All Articles Tagged "racist"
“Dear Prudence, My boyfriend and I have been dating for six months but have known each other for more than two years. I am black and he is white. This has never been a problem and our parents, families, and friends are fully supportive of our relationship. Amazingly, we have had precious few arguments or problems. Until now. In a moment of extreme frustration, my boyfriend used the “N-word” in reference to one of my friends. We were alone so no one else heard the comment. I was stunned, shocked, and appalled. I immediately left the room because I was so disturbed. It is a word that neither I nor my family or friends use in any sort of context because I have been raised to view it as incredibly offensive. He came to me and apologized profusely and had tears in his eyes while doing so. I accepted his apology because it was completely out of character for him, but I am now questioning our relationship. What do you think?- UnspeakableIn her advice to Unspeakable, Prudence suggest that despite her acceptance of his apology, she is not quite over his use of the N-word. However, since she cares for the man, which is evident by her not breaking up with him instantly, Prudence says that she must re-raise the issue with the boyfriend, giving him a chance to better explain his reasoning for using such derogatory language and give herself time to not only gauge his sincerity, but determine if she can fully accept his apology and move on.
“On these matters, my decision-rule is a simple one. People are what they do. People who say racist things are racists. People who say homophobic things are anti-gay. People who say sexist things are sexist. Of course, there are ranges of behavior here. A person who calls someone a N-Word, and is then apologetic about it, is a different type of racist than someone who holds a K.K.K.K.Klan card. However, both party’s attitudes and beliefs flow from the same fetid waters. In many ways, the latter is simply more honest and direct than the former about what is a basic disrespect towards the humanity and dignity of black and brown people.”A few days after September 11th, one of my best girlfriends called me and told me about how she had been pulled over in her car by police for no reason. Nothing unusual about that. However, this story takes a weird turn when she shares that one of the cops started asking her about her “head scarf” in her driver’s license picture. All of a sudden, they wanted to know about her Islamic background and her land of “origin.” I was beyond shocked. This was not some hillbilly town in East Jablip of America. This is Philadelphia, a city where a very significant portion of the black and brown population in the city practice within the Islamic faith. We don’t get down like that. And that’s what I told the guy I was dating at the time. He smirked, rolled his eyes and said, “Good I’m glad they searched her. They need to send all them bean pie eating terrorists back to the middle east.” If I was shocked before, I was totally rendered speechless then. Here is someone, who I had been with for a good year and who had spent significant time around my good girlfriend before. As far as I was concerned, there was nothing about him, which gave me any indication that he had problems with Muslims. Worse, even after I told him how disrespectful, offensive and ignorant his comments were, he had the nerve to double down on his xenophobia. I officially broke up with him after that conversation. And while his anti-Muslim hatred wasn’t the full reason, that incident definitely helped me to see this guy in a new light. The events of Sept. 11, 2001 were horrible. And the blatant ignorance and hatred, which spawned from such tragic events is also shameful. And I didn’t want any parts of that. Besides, my best girlfriend is like family to me, and her faith is a pretty big part of her. Therefore, if I had to choose between my boyfriend and my best friend, well, bye hater. There is also something that needs to be said about boundaries and why it is important to not only define them, but follow through with them. I’m not going to say whether or not the letter-writer should leave her boyfriend of two years, but I will say that if she believes his apology to be sincere and decides to continue on with the relationship, she better make it clear that there will be no more N-bombs dropping out of his mouth. I don’t care if we are at a concert together, and Trinidad James hands my white boyfriend the microphone, and personally invites him to sing all the lyrics to “All Gold Everything.” He better stick to the radio edit. But she should also consider the very real possibility that whatever bigotry he harbors will likely always be simmering beneath the surface. And generally, people don’t always monitor their mouths too closely, especially if there is alcohol involved. The last thing you want is for your racist significant other to go blurt out the “N-Word” at a public event such as a family barbecue. Now, you’re in the uncomfortable position of trying to not only ask for some understanding, but calm the nerves of those family members, who don’t give a hot damn about understanding. And now everybody starts treating you like Sandra Bullock… So what do you think: Could you be an Edith to some man’s Archie Bunker?
ABOUT THIS EPISODE
If there’s any topic that gets Black women riled up it’s interracial dating. Though most of us have tucked our reactions into the “I don’t care pile,” a number of us are still known for having a bit of a ‘tude when we see a White woman on a Black man’s arm. But why? Are we jealous? Do we think the chosen White woman sees herself as some kind of trophy? Do we want Black men all to ourselves? These are the types of assumptions that are being made on all sides of the coin, so why not get to the bottom of these misconceptions and address them as best we can? That’s what we did in our new series, “I Always Wanted To Ask.”
Yesterday, we gave you an intro to the series and some background info on the ladies whose opinions are included. Now it’s time to delve into the convo. This is “I Always Wanted To Ask:” Interracial Dating.
KEEP THE DISCUSSION GOING WITH MORE EPISODES OF I ALWAYS WANTED TO ASK.
CLICK HERE TO WATCH!
A little over a week ago, everybody but Serena Williams had something to say about Caroline Wozniacki. She’s the Danish tennis player who stuffed her bra and her skirt with towels during a tennis match against Maria Sharapova in what everybody who wasn’t black thought was a hilarious impersonation of Serena Williams.
I, personally, didn’t see what was necessary about her mockery — let alone funny — but according to Serena, no one should be taking the stunt so seriously. In an email to USA Today yesterday, she finally responded to the issue, writing:
“I know Caro and I would call her my friend and I don’t think she (meant) anything racist by it.”
