Source: lipstickmanual.com

“You know better than to be walking around with your head lookin’ like that.”

“Why do you want your hair to look all wild and wooly like that?”

 “You can’t go up there with them White folks lookin’ like that.”

“You need to comb that mess.”

“Why don’t you straighten it and part in on the side and tuck it under?”

Nice little drive-by of insults, huh? Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, right?

This is what I came home to on summer breaks from college. Back then, I was a cowardly little thing, so, to avoid the ridicule I would either pull my afro back into a tight neat bun or just give the fight all the way up and straighten my hair until I got back to my safe haven of self-expression: college.

The comments didn’t bother me as much as the fact that this outright dislike for my natural hair was coming from the mother who expressly forbade my sister and me to get relaxers in our adolescence. Now, in my adult years, they were scolding my exploration of my God-given, naturally-grown kinks. Er? My mother had a huge afro in her twenties! Either way, my full head of curly hair wasn’t something she wanted to see out and about.

Let me back up to the 6^th grade. I hated my hair. My mother kept my hair blown out in three or four braids and she stood by her decision to keep my hair chemical-free, citing complete baldness as a sure thing if I got a relaxer at that age. To an 11-year-old who is getting bullied every day by the other little black girls – all of whom HAVE relaxers – those lectures went in one ear and right out the other. I cried. A lot. I changed my hair at the bus stop. I developed a detrimentally frequent relationship with handfuls of thick, slick grease and any form of intense direct heat I could get my hands on: an old school, set-it-on-the-stove-till-it-smokes hot comb; a rusted, gold curling iron that left more burn marks on my ears and neck than it straightened my hair; a blow dryer with the standard fine-toothed comb attachment that when raked through my thick kinks, murdered my scalp, but left my hair LAID. At least until I’d sweat or take a bath. Then those little curly Qs would pop up all over in a frizzy mess. At one point with angry and frustrated tears in both eyes, I grabbed a severely rusted pair of industrial-sized seamstress’s scissors, sat behind the couch and cut off my wildly frizzy bangs, right down to the scalp. My mom freaked, but still no relaxer.

Granted, I know the ‘no-relaxers’ policy saved my hair and maybe it was easier for my mother to fire up a hot comb or plug in a blow dryer, but what was I learning in that process? Though she didn’t believe in putting a relaxer in my head, she felt that straight hair was and is the “right” way to wear my hair. I took this standard and internalized it. Yes, I was told by my mother that I had ‘good hair,’ but if my hair was ‘good’ then why wasn’t a pony puff or full ‘fro ever acceptable? Without realizing it, for years I believed that my freshly washed frizzy curls were “nappy,” ugly and in need of manipulation. Not because my mom TOLD me they were but because she SHOWED me they were by praising the “straighter” versions of my hair and shunning the curlier. Straighten it, part it on the side and curl it under. THAT’S the ticket.

In the end, I was more comfortable in my natural hair at college than at home. I didn’t want to fight my hair anymore. I wanted to embrace it. I wanted to make it work–and I did. My ‘fro became my trademark so much so that my friends and the PROVOST OF THE UNIVERSITY called me “Puff Puff.” It was hilarious back then, but it speaks volumes now. Something I had feared and deemed ugly – others loved and embraced. The old slavery time stigma of ‘good’ hair versus ‘bad’ hair had reached into my family and I never even recognized its grasp until now. Just a few weeks ago my sister, mother and cousin made me relax their hair. I might have been less reluctant to do it if I was certain that they had no complex about their own hair and that they just didn’t have the time to dedicate to natural hair care, but each of them sees their natural hair as ugly in some sense. That saddens me, but I’ve accepted that not everything is for everybody. Straight hair is no longer my standard of beauty. Well-maintained hair is, no matter what that looks like. I see the beauty now in what my hair naturally is. However, I’m careful not force my new views of black hair on my family. All I can do is what fits me.

The straight, “side part under” may have been the safe thing to do back in the day, but today is a new day and I am bold. I’m redefining ‘beautiful,’ ‘acceptable,’ and ‘correct,’ for myself. Does my mother like it? Not always. Every now and then she’ll tell me to “Do something with that mess,” and I shrug it off. I’ll keep my twist outs. I got a taste of freedom and I’m not going back. No shade to the faithful creamy crack users – do you. But for me? I had to lose the hold my family’s warped perception of black hair had on me and interpret my hair and my image for myself. The feeling is unparalleled and so is the growth – both internally and atop my head.

