All Articles Tagged "power"

MN Business Tip Of The Day: Claim Your Power

March 31st, 2014 - By Ann Brown
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There can be various things holding you back in your career–procrastination, fear, insecurity. But by tapping not only into your passion but your power you can overcome these personal roadblocks. Claim your power just as you’d claim your name.

“At its core, claiming your power is about having the courage to make the tough decisions that are necessary in order to drive your own destiny, ” says Avis Jones-Deweever, president/CEO of Incite Unlimited, LLC and author of the upcoming book Black Women Lead: Claiming Your Power, Living Your Purpose, Exceptional Leadership in the Boardroom and Beyond.

First you have know you have power. By understanding and loving your authentic self, you will take hold of this power. Discover the things you love, that you have passion for — the things that help define you. Take a look at the things that zap your energy and drain you. Rid yourself of these power blockers.

Trying to make everyone else happy instead of yourself is one way you are giving away your power. Self-doubt is another. Women sometimes push their power aside, being sidetracked by the responsibilities of family, by being intimidated in the workplace, or giving into the stresses of daily life. But you can reclaim your power.

Read affirmations daily, meditate, have alone time to concentrate only on your thoughts.  Then stand up for yourself, your opinions, your beliefs. This conviction embraces your power. You have it… Use it!

More Nekkidness Please: Omari Hardwick To Star In New Starz Series “Power”

January 27th, 2014 - By Madame Noire
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From EurWeb 

50 Cent and STARZ have hooked up for an original drama called “Power” with New York City as the backdrop.

The first season of “Power” will unfold in 8 hour-long episodes and will premiere sometime later this year (Summer?) as the exact date has been decided yet.

According to Shadow and Act’s Tambay, the series’ executive producer, Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, will be seen throughout the show’s run in a recurring role.

“Power” will star Omari Hardwick who plays James “Ghost” St. Patrick, a wealthy New York City nightclub owner, who caters to the city’s elite. Here’s how Tambay describes the lead character.

He wants to build an empire, turn the club into a Fortune 500 business, but there’s just one problem: he is living a double life. When he is not in the club, he is the kingpin of the most lucrative drug network in New York for a very high-level clientele. His marriage, family and business all become unknowingly threatened as he is tempted to leave his criminal life behind and become the rags-to-riches businessman he wants to be most of all.

Read more on 50 Cent’s new show at 

Former NFL Star Darren Sharper Arrested On Suspicion Of Rape Charges

January 18th, 2014 - By Drenna Armstrong
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"Darren Sharper pf"

TMZ is reporting that former NFL star Darren Sharper was arrested on Friday on suspicion of multiple counts of rape.

According to their sources, Sharper’s name is connected with two sexual assaults, one in October 2013 and the other from…this month.

He was arrested in Los Angeles and later released on $200,000 bail.

The name(s) of the alleged victim(s) has not been released, of course, due to the nature of the alleged crime. So far, there has also been no word from Sharper or his attorney.

Wow.  These allegations are shocking and become even more surprising when it’s someone many would consider one of the “nice guys.”

Darren Sharper retired from the NFL in 2011 as a five time Pro Bowler and Super Bowl champion (during his years with the New Orleans Saints). He is currently an analyst for the NFL Network.  The league is right in the midst of the playoffs so it will be interesting to see if he will be on television this weekend during their conference championship games.

A court date has been set for February 14th. We will definitely keep an eye on this story and keep you posted with any updates.

Does Submission Make You Weak Or Powerful In A Relationship?

July 19th, 2013 - By Lauren R.D. Fox
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From Single Black Male 

I know a lot of women shudder at the word “submissive”. They think that it gives men the power to treat them like a slave. They have these visions of women back in the day being knocked over the head and lead around by their hair and not having the power to do anything about it.

Some women have visions of a man telling them what they can do, where they can go and even what they can wear. That is not the correct definition or vision of submission.The definition of Submission is a woman giving the man that she loves and respects the power to lead over their family and make the final decisions.

Read more at the

‘Whose Body Is This Anyway?’ Jada Pinkett Condemns Criticism Of Beyonce And J.Lo’s Chime For Change Outfits

June 5th, 2013 - By Brande Victorian
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Source: WENN

Source: WENN

In case you missed it, this past Saturday the women’s rights charity concert Chime for Change was held in London and featured performances by notable acts like John Legend, Jennifer Lopez, Rita Ora, Mary J. Blige, and headliner Beyonce. Despite the noble cause the artists came together for, some allowed negativity to overshadow the overall purpose of the event, focusing on the clothing — or lack thereof– some performers (namely Beyonce and J. Lo) wore and the mixed message that sent about women and our rights.

