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From YourTango

There are over two million marriages in the United States and if you are considering joining that number, be sure you know what you’re getting into.  Before you pop the question to your beautiful bride (or groom) to be, you may consider all the things that make you smile – great sex, same taste in food, spontaneous personality – but  you also need to look further down the road.  Here are 3 questions to ask before you ask the biggest question of your life:

Are we having kids, and if so, when?  Believe it or not, the decisions of whether and when to have children can be deal breakers.  So while you may not think it’s a big deal to wait another ten years to have a child, your future spouse may have other plans in mind.  Don’t allow yourself to be in the kind of marriage where your spouse’s gynecologist knows more about her plans to have children then you do.  Raise this conversation before you get married in order to make sure you are on the same page and avoid future disagreements.

Read more at YourTango.com

From YourTango.com

By Susan J. Elliott

“Do you still love me?” “Do you want to break up?” “Do you want to get back together?” These questions and others like them are inquiries that should never be asked unless you are prepared to hear both answers.

By the time these questions are asked, the answer is never going to be good. Yet, I have counseled so many couples and continue to speak to people on a daily basis who ask these questions. The hope is that they are just being insecure and the answer will be the one they want. However, when the answer is not the one they are looking for, they exhibit behavior that is not very attractive and can be humiliating.

If you suspect that your partner does not love you anymore, is seeing someone else, or you are unsure if your ex wants to get back together and the uncertainty is driving you crazy, then, by all means, ask. Just make sure you are prepared for any answer. To not be prepared for the worst possible news is to be in denial. Denial can lead to wishing for something that you know is not going to happen.

Check out Susan Elliott’s advice for how to handle getting an answer you didn’t expect on YourTango.com.

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When it comes to getting employment in today’s economy, it’s all about professional skills and education, but don’t knock ethics and a good old-fashioned hustler’s mentality either. Ethics and social intelligence play just as big of a part in keeping people within great positions, helping them successfully navigate their professional path, networking and actually growing within an organization.

If climbing the career ladder were as easy as doing your work and doing it well, many of us would have executive somewhere in our job title.  Unfortunately, in a work force where job competition grows more and more cutthroat, you may find yourself calling into question your personal and professional ethics. Working smarter and not harder is just as much about networking and social interaction as it is about Excel sheets and PowerPoint presentations.  There comes a time in everyone’s career where they have to decide what type of professional they want to be, and ask themselves the following questions about how their character affects their chances at climbing the ladder:

Madame Noire

I remember when I interned in college and I saw many of my classmates doing what at the time I thought was “the most.”  They would pick up breakfast for their site supervisors and then engage in shallow conversations about how interested they were in the boss’s weekend hobby of gardening (when I knew damn well the only grass they cared about made you light-headed and happy). Still, I could only be but so surprised when they were offered positions within the company when the internship ended.

It’s all about where you stand.  I don’t engage in empty conversations that I don’t care about.  It’s just not me.  I’m all about friendly and polite small talk, but if we don’t click on any level other than that, that’s okay. There are supervisors that enjoy bending over and getting their behinds kissed and others that see right through it.  I’d rather know that I’m being judged on my work ethic and professional skills than how great of a brown-noser I am.

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2.  How valuable is your time?

I won’t even lie. I’ve been that person working on assignment and activities off the clock, but it’s only because I have a significant passion for what I do. With that said, any good organization will recognize when an employee is truly invested and even if you’re not compensated monetarily, you’ll be the first one whom they think of when that promotion comes along. When it comes to working off the clock, my advice is do it because you want to and not because you’re expecting anything in return. It’s also important to note that having your own life doesn’t make you any less dedicated.  Some employers will take advantage of you because they can. When you volunteer to take the minutes at every meeting, team-lead three projects and MC the annual fundraiser event, you don’t look like a hard worker, you look like you don’t know how to manage time and delegate responsibility. You don’t have to apologize for having a life outside of work.

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3.  What are you willing to do to get ahead?

There are all kinds of gray areas that you will encounter in your professional life.  Do you help that co-worker you hate while he is drowning in work that he isn’t too sharp at getting done, but that you’ve done a thousand times?  Do you take equal credit for that great idea your colleague had although all you did was nod and agree?  As you navigate your professional path your character will be constantly tested and you’ll build a reputation for yourself. It all depends on what you can live with doing to get ahead. If that office with the window and a few extra zeros is really worth you breaking backs and throwing others under the bus, assume the position.

