All Articles Tagged "relationship"
Men can be vocal about what they want from their significant others, sometimes expecting them to anticipate their needs or indulge their desires. Yet, they don’t always express what they would like to do with their partners. So, here’s a list of things that your man might like to do with you, in regards to entertainment, sex, and hobbies, that you might not have thought of.
When love seems eternal, some men like to signify that by having the both of you mark one another with a token of affection, like an image or name written on the other person’s body. The latter idea is kind of a terrible idea, so even if your man doesn’t want you to tattoo his lips on your hips, or put his initials on your body, a lot of men simply enjoy getting tattoos with their significant other and hitting up the tattoo parlor together for a quick thrill.
We Do More Arguing Than Talking: How To Deal And What It Means When You And Your Man Can’t Seem To Stop Fighting
Every couple does it …and I’m not talking about sex, I’m referring to arguing, bickering, quarreling or whatever you’d like to call it. All normal couples fight–be it about jealousy, differences, anxieties, money, sex, work, forgetfulness, children or housework, everyone’s doing it.
There’s nothing wrong with a bit of disagreement. In fact, it can put things into perspective, it can reveal truth, and it can provide understanding about exactly where you and your partner stand in your relationship. However, it’s when you aren’t able to stop fighting that you should be concerned. When arguments become ongoing, trouble seems to brew just as things seem to finally settle, or light bickering becomes biting remarks, then you need to consider what’s happening beneath the surface of all that back-and-forth.
Depending solely on your situation and the level of growing animosity between the two of you, this fighting can mean a number of things –though probably not anything good. While the reasons why couples fight have already been indicated, the underlying explanation for why couples perpetually fight hasn’t been. The roots of these fights can be as basic as one person always made to feel wrong, made to feel inadequate, not feeling valued or appreciated, not properly healing from a previous relationship, the relationship not being made a priority, or issues with commitment. But because of insecurities and a shared inability to be honest, couples tend to argue about everything except the actual issue. When you and your significant other find that you’re in the same argument over and over again, there’s a strong possibility that either someone feels that they aren’t being heard or something important isn’t being said.
So, if you’re afraid that you’re in a crumbling relationship that’s ruled by anxiety and confrontation, there are a few things you can do to assess the situation, and the first thing you can do is sit down and sort out the facts. Divide fact from fiction, worries from realities, and write down the last few arguments that you’ve had, what sparked those conversations, what ended those arguments …if those arguments ended, what escalated the arguments, how disputes are usually resolved, what the patterns are, and if there is something that you want to convey to your significant other that you’re not able to say. You can easily ask your significant other to do the same, hoping that if they are as committed to the relationship as you are, they won’t take issue with putting aside time to understand the complications in your relationship. The aim is to be as honest as possible when examining the rifts in your relationship, and eventually have a candid discussion about the conclusions that you’ve come to. Remember, when you’re sharing your thoughts and feelings, try not to sound accusatory, and be sure that you’re both being heard. If you two are able to get through a frank and honest conversation, and prevail at a better place than you were before, then you should be comforted by the durability of your relationship.
Have you been getting the, “Not tonight” line a lot lately? We won’t sugarcoat it: it is weird for a physically healthy male to be turning down easy, available sex. And you might be causing his lack of libido, without knowing it. Here’s How:
Most men tend to hide their feelings and emotions, but when a man is in love, you’ll know right off the bat. Even if he tries to hold back his feelings, rarely is a man ever able to successfully conceal being in love with a woman. If you’ve been in a long-term relationship that has grown and strengthened over the years, it’s likely that your guy is head over heels for you. But just in case you aren’t sure, here are 15 tried and true signs.
Having a busy career that you’re well vested in is plenty admirable, but at the same time, having a life that revolves around work can be tiring, dull, and even a bit lonely. A lot of women who are very involved in their careers often forget to set aside time for themselves. Trips to the spa, the mall, and going on dates just aren’t commonalities. Dating and your career can go hand-in-hand, when you approach the situation appropriately. Here are 14 ways to be a successful career woman while successfully playing the dating game.