As a few observers remarked on Twitter:

“I am all about female empowerment in every form but why does it have to be celebrated in spiked heels and knickers every time #beyonce”

@Chime for change I’m all for your message…but these skimpy costumes and sex dance moves really don’t do much for womens’ empowerment”

The singers themselves didn’t take the time to address these remarks, but Jada Pinkett-Smith certainly did on the medium she’s become quite accustomed to using as her soapbox these days: Facebook.  Commenting on the backlash, she wrote:

Whose body is this anyway?

There was some backlash about the performance outfits for the Chime concert. Since a woman’s body has been deeply connected to sin, it’s easy to forget all the power and beauty her body and sexuality possesses.

Yes, with this power comes great responsibility, but how was Beyonce’s tasteful outfit irresponsible? Here is the problem I see, a woman’s body is too much power for one woman to have, even Beyonce. Although we see corporations exploit this power through women and girls, with far less clothing on than Beyonce, to sell their products, do we protest? But hey, a woman has to be in check, right? Know her position since we’ve all been taught that a powerful woman is dangerous and that a powerful man makes the world go round.

Here’s the deal… soon the reign of shame on a woman’s body and her control of it will end. She will be autonomous. For she can’t truly be free without it. And oh boy…what a different world this place will be…when she is free.

She does have a point there. Do you agree With Miss Jada Pinkett? Or are you in the put some damn clothes on camp?

‘Scandal’s Take On Female Power In Washington: Is It Too Stereotypical?

November 19th, 2012 - By Tonya Garcia
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Good news: This Thursday is Thanksgiving Day and we can eat, eat and eat some more turkey, cranberry sauce and pie.

More good news: ABC is airing a Spike Lee joint on Thanksgiving night – Bad 25, a look at the impact of Michael Jackson’s 1987 blockbuster album “Bad.” Take a moment to say it… “Who’s bad?!”

Bad news: We will be deprived of an episode of Scandal.

Thank goodness we have this interesting article from The Daily Beast to fill the void. The essay is focused on what Scandal says about women in power in Washington DC. To start, Alyssa Rosenberg points out that, in addition to the number of women who have served directly with President Obama, election night brought a few more women to Congress, adding to the number of powerful women in DC. IRL, women are making strides… even if their numbers still aren’t representative of the number of women in the American population. Not to mention how few women of color hold seats in government.

Still, women are making and influencing policy, meeting with world leaders, and having a say in the direction our country is headed. Good stuff.

On Scandal, however, according to the story, women play a much more stereotypical role. Whether it’s the socially conservative Veep who was basically pushed out of the show after she had a scandal of her own, to First Lady Mellie who’s big story line this season is her pregnancy with “America’s baby,” women are there to cause trouble. “In Olivia Pope’s Washington, the most potent power a woman has is to destroy men who believe in their own greatness,” Rosenberg writes. Even Olivia Pope herself is “curiously removed from the actual debates of the day” and could, through her clients or her own adulterous relationship with President Fitz, destroy the lives of a number of male Washingtonians.

Though Scandal deals with some hot topics in a modern and timely way, it’s still basically a soap opera. Soap operas largely revolve around the romantic goings-on between the characters. So the fact that there’s a lot of that happening on the show isn’t a surprise. Sandal is as much a show about the inner workings of Washington as Grey’s Anatomy is about medicine. A great show, not a documentary.

But it’s also important to note that Rosenberg doesn’t really dive into what it is the men are doing while the women are setting up their falls from grace. The men are running around with these ladies! They’re having affairs, talking about having babies (or not having babies, in the case of Cyrus Beene, the President’s right hand man), and talking about relationships. So while there is some talk about a war in South Sudan or other created policy issues, the men are just as involved in all the drama as the women.

Olivia Pope’s business revolves around knowing how to play the Washington game. When a situation goes down, she has a strategy to handle it immediately. She knows who to call, how to thoroughly assess the situation, and how to proceed once she’s got the details of the crisis at hand. She’s shed a few tears here and there and we’re learning more about her romantic past and present with Senator Edison Davis, but mostly, she’s a tough woman who knows how the game is played in that town.

And speaking of a tough woman who knows how the game in played, Mellie has made it clear that she’s setting herself up for a post-First Lady career. She’s quick to point out that she had a thriving professional life before she gave it up so her husband could become President. When the time calls for it, she steps up to keep her image and that of her husband on track, even if behind the scenes, there’s nothing but strife. In fact, it was President Grant who was sneaking off to the Oval Office to make secret phones to Olivia in the middle of the night.

We wouldn’t go so far to say that Scandal presents a perfect image of powerful Washington women. But, the women on this show hold their own. And, for what it is, the show does a pretty good job of portraying a smart, connected DC professional in Olivia Pope; a business owner who manages her staff, handles her clients, and has a Rolodex (not to mention a wardrobe) to die for.

