All Articles Tagged "playing games"
As I’ve written countless times, a romantic relationship — even the best relationship — takes constant attention and work. It doesn’t necessarily need to be hard work, but you do need to pay attention to your partner and to your relationship. Most relationships fail when one or both partners lose track of one another, or lose the ability to communicate clearly and openly with each other.
Along the trend of “Hey, let’s gamify everything that’s work to make it more fun and less like drudgery!” some folks have started publishing relationship cell phone apps. One popular relationship app has couples trying to keep theirlove tank full. But should your serious, romantic, long-term relationship become mere fodder for putting arbitrary metrics on scientifically-questionable concepts like a “love tank”?
A few weeks ago, Susie Neilson writing over at The Atlantic, explored this concept. Consumers respond very well to gamification in other sectors; businesses report increases in engagement by hundreds of percentage points when they gamify, for example.
Using gamification, Kahnoodle wants to make maintaining your relationship automatic and easy — as easy as tapping a button. Its options include sending push notifications to initiatesex; “Koupons” that entitle the bearer to redeemable movie nights and kinky sex, and, of course, the love tank, which fills or empties depending on how many acts of love you’ve logged.
“Novelty works like an endorphin,” says Zuhairah Scott Washington, the company’s founder. “Couples have a desire to go out and do something new, but oftentimes they’re tired. The mobile app incorporates a lot of research on what makes relationships successful but gamifies it to make it fun, makes it fun to do the work required to keep relationships fresh.”
How can something be novel if an app forces you to do it over and over again (e.g., refilling your love tank, sending coupons, scheduling dates)? But more importantly: what happens when you start objectifying things that, well, shouldn’t be objectified — like your relationship?
Eli Finkel nails it on the head in the article: “Much of the benefit of doing considerate things is linked to the fact that those things required thoughtfulness and effort. Take the thoughtfulness out of the acts and they lose much of their meaning.”
Read more at YourTango.com
Nicki Minaj is everywhere you turn these days, from the TV set on “American Idol,” to E! news exclusives on AI drama, and now the June/July cover of Teen Vogue.
Despite covering a mag geared toward teens and tweens, the Queen Barbz actually talked about some heavy stuff in her interview, including why she can’t be bothered playing childish games with grow arse women (we’re gonna guess that means Mariah Carey). Check out snippets from the Q&A:
On industry drama
People treat this business like it’s high school. It can absolutely feel like one big popularity contest, and you know what? I can’t be bothered. I can’t allow myself to play ridiculous games with grown adults in the industry. I can’t be nice to someone just because they’re hot right now. I can’t do it.
On being affected by her parent’s dysfunction
Every time my parents fought, my mother would have us move and I would have to go to a new school, which meant I’d have to face the task of making new friends. I dreaded it. I had butterflies in my stomach each time: Are people going to like or hate me? … Sometimes there’d be a fight, sometimes not. I let people know I wasn’t going to be pushed around.
On dealing with people’s negative opinions of her
“My journey to who I am today began on MySpace. I love getting real opinions from people.”
“I used to read the bad things people said about me, then I asked myself, ‘Why am I reading that when I have millions of people saying great things?’ You cannot give negativity power. I tell teens, if you’re having a problem, there’s nothing wrong with deleting your social media. If people keep taunting you and you keep reading it, it’s poison.
We definitely believe the industry is like high school, but in the same way you shouldn’t be nice to someone just because they’re hot, Nicki should also remember you can’t be rude to someone just because they ask you something you don’t like. She seems to be forgetting she has quite a few mean girl tendencies herself.
What do you think about her interview? Check out a few more photos from her spread on the next pages.
Sometimes, in the name of finding true love, keeping true love, or just keeping some self-respect, you have to play dirty. We’re all for open communication, saying what you mean and meaning what you say, but just every so often, it’s okay to play a game. In other words, it’s okay to be shady, or a bit of a b****, as men would say.
Men are creatures of action more than of words. Sometimes to get a man to do what you want, you need to give him something to react to. You need to do something that will kick his butt into motion. And hey, men already like sports. So why not play a little game sometimes in love?
If you’re into playing games, you might have seen a bit of yourself in the 2001 film, Two Can Play That Game. It was all about the foolish things men and women do in order to keep the upper hand, maintain their sense of power in a relationship. That’s what Shante Smith (Vivica Fox) was doing when she noticed that her man Keith (Morris Chestnut) was “acting up.” You remember the whirlwind journey these two went through; and if you paid attention you might have even picked up on the take away message. You remember it all but we bet you don’t know these behind the scenes secrets. Check them out.
Nina: If a man tells a woman he only wants to be friends… Why does he still show interest?
DY: Because saying “I don’t want a relationship and I want to be friends” is usually manspeak for “I want to continue to hit it as long as I can without you hating me. And, if you catch feelings, I want to always be able to come back and say “But…I said I didn’t want a relationship”
Shaleith: Ok I have a question….why can’t someone see that squandering away their money on unnecessary things when they have bills to pay is madness?
DY: “Why is the sky blue? Why is water wet? Why did Judas rat to Romans while Jesus slept?”
Candis: Why is it guys talk about doing something nice, like cook you dinner, or take you out. Then in the same breath say “and then screw your brains out” like that’s suppose to make me feel like a woman? Why do they mess up the vibe like that?