Adding that she didn’t bother to watch the viral video, Serena insisted there’s nothing unique or malicious about what Wozniacki did.
“(Roddick) and (Djokovic) do it all the time and Caro does (it) and now it’s racist.??”
“At the end of the day I spend my time focused on things to become better and not bring me down.”
I actually perceived Wozniacki’s imitation as more sexist than anything, although there was obviously more concern from my end because Serena is a black woman. Still, I didn’t understand why any woman who knows — or maybe she doesn’t — what it’s like to be taunted for your body would choose to perpetuate that type of behavior during a tennis match of all times. At the very least, if the act wasn’t racist, it was still inappropriate.
Perhaps the best line in Serena’s email was when she added, “if people feel this way, [Wozniacki] should take reason and do something different next time.”
Listen to your friend, girl. Listen to your friend.
What do you think about Serena’s reaction to being mocked?
These kids, they just got out of a car from the Midwest somewhere and they’re in New York City, they’re scared to death; you’re not going to get the best [out of them]. … If it was Bob Dylan, Nicki Minaj would have had him sent to the cornfield! Whereas, if it was Bob Dylan with us, we would have brought the best of him out, as we did with Phillip Phillips. Just saying.”
And to say Tyler started to feel the heat might be the understatement of the year, because according to MTV, he surprisingly decided to apologize for his comments on the Canadian entertainment talk show, eTalk. Or to be more clear, he decided to apologize for the fact that she took them to heart so easily, and took the comments so left:I understand you really wanted to keep your job but take that up with the producers. I haven’t done anything to you. That’s a racist comment You assume that I wouldn’t have liked Bob Dylan??? why? black? rapper? what? go F**k yourself and worry about yourself babe. LOL lets make him a shirt that says “No Coloreds Allowed” then escort him down 2 Barbara Walters so he can tell how he was threatened w/guns
I apologize if it was taken wrong, Nicki. But I am the farthest thing from [being a racist] … I am the last thing on this planet as far as being a racist. I don’t know where she got that out of me saying I’m not sure how she would have judged Bob Dylan. Maybe I spoke out of turn. But a racist I’m not, Nicki.Well didn’t that situation spin out of control fast or what? And it’s definitely interesting how serious his tone changed when responding to her comments, but I’m sure that there’s nothing more jarring to someone like Steven Tyler than to have a black woman with a lot of power and a huge fan base put out into the universe that he might be a racist. Hopefully this whole drama is dead, and that not only will other celebrities stop trying to nitpick at this girl (because like it or not, “Idol” did give her the job), but that she’ll try not to be so sensitive in the future. Just saying *in a Steven Tyler voice*
So Kim Still Thinks Her Comments About Kandi’s House Are Cool: “I Don’t Have To Prove Anything To Anyone”
I get it. I always say racially inappropriate comments when I’m hot, irritated, and homeless too. Sit your pregnant butt down Kim.When Sweetie and I took the hour drive over to Kandi’s new home, I wasn’t in the best mood. It was over 95 degrees outside, I was 7 months pregnant, and Kandi’s home had no A.C. running. Sweetie told me it wasn’t safe at all (however I still went to support Kandi), and in fact there are several movies and songs that describe and portray the harshness of that area. Kandi has always mentioned to me that she loves the way I’ve decorated my homes, so I had no problem giving her tips about decorating. My comment about her having an indoor swimming pool because she’s black was just a silly joke. Kandi, Sweetie, and I laughed. Quite frankly, I wish I had one myself. As for NeNe, she still can’t keep my name out of her mouth! NeNe constantly insinuated “I come from a trailer park” AND I am the racist one? I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I know my character, and the multiple friends of different races that I do have know it as well! Like I have said before and will say here again for the last time, COLOR means absolutely nothing to me, it is the person’s character and blatant ignorance that determines the non-friendship between me and the person. That is all for now.
“4 summers ago, I met somebody. I was 19 years old. He was too. We spent that summer, and the summer after, together. Every day almost, and on the day we were together, time would glide. Most of the day I’d see him, and his smile. By the time I realized I was in love, it was malignant. It was hopeless There was no escaping, no negotiating with the feeling. No choice. It was my first love, it changed my life.”
Grammy-winning rapper Lil Wayne says he feels “unwanted” in Oklahoma City because of his race. Apparently, after a dispute over courtside tickets to Game 3 of the Western Conference Finals in Oklahoma City, Lil Wayne says its’ unlikely he will return.
It looks like Lil Wayne was denied court side tickets because they were sold out, however Lil Wayne believes it’s because he is black…
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Wow. The story is absolutely compelling and continues to dig deeper about how he got out of that life and the roles both sets of parents played in his life, if any, as he got older. I’ve heard some pretty radical things over the years but it would have never crossed my mind to think that someone could hate themselves so much that they’d join a gang to hurt the very people who look like him. Please make sure you read the article right here.“When a child wants to be accepted,” he explains, “he’ll do anything. And if it means you’re getting a certain amount of notoriety from a fight, that’s what you’ll do. If all you’ve known is racism, abuse and persecution, then all of a sudden you’re getting some recognition, that’s your new drug. That’s what you want. By the time I was 16 I was someone to reckon with. I was so eager to repudiate any connection with any immigrant race I would go above and beyond. I was desperate to belong to something. That was my drive as a teenager.”