Do you think the show’s portrayal of women in power is negative?

Put It On Lock! Should You Use Sex as a Bargaining Tool?

September 7th, 2012 - By Toya Sharee
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Mama always warned that no man is ever going to buy the cow, if you’re giving the milk away for free. In the process of creating “90 Day” rules and using sex as a dangling carrot in front of a horse instead of a way to truly build a relationship beyond physical attraction, you may be making your man lactose intolerant.  Playing games by putting a price on the pleasure offered by your love below in many ways trivializes just how special that experience can be.

The honest truth is that if a man is only after sex in the first place, it doesn’t matter if you wait 90 days or 9 months, once he gets his half a gallon he will get ghost.  I’m not saying you should have sex with every man you’re attracted to three minutes after meeting him; because if he is really into you sex won’t make a difference, because in many ways the timing does.  There’s a certain level of respect built in a relationship where sex isn’t on the forefront; sex can complicate things and putting it off can allow a man more time to reveal the gentleman or jerk he really is.  What I am saying is that if you initially balance a relationship by making sex the gatekeeper to true intimacy or the path to problem solving, you implicitly send the message that your value lies in between your legs.

But what about using sex as a bargaining tool in a relationship?  Well, there’s big chance that the only one you’re doing a disservice to are your own desires.  When a man doesn’t lose his mind over some lost vajayjay, a woman may look at herself as a sexual #FAIL.  The saying goes that “pu**y is power”, but I don’t believe that holds true.  The power resides in our femininity, our intelligence, our confidence, our strength and the fact that most of us bring so much more to the table than good sex.  In the end, it’s going to take much more than your bedroom skills to keep any man worth holding onto.

Even the most conservative woman has considered using sex as a bargaining tool at some point to get her man to act right in a relationship, but what happens when your man cancels his flight on your power trip or worse yet, seeks another airline?  The truth is that there’s not much to sex; the animals on National Geographic have got that one covered, but what else are you bringing to the table?  Honesty, a little bit of attitude and confidence that comes with knowing a man won’t make or break your happiness are what will get you what you want in a relationship, not holding your libido hostage.

I’m not saying men don’t respond to sex (or the lack of it).  I’ve seen men steal from their mama, lie to their children and quit their jobs just on the anticipation of a sex.  All I’m saying is that if you’re looking for long-term love or a mature relationship, do you really want a man who is simple enough to be played like a puppet solely on the promise of a sexual encounter?  Can you really wake up to a man who you know can’t tell left from right whenever the scent of sex is in the air and still respect him?

So does withholding sex actually ever work?  The answer is yes and no.  If you’re contemplating using sex as conflict collateral, you have to consider just how important getting busy is to your man.  If you never actually communicate about the problem, most men are incapable of drawing an association between you shutting down shop and the fact that he forgot to put the toilet seat down. Some men may be just as content handling business with their hand until you come to your senses.  And for a man whose loyalty is already questionable, withholding sex may be all the reason he needs to seek satisfaction elsewhere.  Does the fact that you locked your legs shut justify his infidelity?  Of course not, but when you start playing games with sex, you have to consider the fact that you could end up losing.

The high school days of “Catch a Girl, Freak a Girl” are over.  When a woman withholds sex it’s a passive-aggressive response to being angry or hurt and a cowardly way to avoid honestly confronting your partner and putting in some work to hash out the conflict.  Boys respond to this type of punishment; a mature man will wonder why you can’t just talk it out.  When you reach adulthood it’s time to be a grown woman who’s bring more to the table besides the fact that you got that “good good and you’re Michael Jackson-bad.”  If you’re over 25 and playing Nicki Minaj lyrics in the back of your head and flying a banner with the belief that your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, you need to consider planting some more things to offer in your garden.  Besides, every woman knows that if you really want to get your way, you take away his Xbox.

Have you ever withheld sex to get your way?  Did it work?

Toya Sharee is a community health educator and parenting education coordinator who has a passion for helping young women build their self-esteem and make well-informed choices about their sexual health. She also advocates for women’s reproductive rights and blogs about everything from beauty to love and relationships. Follow her on Twitter @TheTrueTSharee or visit her blog Bullets and Blessings .


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Just in Time for the Olympics, Take A Look at London’s Most Powerful Black Women

August 1st, 2012 - By Tonya Garcia
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Image: Karen Backett, via

All eyes are on London for the Summer Olympics, so it’s a great time to take a look at the powerful black women who are making waves across the pond. has compiled just such a list that includes jewellers Natasha Faith and Semhal Zemikae, founders of La Diosa (who have outfitted First Lady Michelle Obama, among others); Sonia Meggie, founder of Inspirational YOU, an organization that empowers students and entrepreneurs; and actress Naomie Harris who you’ve already seen in the movies 28 Days Later and Pirates of the Caribbean and will be starring in the latest James Bond flick Skyfall.