Every year about this time, tax season rolls around and the filing frenzy begins. Although the tax forms come with instructions and the government sponsors many free online programs to help you file your claim yourself, tax preparation companies like H&R Block, Jackson Hewitt and Liberty Tax do a lot of business this time of year. In fact, just about anyone can prepare your tax return for you. Be smart about your taxes, though. Make sure you’re getting a qualified preparer and a legitimate return by asking some smart questions.

Source: momlogic

What’s your tax preparer ID number? Starting January 1, 2011, it was decided that all paid tax preparers must have a Preparer Tax Identification Number (PTIN) issued by the IRS and renewed each year. Each preparer must prove his competency and take continuing education classes to renew the PTIN each year. This helps the IRS keep tabs on possible scammers and incompetent preparers. If your preparer doesn’t have a PTIN, he’s not legitimate and you should take your returns elsewhere.

What exact deductions and credits did you put on my return? The whole reason you have someone prepare your taxes is to get as many deductions and credits as possible. You’re hoping that your tax bill will be lower or your tax refund will be higher than what you would have come out with on your own. But, if your preparer is adding on bogus claims on your return, you’re the one in hot water with the IRS–not him. So before you sign the dotted line, make sure you understand every single one of your deductions or credits.

What’s your policy on audits? It doesn’t matter who prepared your taxes. You are responsible for what the forms say. So in the event of a tax audit, you have to defend that return to the IRS. Some tax preparation companies offer to help you with an audit but most of them don’t, so know upfront what the policy is so you can either find a new preparer, or be aware of what could happen with an audit.

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Finally black men are asking one another the questions that everyone else has been asking about them behind their backs in a new documentary titled “Question Bridge: Black Males.” The transmedia art project seeks to redefine black male identity by forcing them to think about who they really are when confronted with questions like:

Do you want to get out of the situation you are in?

What is the reluctance for taking responsibility for improving our community?

Why are you afraid of being intelligent?

Are your children better or worse off as a result of your involvement?

A few of the featured men also explain why they perpetuate the cycles that they do, while others give their thoughts on why things are the way they are. What’s exciting about this project is that you see black men holding one another accountable, and I think black men are much more receptive to critique when it comes from someone who looks like them as opposed to “outsiders” like black women or society as a whole which often sparks defensiveness rather than an open mind.

The film, directed by Chris Johnson and Hank Willis Thomas, was selected for the inaugural Sundance New Frontier Story Lab and is currently on display at the Brooklyn Museum with more exhibits planned in  Oakland, Atlanta, and Utah throughout 2012.

Check out the trailer below and tell us what you think about the concept. What are some questions you have for black men in 2012?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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Welcome to the slowest job market in 20 years! If you’re out there trying to find a job, check out the top nine ways to impress your interviewer. These tips come from professional headhunters and popular job posting sites. When it comes to interviews, first impressions are everything, and can be scary. According to the Association for Psychological Science, you only have 1/10 of a second to make your first impression. Lord, the pressure!

UC Davis Human Resources explains that many companies will call to speak with you before even scheduling an interview to “pre-screen” you. Yes, this means that you have already used your 1/10 of a second. However, if you score an interview, then you have clearly already made a good impression, so when you walk into the office, be sure to exude confidence,  a smile, and be sure to do a few of these other things as well…

I’m sure you’ve encountered many a Caucasian individual in your lifetime who has asked you what certain slang means, about your hair, and the many habits and stereotypes of black people they assume you know. Most of the questions asked are funny, mainly because you know no harm or disrespect is intended. Plus, they always say, when you want to know something, you  should ask someone who might know. But some questions from time to time are just random. Our friends over at Uptown Magazine made note of the wide range of inquiries they’ve heard and compiled a list of the eight most common questions that white folks like to ask, and yes, they’ve answered them.

To see the complete list and to direct your inquisitive melanin-deficient homies to some answers, click over to Uptownmagazine.com.

Some things are better left unsaid; or better yet, left un-asked. For those of you who consider your relationship with your significant other, the closest thing to a best friend outside of your girls, there are still some things that should only be discussed amongst your girls.

Sometimes we ask questions that we really don’t want to know the answer to, unless it’s a compliment to our egos; then there are those questions that we may consider somewhat harmless but leave a man feeling uncomfortable.

Check out these five questions that you should never ask your man. Are you guilty?

(Read Write Web) – When angel investor Chris Sacca announced the launch of his new investment firm Lowercase Capital on Friday, he positioned the news with a lengthy essay – the firm’s “creed” – titled “Venture Capital is Broken.” In it, Sacca observes that ten years ago, it cost over a million dollars for a tech business to launch, with steep hardware, software, office, and Internet costs, not to mention the “lavish parties so print media would write about their pipe dreams.”

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