DY: Some guys suck at communication. And, when you suck at communication, you’re not very good at seduction. One thing you have to realize, though, is that for some women, hearing “I’m going to screw your brains out” turns them on even more. Perhaps that’s want he’s used to dealing with. Basically, it’s up to you to express to him that hearing things like that take you out of the mood. If you don’t tell him, how will he know?
Norca: I need a Valentine’s Day gift idea for my BF. He has everything already! Please help! Thanks!
DY: Experiences—tickets to a game, a personalized lap dance video, a weekend getaway, etc—never hurt. Neither does a steak and BJ.
Wanda: Steve Harvey suggests we make a man wait 6 months before giving him ‘the cookie’. Is a man going to wait that long, or is he just getting his cookies somewhere else while you make him wait? And is a woman who doesn’t make a man wait a keeper?
DY: I thought it was 90 days, not 180? Oh well. Anyway, if a guy really wants to be with you, it’s not going to matter how long he has to wait (or how quick it happens). Obviously, if you make someone wait 20 years (or give it up in 20 seconds), that’s probably not going to end well, but aside from staying away from extremes, there’s really no arbitrary set time on how long you should wait to sleep with a man.
The only clock you should be on is your own. Basically, ask yourself if you’re ready, and don’t do it unless you’re 100% sure your answer is yes.
Erica: Why do men want brownie points for what they as a MAN in the relationship are suppose to be doing in the first place? I understand appreciation but doing the bare minimum isn’t really doing anything at all.
DY: Doesn’t everyone strive for brownie points, though? Couldn’t you say the same thing about women who want praise for being independent? I agree that it’s annoying, but this isn’t a gender specific trait.
Adria: When do you think is the right time to introduce your child/ren to someone new that you are dating??
DY: Opinions vary about this, but I think the best (and safest) time to do this is after you’re sure he’s going to be in your life for an extended period of time.
Annissa: Why does a man say I still love u but clearly is messing with someone else??
DY: He still wants you to love him.
If you’ve been paying attention, you’ve noticed that relationship advice is everywhere. In television shows, in books, on this site and even in church, everybody has something to say about what you should be doing in your relationship. Some of it can be valuable, depending on the source; but in most instances, the relationship advice we get from the media (and people easily influenced by the media) ranks somewhere on the ridiculousness meter. The most blatant examples of terrible relationship advice come from a lot of women’s favorite form of media: romantic comedies. Don’t believe me? Check out some of these examples…
I usually pride myself on being a straight forward person who isn’t into playing games. And while I like to think that I’m a good judge of character when it comes to the opposite sex, most men would argue that universally, all women do the same thing when it comes to getting to know a man and dating – the “test.”
I rejected this idea at first, because after all, not ALL of us put men through the wringer when trying to determine if he’s a potential boo or not. But then I started thinking that maybe it’s something we do subconsciously…an innate, primal instinct that dates back to the stone age where women wanted to procreate with only the strongest of the species. After all, who wants to have a child with a weak man? Putting a man through a series of “tests” is our way of knowing if the man that we’re thinking of as a potential mate is strong, confident and capable enough to “handle” us, take care of us and provide for his family. Besides, we can’t just take his word for it right?
While most women can argue that we don’t need a man to take care of us or our children anymore in 2012, the instinct to test a man may still lie within us, even if we’re not aware of it. Some women test men out of insecurity or fear of rejection…so that if he fails our “tests,” we can reject him before he rejects us. Some women test men just because they get a kick out of it and want to play games. Whatever the reason, this could be a good thing when selecting a mate, or it could blow up and backfire in your face. If you’re unsure if you test men, or if you do it for the right reason, take a look at some of these tests to see if they help…or hurt you in the long run.
So many of us wonder why we’re single when we’re really the ones getting in our own way. A man over a Your Tango.com explains how some women miss out on great guys and great opportunities by playing games when they’re out and about.
Do you play any of these games, see what we mean at Your Tango.com.
More on Madame Noire!
- Celebs Who Rode Their Famous Sibling’s Coattails to Success
- I Get it Now: Parental Wisdom That Took a Minute To Grasp
- No Child Left Behind: Can Having a Big Family Harm Your Children?
- Why I Question The Release of A Posthumous Aaliyah Album
- Getting To Happy: 7 Habits That Can Change Your Life
- Let Sleeping Dogs Lie: 6 Reasons Not to Go Back to Your Ex
- True Life: If I Could Say Anything to My First Love, I’d Say…
- Is The Black Standard of Beauty Giving You Low Self-Esteem?
I have somewhat of a problem that has left me very confused emotionally, and I could use a males perspective from someone who doesn’t know me and isn’t afraid to keep it real with me. I’m friends with this guy and we’ve been friends for about a year now and we mesh so well…. Long story short we’ve developed feelings for each other over the course of our friendship, the problem is he has a girlfriend! Now we’ve never been intimate or even kissed for that matter but the feelings are evident to everyone even his girlfriend (she’s very insecure when it comes to me, she has all reason to be because he’s cheating emotionally)… The thing is he expresses to me how he wants to leave his girlfriend; partly because of me and partly because he believes its the end of the road for their relationship, but he doesn’t want to break her heart (so he says).
My question: is his procrastination a true sign that he really doesn’t want to leave his girlfriend to build something with me? I mean i don’t think he would have any reason to string me along he hasn’t even gotten any…. But hey I’m not a man and as much as i would like to believe that i know what the opposite sex is thinking,I DON’T! please help Champ.Emotionally Confused.