The most prominent businesswoman on the list is Karen Blackett, CEO of MediaCom UK, the biggest media buying company in the U.K. Her clients have included Tag Heuer watches and Wrigley’s.

To see the list of all the ladies and their affiliations, go to

Are You an Alpha Female?

June 23rd, 2012 - By Brooke Dean
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When referring to humans, we usually hear the term “alpha male” when describing a man who is powerful, competitive and is a leader who stands out among all men. But the same term applies to women who possess similar traits – the Alpha Female.

Alpha Females are intelligent, “take charge” women who can be seen as powerful, or aggressive, depending on who you ask. Being an Alpha Female should be looked at as a good thing, but most bold women are sometimes recognized as high-maintenance or even a Itchbay by society’s standards.

So are you an Alpha Female? If so, there may be some pros and cons to possessing strong traits. If you are unsure, read through these characteristics to see if any of them describe you.

Read the rest of this entry »

What Would It Really Look Like To Not Need White People’s Approval?

April 19th, 2012 - By Brande Victorian
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Every week, there’s a new report on an instance of black people being excluded, overlooked, or discriminated in some shape or form. This week it was Acura and “The Bachelor,” a few weeks ago it was Vanity Fair and Kerry Washington, always its fashion magazines and runways and beauty campaigns. The thought that comes up most consistently after the outrage is why are we looking for white people’s approval, why are we seeking their validation, why don’t we spend time nurturing our own? And while I don’t agree that by pointing out these instances of discrimination we are seeking white people’s approval (I think it’s holding them accountable and demonstrating evidence to the contrary of their melting pot, post-racial society, we love diversity claims), I do think that more time would be better spent not seeking or needing to be a part of what white people have going on—and have obviously shown through their actions they want to keep to themselves. But I’m curious if we really know what that would mean or how to even achieve it.

When I think of a time when black people had their “own” on a large scale in entertainment, I think of the Robert Johnson 1980 BET days, even Don Cornelius’ Soul Train days come to mind. These men had a vision to give black people something they could be proud of on TV and they made it happen. But the reality is Bob Johnson had to get John C. Malone to invest $500,000 in the project to get it off the ground, and once the network became a raving success, it no longer remained a black-owned network because he sold it to Viacom for $3 billion in 2003, and ever since we’ve been left with the version of “black entertainment” we see now. When I thought about the wealthy rappers that were acknowledged by Forbes yesterday, I noticed a common thread. A lot of the men’s wealth came from selling companies and brands they’d built. Jay-Z sold Rocawear, 50 Cent sold his stake in Vitamin Water, and Dr. Dre gave up his majority ownership in Beats Electronics for a hefty price. It’s a common—and smart—business practice, but not one that allows us to have the ultimate say in the decisions that upset us, like who appears in which advertisements and how we’re portrayed on TV. That wealth also doesn’t trickle down into the community because we’re not selling these businesses off to other African Americans, they’re going to large corporations headed by white men mostly who could care less about our representation, and the money remains in the hands of the black 1%.

I even think about Oprah and the enormous opportunity to change the face of black programming if she would even just back a venture financially, aside from putting it on her network, but from what we’ve observed of her career that’s just not her thing. If we look at where the wealth is distributed in black America and the individuals who have the dollars to invest in independent black films or black clothing designers, the interest just isn’t there. That doesn’t make these figures bad people. They’re businessmen. White people aren’t thinking about sharing the wealth when they embark on a new venture, they’re building their individual pockets. It’s just that there’s so many more of them and so few of us, and so when we run out of the few select black people who could open doors to come through, we’re left with relying on white people to at least acknowledge we exist in some way and to represent us fairly in the media. That’s why we get so upset when they fail—often times on purpose—it really is our last resort in a lot of ways.

The idea of not having to look at programs and networks that weren’t created for us to begin with as the only source of quality programming is like the black community’s Nirvana but we don’t own much and when something isn’t yours, you don’t get much say in how it operates. There’s hope on the horizon with Diddy and Magic Johnson’s new cable channels that are in the works, but even those networks will be owned by Comcast. A few years ago, Quincy Jones announced plans to buy back Vibe, the magazine he started, I’m not sure if the web presence of the publication is evidence he kept his word or not. I hope that there are other black business minds out there with altruistic goals of putting black people on the map, and not just self, but I’m not too optimistic. I am completely behind the idea that we need to create our own and nurture it, my question is, how will we ever be able to do that without needing white people’s approval, at least from a financial backing standpoint, if we’re not even holding on to the things we’ve built or paving the way for others?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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