A while ago I attended a party with a few friends and co-workers. While everyone was dancing, eating and drinking, I sat down next to one of my friends and we began to chat about the atmosphere. As we chatted and gazed around the room, we noticed something a little odd. We noticed that a mutual associate of ours was wrapped in a very intimate embrace with her main male squeeze…nothing too peculiar about that, but what was odd was that while we observed her intimately embracing her main squeeze, we also saw the man she was dating on the side standing next to them, watching them as they embraced; and not only that, during the embrace, she gazed into the male “Misteress’” eyes and he smiled at her. When this moment ended, they all stood there talking and laughing as if they were all best friends.
Now this may not seem strange to some, but it was to my friend and I who were observing this scene, because both men seemed aware that she was being intimately involved with both of them. Again, this may not seem too out of the ordinary for some, but ladies what I want to know is, is it okay for a woman to have her main squeeze and her side dish get along, especially when they both know about her relationship with them both?
Some may say yes, as long as both men know where they stand, and they aren’t disrespectful to each other, which is a very valid point; but how respectful is it knowing that the woman they are involved with is intimately involved with someone else? And you know who he is! Personally, I think this is disrespectful to both men, and the woman. Why? Because both men deserve to be with one woman who will engage in a healthy, monogamous relationship with them, and give them all of the attention they need (if that’s what they want). It also shows disrespectful actions from the woman. How? Because as a woman, she should have more respect for her man and herself, and should respect the relationship she is involved in. Now I know many of you may be thinking, but men do this all the time and no one seems to have a problem with it! While this may be true, what we fail to realize is that some mistresses do struggle with being the other woman; but they keep their struggle inside.
Relationships are hard to maintain with two people involved, and when there is a third or even fourth party involved, things can really get crazy because of the emotional attachments that can occur. It is my personal belief that it is not cool for a woman to have her main squeeze and her side dish get a long, or even know each other at all, because as I stated previously, it’s disrespectful to the men involved and the relationship(s). Even if the men involved are okay with knowing each other and knowing their position, you never know what they are saying about the woman behind her back to each other, and other men. The art of discretion is a gift that is a part of a woman’s natural being. Practicing discretion as a woman is a must, especially when it comes to our intimate affairs and our relationships. If you have a main squeeze and a side dish, or you’re just seeing multiple guys at one time, keep them separate for your own self-respect, and for the sake of the self-respect of the men involved. Even if they don’t care, you should because showing and giving a man the respect they deserve in any type of relationship will make you a better woman and them a better man.
Ladies do you think it’s cool for a woman to have their main squeeze and their side dish know each other?
Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For? Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin.
Bisexuality, for most, simply means duality: the attraction to both the same sex and the opposite sex –male and female. To some, however, bisexuality is reduced to promiscuity –individuals who are considered so perverse that they don’t exclude either sex from their conquests or attractions. And, that notion is perpetuated by many aspects of the media, predominately television; along with the idea that bisexuality is neither a real identity nor a lifestyle choice, but a way for men to curtain their “true” gay identities, and an opportunity for women to engage in non-emotional sexualized play –and that thought directly correlates to the onset of biphobia in waking generations.
Bisexuality is by no means a new occurrence in nature. Throughout recorded history, various humane societies and the animal kingdom have been documented as having explored bisexuality. Ancient Greece and Ancient Rome are prime examples of civilizations recognized as having bisexual tendencies, and the squid, the Bottlenose dolphin and black swans are just on the short list of animals who like to swim at both ends of the metaphoric pool.
