All Articles Tagged "phaedra parks"
After watching Phaedra Parks’ journey throughout this season of RHOA, I felt that things had really come full circle for her on Sunday night’s episode. She sat down with T.D. Jakes’ daughter, Sarah Jakes to let it all out about her marriage to Apollo Nida, and to find healing. The thing that really got me was when both women expressed a loss of agency when explaining how they felt like they weren’t allowed to be vulnerable in their relationships. Both women felt that they were under a greater level of scrutiny for their decisions because their former relationships played out in a public manner, and because they are both preacher’s kids.
Even though their situations did play out in a manner in which many of us can’t relate to, I still feel that this issue is something that most women can relate to: the loss of vulnerability.
Many people criticized Parks as they watched her marriage implode. They felt that the self-proclaimed Southern belle didn’t act as if she cared too much about what was going on with Nida. But to me, she seemed to be putting on a brave face because she didn’t want people to see her sweat. I hope that Sunday’s episode allowed people to see just how taxing the situation was on her, and I also hope it shed light on the reality of losing your vulnerability in a tough relationship.
As women, we get a lot of flack for being too emotional, and then we’re judged unfairly if we don’t show enough emotion in certain situations. When a man is emotional, he’s seen as “passionate,” whereas women have insults thrown at us to explain our “behavior.” For reasons such as this, when times get tough a little too often, some women will display a stiff upper lip because people are watching in order to see us crack and fall.
As women, we might be more sensitive to other people’s views of us. We’re very aware that we’re being watched by others, and that has the ability put a damper on how we approach tough situations. However, I don’t think that it’s fair for us to have to taper our emotions based on what other people might think.
The tragically beautiful thing about life is that our emotions allow us to express how we truly feel, so it’s not fair to be robbed of that. That puts us in a position where other people control our reactions to things, as opposed to listening to our own hurt and finding a way to heal in a way that’s best for us.
I feel as though allowing ourselves to lose our vulnerability just exacerbates our problems. Instead of dealing with our emotions, we’re too busy trying to suppress them, which eventually makes us weaker.
I’m not saying that you need to cry for everyone to see it, but you’re doing a disservice to yourself by holding in your emotions. If you’re sad, feel it. If you’re happy, feel that too.
Let’s be honest here: Displaying your emotions won’t make your problems go away, but neither does acting as if you’re devoid of feelings. At the end of the day, you have to do what’s best for you, and if you feel like walking around with a frown on because you don’t want to fake it for others, then do that. There’s power in being vulnerable and honest with yourself about how you’re feeling. In that power you’re expressing that you’re not ashamed of feeling hurt or sad, and you shouldn’t be.
Gain your power back, and feel free to express your true emotions when you deem it necessary. As Jakes and Parks both shared with viewers, being robbed of your vulnerability is akin to being imprisoned, and no one wants to spend unnecessary time being punished for something so natural.
“I’ll Just Put It On After He’s Asleep”: Kandi Says She And Todd Came To A Compromise About Her Bonnets
Last week we showed you a preview clip of “Real Housewives of Atlanta.” In it, Kandi and Todd were conversing about the lack of sex they’ve been having lately. If you’ve been keeping up with this season, you already know that Kandi said they were only doing it once a week, which isn’t good considering that they’re supposed to be in the process of trying to have a child. But as their correspondence went on that lack of sex, Todd blamed the fact that Kandi stays with a bonnet on her head as the reason why he can’t get in the mood.
Todd: “Let’s be real. I’m not Tyson Beckford and you’re not Rihanna. When’s the last time you didn’t have the bonnet on and you put some heels on?”
Kandi: “I had the bonnet on my hair before we got married and it was not a problem.”
Todd: “If I say the bonnet doesn’t turn me on, you gotta be like ‘You know what well maybe I don’t need the bonnet on.’ Like, you have to compromise.”
We all know that this scene was filmed last year, so at this point, they should have been able to figure out this whole bonnet-rocking situation. In her weekly Bravo blog, Kandi says they are trying to come to some sort of resolution that works for them both. When asked if she was shocked by Todd putting her beloved bonnet on blast, the star responded by saying that he’s been talking crazy about her bonnet for some time now.
“No, I wasn’t surprised. He’s always talking crap about my bonnet. That’s nothing new. We’re coming to a compromise about the bonnet. I’ll just put it on after he’s asleep.”
Kandi was also asked about the growing rift in her friendship with Phaedra, which has grown because she wasn’t there for her friend during Apollo’s legal and emotional troubles. It became obvious that things weren’t in a good place not only when Kandi went to Phaedra’s house, but also when the group dinner went left:
“Honestly I was just over it. Every time we all get together there has to be some lame ass ‘tea’ spilled, and I’m just tired of it. Seeing Phaedra jump up was shocking, but clearly she wasn’t really going to hit Kenya and Kenya definitely wasn’t going to do anything.
What tripped me out was hearing Porsha and Phaedra make me out to be the enemy because I left the table two seconds later than they did. That just felt like they said, ‘Hey, we’re going to put Kandi in the middle of this drama in some way.’ Well if Phaedra is really going to play into this whole “Kandi’s not my friend because she didn’t jump into my argument and run out the room faster than me,’ then OK… So be it.”
