By Taylor Lea Thomas

Source: society6.com

Question:

We are getting married on 12/12/12 at the courthouse. I am thinking of taking pics and sending photos with a message saying we got married. Should we still register for gifts?

Answer:

Dear Bride-to-be,

Love the 12/12/12 wedding date! It’s a very popular wedding date, and a great one at that. Now, on to your question…

Getting married privately in a courthouse setting without the big hoopla of a traditional wedding is one thing. Sending photographs along with a note announcing your marriage to friends and family is another thing. But requesting gifts, which is essentially what you’re suggesting, is looked at as bad wedding etiquette.

Traditionally, a gift registry is intended to aid wedding guests in purchasing a gift that the couple has taken the time to select to ensure that the items received are the items they would want to have and can be brought to the ceremony. In essence, the gift registry is simply a suggestive tool. However, by using the gift registry after the fact, it appears as if you’re asking for gifts. That’s a big no no in terms of proper wedding etiquette. I would, therefore, advise against registering for gifts since there will be no guests attending your courthouse wedding. If, however, those receiving your wedding announcements decide to purchase a wedding gift for you, then that’s fine, but asking for gifts by registering is, again, not the best idea.

Alternative:

Perhaps you can have a small gathering at your home, friend or family’s home, at your church, etc. whereby guests come to celebrate your married life together. In this case, guests can bring a gift if they so desire. Again, do not request gifts! That’s just as bad as requesting cash. You may, however, offer suggestions to those who ask if you’d prefer something specifically. In the end, be a gracious bride and those genuinely interested won’t need a gift registry announcement to buy you a wedding present.

Best wishes.

By Taylor Lea Thomas

Question:

Any suggestions for a formal vow renewal ceremony complete with bridesmaids and groomsmen and traditional wedding attire?

Taylor:

Dear Miss I-Love-You-So-Much-Let’s-Do-It-Again,

First, it’s always so wonderful to hear about marriages that are thriving. Wishing you many, many more blissful years of marriage! You are to be commended. When a marriage works, nothing on earth can take its place. As a wedding planner, I love hearing inspiring stories like yours. Congratulations to you both.

Overall Vow Renewal Theme: “I Still Do.”

I like the idea of redoing your original wedding in a modern way. For your invitations, create one that allows for two photos side by side: your original wedding photo, and a current photo of the two of you all these years later with the invitation wording beneath. On the original photo side, write a sweet caption, something like, “I vowed to love you for better or worse.” With that, add the original wedding date beneath. On the current photo side, you can also write the caption, “I did. I still do. And I’ll forever do,” with the date of your vow renewal ceremony beneath. You can also incorporate the number of years you’ve been married as part of the theme.

If you have children, have each of them read a special passage or a heartfelt letter to the both of you – this would be especially touching if done during the ceremony in place of the Officiant’s or Minister’s typical readings. During the reception, if you have video from your original wedding, before your first dance together, lower the lights in the room and allow the video to play of your original first dance. If you have no video but you have photos, a slideshow would be just as touching to play. Upon its conclusion, the lights can rise again revealing the both of you dressed in the same wedding attire (or modern versions of it), dancing to your original wedding song. If it’s possible to have your original guests attend, invite them too. If they can’t make it, perhaps have them send a short video in to offer their recollection as a guest at your original wedding and what it means now to see you both celebrating your love for each other once again. As a gift to each other, in your wedding bands, engrave “I Still Do.” The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman’s heart.  May you be inspired…

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