The fact that bisexuality is documented does not dissuade naysayers from objecting and volunteering their opinions on the matter. The gray-middle ground, where bisexuality lies, upsets people because it isn’t black or white. Men who love men are always considered to be gay, and are rarely accepted as being bisexual. If he is seen with a woman after he’s already been perceived as gay, then she’s a “f*g hag” or a “beard,” and he’s jumping back inside the closet. And, this is often the opinion from both gay and straight bystanders, who are waiting for him to finally admit he’s gay or to keep lying to himself, and presumably be on the down-low. This is not the case at all, if a bisexual man happens to marry a woman, he is no more inclined to cheat on his wife than a heterosexual man, or he would his husband. To assume that he would have to live a double life in order to satisfy his urges suggests that people don’t believe that bisexuals are able to maintain healthy and loving relationships without straying.
And, for bisexual women, the problem is entirely different. The assumption is that bisexual encounters between two women only happen when alcohol is involved, or during experimentation. Or, if there is a relationship, then it is just a phase. These women are expected to be having “fun” prior to the presumably superior life of hetero-normality. This, again, is reductive. The assumption not only cheapens the idea of female sexual experiences of women, but it suggests that a same sex relationship involving a bisexual woman is not a lasting one.
The challenge for society is to understand that fluidity in sexuality doesn’t simply occur when a person is drunk or horny (not every bi-person is hetero-flexible or straight-when-sober), it occurs through actualized attractions and personal honesty. Bisexuality can become more accepted if individuals refrain from jumping to conclusions about another person’s sexuality based on who others are dating or having sex with –also being candid and frank about one’s own attractions makes people less bigoted toward other people’s attractions and choices.
Q: I need your advice for the problem I’m facing now. I’ve been dating my boss for nearly a year and we agree to hide our relationship from our colleagues because we want to avoid any gossip that might affect our working environment. Fortunately, both of us can separate our personal and professional relationship. Well, until now.
He is a nice man and he likes to flirt with the girls in the office. He does it jokingly, but unfortunately, many people misunderstand his gestures. They think that he’s falling in love with them. Right now, the real problem is with his assistant. She and my boyfriend are very close professionally and personally. One day, I accidentally read their messages, and I found out that their relationship has become more than just friendly. She was admitting that they are dating each other. At that time, I told my boyfriend about this and asked him to let me out of his life if he really likes his assistant.
He insisted on maintaining our relationship and convinced me that the messages were only romantic words, which meant nothing to him because he was just being nice to her. He told me that she must have just misunderstood. I know that she has a tough life and she is a lonely girl. I just thought that she might need someone who can be there for her and she found it in my boyfriend and therefore considered him her boyfriend too. Either way, this matter is still annoying me and I cannot control my heart and my mind every time I see them together. She doesn’t know that he is my boyfriend, and she always tells me stories about what happened between both of them and even sometimes asks me for some advice. I’m trying to be neutral, and not say too much, because I just want to be fair to both of them. It really breaks my heart and it’s distracting.
My boyfriend knows about how I feel and always convinces me that he loves me and will not cheat on me. My heart says that I can trust him. Please, tell me what I should do. How I can control my jealousy? Should I still trust him? I would really appreciate for your help. Thank you!
See what advice celebrity psychologist Sherry Blake has for this woman on Essence.com.
I have been with my boyfriend six years, and we’ve lived together for four of them. I have never pressured him about marriage, and we have talked about it happening, but I’m starting to give up hope. While I feel content with our relationship, I’m becoming insecure about why he hasn’t asked me yet. I know it’s just a piece of paper, but I’d like to have the commitment before we have kids. On another note, he is the first man I’ve been with that has a very low sex drive—we go for weeks without having sex. As a professional, I’m asking, is this a red flag?
See what celebrity psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake has to say about this situation on Essence.com.
Q: Hi! I’m 23 years old, from New York, and I’ve never been in a serious relationship. How can I improve my dating life? It is really hard for me to meet any guy who’ll actually like me. Can you give me some suggestions? Being single sucks for real, especially if you are a person who stays inside the house during weekends.
See what celebrity psychologist Sherry Blake has to say about this situation on Essence.com.