She also admitted that she’s not crazy about Phaedra’s growing relationship with NeNe, but she’s willing to be understanding and supportive.
“Of course I’m skeptical. NeNe has been nice these last few months, but that does not make me forget the years of drama and insults that have come from her in the past. Yes, I get that people change, but it’s OK for me to proceed with caution as I would’ve thought Phaedra would. Well, hopefully things will continue to be great with them and NeNe can continue to be Phaedra’s rock.”
As for what Phaedra thinks, in her own Bravo blog she stated that NeNe only has good intentions. In fact, she says that NeNe called her daily when she was going through a lot with Apollo while folks like Kandi didn’t.
“I consider NeNe a good friend. We have not always been on the same page, however we have found a common ground of being like-minded, successful entrepreneurs and mothers of sons. When I needed a friend the most, she was there and I will always remember that. It is easy to find friends when life is going well, but it is the ones who are willing to support you during the storms that matter. During the months when my life was spinning out of control, NeNe called me every single day to see how I was doing despite her busy schedule. She sent encouraging text messages when she could not reach me. I was grateful that I had her and Porsha in my corner because they helped me through some of my most difficult days.”
While there’s nothing wrong with NeNe and Phaedra growing closer, I just hope that her friendship with Kandi doesn’t fall apart in the process. They’ve been down for too long for all that.
If you watched last night’s episode of “RHOA,” I’m sure you were just as frustrated with the ladies as I was. I was irritated not only by how thirsty folks were to put Phaedra on blast in front of everyone about cheating rumors, but also by the fact that all of a sudden, everyone is out here trying to make Kandi seem like a manipulative frenemy.
If you’ll recall, early in the episode, Kandi visited Phaedra after admitting that she hadn’t seen her in a while. Phaedra seemed happy about the visit, but during her confessional, she kept bringing up the fact that Kandi really hadn’t been there for her and that she learned who her real friends are during Apollo’s legal drama.
As the episode went on, we saw Phaedra almost throw her purse at Kenya’s head over allegations that Phae Phae had been cheating on Apollo. People, including Porsha, questioned why Kandi didn’t try and defend Phaedra from the inappropriate inquiries about whether or not she was cheating, and why she didn’t sit on the same side of the table as her friend (instead, she sat next to Claudia, Cynthia and Kenya). As previews for next week’s episode show, Kandi will continue to be questioned about her loyalty to Phaedra.
After last night’s episode, Kandi proved be pretty peeved with all the people coming for her, including both her cast mates and individuals on Twitter who said things like this:
So she decided to respond. She explained her side and also let it be known that she has no issues with Phaedra and NeNe getting close. However, considering the questionable things that NeNe has said and done in the past, she’s not sold on Mrs. Leakes…
While I’m sure that Phaedra could have used all the support she could get from Kandi and the ladies in general, Kandi has had issues with her play, her mom (as usual) and her own marriage, so she has to take care of home first…
Do you feel like Kandi is wrong for not being as supportive as Phaedra had hoped she would be? Do you think she should have stepped up in some way during the dinner confrontation? Speak on it.
NeNe And Claudia Bicker, Demetria And Phaedra Make Peace, And Porsha’s Married African Boo Is Put On Blast: RHOA Ep. 11
In this week’s episode of “Real Housewives of Atlanta,” more shade is thrown in Puerto Rico, apologies are handed out, accusations are made about folks dating married African men, and Demetria finally has her time to shine. Let’s chat about everything that went down between the ladies in RHOA Ep. 11 and finally figure out who the real puppetmaster is…
“Your Cl*t Has Left Your Body!”: Phaedra’s Shade, NeNe’s Wrath And Claudia’s Toes Are Unleashed In Puerto Rico: RHOA Ep. 10
I don’t know why these ladies go on group getaways together, knowing good and well they can’t stand one another. But producers already know that sandy beaches and sunshine seem to bring out the worst in the women of Real Housewives of Atlanta. Case in point, tonight’s episode…
Claudia Brings Out The Worst Toes We’ve Ever Seen…
A trip to Puerto Rico (courtesy of Demetria/Roger Bobb) calls for strappy sandals and heels, but unfortunately for Claudia, her toes don’t need to see the light of day. She pulls them out during a visit to the podiatrist in the hopes that a miracle can be worked on her bunion and corns, which she admits are “disgusting.” But there’s no quick fix for her problem. And Kenya, who is supposed to be there for support, does nothing but laugh at Claudia’s “snowcapped mountains” for toes.
Happy New Year! Did you make any resolutions for 2015? One popular promise is to not bring baggage from the past into your future, that includes any past partners. It’s certainly no secret how quick stars join together and separate, but did some of these celebrity divorces surprise you?
Witnessing Apollo show up at a nightclub to beg and plead for his wife to show him some attention and to address the issues plaguing their marriage was pretty uncomfortable to watch. While discussing the awkward exchange on “Watch What Happens Live,” Phaedra told Andy Cohen that her estranged husband has multiple personalities and the one that showed up to the club that night was just one of many.