La Truly is a Natural-haired, late-blooming Aries with lots to say. Her writing is powered by a lifetime of anecdotal proof that awkward can transform to awesome and fear can cast its crown before courage. Armed with the ability to purposefully poke fun at herself La seeks to encourage thought, discussion and positive change. Check out her thoughts/jokes/rants on Twitter: @AshleyLaTruly and her young women’s empowerment blog: www.hersoulinc.com.

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If you’re on Facebook long enough, you’re bound to find something to pique your interests, whether it’s ratchet, enlightening, inspirational or disturbing, something will catch your attention. And today I just so happened to stumble upon a very disturbing image.

The picture, which was originally linked to a post on Green and Gorgeous , is that of a baby less than five months old, whose hair has been straightened. From the brief correspondence, we can’t tell whether this baby’s hair was relaxed, flat ironed or hot combed. But whatever method this parent used, the fact that he/she straightened a five month old’s hair, borders on a Child Protective Services violation. As Jennae Petersen of Green and Gorgeous mentioned:

… Relaxers. Freaking. Burn. I say this from years of experience that started when I was in third grade. And babies have tender, sensitive scalps, so I imagine that putting relaxer on an infant’s head for more than a minute or two would result in burning. Also? Hot combs. Freaking. Burn. I can still remember, at age 5 or 6, cringing in my aunt’s kitchen whenever the hot comb got anywhere near my neck or ears. I remember how terrible it burned when my aunt’s hands slipped. I remember the smell of my hair burning. And this is when I was old enough to sit still for the process. If a hot comb was used on this baby, do you really think she was able to sit still while it was being done?

Thankfully, the child looks fine but this business of straightening an infant’s hair was dangerous and reckless to say the least. One uncoordinated, infant-like turn, squirm or slide could have been catastrophic. This baby would have had a burn on her face or scalp, all because her parent wanted her hair straightened.

At 5 months your priorities should be eating, letting somebody know when your diaper needs to be changed, trying to get people to pick you up, growing, playing and sleeping. That’s really about it. A 5 month old just shouldn’t have to sit through a hair straightening session.

Maybe the hair straightening was just the action of a bored parent–which is a whole other problem. But most likely, the straightening of this hair was trying to achieve some type of beauty standard. In which case, I fear that type of messages this girl will receive as she starts to further process the actions of her guardians. Before this infant was able to speak, walk or feed herself, her parent has told her that her hair is a priority and must be straightened, even at the endangerment of her safety.

For the record, I’m natural and I fully believe in health benefits of forgoing the use of texture-altering chemicals. However, I also believe, wholeheartedly, that a woman, or even young lady, should be able to choose how she’s going to wear her hair. As a child who had a relaxer at 5 years old, I wasn’t given that choice. It didn’t matter at all at five. But at 18, when I decided to cut the perm out of my hair, I wondered how my hair experiences would have been different if I’d never had a perm. Would I have learned how to swim? Would I have had to worry about breakage? Who knows, but if drastic hair decisions like whether or not to apply a relaxer had waited until I was old enough and mature enough to make them, perhaps I would have chosen something different. And that’s an opportunity I fear this parent is robbing this baby of already, at five months.

Some will argue that this is just hair and really not that deep. That’s partially true, hair itself is not that deep but the way we feel about our hair–whether it grows from our scalp, someone else’s or is manufactured in a lab–and how our hair makes us feel about ourselves is very important. It’s is a form of self expression, a source of beauty and for a lot of women, a form of self acceptance. Hopefully, these parent(s) aren’t teaching their daughter to devalue her hair, as it grows out of her scalp before she learns that as a baby, girl and woman, she’s so much more than that.

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We all know how difficult it can be to keep up a workout routine and maintain our hair’s vibrancy at the same time. For the non-natural sistas, Mizani stylist Rod Horton offers up tips on how to protect your hair style while exercising.

Let us know what you think of this third episode of our hair series Relaxed & Real.

