All Articles Tagged "respect"
Just like couples in a relationship, it’s all too easy for friends to get lazy when the honeymoon phase is over. When you’ve finally realized you got a true friend forever who shares your love of In Living Color re-runs and Swedish Fish water ice, you may find yourself falling into behaviors and routines that slowly start to damage your bond. Check out 9 best friend bad habits you should avoid so you’re not left riding solo:
Although I hate to admit, I have been dumped a couple of times. Quite honestly, I don’t know too many people that haven’t been. It hurt like hell and left me wondering, “What did I do wrong?” Maturity has led me to realize that getting dumped probably wasn’t about me at all.
A wise friend once asked me who the most important person in my life was. At the time, I replied, “I would have to say my Mom.” He corrected me and said, “No, you are the most important person in your life.” It took me a minute to get where he was coming from, but following a further discussion I realized he was correct. At first, it may seem self-centered, but it really is very logical. Everything you do is about you even if you are doing something for someone else. It is about your choices, your beliefs, your desires, etc. Every action you take in life and every decision you make is rooted in your personal experience, which is why you are the most important person in your life.
Conceptually, I believe this is easier to digest for non-parents as good parents often put their kids first. Nevertheless, it holds true. If you don’t take care of yourself first then, you won’t be able to take care of your kids. Your very desire to put your kids first is all about your understanding and expectations of what it means to be a good parent and the same applies to relationships. We have all dated people who seemed like the perfect person on paper, but just for somebody else. And, ultimately, it wasn’t that they weren’t great it was that they just weren’t for you. Not being attracted to them or not wanting to take the relationship further ultimately had everything to do with your priorities and preferences.
Read more relationship advice at Essence.com
Somewhere John Travolta is wiping his brow since The President’s recent spelling mistake may have taken the spotlight away from him butchering Idina Menzel’s name at the Academy Awards last weekend.
Aretha Franklin, Melissa Etheridge and Patti Labelle were just a few of the guests honored at a celebration honoring the Women of Soul at the White House on Thursday hosted by the POTUS and FLOTUS. President Obama introduced Franklin’s 1967 “RESPECT” saying,
“When Aretha first told us what R-S-P-E-C-T meant to her, she had no idea it would become a rallying cry for African-Americans and women and then anyone who felt marginalized.”
So maybe spelling wasn’t our President’s favorite subject, but the man was President of the Harvard Law Review…cut him some slack. It’s obvious he recognizes the flub as the crowd erupts in laughter, but being the boss he is he continues with the tribute anyway.
Check out The President’s minor spelling mistake around the 3:25 mark below:
When Black Voices said the latest work from Sabrina Thompson would make you want to grab a Kleenex, I doubted it. But by the end of the video, I needed more than one.
In her new Social Series titled, “Marriage Is…,” Thompson, a photographer among other things, has caputured images of marriages who have been able to more than 8 years. According to the U.S. Census, the average length of a marriage is 8.8 years. While we may not be able to fully discount those statistics, Thompson wanted to focus on those who fought to beat those odds.
Sabrina Thompson started close to home, looking at her parents as an inspiration who have been married for 40 years. Her goal is to show the younger generation that this type of commitment can happen.
Backed by Robin Thicke’s “Sweetest Love,” the couples’ marriages range from 10 years to 70 years. The latter also serves as the final still in the video and by then, you’re probably fighting to see through the tears.
It is quite moving to see what sacrifice, love and respect looks like through these images. Anyone with half a brain knows that making a life together isn’t easy and we’re sure these couples have worked hard at it everyday, so for that, we salute them!
We urge you to share this video with all of your family and friends.
From Single Black Male
I come today speaking on a common issue that men deal with: the women whom men want to “know their place.” These are the women who don’t want to play that part or don’t know that a guy placed them in that role. I know this is a touchy and brash sort of topic. I’m very much ready to explain all that I am about to say. In the non Platonic world, men have two types of women in mind: women they don’t mind dating and women who they only want to have sex with. The truth is that in the latter case that’s all they want to be to that woman. Like many dating/sexual scenarios, it’s just never that simple. There are always confounding variables that can make things a little more confusing. Deception runs rampant between men and women. We try to be as verbally pleasing as possible, cushioning each other’s emotions for our own peace of mind. I don’t necessarily think this is the right way to go but many of us have been guilty of it.
It pays to be clear on the kind of relationship you have with someone. The main reason why guys get upset with women who end up wanting more than what they want is because that woman isn’t fully aware of his intentions. I had a friend in college who was aware of a girl I was dealing with. He knew that to me it really wasn’t anything serious. Here and there this girl wanted to really kick it on campus and I just wasn’t with it. I didn’t want to give off the vibe that I was interested in more than what we were already doing. I wasn’t mean about it. That’s just not what I wanted to do.
I’m not in the business of leading women on. I never have been and I never will be. He affectionately named this girl “stay here” insinuating that all I needed her to do was simply stay where she was and only come around when called upon. Now this was hilarious to me but in reality it’s pretty cold right? As harsh as it sounded, his nickname illustrated my feelings completely. It became clear to me that maybe I wasn’t clear on what this arrangement was.
Read more at SingleBlackMale.org
Most of us grew up in a household where “yes ma’am” and “no ma’am” was the norm when responding to an adult. We were taught to say please and thank you, refrain from interrupting conversations, and hold the door for people. It only took so many glares and spankings if we ever forgot these life lessons — and these signs of respect never left most of us as we became adults.
Unfortunately there are certain celebs who think they are immune to such niceties and respectable behavior and have racked up quite the reputation for rudeness. If only they followed Aretha’s advice and gave a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T…
Don’t let the beautiful face fool ya! Notorious for her lateness, supermodel Naomi Campbell is also known for hitting her helpers — from assistants to therapists. Many people in her path suffer the wrath of her mean streak and nothing seems to keep her outrageous behavior in check – not even five-o. She was detained for assaulting two police officers as well.
Jada Pinkett Smith is taking another shot at addressing the persistent rumors that she and hubby Will Smith have an open marriage. The actress took to her Facebook page this past weekend to comment on the public’s preoccupation with the goings-on in her bedroom because, you know, we have to know. First and foremost, wrote Jada, is “trust and love.” That would include agreeing that one doesn’t “own” the other.
“Do we believe that ownership is the reason someone should ‘behave?’” she asked “Do we believe that all the expectations, conditions, and underlying threats of “you better act right or else” keep one honest and true?”
Jada added that she trusts Will, and he the same. “Will and I BOTH can do WHATEVER we want, because we TRUST each other to do so,” she wrote. “This does NOT mean we have an open relationship…this means we have a GROWN one.”
So we get the whole bit about Will and Jada’s marriage being none of our business, (because, really, it isn’t) but her open letter has us thinking about the expectations we so often bring into relationships. How many of us can really say that we allow our significant other to be who they really want to be?
Read more at Essence.com