“Obviously, we’ve seen Apollo on the show become aggressive and he has been, during this time — obviously this was shot, 4 or 5 months ago — so he’s been up and down. He’s been on an emotional rollercoaster. So, he’s been up and down so it’s been quite difficult to deal with his personality, whichever one shows up.”
As for what she was thinking in the moment, Phaedra had this to say:
“I don’t know if anything was going through my mind, but more so just wondering why he would obviously come to this night club and try to have such a interesting conversation in the midst of all these people.”
Phaedra also explained that only one of their sons is aware of what’s going on regarding Apollo being in prison.
“Well, of course we have a one-year old. Mr. President is not aware.
“Ayden definitely knows that he’s in Kentucky and Apollo told him where he was so, he definitely is very aware. That’s very tough for a 4-year-old.”
Though she says that she speaks to her estranged husband 5 to 6 times per week, she made it clear that the divorce is definitely still happening.
“We’re amicably resolving this marriage […] resolving to dissolve.”
This, of course, disputes previous reports where Apollo hinted that there was some chance of reconciliation.
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Is Phaedra Parks making this the most petty time of the year or ushering in a new era as a fabulous single mother? Opinions are mixed when looking at the “Real Housewives of Atlanta” star’s 2014 Holiday card.
Phaedra and her family have always put out Christmas cards this time of year, which included patriarch Apollo Nida, but this year Phaedra seems to be making the point that one monkey don’t stop no show, releasing this adorable pink and white preciousness featuring only her and her sons Dylan and Ayden. Apollo, of course,wouldn’t have been available for a photo shoot as he’s just begun serving his eight-month prison sentence for fraud. But do you think Phaedra is sending a clear message about her relationship status with this card or simply carrying on with life as normal? Either way, she looks great.
“This Isn’t Right”: Apollo Blasts Phaedra For Keeping Him From His Sons In Prison; Says If She Divorces Him, He’s Coming For Her Money
As my colleague said (hey Jazmine!), I’ve never seen someone do as many interviews from prison as Apollo Nida has since he turned himself in back in September. But hey, you have to find a way to make those eight years go by fast, right?
In an interview with InTouch Weekly, Nida said that he’s very hurt that Phaedra Parks has kept him from seeing his sons, Ayden and Dylan, while he’s been in prison. Despite the fact that she told him she wouldn’t bring their sons inside of a prison before he turned himself in, I guess he never really thought she was serious. But after almost three months inside, he’s emotional about the fact that he can’t see his boys:
“I can’t see why she would continue to hurt me by not allowing me to see my boys. This isn’t right. If I don’t see my children for eight years, that would be some bullsh*t and I would fight for that right!
Who in their right mind would allow children to be away from their father for eight years, regardless of where their father is in the world?”
He also says that he is hopeful that she will hold off from divorcing him while he’s in prison, but if she does try to end things, we should all expect things to get very ugly between them:
“I’ve asked Phaedra not to leave me while I’m in here. If she leaves, it would hurt like hell, but as Apollo Nida has done before, I’ll just have to pick myself back up and move forward and figure it out.
I will not walk away empty-handed.”
Oh, Apollo…I really need him not to talk about people not allowing him to see his 4-year-old and 18-month-old sons in prison, especially when it was his own poor decisions that took him away from his children in the first place. But hey, that’s just what I think.
What about you?
Phaedra Parks Says Kenya Moore Still Can’t Be Trusted: “Her Consistent Actions Speak Louder Than Apollo’s Words”
Although Apollo Nida confessed that he was being dishonest when he accused Kenya Moore of offering him sexual favors, Phaedra Parks says that this does not prove Kenya to be a trustworthy person. In fact, she says that Apollo’s scathing allegation was just one of many factors that pitted her against her co-star.
“I moved past this years ago,” the soon-to-be divorced reality star told Bravo. “Unfortunately, Kenya has continued to harp on this matter in order to remain relevant. Some of us have jobs and families to keep our minds and lives fully occupied.”
“Kenya’s consistent behavior from inappropriately interacting with married men to screaming at people, who are in close proximity, through a bullhorn is unacceptable and independent of anything Apollo may or may not have done or said. In short, as it relates to whom and how Kenya is, her consistent actions speak louder than Apollo’s words.”
When asked if she’ll ever be able to “wipe the slate clean” with Kenya and start over, Phaedra had this to say:
“It depends how you define the term ‘wipe the slate clean.’ If that means I’ve let all the craziness go and moved on with my life, then yes. If that means we’re going to be friends and I believe Kenya was somehow wronged, then no.
After Apollo said he had been lying, Kenya has been doing the vindication dance and expecting the rest of us to have an epiphany that she is a wonderful human being. The fact remains that Kenya often acts in an inappropriate, disrespectful, and unbecoming manner towards a lot of people. And has done so for quite some time. As such, it is irrelevant whether Apollo was lying back then, or is lying about lying now.”
Well, that’s that.