Want more Madame Noire Hair Videos….check out links below:

NATURAL HAIR

• Noire Naturals – The Natural Twist Out
• Noire Naturals – Maintaining Your Twist-Out Style
• Noire Naturals – Creating A Sophisticated Elegance
• Noire Naturals – Accessorizing a Sophisticated Updo

RELAXED HAIR

• Relaxed & Real – From Daytime To Evening
• Relaxed & Real – How To Prep Your Hair Before A Relaxer
• Relaxed & Real – Protective Styles For Working Out

WEAVES

• Weave Wisdom – How To Prepare For A Good Weave
• Weave Wisdom – How To Install A Hair Weave
• Weave Wisdom – How To Maintain A Hair Weave

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Did you know that you shouldn’t exercise within a day of getting a relaxer? Mizani stylist Rod Horton offers up this tip and others in the second episode of our hair series Relaxed & Real.

Check out the rest of his tips and let us know what you think.

Want more Madame Noire Hair Videos….check out links below:

NATURAL HAIR

• Noire Naturals – The Natural Twist Out
• Noire Naturals – Maintaining Your Twist-Out Style
• Noire Naturals – Creating A Sophisticated Elegance
• Noire Naturals – Accessorizing a Sophisticated Updo

RELAXED HAIR

• Relaxed & Real – From Daytime To Evening
• Relaxed & Real – How To Prep Your Hair Before A Relaxer
• Relaxed & Real – Protective Styles For Working Out

WEAVES

• Weave Wisdom – How To Prepare For A Good Weave
• Weave Wisdom – How To Install A Hair Weave
• Weave Wisdom – How To Maintain A Hair Weave

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By Esi Mensah

Okay, so we all know that dyeing your hair can be terribly bad for your hair’s health. But let’s be real though, haven’t you ever wanted to rock that Beyoncé or Rihanna look? You know, but without wearing a wig that is so obviously a wig? Sorry, but the uber-bright Nicki Minaj look does not work for everyone! So what can you do to get that beautiful color without your hair looking dry or completely falling out?
Since dyeing your hair weakens your hair by decreasing its moisture and more, it’s important that you take certain steps to maintain your hair’s health. Here are some tips that will help you take better care of your colored hair:

It seems like everywhere you look, folks are doing the big chop! Although many women are donning a short cropped look for style purposes, many others are cutting off their locks to speed up the transition from relaxed to natural.

Although cutting your chemically-treated hair is a quick and fast option, for those not ready to take that leap, there are ways you can ease your transition. Here are a few tips:

Consult a consultant. When starting your journey, why not meet with a hair stylist who specializes in natural hair? She can not only recommend products, but also provide you information about protective hair styling options.

Moisturize. Keeping your hair nourished and conditioned is a must for any hair type, but especially critical when you’re caring for two different textures. Chemically-treated hair tends to be weaker than natural hair, so it’s very important to deep condition weekly and use natural oils to keep it supple during the week in order to avoid breakage. One option to aid your transition is the Transitioning 1-2-3 kit from Carol’s Daughter, the first hair care system that specifically targets transitioners. It includes a cleanser, scalp spray, and anti-breakage treatment.

Lay low on heat: Again, since you’re caring for two textures and want to protect against breakage, it’s critical to style your hair with as little direct heat as possible.

Trim: We all get behind on our trims from time to time, but you can’t let that happen when you’re transitioning. Getting regular trims will help promote healthy growth, reduce breakage, and just give you an overall more polished look.

YouTube and Uncover The Blogs: I bet you’re wondering, where do you find out about these new style options? YouTube of course. The resources for natural hair has exploded in recent years past so you won’t be short of any blog videos to choose from. You can also go directly to the blogger’s websites for more information. One great resource is Afrobella.com

Happy transitioning!

Singer Sheryl Crow once said that “A change would do you good,” and when it comes to hair, she was probably talking about me. I don’t really believe in rocking one style for too long because I’m one of those people who will get antsy really fast, see other people’s styles and think, “Now THAT would look great on me!” In the time that I’ve gone all chameleon with my hair, I’ve done many a thing that have caused me to lose some hair, as well as have it grow like weeds on an unkempt lawn. Thought I’d share a few of those hair lessons with you as you go on your own hair journeys.

