. I totally know why he thought that, that’s how things had been for the majority of our relationship as I swallowed his explanations of why he couldn’t do this, or be there, or provide x, y, and z, and continued to put in work overtime to show him the value of investing in whatever bullcrap of a relationship we had. Eventually though, I found myself in a position of being the one getting her phone blown up, and being begged for explanations, and asked why I did this, that, and the third and you know what, it felt damn good.
It all started with taking a trip to my ex’s city. I had conveniently put up a status mentioning I was in the city, on his birthday no less, and though I know it was incredibly childish, I wanted him to know I was within arm’s reach yet didn’t bother to call. Though we had been in some sort of potential reconciliation stage a few months prior, we hadn’t spoken in months and for good reason, and not engaging him was a personal triumph for me and not necessarily a punishment for him. He called though. Almost as soon as was back in my hometown, I looked at my phone and found 24 missed calls within an 11-minute span. That’s that good old T-mobile rejection option for you—shows all the calls that came through but you don’t even have to hear them or be tempted to answer in the moment. I was curious what he had to say though and since I was far enough away that we couldn’t come in physical contact, I calmly called back and asked if something was wrong. That’s when I was grilled about where I was and why I didn’t call and when I said I was shown actions that told me he didn’t want to be called I was hung up on.
That was just the beginning. By the time my airport ride was over I had texts asking me what I was doing while in his city, why I didn’t call and when two minutes went by without a response I was called and asked why I didn’t answer, again why I didn’t call and questioned about who I was with as if he was still my man. Oh, but just in case I thought otherwise, by his obsessive inquisition, he wasn’t mad though. I obliged his questions, and repeated the details of my trip in a continuous circle as no matter whether we were talking about the sky being blue or the price of tea in China, we kept coming back to the same question of who was I messing with—again as if he deserved an answer.
In the midst of all this he somehow decided to give a speech that almost sounded like a breakup talk that I found extremely comical since in my head we’d been broken up for more than a year now. But since he wanted to let me know we were just “cool” now and nothing more, yet still continued with a modified question of whether I’d talked to anyone since we’d semi-rekindled things, I decided to be completely honest and say I had. Truthfully, the other person wasn’t even worth mentioning for the two, three weeks max that we were in contact with each other, but since my ex wanted to know and we were “just friends” now I figured I might as well appease him. I didn’t expect the reaction I got, but he obviously was fronting about how “just cool” we were because I suddenly became every name in the book other than Brande—which is very telling of a man’s character by the way—even though he wasn’t mad, he just thought it was “funny.” So funny, that he had to call me another 25 times, leave me four voicemails, send me a slew of texts about all the terrible things he wishes would happen to me, and still think that I would believe for a second he wasn’t mad, hurt (or crazy).
While I really should have been mad at the way he handled the situation, all I felt was an odd sense of satisfaction—increasingly with every call. I used to be the one blowing his phone up, asking where he was, why he wasn’t answering, why he did something to hurt me. But this time I just felt sorry for him because the more someone tries to prove to you how mad they’re not, the more you know just how hurt they are. And I wouldn’t even say it’s necessarily because he loved me so much and realized he lost me, some of his aggression was pure ego showing itself because he didn’t think I’d ever go anywhere because I’d tolerated so much, and that’s something I take responsibility for. There’s also something about not engaging someone when they want to transfer their anger to you that sets them off more than anything. I refused to stoop to his level or apologize for not doing anything wrong. I simply sent a friendly reminder that if he wanted to be mad at anyone, he should be mad at himself because he dropped the ball and didn’t step up to the plate like he should have, and from his perspective another man was now picking up where he left off, and that’s exactly where his mind needed to be.
The borderline harassment carried over to the next morning as more calls poured in nonstop from 10 am til about 10:45 the next day and when I finally answered and he claimed he wanted to talk about me “misleading” him I didn’t have time for it. Again, I reminded him that he was mad because his feelings were hurt because he had no one to blame for this situation but himself. He messed up and now he has to live with the consequence of that decision and by the sheer number of times he’s reached out to prove he’s not tripping, it’s evident he is. I, on the other hand, am chilling and relishing in the moment every woman who’s been in a bad relationship dreams about. The chance where she gets to flip the tables and transfer some of that hurt back to the person who first initiated it not in a vengeful way but more like something coming full circle. I didn’t set out to purposely inflict the level of anger, hurt, or whatever he’s going through over the course of our conversation but I can’t say I regret that he feels it, because it’s a pain I’ve known for much longer and that I won’t ever feel with him again. They say karma is a bia, and now he definitely knows it.
Have you ever felt just the slightest ounce of satisfaction when a man you’re over experiences the pain he caused you?
Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.
More on Madame Noire!
- What’s Black Enough For You?
- Grieving Over a Girlfriend: 7 Ways to Move on After a Break-up…Between Friends
- Bet You Didn’t Know: Secrets Behind the Making of “Poetic Justice”
- Am I The Problem? Finding Accountability Within
- Don’t Look Back: Are You Spending Too Much Time Obsessing Over Your Past?
- Where Are They Now? 10 Black Actresses Who Should Have Blown Up Big…
- What About Ciara? Knicks Star Amar’e Stoudemire Proposes To Mother of His Children
When someone wrongs you, whether it’s a family member, your significant other, a friend or someone on the job, your first instinct is to make them pay for what they’ve done to you. Some people believe that taking revenge is counterproductive while other people can’t wait for Karma to take effect. See what our followers had to say about revenge, whether they took it and how they felt afterward.
Samantha: FELT A LOT WORSE, BUT YOU LIVE AND YOU LEARN!
Darling: Can’t say I have. I just live my life and forget they existed . That usually works. Ppl that do wrong to folks either do one or two things . They try it again and are caught or they desperately want your attention (think Evelyn Lozada). Funny but pathetic sight I tell ya.
Veronica: I put an entry about my ex on a site called womansavers 4 revenge for how he dumped me. Felt good until he anonymously replied.
I sent a text message to my friend Whitney over the weekend asking her if she had any unidentifiable revenge stories I could use for what would ultimately be the story you’re reading right now. Instead of texting me back, she called. Being the friend that she is, Whitney helped me transform my idea into something more useful.
She asked me had I ever played the game “Angry Birds.” If you’ve ever played the game you know how addictive it can be. If you haven’t, the entire game is based on the premise of seeking revenge. In the game, the birds put all their energy into killing the pigs who stole their eggs. While it may seem like a cause worth fighting for, the birds inevitably kill themselves in the process. Whitney came up with this very simple conclusion we can apply to our relationships, romantic and otherwise: Don’t be an angry bird. Here are a few reasons why.
All good things must come to an end if a relationship is no longer salvageable between a man and woman. But what if one was responsible for its demise? After your ex dumps you for another woman (or man), you’re literally on the cusp of doing things you never thought you would do. Protecting your own sanity is a better judgment call than dreading over a relationship that was never meant to be in the first place. If they’re at fault for what occurred, here’s how to seek revenge on your ex-significant other: