All Articles Tagged "put a ring on it"
Over the weekend, I got engaged. I was never the type of girl to dream of what her perfect proposal would be like, but this one was perfect for me It was just the two of us, a tender moment…and no ring.
When I told my loved ones I was engaged, they were all thrilled for me. But one friend said my engagement wasn’t “official” until I got the ring on my finger. I quickly corrected her saying that the engagement indeed official because he asked and I accepted. The ring, one we choose together, will just be icing on the cake but certainly not necessary when declaring your love for someone. I’m sure there are women who would not even entertain a proposal without the ring, but that didn’t mean anything to me. He told me he couldn’t wait another day without asking me to be his wife. He was overtaken by love and asked from his heart…not the jewelry store.
Which got me to thinking: Do we place too much importance on the ring instead of what the ring means?
While I was celebrating the fact that I was getting my happily- ever-after, the only thing anyone else seemed to really care about is what the RING looked like. Is it big? Too small? Did he take the “4 C’s” into consideration? Did he spend three months – or year’s – salary on the rock? While I will gladly admire a woman’s engagement ring as she proudly shows it off, all I care about is if the woman getting engaged is happy and in love. However, some women would be disappointed, even angry, if the ring wasn’t up to her standard of what his level of love and commitment should symbolize.
Personally, I’ve never been a “jewelry” person. I have my pieces that I wear often, but I don’t drench myself in diamonds and pearls just to say I have them. Some days, I run out of the house without earrings on and more often than not, I use my cell phone to tell me what time it is instead of wearing one of the many watches I own. It’s just not on my mind.
But admittedly, an engagement/wedding ring is something that a woman will [hopefully] be wearing forever, so it makes sense that she’d want to wear something that she likes. But is the ring an accessory or a reflection of his commitment and love to you?
I have another girlfriend who feels the ring is an indication of how much a man loves her, so if he really loves her, he’ll get her a huge rock. Another said she’d rather have a nice, big ring than a nice, big house. You can’t live in a ring but I digress.
I’m sure the wives Kobe and Tiger – well, Tiger’s ex-wife – had huge diamonds on their fingers. Was that big rock an indication of their fidelity to their wives? Clearly not. Big rings don’t equal commitment or loyalty. Sometimes it means the man had the money – or stretched his means – in order to make her happy or show that he can get her a big ring for others to see. The ring doesn’t make the commitment, the person does.
If the ring means that much to a woman, I’d suggest going with the guy to pick it out – but that’s only if marriage is something you’ve discussed and he doesn’t plan on surprising you with the ring. A lot of men take pride in going to pick out the ring on their own, and they want it to be a special surprise for her. But if he’s nervous or worried that she won’t like it because she’s already “hinted” that she doesn’t want a “BS” ring, I think that takes away from the sincerity of the moment. He may even resent you for making him feel like the ring is more important than him and the marriage. Buying and presenting a woman with a ring is probably nerve racking enough as it is, so worrying about if she’ll think the ring is good enough is an added pressure…and that’s no fun.
I understand that most women want a ring they’ll love and want to wear day in and day out. I get that. But if you truly love your man and want to be married to him because you share a bond, then should the ring matter that much? Some women would wear a ring out of a Cracker Jack box if it meant landing the man of their dreams. Others…not so much. In which case, I wonder what they care about more: the man, the marriage, or the ring? Marriage is about love, commitment, and compromise. If you’d rather be blinged out than have a man who loves you enough to propose in the first place, or live in an apartment rather than a house just so you can show off an iced out finger, then the marriage is probably already doomed. Putting a ring on it should be about love, commitment and building a future, not what people think.
But hey, this is coming from a woman who is over the moon ecstatic to be marrying a man who loves her unconditionally and just couldn’t wait any longer to ask her to be his wife – and who proposed to her without a ring.
Feel differently? Would you say “yes” to a proposal without a ring?
There are over two million marriages in the United States and if you are considering joining that number, be sure you know what you’re getting into. Before you pop the question to your beautiful bride (or groom) to be, you may consider all the things that make you smile – great sex, same taste in food, spontaneous personality – but you also need to look further down the road. Here are 3 questions to ask before you ask the biggest question of your life:
Are we having kids, and if so, when? Believe it or not, the decisions of whether and when to have children can be deal breakers. So while you may not think it’s a big deal to wait another ten years to have a child, your future spouse may have other plans in mind. Don’t allow yourself to be in the kind of marriage where your spouse’s gynecologist knows more about her plans to have children then you do. Raise this conversation before you get married in order to make sure you are on the same page and avoid future disagreements.
Read more at YourTango.com
That’s Evelyn Lozada’s hand right there with Chad’s, rocking a blinged-out wedding ring that she unfortunately wore for less time than her engagement ring given the news that she just filed for divorce from her husband Chad Johnson.
Most people are looking at this situation as the most calculated marriage scheme since Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries, which sadly didn’t happen all that long ago. That Evelyn knew exactly what she was doing when she met Chad, got him to propose, married him, got into an altercation, put out a statement on domestic abuse, and finally filed for divorce. That it was all part of her master plan to increase the brand that is Evelyn Lozada and become the reality TV victim rather than the bully she’s come to be known as.
That’s one theory on this situation and then there’s the one I have about what’s going on. I do believe Evelyn knew exactly what she was doing when she married Chad, but I don’t think it was about –or all about—a paycheck, endorsements, and changing her image. I think she was trying to prove to naysayers that someone would wife her — I wouldn’t exactly call this a marriage—and that she and Chad would make it down the aisle, even if they would be in divorce court six weeks later as they are now.
I’m honestly not convinced that Evelyn is a lot different from most women, bullying aside. The reason no one is surprised that these two are divorcing is because we were all waiting for one of them to get the memo on the train wreck that was their relationship. Most of us didn’t understand how they couldn’t see what we did every time they were on camera together, or a part for that matter, and actually I’m pretty sure they did see it, they just ignored it, to their own demise as many couples do. Evelyn is no saint and the numerous ways in which Chad has screwed himself by this colossal mistake of hooking up with Ev requires an entirely separate post. But when it comes to Ochocinco, head butt aside, there isn’t a single person out here who is thinking, “hmmm, I wonder why Chad changed so quickly after the wedding?” That’s because he didn’t. He’s been the same person from day one. We knew it, Evelyn knows it, and Evelyn even expected it.
We all remember the infamous conversation during this past season of “Basketball Wives” when Evelyn explicitly told Chad:
“I want you to be 100 with me. I’d rather know. Tell me1 I wanna know. Go to the pharmacy and get condoms. I’mma be sick like a motherf–ker but what can I do but respect you and know that you’re telling me the truth rather than hide it. Because at the end of the day you don’t have to tell me nothing. I don’t want to have to babysit you but I’d rather you be real with me because Lord knows what could happen.”
Ol’ boy when to the pharmacy and got the condoms, why you mad Ev? Most people are thinking Evelyn probably didn’t expect Chad to cheat so soon, but I’d like to know if there was ever a time their relationship when they were exclusive? The sheer fact that she had to have that conversation speaks volumes. It wasn’t the typical pre-marital discussion a couple would have laying down expectations should they find themselves feeling sexually attracted to someone else down the line or possibly thinking they may cheat. This was please don’t bring me any diseases and let me know if I need to get tested. We were all as sick as Evelyn said she would be finding out Chad cheated when we watched her have this conversation with him, and it’s actually somewhat surreal that the behavior she outlined back in March is exactly what happened this past weekend.
So why would a woman even take the risk of walking down the aisle with a man like this? To try to prove someone would marry her. To attempt to save the face that is now cracked on the floor from critics who never thought they had a chance. To avoid admitting everyone else was right, including the best friend she lost over this man. Some women would rather be able to say they were a Mrs. for however many days, hours, or weeks it lasts simply to say, someone put a ring on it.
Before I begin this post, I need to dispel a few rumors. For one, there is no black women marriage crisis. That is a myth, mostly broadcast by news outlets looking to gain easy views, reads, and rehashed blog topics. However, black women do marry later – 75% will marry by age 35. Secondly, there is no interracial marriage crisis. According to two doctorates from Howard and Morehouse University, “Six percent of married black men who are high school dropouts have a white wife and 92% have black wives. Among black men with college degrees, 10% have a white wife and 85% have black wives.” When eight of 10 black men will marry a black women, it doesn’t seem like much of an epidemic. Lastly, no list is all-inclusive.
Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way. Click through for the seven reasons why black men marry later.
We’ve read the book, are itching to see the movie but StyleBlazers we must admit, all the hoopla surrounding Steve Harvey’s relationship comedy starring the best brown faces in Hollywood, got us to thinking… If, we repeat, if, we had the chance to score any of the following musicians, we’d lock them down in a heartbeat and have them suckers put a ring on it.
Yes, Nas, Lenny and Andre 3000 have kids and Ice Cube is happily married but the objective of this ordeal is to dream. Big. So go on, drift away to la la land and browse through our succulent gallery of 10 hot musicians. Brace yourself ladies, these men are fine!
For the photo gallery, visit StyleBlazer.com
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