Confidence Is Everything

Back when I went to the salon and allowed the beautician to put clippers to hair I had been trying to have grow long for years, when it was all over and I looked in the mirror, I didn’t like what I saw. You could see my scalp! And as a woman with a larger head, the results weren’t as fabulous immediately like I thought they would be. But one day I went to work and a co-worker told me the look fit me well, and after some thought, I agreed that it wasn’t so bad after all. Little did I know that being confident about the look would inspire other people. Customers used to walk in the store I worked at and tell me they loved my hair, and after a while I was walking past mirrors thinking, “Yeah, I love it too…”

Me with my natural hair

Ever since I was in 3rd grade my mother had been giving me relaxers.  I was born with a large amount of hair, and for my mother, relaxing it was the easiest thing for her to do for me and my three other sisters.  I never thought about natural hair until Cycle 5 of America’s Next Top Model, when I was introduced to Bre Scullark.  Oh my goodness, her glorious curls were so bouncy and voluptuous that I began to think that if I went natural, my hair would look exactly like that.

So, in May of 2008, I gave myself the big chop.  Cutting off a total of 16 inches off my head I boldly walked around my college campus with a heightened awareness of my scalp.  But, I persevered through the awkward looks, the need to overcompensate by wearing more makeup and jewelry,and admitting to myself that for years I found a security of having… hair my entire life.  Honestly, there wasn’t a lot of support for girls who were going natural where I was.  All of the salons that I went to for help only wanted to straighten my hair, and it seemed like people were comfortable with a girl with long curly hair, or short straight hair.  But having short, curly hair (that didn’t turn out to be the texture that I hoped for) was sometimes looked down upon by people in grocery stores, on the street, or in restaurants.

Having natural hair is hard work, and I thought I would have a texture of “wash and go” like my friend Janea, but I didn’t.  I bought multiple products to help me manage, and ended up returning some, throwing away many, and just rolling my eyes at the mention of others.  After a year and five months, I had the length that I had in the first picture.  I was natural and LOVED it!  I would preach the glories of not being ashamed of “whatever texture of your hair that grows out of your head, but embrace it!”  I didn’t mind spending the $32 a jar for my Miss Jessie’s Baby Buttercreme, and doing a twist out became a welcomed chore.

However, when I got pregnant I developed a type of lethargic-ness that Sleeping Beauty would have envied.  I got my morning sickness from 2 to 5 in the morning, and during the days I worked as a book editor.  My husband and I shared a car (and he didn’t have a license), so sometimes I would have to drive him to work and to help his family complete errands.  I was always mentally and physically exhausted.  The last thing that was on my mind was my hair.  I spent most of my second trimester in summer, so I was always hot and my thick hair actually began to anger me.  It was just so thick and… everywhere;  and no matter where I went, some stranger was always trying to stick their hands in my head (or rub my stomach.  Please strangers, if you don’t personally know a woman who’s pregnant, and have natural hair, at LEAST ask for her permission before you start invading her bubble with all the touching).    All I wanted to do was to shave my head so I wouldn’t be so hot and uncomfortable.

From BlackVoices.com

thinkstock.com

A child is sat down. She is screaming. Why is she being forced to do this? It burns her scalp. It really burns her scalp. After this procedure, she is inserted into a high-temperature contraption. It is hot. She is crying. After being removed from the contraption, more heat is applied to her scalp. An irritated individual assures her that sobbing will only drag out the process. Finally, after many tears and many burns, the procedure is done. Look in the mirror, little girl. You are not hideous anymore. Smile — your hair is now straight.

For the full story, visit BlackVoices.com.

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From StyleBlazer.com

In case you have been living under a rock, natural hair is the way to go. Whether you prefer it for its protective hair-styling options or for the kinks, coils or curls, natural hair is here to stay!  Some of our favorite celebrities have jumped on the bandwagon, often by doing the BC (‘big chop’ to you non-naturals) and have been rocking natural hair in ways we absolutely love. Check out these au natural’ celebs who have ditched the creamy crack for curling custard instead.

For the fab photo gallery, visit StyleBlazer.com.

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