All Articles Tagged "paying the bill"
Last week, we had a spirited discussion in the Madame Noire offices about men using coupons on a first date. Most of the office agreed that it was considered tacky and a deal breaker if a man chose to use a groupon or any type of discount program to treat someone to dinner on a first date.
But there were two ladies who said it didn’t matter. Needless to say, many of us were shocked. What was their reasoning you ask? One of my co-workers said she didn’t want to judge anyone for not having enough money and that she didn’t care how the bill was being paid as long as he took the initiative.
I thought that was an interesting point but at the same time, found it null and void considering that there are plenty of inexpensive yet nice restaurants out there that he could’ve selected for a first date. My own personal reasoning for not accepting it stems from the idea that the gesture reflects poorly on the suitor’s sense of sacrifice. For me, it would reflect on how he felt about me.
If he’s too worried about cutting corners on the first date by going to such hefty measures, then I’d assume that there’s someone else he’s willing to go the extra mile for because men tend to go the extra mile, when it comes to impressing women they see as wife material.
I threw out the scenario of the coupon date because of a friend of a friend’s experience ( I know, right?). On her third date with a romantic interest, he busted out a Groupon deal. She was so turned off by the scenario that she consulted her various friends about the validity of her sentiments. Like our office discussion, people were split in their opinions albeit the majority sided on the anti-coupon code of conduct.
What do you think Madame Noire readers? Should we be more open-minded to a man’s frugal ways on a first date or should we run when the coupon comes out?
by Selam Aster
As I was browsing my Google reader and scanning my favorite online mags and blogs, I noticed an article on Essence.com which tackled an all too-popular topic: men insisting on going Dutch on the first date. The author of the story titled “Girl’s Best Friend: Where Have All the Gentleman Gone?“, Nathan Hale Williams, lamented the dearth of gentlemen out there while recounting a story he heard from a platonic friend:
“She’d gone out with a guy for dinner and he suggested that they “split the bill.” Granted, my sister-friend does very well for herself, but the guy she went out with has a good job too. More importantly, he asked her out on the date. I totally understood why she was upset – her date didn’t get it.”
I’ve heard so many of these stories of men not paying on first dates that, at this point, I have to believe that enough women are doing the paying and promoting this trend. Let’s face it: this kind of behavior wouldn’t exist or persist unless there were enough women enabling the behavior. Sure, I do believe that if you’re bold enough to ask a man out, you better be willing to pay for your first date. But I want to hear from women who actually pay half or all of their bill on the first date, initiated by the male. Obviously, if we want to put an end to the lack of chivalry these days, we’re gonna have to be honest with each other and work together to uphold standards. I’m not saying you shouldn’t start paying by the third date, but I think it’s only considerate to treat a lady you asked out the first couple of times around.
Ladies, speak up in the comments section and let’s get real. Are you promoting the degradation of chivalry or are you really striving to be complete equals from jump?
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You’ve been feeling this new potential boo for a while now–there’s been shameless flirting, stolen glances and finally an exchange of numbers. After waiting for your schedules to align you’re sitting at a cozy restaurant on your very first date. *Insert giddy, girlish giggle here* The evening is going beautifully. Conversation is on point, baby boy is looking scrumptious and you’re thinking about the color of your first house together, when the bill comes. Without even so much as a break in the conversation, your prince charming slides the bill to your side of the table. What?!? How do you respond to this gesture?